When you wander the endless stretch of gray that is Thomas's subconscious, you find yourself in a loop that would drive the sanest person mad. Always back where you started with no sign of having ever changed the path you walked. You could walk in a straight line and still wind up at your beginning.

And that's how Deceit spent his days, waking the length of the subconscious as far as he could until he inevitably made it back to his room in the hidden commons of Thomas's mind. After a while, the deceiving side grew bored of staring at the infinite stretch of gray that grew darker and darker with each day.

Eventually, Deceit stopped walking the subconscious, in favor of sitting in his room reading, reading, and reading. He barely even ate. Not that he needed to, being imaginary he didn't actually need food. Anxiety had long since left him to stay in the limbo between "light" and "dark". Not that Deceit blamed him. Anxiety seemed happier there than in either category of their host's mind.

But that still doesn't explain the lit lamp.

You could wander the abyss of the subconscious for years and never come across another being, or spend hours pouring over any and all books you can get your hands on or watch a TV which was about as real as you for months and nothing will ever change in this cycle.

Except for Deceit, it did. Everything changed drastically.

The vast shadows were always silent, and it had been so incredibly long since Deceit had heard even a peep. The TV remained mute, no stereo blasted his favorite musicals, no idle humming or turn of a page as he sat on his floor, mind as quiet as the world around him. Until it suddenly wasn't.

Suddenly wasn't a mind-numbing quiet that you wanted to fill, and suddenly wasn't a silence so thick not even a burning knife could cut through. The silence was shattered, as though it were merely glass and someone had simply pushed too hard against and it collapsed on itself.

Crying. What Deceit heard was crying. Wails for someone to come, words jumbled and desperate and filled with terror.

Deceit keeps his lamp on when he sleeps.

This is because when you find a new side, trembling and sobbing about the shadows with their pitchforks and swords ready to slaughter them, weeping about a pain that Deceit could never know to exist; when you find a child like that-

You learn that one simple lamp being off isn't so simple anymore.

Duke of Creativity was found shrouded in darkness, abandoned and frightful and hurting all over. He flinched when Deceit first spoke in a raspy voice from so long of so little use, but he collapsed into the scaly arms anyway, holding on as tight as he could.

The third night the Duke was with Deceit, Deceit had been startled by the gross sobbing coming from the room adjacent. He wasted no time in entering Creativity's room, finding the boy curled on the floor among torn-up drawings and writings and wailing once more about how they'd come and get rid of him for good, the shadows would drag him back and keep him locked away forever, he didn't want to go back he didn't want to be hurt again-

Deceit had flicked on the light switch, unsure of what to do as he settled beside the Duke. It seemed to help, the bright lights of the room so sudden they startled the Duke from his thoughts.

That's why they created a light that Remus could control, dim to as dark or as bright as he wanted.

But the light didn't drive away nightmares, or the memories of being ripped apart, or the agonizing thoughts of never seeing his brother again. The idea that he was horrid and evil and an outcast and wrong haunted him whether the lights were on or off.

So the Duke wandered to Deceit's room, worrying at his lip and hugging his mangled stuffed animal close to his chest. What if Deceit didn't want him there? What if he were to get mad, and shun him back to the shadows? What if he hurt Deceit in his sleep? The Duke would never forgive himself, not after how kind Deceit had treated him.

Just as he was about to leave, maybe sob himself a river to drown in to get some sleep, Deceit stirred. "Duke...? Something wrong?"

The Duke stiffened, then shook his head. Deceit frowned. "Yes, there is. C'mere." He patted his bed, and the Duke shuffled over to Deceit, before clambering onto the high bed. The room, once shrouded in darkness, was now illuminated by the bedside lamp. "Did the lights burn out in your room?" Deceit asked, extending his arms in case the Duke wished to be embraced. God, he really really wanted to.

So the Duke leaned against Deceit, letting the older side pull him close and his arms seemed to drive away all the monsters that had followed the Duke from the shadows, haunting his thoughts every waking moment. The Duke shook his head, burrowing himself into Deceit's side.

"Nightmares?"

"So many..." the Duje mumbled, and a wet spot began to grow where his face pressed against Deceit. "I can't- I- they just won't go!" He cried, gripping onto Deceit's shirt, knuckles going white quickly.

Deceit began to card his fingers through the Duke's hair. "How about now?"

The Duke was quiet for a moment, tears still streaming down his cheeks but he shook his head. "Gone."

"How about you sleep in here tonight, then, okay?"

The Duke looked up. "Really?"

Deceit nodded. "I'll keep the lamp on, too."

The Duke smiled bright, though his eyes were still glossy with tears as he nodded. Deceit pressed a gentle kiss to the boy's head before they both shuffled under the covers, the Duke wrapping himself tightly around Deceit's middle. As Deceit began to hum softly, a solemn tune the Duke loved dearly during the day, the Duke soon slipped into a calm slumber.

And so, Deceit keeps his lamp on when he sleeps. If only to make sure his son slept peacefully.

---------------------------------------

Taglists

Just ask to be added or removed or not tagged in certain content!

He sternly forbade himself from picturing Patton’s face. He was doing the right thing- the poor kid needed a change. Patton would agree. Of course he would. And Logan was being foolish. Under normal circumstances, Janus had a certain respect for his fellow voice of reason, but not this time. This time, the Light Sides had been cripplingly misdirected in their judgement- it wasn’t the first account of this by a long shot, but this one effected the wrong person. No, not just the Light Sides- it was Logan. Logan had convinced Patton of his selfish opinion, and-

Janus would not picture Patton’s face. He would look into Remus’ and walk forward until the kid was reunited with Prince Roman because it was the right thing to do. If the others couldn’t see that… well. Janus was already a Dark Side. There wasn’t much more they could do to him. 

The kid bounced on the balls of his feet, unnervingly quiet as he stood beside his caretaker. They looked together through the door.

“Should we bring graham crackers? For Roman? Or- if we get hungry? Are you sure Virgil doesn’t wanna come with us? Why not?”

There it was. Maybe Janus hadn’t missed the chattering, after all.

He didn’t mean that.

“...Maybe you’re right. We should bring food.” Janus turned around, but Remus’ hand dashed out to cling to his. 

“No, no, we’re going. Let’s go!” 

His uncharacteristic moment of anxiety gone as soon as it had arrived, Remus pulled Janus through the door with surprising strength- and in the next moment, they were on the path, almost unrecognizable from the last time Janus had walked it. 

It was cold and dark- darker here than anywhere else on their side of the Mindscape. If this was what the Light Sides saw of them, Janus could almost understand their fear. Almost. 

Remus was undeterred, if intrigued. He didn’t waste any time, striding over the narrow path and forcing Janus to steady himself and follow.

The ground squelched miserably underfoot as Remus chattered on, the raised pitch of his voice the only thing that betrayed his unusual mood. Janus tried to focus on the child’s words, even if they were mostly just for the sake of keeping busy, but found he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the looming branches and marshy land, the fog and the darkness and the shadows that moved but not really but maybe. If the Light Sides came through here and the door found them at the end of the dreary trail, all else they’d see of Janus’ home was the gray walls and the artificial lights and the old carpeting. He couldn’t stand it.

But that wasn’t all they’d seen, was it? Patton and Logan had gone into the Dark Sides’ real forest, with the tall trees and the springy pine needles underfoot. He’d taken the shady shortcut to the edge of the Light pathways with Patton trailing behind, ready to pull ahead once they’d reached his terf- although Janus knew it just as well, now. They knew that this wasn’t all there was- and, really, Janus hadn’t even known the extent of it until he’d walked this way himself. 

They pretended this was all they’d seen: the creeping vines that strangled the gnarled trees, the mysterious blinks of light that came in pairs, eyes watching from the shadows- like animatronics in a carnival ride. They pretended Janus and Virgil and this- this kid were all just some of the monsters in their closet. 

Janus shook his head. Patton took time off just to come see him, to talk about their lives. He couldn’t imagine the fragile side would much enjoy traversing this path every month, but he did it for them. And yet… he never asked to see Remus. He followed Logan’s ideas like a lost puppy- and he was supposed to be the moral side, the leader in his field.

And suddenly Janus’ pace picked up with his thoughts. That was where this all came from, wasn’t it? The logical side had too much sway over Patton- once he’d decided that Remus was dangerous, that would’ve been the end of it, no matter what Morality thought. Janus’ heart surged at the idea- Patton had been innocent the whole time. Misguided. And of course he was- he wouldn’t have allowed any of this otherwise. 

It was a huge weight off of Janus’ shoulders. Logan was the leader of the Light Sides, then, much like he was the leader of his domain. Though, really, he was more of a parent- his wards needed him. Patton was capable of making his own decisions. It was Logan’s vice that he overlooked his companion, not Patton’s. 

Remus ran ahead on his little legs and Janus swore, dashing after him- but his carefully hopeful mood wasn’t dampened. When he looked at Remus, the mantra echoed through his head- 

It’s not Patton’s fault.

It can’t be.

The rest of the walk went similarly, Janus’ thoughts chasing each other around his head as he tried to stay calm. The path they were on, however, changed drastically- first the black mosses and creeping vines retreated, leaving the dark trees bare like marble pillars. Then, slowly, the ground underfoot firmed, and the banks became dotted with new life. Tiny sprouts and grasses, hiding the black earth- and even the trees seemed to grow new branches as the two of them went on. Green climbing flowers began to consume the rough bark, covering them with little yellow flowers and hanging down curtains of moss from their strong branches.

Janus and Remus came to a full stop as they reached the first sign of sunlight, a thick beam of it breaking in from the canopy far above. Their toes touched the edge of the warmed reddish brown dirt. He wasn’t as unfamiliar with the concept of direct sunlight as his- as the kid was, but this time it felt… important.

Speaking of the child- Remus’ face was flushed from overexertion, but he hardly seemed to notice. His panting breaths had quieted through his parted lips, and his eyes were huge as he looked at the stark line between sun and shade. Janus had plenty of time to wonder if Remus remembered the moment he stepped out of that light- the seconds seemed to stretch on forever. 

Remus leaned forward almost indiscernibly, and the slant of the light caught the tip of his nose, lighting the edges and warming his pale skin. The kid’s brow furrowed and he shied back out of the light. 

“I didn’t know the sun could do that,” he remarked matter-of-factly, trying to peer up through the leaves without getting any more sun on his face. “Is it dangerous? Will I get a sunburn and have to peel my face off?” 

“...No. Direct sunlight only burns after more than ten minutes- and that’s not how sunburns work.” Janus answered, trying to keep his voice even.

“Have you ever had one?”

“Once or twice.”

“From when?”

“Work meetings. We have them outside.” This seemed to satisfy Remus- but only for a moment.

“So it’s safe to go out in?” 

“Perfectly safe.” 

“...I didn’t know the sun could do this,” he repeated, almost to himself. The words jabbed Janus anew, and the next second the kid was winding up and jumping two-footed over the line.

The cast-off advisor stepped with the Prince into the Light Side.

TAG LIST 

So that was how he found the two dark sides, child size and crying, he froze as his eyes landed on them, they were both very small and distressed, they were both in small animal themed onesies, and... they both looked so scared, that was what brought him back into action and he walked to them, his movements careful and slow as to not startle them, 

As soon as they both saw him dee made a noise of recognition and shakily continued to sit not ready to stand up and move, and Remus just ran over to Patton’s leg

Patton gently patted remus’s back and immediately went over to the little dee who was still very much shaking and without support, he carefully crouched down maneuvering Remus small hand into his own, so he didn't crush his little hand

“Hey little one, are you ok?” He asked voice soft and gentle, he was starting off gently and planning to guide them to the mind palace or carry them, then he would try to find out what happened, 

Dee looked up to him as he crouched in front of him “I’m good- I’m okay-“ he tried again, “I’m doing good-“ frustrated tears began to prick his eyes quickly, clearly not happy to be unable to communicate

“Hey hey hey- it’s okay,-“ he extended an arm to the kid in an attempt to comfort or soothe the younger deceit “are you trying to say you're not doing well?” 

Dee nodded carefully,

Patton hummed softly “is it ok if I pick you up Little one?” Dee nodded again and Patton did so gently, noticing how the smaller one curled up into his chest 

After a small moment his hand was pulled roughly, intending to get patton to pay attention to the other small one 

“I want to be picked up too!” Remus stated, almost offended he hadn't been offered to be picked up earlier,

Patton gave a soft laugh before picking him up as well, happy to notice the immedient beaming smile lighting up remus’s face, 

After a moment he took a small breath before speaking again “are you two ok with rising up? Or should we go back up the long stairs?” he asked 

Remus hummed “danger stairs!” he chirped

“Dee? Are you ok with the stairs too?”

Dee looked back up from where they had taken residence and nodded silently, he didn't want to rise up, it hurt his stomach, and even if the stairs did kind of scare him he was with dad now! He would be fine!

Patton nodded, and carefully adjusted them in his arms before heading up the stairs again, careful not to drop the two, after around 10 minutes they got up, normally it wouldnt of taken that long but remus, despite his best efforts couldn’t keep still and he really didn’t want to drop the two, when they reached the door he realized his stupid past self had closed the door so he had to ask Remus to open it, though Remus seemed happy to help, smiling giddily the whole time, 

And then finally, he was upstairs, he exhaled, “ok guys we’re here,”

Remus smiled wider before trying to get down and almost falling before Patton caught him and placed him down carefully extending his hand for the small Remus to hold onto, Remus smiled again before taking the hand and trying to wander off 

Patton huffed fondly “Remus, kiddo, you can explore In a little bit but right now we’re going to see Logan, do you remember Logan?” Patton received a nod and he smiled that he at least had that memory “good, we’ll go to him and then we’ll get dee to bed and then I’ll let you explore, how ‘bout that?” 

Remus huffed and pouted before eventually nodding “fine” Patton smiled as he looked from one of his kiddos to the other seeing how dee had already fallen asleep, he gave a silent chuckle before continuing down the hallway 

After only a moment or so he had finally reached Logan’s room, eternally grateful Remus didn’t try to go and knock on anyone else’s doors, he carefully let go of Remus’s hand only to feel Remus shuffle back to his leg, he knocked on the door and after hearing quite a bit of shuffling there emerged Logan staring at them all before pinching his temple and speaking

“What happened?”

——

Patton chuckled as Remus began to pull his arm again, as he was sitting with Logan, now finished explaining what happened in his presence luckily it wasn't a long story, though Remus was still impatient “dad!-“ Patton smiled softly at that -“you said when dee-dee fell ‘sleep and we went to Logan I could explore! And-“ he gestured to the sleeping form of dee curled up in Logan’s bed -“ he’s asweep! And -“ he pointed at Logan -“we met him! So can I finally explore?” remus asked pouting And stomping his foot

Patton sighed before looking at Logan “can you watch dee for a bit? When he wakes up I’ll make them both food,”

Logan nodded and Remus gave a cheer throwing his arm up in victory, Patton smiled softly, before Remus ran out of the room in a hurry since Patton wasn’t getting up fast enough “cya letter lo! I gotta go supervise” he walked towards the door before he gave a small wave and left the room,

After a moment he sighed as he realized he had lost complete eyesight of the little octopus 

“Rem! Little kraken?” he sighed again as he began looking 

———

Patton looked increasingly tired as he saw Logan walk in, hand in hand with dee, he still gave a smile at them as Remus struggled in his arms 

Remus’s eyes lit up when he saw dee, “dad! Dad! Can you put me down! Dee-dee’s here!” 

Patton huffed “do you promise not to try and go in the oven to see if you have yeast in your bones again if I set you down?”

Remus groaned clearly unhappy with the compromise “fine,”

Patton smiled tiredly before setting him down, Remus immediately ran towards dee and threw himself at dee into a hug almost taking them both down

Patton smiled as dee just laughed sleepily and wrapped his arms around remus

Patton looked from the sight back to Logan “Remus is an energetic kid,” he gave a small, tired laugh “he’s even wearing me out, though he’s a sweet kid,” he stated earnestly, “Logan now that i can watch them both can you find out how long they’ll be like this?”

Logan hummed “i will, but in the meantime you should get roman or virgil to help take care of the two of them,”

“Lo i don't need hel-” he cut himself off when he met logan’s eyes, he sighed “fine~ i will, thank you lo,” 

Logan smiled briefly before heading to his room 

Patton returned the smile before turning back to the two