#charge 2

I had to adjust the ‘pre-set goals’ because I am not going to be able to walk 10k steps a day. I set my sleeping schedule, my weight goal, how many steps I wanted to walk a day (6k) how many flights of stairs (15) and I figured that even if I just used it as a rough guide it’s still hella cool.

THIS FUCKING THING HAS CHANGED MY LIFE.

I am not kidding. You know how sometimes you think... shit, im’ really bad at this! but then you have depression so you think you are bad at all things anyway, and it’s not really THAT bad because it’s just your brain being a dick?

I thought that about my activity. I knew I wasn’t doing a LOT of moving around but I wasn’t... too concerned. 

Let me fucking tell you something - when you look at the app and you see that you didn’t MOVE for 5 HOURS once you got home, you start to realise pretty fucking quick that maybe things ARE as bad as you thought. 

I check this thing CONSTANTLY. 

I check my sleep EVERY MORNING before I even get out of bed:

I sleep more than I thought - I am awake or restless through the night though, which might be why I feel so tired all the time. 

HOWEVER, my sleep is about 92% quality sleeping, which means that as far as sleeping is concerned... I’m doing not bad at all!

The thing that I thought would help the most was the breathing exercises... used it once. It’s a great feature - it has timed breaths, and rather than rely on you looking at the watch, it gives a soft silent buzz against your arm. It means that you can close your eyes and just concentrate on the motions. I used it once, I did like it, and it DID calm me down. It comes with a 2mins or 5 mins option. It’s NOT really for anxiety though, more of a ‘cool down’ after exercising, but it helped me. 

But here is the kicker. I use the STEPS, the ACTIVE MINS and the STAIRS... 

ALL THE DAMN TIME

Thats right. After the first week where I was mostly just looking at my stats like.... what the actual fuck, Robyn, moss moves more often that you do...

I figured the best way to do something about it... was to do something about it. And you know what? I’ve been actually DOING IT. 

Monday I figured out that the best way to change was to change. Tuesday I went on a REAL WALK OUTSIDE, and wednesday I mostly complained about the burning in my thighs. I’ve not hit my goal today of 6k, but I’m not too worried about that as it was my day off, and mostly I’ve been just doing housework. 

Any walk over 20 mins registers automatically on the fitbit as ‘exercise’ and not simply ‘moving’ which is really nice to see when you think you haven’t done a lot. I’ve been using my 30 min lunch break to walk around the area where I work, and it’s been getting my heart rate really spiking!

the goal is to get into the Cardio or Peak zones. I check this a lot - some days I feel like my heart is bursting out of my chest. Yesterday, after my lunchtime walk, I was actually sweating - you can see I was in the ‘cardio’ part there - not for long, but long enough for it to feel like a workout! 

I’ve also added ‘beginners squat’ and ‘beginners ab crunches’ challenge to my daily routine - it’s not hardcore AT ALL - 20 a day, then 30, then rest, then 20, 30 and 40. I was resting yesterday - so today I was back to 20 of each. I also added in matching reps with very tiny pink weights my mum had from donkeys ago before she was in the wheelchair - I am doing the ones that look like you are pulling a lil speedboat engine start-up thing, and one that raises the arms so you look like a T. I’m sure these have names. The T one is the hardest for me, I have TINY WEAK arms and wrists, like, I’m not even kidding. 

Anyway.

You know what’s weird? I’m actually enjoying this. It’s not so hard that I feel overwhelmed with it - I’m going at a really slow pace, but I can SEE everything I do, and see how it’s affecting me. Not in my body - but in the things I can’t see, like steps, heart rate, distance and calories. 

I know that if I was going harder, with more, I’d hurt too much and stop, like I did on Wednesday when my legs were killing me. But by going on a walk at lunch, and making sure I climb 15 flights of stairs a day (its hard, but you get a lil fanfare on the watch when you complete it and it makes my day) I have started to FEEL BETTER about myself.