#cherry phan

“Hello?” A smooth voice greeted me through the receiver.

“Charlie, this isn’t a fucking joke.” I gritted my teeth, scrolling down my twitter in rage.

“What are you talking about?” He asked smugly, as I pictured him smirking at the other end of the phone, filling me with more rage.

“You fucking know what I’m talking about!” I shouted, thankful that Phil wasn’t home. “You need to delete all those fuck-”

“Listen, if you want talk about this, can we at least do it in person?” Charlie suggested.

I paused, caught off guard. “What do you mean?” 

“I mean exactly what I said. Can we do this in person?”

“Wh- Um. Okay.” My heart suddenly skipped a beat, much to my disgust. 

Wait, what did I just let myself in for?! Why did I say yes?! I knew we could’ve done this over the p- 

“Wait, I-” I protested.

“Great. So I’ll see you in 15 minutes? Phil isn’t home, is he?”

“No, but-…Charlie…”

“But what?” He questioned.

“I think I’ll come to you” I mumbled, so softly it was probably misunderstandable.

“Really?” I could feel the surprise that was probably on his face.

“I don’t care. I just want this over with as soon as possible.”

“Fine then.” His voice turned as cold as mine was. “See you in 15 then. Don’t bring Phil.”

“Why would I?!” 

“Because you can’t seem to spend a second without him!” Charlie hissed.

“Right, that’s it, I’ll-”

Suddenly, the phone went dead, as he hung up on me. Anger boiled up inside me, as I grabbed my jacket and keys, slamming out of the apartment and down the stairs. I jumped straight into my car, stabbed  the keys in the engine, and started driving as quickly as I possibly could. That little twat. I hated him sometimes.

I could barely concentrate on the road ahead, as my mind was so clouded over with Charlie. I never knew why he did this to me. Maybe he knew how much it fucked with my mind. Maybe he liked that.

I dodged the traffic, earning several middle fingers and horn beeps. But I didn’t care. I just wanted to get to Charlie’s as quickly as possible.

After a dangerously driven journey, I finally pulled up beside a small, narrow road, hidden beneath a bush of pine trees. I remembered it from mine and Phil’s early days, when we always used to visit him. I drove along slowly, wondering if this was even the right road or not, before I reached a house right at the end. I recognized the wolf door decoration almost immediately, mildly surprised he still had it all these years. 

I pulled up in his driveway, remembering that I was here for a bad reason. I slammed the car door, making sure he knew I was here. Oh, I’d make him know all right.

I stomped up the gravel path to the front door, knocking loudly. He’d better fucking be in.

I waited, staring at his dark curtains for a moment, before the door opened.

“Hey Dan.” Charlie greeted, half smiling as he stared at me through his thick-rimmed glasses, and I stared at his appearance, which I, for one, wasn’t expecting to be… how it was. His dark purple hair was slightly tousled, hanging lazily across his forehead as he ran a hand through it. He was wearing black skinny jeans, and an old dark blue checked shirt with a few buttons undone, as if he had dressed himself less than 5 minutes ago. I recognised that shirt. In fact…

“Is that Phil’s?” I frowned, my anger disappearing as I stared curiously at it. My eyes couldn’t help but trail in the direction of his slightly exposed chest.

“This?” He glanced down at it. “Ha. Yeah. Still hasn’t asked for it back. Don’t think he even knows I still have it.”

“Ah. When did he give it to you?”

“Erm… 2008, it must’ve been. And he didn’t really give it to me. He left it here.” He glanced up at me, his eyes expressing he wasn’t the icon of pure innocence, He’d had sex with my boyfriend, for fuck’s sake, and I wondered why this didn’t madden me right now.

“Oh, I see.” I smirked.  I trailed off, staring at the patterned shirt, decorated with a wolf pendant around his neck.

“So… come in.” He invited me in, shutting the door behind me.

“Oh yeah, thanks.” I smiled, walking into the living room.

“No, no… I was just upstairs. In my room. Come with?” He pointed up to his bedroom, and my stomach flipped. 

“Oh. Okay.” I gulped, following him up the stairs, my eyes gliding all around the decoratively pleasing surroundings, until he opened the already slightly ajar door, letting me in first.

“It’s a bit dark in here, isn’t it?” I peered around his room at the curtains drawn shut.

“Yeah. I like it better like that. Don’t open the curtains.” He raised his eyebrow, sitting down on his bed. I admired his room, breathing in the smoky scent of incense sticks and aftershave. His room was very pretty, I had to admit, as I stared through shelf after shelf of wolf posters, dream catchers, video games and pikachus. I wished I had a room like his.

Suddenly, my thoughts were interrupted by Charlie’s giggle. I swivelled around, to see him sprawled out on his bed with a grin on his face, staring up at me.

“What…?” I froze.

“Have you not forgotten why you’re here?” He raised an eyebrow, his dark eyes shining.

I remembered, and my jaw tightened. 

“Charlie…” I glared at him as he grinned cheekily. My mood changed like lightning.

“Oh come on, Dan. It’s just a bit of fun.” He turned to his laptop, the tab open in his Twitter interactions.

“It’s not a fucking ‘bit of fun’!! This is serious! If any of the fans found out, me and Ph-”

“Well maybe they should.” Charlie suddenly retaliated, surprising me.

“W-what?”

“Maybe they should find out. They have the right to.”

“What ‘right’ do they have to breach my privacy?! I’ve told you, I want to keep this relationship to myself.”

“But you don’t ‘just keep it to yourself, do you? You feel the need to deny the shit out of it. You act as if being with Phil, PHIL of all people, is the most disgusting thing in the world. How do you think that makes me feel?!”

“This has nothing do to with you!” I shouted. “That’s the whole point!”

“Excuse me?! I think it has a lot to do with me actually! I dated Phil too, you know.” 

“But that was in the past. It’s none of your fucking business anymore!”

“I think it’s very much my business. I have the right to say what I want about it!”

“No you don’t! This is between me and Phil. If I want to deny it, then I will. But I want you to stay the hell out of it.”

 “Shut up.” He growled, his voice suddenly low and intimidating. 

“I really don’t think you fucking appreciate what you have here. You have Phil Lester. Phil fucking Lester. You have the best boyfriend anyone could ever wish for, who loves you and cares for you. I never had as much as you did! But even then, I was grateful for what I had, and-”

“You think I’m not grateful?!” I shook my head, outraged.

“No, I don’t.” He spat, walking up closer to me. “Because whenever anyone asks… you completely fucking lash out at them. You make them feel like they’re in the wrong for even questioning it.  You compared dating Phil to drowning in a fucking volcano. Why would you feel the need to take it that far?!” His voice suddenly cracked. “I could kill for what you have right now. I’d be the proudest person ever to be in a relationship as beautiful as that. You have no idea, you really don’t. You have him. Who do I have?! I don’t have anyone anymore.” 

He’d really hit home, and it seemed it wasn’t for just me. He dropped down on the end of the bed with his head in his hands.

“Charlie…” I sighed, following after him and sitting beside him.

“No, go away. I don’t want you to see me like this.” He mumbled thickly, and made a noise that sounded something like a sob, although I couldn’t quite determine what it was. Despite my anger not even a few minutes ago, my heart broke at the sight of him crumpled up like this.

“I’m sorry…” I apologized softly, not really knowing what else to say. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“No…it’s not your fault. It’s me.” He sighed, shaking his head. “I don’t know, it’s just, whenever I see you and Phil together, I… well, I guess I’m jealous.” He admitted.

My heart pounded, and I swallowed, unable to speak. 

“Well how do you expect me to react to that?!” I thought out loud, before clamping my hands on my mouth. He paused, before staring up at me, mildly outraged. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I didn’t think! It just came out, and…”

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have said it. I know I shouldn’t be interfering like this. But… it’s when I see that I’m the one interacting with your fans more tha-”

“Excuse me?!” I gasped. 

Charlie bit his lip to stop himself from saying anything else, and stared down at the ground. “Sorry.” He muttered.

“I get thousands of interactions every day! You really think I have time to look through them all?!”

Charlie groaned loudly, putting his head back in his hands.

“What?” I asked, folding my arms.

“There you go again! Being ungrateful! You get thousands a day, so why not TAKE some time to look through them, read a few of them from fans who have taken time out of their day to talk to you, because you mean something to them.”

“Oh come on.” I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

“See!” He gestured, and turned to me, taking his hands away from his face and looking me straight in the eyes. Much to my sudden horror, my heart started racing.

“You really don’t know how  lucky you are. And not just because of Phil. You… you have the fans that I only dream of having. They’re the best people ever, and I know that for a fact. Oh, and holy shit do you have girls, and boys literally falling to your feet! It’s…” He left his sentence unfinished, as he chuckled and stared at the floor.

“It‘s what?” I prompted urgently, realizing I was sitting rather too close to him at this point, so I shuffled a few centimetres away.

Charlie noticed this before he continued his sentence, and shuffled back over, catching me in the middle of uncomfortable, confused, and actually pretty nervous.

“It’s no wonder.” He finished smoothly. “Don’t get me wrong Dan, but...” He was interrupted by his own chuckle again.

“I’m what?!” I prompted again, getting slightly agitated at his giggles.

“Very attractive, believe it or not.” He widened his eyes. 

My breathing hitched as I realized how close he was, his shoulder rubbing against mine. 

“Sometimes… it’s not always Phil I’m jealous of.” He shrugged, as if telling me that was the most normal thing in the world. “God, I felt weird saying that.”

“Don’t… feel weird.” I insisted, shocking myself. Fuck, I hated him. I hated him for doing this to me. I hated myself. 

He eyed me curiously, as I let my eyes relentlessly trail over his face, accompanied by a small amount of stubble around his cheeks, his eyes staring darkly into mine in the dim light blocked out by the curtains.

I broke the tension with a small laugh. “You’re… um… you’re not too bad yourself.” I commented, before the realization hit me. I just called Charlie of all people, attractive. 

Well, he is. I couldn’t help that. I didn’t care how unattractive his personality could be. It all came down to the one who spent every night scrolling through Instagram and Twitter selfies of him.

I disgust myself.

“Hm.” He chuckled.

“What?”

“Nah… it’s stupid…” 

“What, Charlie?!” I repeated.

“I was… just thinking… that for a second… it was actually like you cared about me…”

I froze. No. I couldn’t.

“What makes you think I don’t?” I blurted out before I could stop myself.

Shit.

The humour drained from his face. “What…?” He whispered, so low I could barely hear him.

I gulped. “I…” 

I couldn’t finish my sentence with his face so close to mine. I was instantly distracted by the urge to…

My thoughts were cut short by the sudden feeling of Charlie’s lips against mine. I felt my head start spinning with the intensely unfamiliar feeling, and I was completely clueless as to whether I liked it or not.

Much to my dismay, I automatically started to kiss him back, breathing in his addictive scent and sneaking an arm around his waist, our lips working together as if we had done this a thousand times before.

Not that I’d been imagining it over and over again.

Oh god, this is wrong. This is so fucking wrong. My thoughts screamed, and I could sense Charlie was probably feeling the same. Probably. I shouldn’t be doing this?! I should be at home, writing the script to a new video. Being Danisnotonfire. Not this strange monster Charlie had morphed me into. What was I even doing here?! 

We broke this kiss breathlessly, interrupted by the loud ringtone blaring out of my phone over the other side of the room.

“Oh god.” I groaned, reaching over, and unlocking my phone. Then, it hit me like a smack to the face