#checking in.

personally,  i do think countess misses who she was  !  but it doesn’t necessarily mean she wants to be that person again. she misses how it felt to be young, naive, and vulnerable. she misses how safe she felt with rudy  &  natacha,  and how they essentially whisked her away into this glamorous world where she could be in love ( with a woman and a man,  which was taboo at that time )  where she could be part of a world she always found herself fascinated by.  she’ll always be softened by the era.   however,  she’s very much happy with the person she’s become.  reinventing herself was the only way she could wake up in the morning without associating herself with the loss of rudy  &  natacha.   she dyed her hair a pale blonde color and separated herself from the light of rudy valentino’s love.  she was drawn by the darkness because it was all that could fill what emptiness she felt without the presence of her first great love in her life.   marrying james was the start of this dark path she took towards abandoning elizabeth and becoming the countess, hardened by her loss and coping through murders. 

being with james gave her stability and a platform to kill. marrying him  gave her luxuries and comfort, as well as an opportunity to explore the darkness she housed. she didn’t start killing people because she was a vampire – she started killing people because she fell into a downward spiral and kind of snapped…lmao.  if i’m correct,  she had her sadistic tendencies before she found out rudy was alive at that church.  being with rudy kindles a softness within her but being without him drives her to a very dark, dark place where she feeds off human suffering and actual humans. that’s why she was nonchalant when she first caught james march killing a man in their hotel.   * also killing people soon became a necessity though and that’s when countess became cleaner about it, i.e her strategic marriages to remain the sole owner of the cortez,  killing multiple husbands for their money,  feeding herself and building a convoluted torture chamber.    

@mixlyra

The unexpected confession causes Lyra to pause in her spinning, eyes wide as she practically wheels herself back around to face Medusa, finger probing and nitpicking the skin of her bottom lip, as though incredibly conflicted about the next few words that she was thinking of saying next.

“I like you too–but not in that way.” The younger mumbled emphatically. “I mean, you’re pretty and all, and you have nice eyes and a great, great smile–but..but aren’t you dating someone?” Confusion fluttered across Lyra’s face, her features a mask of clueless innocence as her finger darted to scratch behind her ear. “And besides, I think I still like boys better than girls when it comes to romantic shit.” The younger hitwoman squatted on her seat precariously, toes curling, eyes flickering rather disinterestedly. “I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings though–” A faint tinge of concern bleed through her voice, as though she was truly worried about the present situation they’d found themselves in.

Unless Lyra had–as always, read the meaning of the situation wrong of course, which in all honesty, she had most likely did, though embarrassment was not something that came easily to her due to her rather clueless nature of everything else in the world. It came with being a blank sheet of paper and amnesia, she supposed.

lyra had made her laugh after a shitty day, and for that she got a compliment. truly, if medusa had been drinking anything, she would’ve spat it out because lyra said something so out of left field that it was hilarious. but instead she settles in her seat and plays with the corner of the folder that should contain her next assignment. she doesn’t bother to read it yet.