#42: The Death Master
"Yeah, if it was just Death Master that'd be one thing, but this is THE Death Master! Meaning if I wanna master death, this is the guy to train with! I have a huge thumb wrestling match with Death coming up so I should probably train and grow strong"
Lightning crackles on the title screen and THE DEATH MASTER logo shatters out of a towering monolith with a shower of blood(??) A barely-dressed, axe-wielding barbarian hero appears over the Press Start prompt, and begins swinging his huge battle axe at nothing.
Chillarmy_The_Bee: start playing, chop chop! Heheh aroseahorseboy: see, this is men being reduced to sex objects
"I know isn't it great?" Bea can't press start fast enough!
"This looks SUPER oldschool NES so you know it's gonna be hard, no rest for your poor queen I guess" She pouts.
This game is very much in the flavor of an early hack-n-slash like Rastan or Trojan. You really are the Death Master, all the monsters are SUPER easy to kill, and there's tons of blood! EVERYTHING bleeds red blood, from orcs and goblins, to plant monsters, robots and ghosts!
Butterfly_Defect: damn, you are destroying this entire country! Will anything be alive when Bea is done? Karbokarr: Axe dude is merciless Baconnaise: The MUSHROOM is bleeding.
She takes out horde after horde of enemies. "This is like the opposite of Samurai Jack, everything I cut turns to blood instead of robots! But I can't help but feel like this wasn't balanced that well? I think I can die but I'd have to let it happen!"
"I'm trying to think of something to name this guy and Alonzo keeps coming to mind" Despite the gruesome sprays of pixelated blood, he does have a certain charm.
The final stage is a cemetery town, where ghosts, ghouls and reapers swarm around 'Alonzo' and are dutifully chopped into alpo! It's been a fun ride even if it was way too easy. "At least we haven't been killing people, I don't think? Unless he burned down the towns we've gone through"
Boss time is upon us, though... And it's a Grim Reaper that's about two screens tall! Alonzo has to ride his scythe up when he swings it and swing at his face as he falls back down!
"That's a whole lotta Death" Bea mutters as the battle begins. She adapts pretty quickly but this is surely the toughest fight yet, no button mashing to victory this time!
"These games are definitely getting better as we keep going, we've come a long way from 'This Isn't A Snake Clone With A Tapeworm We Promise'" She hums the Kid Icarus fanfare as she refuses to fear the reaper.
Finally, with just a couple well-placed chops each, Alonzo scatters all the Reaper's bones but one-- the skull, which bounces helplessly around as they finally hit the floor below. One more smack, and it falls in half, dry and empty!
"Annnd here comes the candy- oh" She looks a little disappointed. "Oddly enough the final boss is the least bloody one! What a... BONE head!"
"Wait don't unsubscribe yet I'll have another joke in a minute, I promise"
The reaper's cloak comes fluttering down, and lands on Alonzo-- and his eyes glow red.
The words bleed onto the screen like open wounds: [YOU ARE THE DEATH MASTER.]
"Death master, reaper blaster, my axe is also a stratocaster! BWEEOWOWOWOWOW! That's how a guitar sounds right?"
"So! Now I am become death, destroyer of worlds! Uh... Not sure how to feel about this? Surely I done good?"
As Death-Alonzo flies off into the sky... The previous levels pass by, and all the monsters, orcs and ogres you dispatched are returned to life! Some even have families, wives and children to embrace them with joy!
Karbokarr: wow, undoing all the damage DueyDecimal: It was... All worth it?
"Master of Mood Whiplash!" She watches in awe, and also in 'awww!' "What a nice way to end a gruesome slaughterfest! Not at all what I expected but I'm not complaining!"
Finally the Death Master lands in front of a grave with piles of fresh earth and pauses. Then he drops to one knee, head hung.
[THE DEATH MASTER CAN UNDO ANY DEATH IT HAS CAUSED.] [GOOD NEWS. IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT.]
"I... I.. I didn't want feels, don't do this to me"
"Aw hell, who's in the ground? Mom? Dad? Brother? Sister?? Was there an intro I skipped???"
Syrupentine: T___T aroseahorseboy: not much plot till the end but GEEZ
"If you guys picked up on something I missed lemme know. But..damn. Did we kill everyone and revive them for nothing?"
Syrupentine: I don't think there was any clue beforehand, no HNV: Maybe you were trying to clear your name? Or... no, if you can only revive things YOU killed, that would prove you did it DueyDecimal: You thought you were guilty but you weren't... Yay?
