#chapterhouses

If you have read my blog at all, you can probably guess that I like Doctor Who. One thing I really like about it is how deep its lore goes. If it isn't onscreen, it'll be in the audios, or the books, or the webmovies, or the comics, or this one really obscure out-of-print novel by Lawrence Miles that isn't even on the Wiki and can only be bought for the price of one (1) human soul. I'm exaggerating slightly here, but not much. The bad thing about that is, it gets to the point where things are really very hard to explain to folks outside the fandom. Heck, it's hard to explain to folks inside the fandom. Here, however, is the quick-and-dirty version of where baby Time Lords go to school.

When your average Time Lord (or indeed Time Lady) turns eight, they are taken to see the Untempered Schism, or as I like to call it, the Ripped Trousers of Rassilon. They gaze into the Time Vortex. Some go insane, some are inspired, some run away, etc. etc. Incidentally, remind me to tell you all about how Time Lords are basically Cthulhu in funny robes.

Anyway, after these children are scarred for life or whatever, they are sent to the Time Lord Academy, where they are put in a house. It's a bit like Hogwarts, except the student gets to choose where they go. My sister tells me it's like Divergent. I'm sure that means something to some of you, so let's go with that. Here are their options:

Prydonian: The most influential chapter, politically. Known for producing more Presidents than any other house. Also known for producing more runaways than any other house. They tend to be brash and headstrong. The Doctor and the Master are Prydonians. They wear red and orange. It was founded by Rassilon, aka the Lovecraftian Thomas Edison with a Label Maker.

Arcalian: The science nerds. Second most important chapter. They like to spend all their time locked in a library, reading old records of council meetings to bring up at the new council meetings. When they aren't doing that, they like to experiment with forces beyond the ken of man. I am probably an Arcalian. They wear green and brown and other earth tones. Founded by Omega, aka Rassilon's Ex-Boyfriend Stuck in Antimatter World.

Patrex: Artsy weirdos who nevertheless get a majority of the stuff on Gallifrey done, probably because they have more or less all the creative thought. They do paintings but also they invent time-traveling nanobots that can fly up your nose to mind-control you. Third-most influential chapter. They wear heliotrope and yellow which is a rather eye-burning pairing for the most artsy house. Founded by the Other, aka Possibly the Doctor Who.

Scendles: Constantly broke. They spent all their money just getting into politics. They're the hard-working backbone of Gallifrey, deeply pragmatic and efficient. They wear tan, pale gold, and cream. They were founded by Pandak, aka Grover Cleveland, Vampire Slayer (So called because he was President on at least two separate occasions).

Cerulean: Filthy plant-touchers. They just go out and... touch plants! Gross, right? They're tolerated because they're very good caretakers, so they're more or less the ones who grow the new baby TARDISes. Based on the Green Party. They wear blue. Founded by Lazuline, aka That Hippie.