#chexpost

So a lot to update on really, I’ll just use this post as like a diary entry. Today is david’s birthday, so I’m going to try and go visit his grave. Aside from that, we just had a root canal done (i was terrified along with most others so grayson fronted through basically all of it and i had my panic attack at home). So I’m already worried about that and the pain that comes with it, they only gave me 12 pain pills and I already needed one. Then there’s the fact that dad keeps telling us mom’s going to die within months to a year. It keeps upsetting me, even though gray tries to calm everyone about it...I’ve been researching how to figure out the death dates of parents through astrology, or around what age it’ll happen, and every single method I use keeps pointing to what I said - sometime in my 20s. Most being consistant with around the time I’m 28, which is when I’ll be experiencing my first Saturn return. It’s also a very short return, only a month or two if I remember right, so to me that’d make sense. It’s in my 8th house of death. Of course though, being the kind of person he is, he doesn’t believe in astrology or magic or any of that and won’t listen to me about it even though the doctor was wrong before (she’s lived years longer than expected). Speaking of magic. So when the whole going up to Maryland thing was going on, I figured I might try to use mind control to let them go, but from what I read I had to start small, so I tried it on a spider. And uh...maybe not my best idea. Especially since mind control doesn’t exactly fall under my area of expertise in magic. Apparently now there are GIANT fucking spiders popping up everywhere I go, and I’m really fucking hoping this is just some coincidense that’ll go away soon. There was one the size of the palm of my hand on my dad’s truck today when I had to go to the dentist and it scared the shit out of me. But anyways, I guess that’s all for now really. I’ll try to go back to sleep now since it’s 4:44am and I have to be up at like 8. Goodnight guys,