#cheesefries

Wow. The response to my first post was overwhelming, I’ve had about... zero people, not a single soul actually, has read or even acknowledged the existence of my beautiful blog -- that I spent all of 45 minutes on. Congratulations, guys. You’ve ruined my dream of becoming Tumblr famous in a day...

But I digress -- today we’re talking about FEMININE HYGIENE PRODUCTS! (*men, everywhere, cowering in fear*)

Doesn't everyone just love, when a woman, takes it upon herself, to write about her experiences as a woman, even though there are a ridiculous amount of blog post, articles, awkward school health videos, and even telegrams (true story... probably) about the same thing?

No? Oh, then do I have news for you... it’s happening, sweetheart. Unfortunately, my mores code’s a little rusty, so you’ll just have to bear with me for the misspellings and grammatical errors that are my life.

(side note: I downloaded Grammarly and... game changer, I finally learned that it's "bear with me" and not "bare with me" - what a time to be alive.)

As many of you know, roughly once a month, a woman has their period and oozes blood out of their vagina for about a week. I probably could have found a better way to explain that, but you get the point. We are being "prepared" for the first 9-15 years of our lives for this exact moment. As if the countless pow-wows with our girlfriends, awkward conversations with our parents about "becoming" a woman, and a very cluttered Google search history, even helped us when we looked down one day and realized our khakis had somehow turned red.

All women have a preference when it comes to products. Some prefer pads, whether they have a fear of sticking something foreign up there or you're Edie Fitzgerald, from "We're the Millers", with an unfortunate shallow vagina. While others favor tampons, for their more sanitary feel and much quieter package removal, unlike pads, which feels like you're smashing a bag of chips, but in a bathroom. Some people don't wear either and use period underwear designed to absorb just as much as pads and tampons without the hassle, but I'm not a fan of, essentially, adult diapers.

I, on the other hand, am ecofriendly, but most importantly... low on funds, so buying a new box of tampons every month when I could be spending that money on cheese fries, is a no for me. So this month, when mother nature came knocking with my monthly “gift”, I decided enough was enough and spent the extra $20, over a box of tampons, to purchase a menstrual cup.

Personally, I picked the Saalt menstrual cup, size small, for no other reasons than that it was the cheapest ($33 at Target, but I just checked their website and it's only $29... that's just rude, Target.), the packaging was super cute, and the color was named Himalayan pink. I was skeptical at first since it promises to collect about 3 tampons worth of blood and that it wouldn’t cause any more discomfort than a tampon, but I needed to understand all the hype surrounding these things.

I didn't know how I was going to fit this weird silicone shot glass inside of me, but thankfully the packaging teaches you a bit of origami and how to shove, twist, and go. After a minute of struggles it finally clicked, literally, I doubled checked the seal and was good to go! It felt a little odd the first time I wore it but now I can't feel a thing, it's even better than a tampon. My flow is usually super heavy the first 2 days, so I did have to empty it about every 6 hours, which is actually AMAZING since I'd maybe get 2 hours from a single super tampon.

The removal was a bit odd and sort of painful, only the first time, but that was my fault since I didn't keep the cup fully collapsed and tried to pull it out fast when you're supposed to slowly wiggle it out, I don't like to listen to directions. Then I just rinsed it out, reinserted it, which was super simple this time opposed to the first, and went on my way.

I do think I should warn you about one thing that you never have to worry about with other products, the blood, EVERYWHERE. It completely covers your hand, so for a short period of time you look like you murdered someone, but just wash your hands and you're good to go. I'd say the only possible "negative" is that it's hard to change in a public restroom since not many people want to walk out of their stall and wash their blood out of a cup. However, you wouldn't have to change it in public as long as you plan your day accordingly, and if the public restroom is a private room you definitely can change it without any fear of someone walking in.

Basically, this is the best invention since sliced bread. (which by the way wasn't invented until 1928, less than a century ago, how did people survive without bread slicing machines back then...)

The cup lasts about 10 years and it actually supposed to help relieve cramps as compared to tampons, which can surprisingly cause your cramps to feel worse. Plus all the money I'll be saving not speeding that extra $10 a month on tampons, that's $1200 for the next 10 years, and not to mention the copious amount of pants, underwear, and bedsheets I've ruined over the years. The cup doesn't affect anything in your daily life either, feel free to swim, sneeze, and jump on all the trampolines you want with absolutely no leaks.

I highly recommend to everyone to make the switch, I swear it's the best decision I've made, and I'm excellent at making decisions so that's really saying something (lol if only).

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk -- that is actually my blog, but basically is just a place for me to have endless conversations with myself. If I was a real blogger, I'd give you a schedule of my postings but I don't want to start our relationship off with a lie, so see ya next time.

xx

T