Specifically how the owl house is really advocating for child autonomy. Specifically in the ways of discipline, showing that communicating and talking with children ends up being a lot more beneficial and effective than punishing them.

The most obvious example comes with the collector, where instead of talking to him, King’s dad punished the kid by putting him in essentially time out, for the actions of his siblings. Which he would’ve learned if he had talked to the collector. And then following that, every interaction before talking with Luz, has the collector being used or placated in some way instead of being treated like an actual child due to the amount of power he has. The titan trappers revering him as some sort of god, Belos manipulating him, and even king attempting to appease the collector, instead of really talking to him. Though for king it’s a bit more understandable. Even so, the show showcases the collector’s change only after he’s talked to like a person, and then shown why his views were wrong.

Luz, who’s the main focus of the show, has her character arc and journey centered around being punished for her not fitting in at school. And while, yes, some of Luz’s antics that were shown seemed to be legitimately dangerous, the real solution would’ve been to talk with her and teach her about safety and why bringing wild animals and fireworks into a school building is dangerous. It should have also been that Luz should be able to talk and negotiate with her teacher about what would be acceptable for her projects with her endless creativity. The solution was not to essentially punish Luz for being creative, and what that only did was make her feel worse about herself and more isolated from the people she thought would be on her side. And then we were shown in thanks to them and for the future, Camilla’s growth into understanding that not talking to Luz about this, and essentially forcing her into normality, was not the way to go about things.

And we see this theme again, with Willow forced into the abomination track because her parent’s thought that was what was best for her, until she was able to showcase her skills and switch to what she was actually good at. Alador realizing he missed a lot of Amity’s growth by not talking to her, and then making it up to Amity by letting her set the boundaries and reestablishing their relationship. Odalia being controlling and not listening to her children which lead to actively harming their social development, until she was confronted and then shut out. Belos manipulating Hunter, isolating him, and abusing him, not even listening to what he had to say. And all of these situations were made better and more bearable when they were given the chance to take charge and be heard.

All this, in an attempt to showcase that children can be vulnerable and malleable, but they are also smart and understanding. And instead of deciding what a child needs, it’s important to communicate with the child instead, asking what they need and listening to what they’re saying. And implementing that by guiding and supporting them, not attempting to control them to what someone else thinks is right.

Children are smart and observant, they just need to be taught how to communicate, and viewed and thought of as actual human beings.

I’m realizing why I loved that show so much growing up. That show gave kids in abusive and neglectful environments autonomy where they had none, and I wanted that so dearly when I was repeatedly refused mine.

And looking it there’s a common theme with all of my favorite shows growing up: they attempted to give kids agency.

Maybe part of the problem with this world is that no one treats kids like they’re full people or that they have rights. That kids are treated like they don’t matter, or that their feelings are discarded if it’s not in the interest of the parent or the adults around them. That’s why teenagers often become rebellious. They’re not really rebellious, though. They just want people to listen to them and stop treating them like they’re stupid, that they don’t know what’s best for them. To be trusted to make their own decisions, even if those decisions don’t end up great. To not be punished when they show you who they are, or when they offer an opinion that isn’t your own.

​I often watch my grandson, Salar, transition between two worlds that couldn’t be more different. In Munich, his morning begins at the Kita, where the focus is on a very German brand of independence. In Karachi, his evenings are defined by the Dastarkhwan, a communal floor-spread where the rules are governed by connection and heritage. Balancing these two lives as a Global Grandfather has taught…

Suppose for the sake of argument, that this is a perfectly isolated incident, any enforced law isn't related to societal norms by magic, etc. (Very much not the case in this book.) So this is, by magic, a purely one off incident, any punishment or lack thereof wouldn't affect any other potential kidnappers ever. It's entirely disconnected from the social fabric.

The child, age 11, loves her caretaker parents and wants to stay with them, even upon finding out about all this. She spent a few days with bio parents and didn't like their vibe, wants to live with caretaker parents. The caretaker parents also have a set of (grandparents, aunt and uncle, whatever relations) who the child adores.

this includes once theyre old enough getting to have some input on the clothes they get to keep and wear

i think a contributing factor for kids not caring what their room looks like is the fact a lot of the stuff in their rooms arent things theyre interested in having

this doesnt mean going off to buy a castle bed or race car bed when your family clearly cant afford it but maybe at least giving your child stickers/posters to decorate their walls letting them decide to paint their furniture and room however they want