Trigger Warnings: major character death, attempted suicide

a/n: sorry in advance if this is ooc! this is my first time writing. thx for reading! hope you enjoy!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I just wanted to see you smile again.”

Kalim couldn’t remember the last time you truly smiled. It was just one devastating morning when life felt too dull to be true. You cried for a long time, and Kalim could only try and comfort you. Like any normal human being, he wanted to know why. Why you cried, why his love and joy was so upset.

You told him nothing, just waved off his questions like there was nothing wrong. But from that day forward, you never seemed to be the same. Sure, you smiled, you laughed, you acted like nothing was different, but behind the facade was someone else, someone broken, someone who choked back tears every night. And Kalim, as oblivious as he usually was, saw it all.

You were his lover, his partner, his one and only, so why wouldn’t you confide him? 

Wintergaten - Marble Machine. | Jack Stauber - Two Time | Caravan Palace - April | AylaKoi - Everything Stays (from Adventure Time) X Fallen Down (from Undertale, by TobyFox) 

The sun would be rising by now as the two found a bench to rest on as they took in the peaceful view of the park infront of them. It felt odd with how there weren’t anyone there.

But it was reasonable as to why considering it was, from what they could estimate to be, early in the morning from the orange sky that would be invading the baby blue sky as golden rays shot from the sun, letting the orange start to infect more of the sky.

It was a gorgeous sight, usually the two wouldn’t see such sights unless they were on the ground or went to a specific spot in this city of clouds. Honestly- they wouldn’t care. No. All they cared about was the life they had with Ar-

“euUGH NOTAGAINCHERRYHEL-”

Suddenly Arrow would nearly tip over from the bench the two sat on, his wings accidentally smack Cerwyn a bit, though thankfully regaining their balance with a relaxed sigh. Cerwyn would be concerned, yes, but would be relieved of the worry that washed over them as Arrow laughed it off with a soft chuckle.

“Well then, I shouldn’t of had tried that dark coffee, should I?” He pokes fun at himself as his wings fold around him, though sneakily scootin’ Cerwyn closer to him with one of his wings. 

(Insert a transition thats basically: Things get boring, so Arrow being bored as he is with Cerwyn starting to zone out, notices a forest nearby behind them, so they run into that forest, that and Cerwyn notices odd things happening to Arrow. Like how he starts to drag his foot every once in a while and looks like hes drained of energy every once in a while. Though Cerwyn notices that their also being a bit.. Odd themselves, like how they start to feel this faint weight in their chest like they felt their internal organs working and such, the feeling being less faint every time it happens. But hey, their focus is towards Arrow, so they simply brush off these oddities and go along their little date as Arrow’s positivity infects them yet again. The same positivity that they fell for that got them into dating them.)

(ignore the lighthouse in the image btw just imagine it being like the forest in the fanart I did of the upcoming scene where its just a lot of trees but the spot they stop at almost forms a circle of grass that doesnt have trees)

(Insert another transition where it goes from; Theyre walking around a forest splashing each other with clear puddles, jumping over mud, doing parkour on fallen trees and over bushes, climbing trees then gliding through whatever they could before Arrow snaps back to his consciousness. He feels something in him- Like his heart just stopped beating. He feels lile he's being drained, and yet it doesnt affect his body. Well, his body here that is. He realizes whats happening. He slows down, pausing in the middle of a romantic moment between him and Cerwyn, Cerwyn notices but the feeling of their lungs being more.. More noticeable slips into his mind, but is pushed back by the concern for Arrow that consumes them- Then insert the moment below.)

They felt a weight in his chest get heavier and heavier as they looked at Arrow’s eyes, who would distance his face a little from them.

“Aurora, dear?”

Cerwyn would cup his cheek, to which Arrow would look back with a devasted, oddly sorrowful look.

“I- Cerwyn, I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? For what?”

His gaze would fluctuate, bringing down their hand from his cheek down to his chest, then uses his other hand to cup Cerwyn’s cheek as his faint sorrowful, wistful expression scrunched into one of despair, and they’d witness the tears welling up in Arrow’s eyes as some of them flowed down his own cheek.

It was like watching a fragile mask crack, revealing the raw emotion beneath.

“I- I’m just so sorry,” Arrow croaked out before-

Cerwyn’s eyes would widen as they felt their clothes soak in the tears that dripped onto it, but they felt something more than that.

As Arrow pulled Cerwyn into a hug, the tip of their noses touched as their lips touched more closer than their noses did. Cerwyn would be frozen in the moment before he could pull Arrow closer, and so as they did, suddenly there’d be this weight in their chest, their lungs.

It was like they could feel something- They could feel the beat of their heart get and louder and louder until the last beat would explode in their ears.

Before Cerwyn could react to it, they could only glance at Arrow in the eyes before everything faded to the darknes-

They’d wake up in a cold sweat, the comforter of their bed being dragged down to the floor as one of Cerwyn’s legs reached out the bed a bit.

The light- ‘10:30 AM’ read the clock beside them as they glanced to the window, the sunrise starting to cast it’s rays upon the edge of the city, where they resided.

Then- They’d spot their reflection in the window a bit, oh.

Their hair was a mess that’s one thing, but where-

Something would catch their eye as they took a glance at the bedside table on the other side of the bed. It was a picture. A picture of themself and- Him. But then- It wasn’t just a picture, it was a painting of them both, and from what Cerwyn could see from it was done with water colours. But what would catch their eye would be the signatures near the left bottom corner of it.

The first signature they could spot would read ‘Cerwyn Collett,’ their signature with the handwriting being a ‘little’ outdated with how their current handwriting style is. But the second signature next to it would be, well, a bit blocky to say the least. Though it wasn’t necessarily perfectly blocky, the lines weren’t straight enough to make this be counted as blocky. But aside from that, it would read ‘ARLO, ARROW GRESLEY.” Huh. That- That’s familiar- Arrow. Why does that ring a bell even though they know-

Arrow.

Arrow-

Suddenly a rush of adrenaline would rush through their mind, dragging them out of the sleepiness that consumed them from the empty feeling of their stomach.

Grabbing their cardigan as they messily put it on, they’d look around the room frantically before pulling the curtains that covered the rest of the window, letting the rays of the sun kill any sort of shadows there. But- No, no.

He’s- He isn’t there. No, no no-

Looking under the covers, their closet, Arrow’s side, the living room, hell even his little art corner connecting to the living room, Cerwyn couldn’t find him.

Though with the little hope they had left in them, they’d walk to the little area where their front door was, which lead to an outside corridor. There would be a little shoe rack to the right that had all kinds of shoes, boots, slippers, crocs, etc, and to the left there’d be a basket holding two umbrellas.

The first one having a distinctive checkered pattern. The umbrella featuring a classic design with a curved wooden handle and a strap with a button to keep it securely closed with the fabric of the umbrella having a beige background with black, white, and red stripes forming a plaid pattern.

While the second one being a unique and artistic design, with it featuring a pattern that resembles stained glass, having various geometric shapes and vibrant colors including shades of red, purple, green, and yellow.

Huh. Not- not that much here, is there?

Cerwyn would reach for the handle of the door infront of him, letting out a quiet sigh.

As the air that swirled around them would then explore the hallway as Cerwyn looked around. It wasn’t too big but it wasn’t small either, it felt so vivid here with how each door you could see held a story behind them. Each being unique from one another. Though their thoughts would be cut short as they stepped on the mat below their feet. Snapping them out of whatever derealization they were experiencing with reality starting to sink in.

Everything felt. Heavy.

The empty, stale atmosphere started to set in as Cerwyn’s wings started to ease from puffing up, same with his hair as it died down in fluffiness. It also clicked in that gravity existed, hence why they’d start to straighten their posture. Though, the click of this thought would be louder.

The thought of Arrow.

Where- where is he?

Then other thoughts added to the weight of this thought.

If he wasn’t here- No, no. He would’ve left something, like a note if he ever went off to buy some food or go on a walk. And speaking of walks-

Walks, why does that- Oh. Oh.

The dream-

Suddenly a loud sound would blast in Cerwyn’s ears for a moment, paired with the sound of something shattering seconds after as they backed up a bit, wincing at the burst of noises.

As the noise died down, they’d be met with a pile of shattered sea glass, which looked to be a mug made out of said sea glass as they took a glance at it, piecing together that they might’ve knocked it onto the floor with their wings, seeing as they’re spread out.

And as they folded them back into an appropriate position to not cause further chaos, they’d quickly sprint towards where the source of the first sound came from, ringing repetitively in a soft cacophony of church bells. Which led them to their bedroom again. Then there it was, they’d walk over to the source of the noise, being a phone, their phone.

It was just an alarm. An alarm that was set to ring at 8:27 AM. Seems like they kept pressing the ‘ring later’ button while they were asleep. Sitting at the side of the bed, grabbing the phone, they’d unlock it after they had stopped the alarm from continuing to ring further.

Right when they unlock it, there’d be.. There’d be a lot of notifications from the messenger app they use to communicate with friends, family. Tapping on it, they’d be met with a flood of messages from his siblings, but the top recent message would be from.. From North? 

That's.. If it was Henry, they’d understand, but North? They hesitated a little, but they would give into their curiosity.

As they tap on it-

Suddenly their eyes widened, feeling their lungs more and more as each heart beat banged at their chest from the inside. The message was long, at least two paragraphs at best. But as a lump started to form in their throat, the only sentence they could process was:

‘The Hypothyroidism. His condition got to him, it was just this morning. I’m truly sorry Cerwyn. I hope that, grief doesn’t consume you as much as it does to us right now.’

Those words. The message was burned into Cerwyn’s mind as tears started to burn on their cheeks, as they laid their phone as gently as they could with the sanity they had to restrain themselves from causing more of a mess.

The world suddenly fell quiet for the first time in a while for Cerwyn. The most quiet it has ever been as the beat of their heart started to became louder and louder.

They’d slide to the floor as their wings folded around them, letting their head rest in their hands as tears slipped through their hands, dripping onto the floor and their legs.

The dream.

They couldnt tell whether it was a pure coincidence of the mind or if it was really him.

But either way, what ‘Arrow’ said in that dream, it rung in their thoughts.

Idea Note: The first part is the last time that Merlin and Morgan ever talk to eachother before Merlin dies with Gadwall, the second part is set in Morgan’s Speed Record day, specifically the 75th. (2013)

Mallard would glance down at the rails beneath her, somewhat disappointed, though looking back up with empty eyes at Merlin, who’d clear his throat slightly.

“But don’t worry about it, I’ll be able to visit here next week for another chat-”

“My crew heard that bombers may try to pass by here by that time,” Mallard suddenly cut off Merlin, breaking what stable eye contact she had left with the elder A4 pacific. “I’ve taken Gadwall’s anxiety into mind, I won’t mind if he truly needs you. Even if it..”

A pause, a pause that came with a sucked in breath afterwards.

‘Even if it does make the time we spend apart longer.”

Merlin was.. Hesitant on what to say next. Even if he’d open his mouth to say something, he’d have to shut it. To prevent the same loop of replies from Mallard from being elongated.

The two sat in a silence filled with guilt, disappointed, but mostly with a loss for words, just enjoying what company they had with each other until the silence would be slowly chipped away by the whispers that grew a bit louder the longer it went on.

Mallard, who’d notice the whispers growing louder and louder, looks to where it comes from, and it turns out it’d be workmen, Merlin’s crew and Merlin himself having a conversation, with the workmen seemingly being the ones who started it from what Mallard could guess from what she could hear.

As it died down she’d look back at Merlin, who now had developed a look of doubt in his eyes that stood out among his generally friendly looking face that he put on for the workmen.

Glancing to where Merlin had been looking, her face would flash with surprise as she spotted what he was looking at.

It'd be a little duckling, stepping into the view of both Merlin and Mallard, nearly tripping on the rails infront of Merlin as it tried walking over it, to which he'd soften his gaze at.

The young, dirtied duckling would slow down their pace as it started letting out peeps and soft quacks, perhaps calling out to it’s mother or siblings before speeding up to explore what was near it, walking up to Mallard’s bogie wheels before heading further into the shed.

It’d continue to quack and peep as it explored the rest of the shed before it returned with a slightly louder quack, earning a small chuckle from Merlin as it nearly tripped getting over the rails in it’s way.

Though Mallard on the other hand, would just keep watching with a look that started to reveal her interest in the duckling. Honestly, it reminded her of a specific engine-

“”

–

She’d suck in a breath as she entered the