#chinch48

Eventually, we started to like each other a lot.  And they asked if I would like to be in a relationship with them!  Me, knowing of my previous experiences in relationships (All of them resulting in me getting dumped because of my apathetic attitude at the time), said “I don’t know if we should, because I’ve never been good in relationships...”  But despite my instincts telling me otherwise, my heart dragged me into it. So we WERE in a relationship. For a couple months, too! Both of our birthdays passed, yet... I still didn’t know how old they were. I just knew that they had gotten older after me. Nobody else knew how old they were either, otherwise... they wouldn’t have been able to join the Skype group’s successor, a SFW Discord group that was 16+ and had NSFW text chats for older people. Hell, we all had to put down our info when we joined the chat! Birthdays, blogs, you name it.  But all they did was post their blog. And their blog didn’t have their age either! Nor did any other blog they posted after deleting their previous ones. But of course, as relaxed as everyone was, we were fine with just “I’m of age”, and we had no reason to not believe them. Cause the chat was INHERENTLY SFW ANYWAYS. Anyone who WAS known to be young or younger wasn’t allowed to be in the real NSFW chats.  So, after a couple months of us being together, our birthdays passing, and us doing things that no minor should do at our ages, things got... sour. And when I say sour, I mean they just went bad. And most of everyone could see that it was getting bad. At the time, I was a very happy-go-lucky person, despite fighting with depression and social anxiety at the time. But as time progressed, people could see I was being worn down, more depressed than I usually would be, and... I’d be dragged off to either private calls or other separate calls in the server to talk or... do unsavory things that no minor should do. Now, here’s the kicker -- in most of our private conversations, the same topic would pop up rather frequently. “Do you love me?” “Are you okay with me doing [x]?” Or something along those lines.  Me, not knowing what I was getting into, always responded with love. I’d take time to respond to them properly, because I never wanted to upset them, despite still doing so anyways due to me not being able to talk with them at certain times or not being able to come and see them. Mind you, we live states apart and I was going to public school at the time, so it was hard to keep up with everything! I even let them know from time to time that I’d get uncomfortable just being in a one-on-one convo with anyone, and they said they understood this.  Yet still, I was trying to do my best to not fuck up. So fuck me for putting in effort to make sure things were okay.  Afterwards, their jealousy towards my friends and their anger towards me got so bad that they started venting about me in public chats or the vent channel itself, where they knew I could see. And despite me getting upset, I was never upset at them. Hell, I was upset at myself because I felt like I wasn’t doing enough. And then... They’d turn around and pretend as if nothing happened. As if everything was okay. And the more and more as time progressed, the more stressed and anxious I became.  My anxiety is what led to me dumping them -- but not cause they were doing these things, no. It’s because I felt like I was fucking everything up again. Like I always do. I told them, word for word, “You’d be better off without me.”.  And they would’ve.  But me, being a naive kid who didn’t understand just how fucked up relationships can get, said “I’m fine with you still drawing [insert NSFW content] about me if you really need to.” Boy, those are a set of words I’ve learned to regret. Things just got worse because of it. See, as friends again, we thought it’d still be okay for us to have our private calls where we do naughty things. I thought I was fine with them still saying things like “I love you” or calling me by my nicknames. I thought it was okay for them to continue drawing what they wanted to draw.  But eventually, a part of me realized I wasn’t okay with this. That I was getting EXTREMELY uncomfortable. I still went on with our shenanigans, nonetheless. And my biggest fuck-up to today is saying... “I love you, too.”  That seems pretty harmless, right? Not in this context, no.  We were doing one of those naughty calls, you see.  And boy, did things just go downhill afterwards.  I tried apologizing for what I said, trying to reiterate that I only meant it as a friend. But it was too late. That was my fuck up.  And I’ll always admit that I was a fucking asshole for it.  Another side of me woke up that day, though.  Rage.  Anger.  I was pissed. Because no matter how hard I tried to apologize, I could never make up for my mistake. So out of anger, I called them a bitch. I said some pretty rude shit, and broke off our relationship truly that day. They vauged about me in a call I was sitting in, and as soon as I tried to vent about  it, things just got worse.  I felt horrible for even doing that, so... I left the chat in sadness and anger, thinking that everyone there hated me now. Depression was closing in fast on my thoughts, and I started to heavily regret ever ending it the way I did. So, what did 16 year old me think was a good idea to do?  Take a bottle of 800mg Ibuprofen and wait for death.  Luckily, two friends at the time contacted me during this and got me to call my mom and her fiance to bring me to a hospital to get my stomach pumped.  Audio witnesses to me crying as I puked out regurgitated pills and a singular lolipop, and my mom panicking and getting her fiance to grab my stuff so I could go. And I was gone. I left a shitton of servers, cut contact with EVERYONE for a while, and just... disappeared.  When I came back, everything was... different. The server had pretty much died out, people had left because of the shit that happened, and... they were gone.  Over the course of the next few months, I tried to contact them and apologize. All I was getting was people telling me to stay away from them. So I did.  And I forgot about them almost entirely.  For 2, almost 3 years now. Until... some anon went to this random person and said that I was talking shit about them. Despite the post being about someone and something entirely different. And now, here we are, with me making this shit because I can’t deal with Tumblr anymore.  Here’s another person who wanted to speak out on this topic as well;

The server owner from the chat itself!

“Recently two of my very close friends were ACCUSED of being pedophiles, Toxic-Gummy and O Doodles. First of all, THIS IS AN UNTRUE AND INCREDIBLY SERIOUS ACCUSATION. As someone who is directly involved and also the owner of a server they name drop (A discord server that hasn’t been active since early 2017), I feel the STRONG need to speak out about this.Since their original post, they have responded to several asks and made several posts on the matter.  I also want to preface that this is not a callout post or “drama”, I am NOT doing this because I WANT to get more involved or because I have any ill feelings towards the person making these accusations. I am making this post because not only has @chinch48 thrown incredibly serious accusations such as molestation and pedophelia out there, but they have also threatened to “expose” other people for the same thing. All of which are not involved. When I first met @chinch48 they were known as Shmoof, they had an art blog on tumblr where they actively hid their age. This account has since been removed.They followed several NSFW blogs (primarily undertail ones) and would often interact with people far above their age. Including myself, I am 23 now and I was 20 at the time of knowing Shmoof. When I originally met them I was under the impression they were of age, I know them through OD but we didn’t really have much of a relationship. I was the admin of the chat and they would be in group voice chats occasionally. Throughout my time of knowing them, it felt like they actively avoided interacting with me and now I know why, if I’d known their true age I would have been furious and they definitely knew that. At no point did they not realise what they were doing was wrong and could get a lot of people in trouble. My old server was a personal server full of close friends and some mutuals. Shmoof was one of the few people I didn’t know very well but despite that they were INCREDIBLY active in this server.No one in the group knew Shmoof’s age because they actively hid it, originally when Shmoof started making posts on the chinch48 account yesterday they accused everyone in the group of knowing. But since they have admitted to hiding their age in the group specifically, this is just one of several contradictions:

In this post they mention that Gummy and OD knew their age from the very beginning. Gummy barely knew/interacted with Shmoof, I think the only reason they name drop them is because they’re one of the few people Shmoof still remembers by username. I can’t speak for OD because they have known Shmoof longer than any of us, but at the time of meeting Shmoof OD was 15 years old, a minor. Shmoof insists that OD wasn’t 15 and instead was 16, but they contradict themselves by ALSO mentioning they joined the group when it was on skype before it migrated to discord. The chat was on skype in 2015, so basic math would tell you that YES. OD was indeed 15 at the age of meeting Shmoof, either that or they were lying about when they joined the chat.

In their posts, Shmoof tells us that they were 12-13 at the time of knowing OD. When they met one another they were 12 and 15, I can’t remember when exactly they dated but I DO know that Shmoof was 13 and their relationship lasted a few months in 2016. They’d both known each other for some time and they were BOTH UNDERAGE. While I agree that a 12-13 year old is not ready to date or make decisions in a relationship, that does not mean they aren’t responsible for their OWN actions. Both parties got hurt, both parties were heavily involved with one another and that is THEIR OWN BUSINESS. But Shmoof finds the need to make this public because they were “taken advantage of”, “groomed” and OD is a “pedophile”. OD has not had any contact with Shmoof since they broke up in 2016, at the time of dating they were both minors. Legally, by definition and socially that is FAR from a pedophile. YES, there is an age gap but accusing OD of pedophelia couldn’t be further from the truth.

Shmoof’s involvement of the discord server is interesting, while they were an active member during their time dating OD… They broke a lot of rules and put a lot of people at risk. Again, the biggest issue was Shmoof lying about their age. The server had a strict 16+ policy (When OD joined, he was 16 and I was under the STRONG impression shmoof was 16 if not older), it was a private server for people to hang out with one another, joke and ALTHOUGH Shmoof refers to it as a NSFW server, that isn’t all it was. It was a regular server with SFW and NSFW text channels. Since the server was 16+ people were allowed to curse and talk about anything. Althought I did keep an eye on the chat, the rules were pretty relaxed because we were all close friends. Now knowing Shmoofs REAL age, they acted INCREDIBLY INAPPROPRIATELY during their time in that server, to the point where there is absolutely NO WAY they were not aware of the way they presented themselves and what they were doing:

On Shmoof’s blog, not only did they hide their age but they would also draw themself as someone obviously older. While in the dabcorp chat, they would draw NSFW content of themselves on a frequent basis.

Art they drew of them and OD:

How they would treat OD: I don’t doubt that Shmoof was hurt when they broke up, otherwise it wouldn’t make sense for them to be so fixated on this two years later. But this definitely wasn’t a one sided relationship. Shmoof and OD both talked about each other a lot, drew each other and cared about one another. Shmoof was not groomed, both OD and Shmoof were figuring things out as they went along and had been friends for a while before dating (again I don’t really approve of such young relationships but everyone makes mistakes). Although I never saw how OD and Shmoof treated one another in private, I DID see how Shmoof treated OD in public. They would often publicly berate OD in the vent chat or main when they knew OD would read it, they would also share private messages while they were still mad. This is a form of abuse in and of itself (You don’t get a pass just because of your age). However they would also openly show their affection towards OD, further proving that they weren’t “forced” into this relationship: 

Shmoof told us they were of age and we had no reason not to believe them, they acted like an adult and frequently addressed people “younger than them” (which I now know were older or their age) as kids:

This was in response to Gummy (another person they accused of being a pedophile) complaining about underaged people following their NSFW tumblr blog. This was a topic we frequently talked about in the group, Shmoof KNEW how we felt about underage people viewing 18+ blogs. “ 

And that’s all they had to said about Shmoof. I honestly don’t think I NEED to go further, but... here’s a little snippet of how our private convos were: 

Since I’m officially done with this post,let me just say a few more things before I let this blog rot, like everyone wants me to.  Firstly, 

NEVER make accusations like these lightly! “Pedophile” and “Abuser” are both extremely life-threatening accusations to make, especially with no evidence being provided aside from deflecting people’s questions about your logic.

I get that you’re still upset at me for ending things so badly between us, but there are HEALTHIER WAYS to resolve your anger than getting thousands of people to send death threats and wishes of misfortune because you’re throwing these terms around so lightly.

Secondly,

Don’t bring others into this mess when they had nothing to do with it and treated you like a family member, despite you lying to us all.

If this is really between me and you, please remove EVERYONES names off of that post, INCLUDING Gummy’s. Be at least somewhat respectful to people who showed you kindness and love where you weren’t getting it in your life at the time.

Don’t make a post saying how you don’t want revenge or have malicious intentions when it’s clear that THAT’S what you’re rolling with. It’s, in no way, okay to drag others into your anger towards me. 

You’re still in contact with some of these people too, dude. Think about that.

And finally...

This post wasn’t made out of spite or just to be like “YEAH THEY’RE LYING AND I HAVE PROOF!!!”. This was made to tell every single one of you that I will never bullshit you on something as serious as this. 

Even if you don’t want to believe a single word of this, that’s okay -- I understand. You have your own opinions, and I have mine. It’s okay if you’re upset at me, but don’t ever say that I never admitted to my wrongdoings, despite my wrongs being far worse than I could’ve ever imagined. 

Out of respect, I refuse to tell anyone Chinch’s/Shmoof’s actual name, but... 

Don’t ever name-drop me.

Don’t threaten to send the police after me or ANYONE, for that matter.

And sure as hell don’t ever fuck around like this again. You clearly don’t understand the implications of what you’re saying. 

And you wanna know why?

It’s because you’re a child who has yet to experience the real problems of the world. Who has yet to learn what it means to be a mature adult. 

And I’m not saying I have learned this fully myself, but I sure as hell have a lot more experience than you do in the “growing up” department.

That’s an EXTREMELY harsh way of putting it, but you need to understand the gravity of the situation and what you’re just throwing out here. 

Please, the next time you have this built-up rage towards someone, try and handle it in a healthier fashion. It’ll save you SO much trouble. 

And to anyone still throwing death threats and the like towards me, either in my inbox, in my messenger, or in tags or little replies... Think of it this way; What if your best friend or loved one was in the same position that I’m in? Would you just cut them off completely, or would you hear them out? Would you let them get shit on because of someone else’s word and word alone, or would you do something to help them, despite the consequences? 

Think about that for as long as this post and Tumblr itself remains. 

Think about if this shit happened to you or anyone you care about.

And understand that words hurt, SO, so much.

To everyone reading my final post on this godforsaken site, I apologize for leaving on such a sour note. But... if my name is gonna be dragged through the dirt, if my friends are gonna get shat on because of me, and I’ll keep getting continuously berated for falsified information, I’d rather just go. 

It’s not good for my health, both physically and mentally.