#chatty nemo

Discord!!

So, I am FINALLY setting up Patreon and Discord and all that jazz to becoming a professional erotica writer 8D if you’re interested in keeping tabs on my work and keeping in touch with me as I work, this is and will be the best way of doing so 8D

However, I want to acknowledge that Rule 63 clearly appeals to a lot of fans too, and I think they should be allowed to write/read it. So, let’s discuss the etiquette with writing this sensitive subject Item 1, tag it, so people who don’t like it can block it. Item 2, Rule 63 tends to come in one of two flavors: There’s “genderbend” or otherwise temporarily rendered “the opposite sex” and there’s “always a girl/boy.”

For “genderbend” or temporary changes... You’re changing your character’s genitals, but you’re not actually bending their ‘gender’... (Or maybe you are, but that’s a different matter entirely). For the majority of “genderbend” fic out there, the characters’ pronouns stay the same, only their genitals change, and the effect is reversed by the end of the fic, usually after a sex scene. If you’re writing one of these, you’re inherently playing with gender. And if you take that lightly, make sure you tag it that way because there’s a not insubstantial portion of the population for whom gender is a VERY personal and important part of their identity. There’s a BIG difference between “X wakes up ‘a girl,’ has a panic attack, calls the medical/magical fix-it character, and the whole fic is trying to manage their dysphoria and find a way to reverse it” and “X wakes up ‘a boy,’ decides having a dick is #cool and is gonna go sex-up her girlfriend.”  I can think of audiences for both of these fics -- there may or may not be overlap between them -- but if a reader goes in expecting one and gets the other.... Writers, be THOROUGH in your tagging. Please.

For “Always a girl/boy” I think we, as a fandom, have phrased this tag in this way solely to distinguish it from the previously mentioned, temporary status fics. This is about a character whose assigned gender is ‘opposite’ what their canon assigned gender is, and they identify that way. The fact that ‘opposite’ is already a misnomer, it’s pretty clear why people are upset by this phrasing. So... perhaps the simplest solution is to instead start tagging these “Afab and cis” or “Amab and cis.” And hey, it’s actually fewer letters!  Additionally, it is my understanding that the majority of these fics are “afab and cis” not amab. And that this is simply because there is a dearth of fleshed-out, female characters in fandom spaces. It’s not unreasonable to want to write about female characters without having to define your characters from whole-cloth based off of side-characters with 2 lines and 40 seconds of collective screen-time. 

If it is accepted and encouraged to recast white characters as black or brown -- or to make canon straight characters bi/gay/ace because the representation doesn’t exist, then it should be reasonable to want to recast male characters as female. 

THAT SAID, do NOT expect or demand trans or nonbinary folks like those fics, or even read them at all.

Do not EVER tell someone “we only pretend to like you” or “we’re faking that you’re our friend.” NEVER EVER EVER do this. Just fucking DON’T. It’s NOT funny. This is a VERY real and VERY common fear, especially for people with anxiety or who grew up non-neurotypical.

We know we’re a little odd, that we don’t quite fit in and sometimes the rough edges of our personality can rub people the wrong way. But when you say this, even in jest, you make us question every action we’ve ever made towards you and everyone else.

If you ever do this, you WILL ruin someone’s day. Likely, you’ve just ruined their month. DON’T do this. 

And to anyone who has been told this or something like this, your ‘friend’ is GASLIGHTING you. It hurts, and I know you’re scared and upset when it happens, and you feel more alone than ever, but the soonest you can, you need to cut that person out of your life, because they will do this kind of shit again and again to get what they want.

Haula - Didn't miss a game, but only because there were like... six off days between games 

Glendening - Out 2 to 4 weeks with a hand injury

Geno - Missed three weeks and change and 13 games 

Schmidty - Got back Thursday, missed three weeks and change as well 

Eberle

Dumoulin

Martinook 

I was out of IR space, so I dropped them, Dumo’s already back, but I think Eberle and Martinook are still out

MacKinnon was DTD between games, but didn't miss any real time

Bryan Little went DtD, never revealed why, and he came back that next game, probs just a cold or something