#character sortings

We absolutely love these movies, and we are absolutely thrilled to sort them, we hope you enjoy! -Abigail and MoMo 

Charles Xavier/Professor X: Ravenclaw 

Charles is the epitome of acceptance; he doesn’t care if you have an 11th toe or two heads, he thinks you are wonderful just the way you are. He is also very curious and wants to learn how each special mutant’s powers work. He spends countless years researching mutations and all sorts of different things, proving his drive to learn. This makes Charles a Ravenclaw!

Scott Summers/Cyclops: Gryffindor

Scott is undoubtably a huge rebel. If someone wants him to do something, he (most of the time) really doesn’t want to, but if it means saving the day, he will agree in the end. He’s always extremely brave, and uses his powers even though he doesn’t have very much confidence in them. He takes Charles’s car and goes to the mall without even thinking, wanting to “share a new experience with Kurt”. Much like his late brother Alex, Scott has to be a Gryffindor!

Bobby Drake/Iceman: Hufflepuff 

Bobby will do ANYTHING to protect his friends, even if it means giving up his life. He loves his friends and a lot of the people he meets, and is very accepting of mutants, no matter how dangerous their abilities could be. We see this in earlier movies, as he pursues a romantic relationship with Rogue, who can’t share any physical contact with him (or else he could die), but he loves her so much that it doesn’t matter to him. He does his best to protect the people he loves, and so he has to be a Hufflepuff!

Warren Worthington III/Angel: Slytherin

Angel is a very difficult character to sort because he jumps around a lot and is played by multiple different people. He is first seen cutting off his wings in the bathroom, which I would think is ambition; his goal is to be accepted and to not let anyone know about his wings, which he believes are an embarrassing feature, and so he is so ambitious he’s willing to cut of his own wings. But as he grows up he starts to understand and accept his mutation, and is frustrated by his father’s attempt to encourage him to remove his mutation. But, in the other timeline, he is also Slytherin: he is very self-preserving and forces Nightcrawler to fight to save his own life. He loves glory and attention. So Angel has to be a Slytherin!

strickler is a badger who works toward the long-term good of one community--changelings--while also dehumanizing the hell out of them because that's what people are taught to think about changelings, including changelings themselves. and he can't do what he does with the humans, playacting at being a beloved and helpful citizen of his community because he can pretend for a little while that he's not working toward their deaths.

with humans it's all Good Fuzzy Community Feelings now; with changelings he has to ignore their pain, perpetuate their abuse, commit atrocities against them now, and he can't fucking handle it. so he shuts it off. he can work for 'the good of all changelings,' but he can't look individual changelings in the face and care or it will destroy him. he's a badger who's been so thoroughly broken as a person, who relies so utterly on cognitive dissonance to keep living, that he looks like an idealist--a horrifying one--and it fucks me up. it fucks me up so bad.

it's also what makes his arc in s1 so compelling to me, because it's the story of him being shoved out of the status quo and unbreaking. his horror and reluctance at realizing jim is the trollhunter, that he's going to be forced to dehumanize him; the nasty shock of both his lives crashing into each other in a way he can't cognitive-dissonance away any longer; the wakeup call of losing one of his communities after how he's treated them for so long because he taught them to dehumanize him too; the life-changing experience of having someone stand up for him by affirming his humanity for once... fuck, man. fuck.

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Philio

philio is 100% an exploded lion primary. with a REALLY LOUD exploded badger model, but he's definitely not a badger. for one thing because he doesn't seem inclined to dehumanize anyone, even the undead; for another, he's absolutely willing to let people get hurt for the sake of the cause (including himself). 

i briefly considered bird for him, because he values the test so much as an external thing that shows you who really are, but given everything else about him and his themes i'm thinking probably not. he’s all about immovable, rock-solid certainty in his cause, and any attempt to reason otherwise with him rolls off him like oil off a duck’s back. 

another interesting thing is that on the surface his morality seems to be fairly obvious ‘be kind do good help everyone...’ but when you look at it closer, it’s a little bit to the left. the actions that lower or increase his approval are actually really hard to predict until you’ve played it a few times, and have made an effort to pay attention to his actual goals and morals. otherwise, so much of the time his opinion just seems like it’s contradicting itself. 

this could be a birdy thing--building his systems around logic, just maybe not the logic you’re expecting--but the way he goes about it also seems very lion-flavored. he doesn’t explain the underlying systems well, and he certainly doesn’t seem willing to change them; he just says things and expects other people to understand, end up at the same conclusions he did, and act on it. he comes across to me as a lion with a bird model, but instead of the classic--using it to replace his intuition because he doesn’t trust it--he uses it to convince other people that he’s Right, and explain to them how to follow his morals. except he’s, uh. not great at doing that! because he leaves out some pretty critical factors in his logic! it’s all so self-evident to him!

and my GOD will he judge you if you don’t follow his morals. on the flipside, no matter how far you’ve gone against them, the moment you turn around and start going The Right Way he’ll be completely fine with you again. which... on the surface it’s almost like he models bird, only it’s how he thinks everyone else should act, and in some ways it’s kind of admirable: he believes it’s never too late to turn back and start doing better. except that for him, the emphasis isn’t on so much changing your system; it’s on whether you were secretly a good person all along and just had to dig down beneath surface-level shittiness to reveal it. it’s REALLY unsettling. 

(side note: this is by his standards! sometimes those standards are 'willing to do morally dubious things, in this case shoot a willing victim, to reach the goal you’ve set yourself on when there's absolutely no other way. but while refusing to kill unwilling people or do harm otherwise.' hell, that's how you get the best ending. it’s also entirely possible that he just really wants kirell to live, hence the contradiction; he doesn’t judge you or show any disapproval if you can’t bring yourself to kill him. either he’s working off a logic system here that i still haven’t quite figured out, which leans more bird, or he’s a lion who goes with his gut when it comes to what he thinks is right and therefore contradicts himself a lot.)  

the secondary, now... the secondary is harder.

initially i thought he was a self-hating snake secondary with a lion model, but now i'm not so sure? he values truth and authenticity above all else, but a lot of the language he uses and the way he approaches it feels very... burned snake who's consciously choosing to tie their own hands behind their back, and forgo their masks, because they think that's the right thing to do. he's really, really frustrated by people not believing him, even when he's baring his intentions as much as he possibly can--them being suspicious of him because he’s trying so hard to convince him he’s being genuine, even. this might be a lion thing, or it might be ‘oh come the fuck on, i burned my snake already, what more do you want from me?’ talking. 

a point that seem to lean in favor of lion: the fact that he’s so oblivious to the fact that people will be freaked out by his sheer frankness, especially about his motives and the things he’s willing to do for them. he realizes he’s distressing kirell by inviting her to kill him for her test, and is just like ‘oh. i’ve upset you, haven’t i. sorry about that (offer still stands, though).’ i feel like a self-hating snake secondary would probably be more aware that people could be upset by too much honesty about something like that, instead of it just not occurring to him... but it might also be that he’s neurodivergent and relies so much on masks to socialize like a ‘normal’ person. when he doesn’t have them available because he’s refusing to use them, he doesn’t know what’s appropriate, or how to tell that it’s not going over well, until the signs are obvious enough for him to pick up on them.

another point that initially seems to lean lion, but seems more snakey on closer inspection: throughout the game there’s only one part i can think of where he outright lies about something, and he’s brutally honest about some things, but at other times he’s perfectly willing to be cryptic, leave out information, and work with ulterior motives (benevolent though they may be). you might read that as a particularly slippery lion being selective about what parts of the truth they choose to emphasize, but i think the major thing that makes me lean burned snake is how he behaves in the bad endings. 

if you turn out to be a piece of shit, on the last day he gets blisteringly sarcastic and passive-aggressive, and taunts you with things like ‘oh, who, me? not like you very much? no no no, of course not, where would you get that idea. :^))))’ that kind of spiteful delight in playing with the truth reads a whole lot more to me as a hurt, furious burned snake, bleeding through the iron control they normally have over their masks, than a pissed-off lion. which REALLY says something about the sheer strength of that lion primary, because holy shit. 

...you know what? yeah, snake. i’m gonna call snake on this one.

so i started to write up a list of ocs i've sorted (or am in the process of sorting), and then i remembered i have a Fuckton of tales of arcadia ocs in particular, oops. so! they get their own post!

under the cut and in no particular order:

[[MORE]]

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Liyen: horrifically exploded badger primary, with an unhealthy snake model; bird or badger secondary, one modeling the other.

Aurax: DOUBLE LION.

Schommag: either burned snake primary with a bird model, or bird with snake model; bird secondary with snake model.

Zand: double snake, both burned to a crisp by her core damage (although her primary was pretty burned already).

Farid: either lion badger, with a badger primary model to cover for his burnt-to-shit lion, or double badger. he's a sweet boy but i'm sorry to say i could absolutely see him dehumanizing people.

Tanis: lion badger with a DEAFENINGLY LOUD badger primary model, holy shit. primary leans far more toward exploding than burning at pretty much all times, which can become absolutely terrifying depending on the au despite her gentle demeanor.

Padoun: lion or bird primary, badger secondary. i'd say badger primary, except i can't see him dehumanizing anyone.

Gostra: probably a snake secondary. either a) a real dickhead exploded lion primary, or b) an exploded snake primary who models exploded lion as part of his inferiority-superiority complex. if the latter, he has no People not so much because he's guarded as because it's vanishingly rare for him to meet someone who registers as a person to him at all lmao

Gryphus: bird primary, either snake or bird secondary.

Krosil: without a doubt, double badger. a grouchy, sardonic, long-suffering one.

Endea: either exploded snake primary or bird modeling such, performing exploded lion. having a hard time pinning down her secondary... prrrrobably snake? whatever it is she's manipulative as fuck and has no issue with lying lmao

Tátika: snake lion with a burnt ass primary. their moms, Drachä and Nelke, are both very loud snake lions so it tracks

Gaurom: inconclusive, was probably either a badger primary or a bird modeling one (leaning the latter) before having her free will taken and most of her personality destroyed. maybe a bird secondary? needless to say both are Extremely Fucking Burnt.

Oryalv: either a double badger with an exploded primary, or a lion badger with a burned or muzzled one. poor motherfucker just wants to use his bookkeeper badger to do good for society, and instead he gets endless piles of backbreaking useless busywork while never really getting anywhere or helping anyone.

Korthec: double snake, with a very nasty exploded primary.

Rahasa: double snake, exploded primary.

Praust: lion or bird primary, maybe snake secondary? the latter feels model-y, though.

Sute: BIRD SECONDARY, badger or snake primary. kind of leaning snake but who knows.

Johannes: bird snake whose crippling depression has left him burnt on both counts. someone help him (sute is trying)

Grir: oh god i have no idea

Tareto: VERY ANGRY SNAKE LION

Mellus: extremely chill lion bird.

Stennet: either snake lion or double snake, with a STRONG badger primary model.

Eil: badger lion. a terrifyingly unhealthy, traumatized, and violent one.

Fellion: snake badger, with badger primary model.

Vöender: horizon lion snake (a nice little reversal if stennet is a snake lion).

Tinker: snake bird without a doubt.

Silas: snake primary that's simultaneously burnt and exploded all to hell, snake secondary that spends the majority of its time in neutral.

Higget: snake badger. a very frightening but generally benevolent one.

Lachlan: chaotic bird lion, bird snake, snake lion, or double snake, who is having a blast at all times.

Melody: double lion or lion badger, with some bird secondary modeling.

Peter: DOUBLE BIRD, insufferable asshole please god peter can you live one second of your life without something to prove

Valiyit: either double bird, or lion bird with a LOUD bird primary model.

Even: snake bird modeling double bird.

Belzer: dumbass modeling idiot, poor boy. burned bird primary, secondary is so burned as to be inconclusive.

Zenith: snake lion, and an immature one on both counts.