#chapter time

Finally releasing some of this 2 year old fanfic I wrote about Ahsoka becoming Petro’s master? It can happen! It took an embarrassingly long time for Ahsoka to put the words he wasn’t saying together with everything he was projecting in the force. The nervousness and the hope and the fears, and all his “you see, I think, we could uhmm”s. The way he stood at an overly formal distance, the way his fists were clenched at his sides.  It was like a poor abused door finally being pushed after she’d been yanking on the handle for a minute.

“You, wait, what?” Ahsoka asked, eyes growing slightly wider in muted horror. This wasn’t happening, this couldn’t already be happening right?

In front of her, standing tall with his chest puffed out as far as possible, was Petro. Nervous, tense, Petro. He looked away for a split second before looking her dead in the eyes. “I’d like to be your Padawan, if you’ll, if you’d be willing to be my Master. Master Tano.”

For a split second the universe seemed to tilt on its side as Ahsoka pushed her own giddiness and fair amount of panic back behind her mental walls. Be a Master. Be someone’s Master? Having just accepted her own Knighthood a short two months ago, Ahsoka had not been prepared to even consider being someone’s Master. She is-she was basically a Padawan! A kid! She’d just had her eighteenth birthday a week ago. Ahsoka Tano was not prepared to be someone’s Master. There was an odd sort of buzzing in her head, similar to the feeling of uncertainty she’d felt the first time she’d faced off with Grievous. Something in the force clanging away about her fate and completely unheard over her own flood of emotions.

“Petro, I am glad that you think so highly of me and that you think I would make a good Master,” Ahsoka started, desperately trying to pick the right words, “I’m just not sure that I’m prepared to take on a Padawan yet.”

His entire face seemed to crumble as he begged, “I don’t care that you’re a new Knight, a lot of new Knights take Padawans and do fine! Knight Offee took on Zonder last month and they are already being sent on missions!”

Ahsoka somehow stopped herself from blurting out that Barriss was about twelve times the Jedi she was, and had been apprenticed herself for much longer than Ahsoka had. Barriss being promoted to the rank of Knight and taking a Padawan made sense. Barriss actually knew something about it whereas Ahsoka was still coming to grips with her new responsibilities. It was like saying that since she and Master Yoda were both Jedi that Ahsoka could even hope to have his abilities.

Obi-Wan had once laughed, explaining that she was from a strange lineage where everyone was Knighted for deeds over taking trials. Anakin had immediately delighted in telling her that she could expect to have a Padawan forced (I mean, assigned!) to her soon enough. They’d all laughed good naturedly and she’d almost forgotten all about it. After all, yes taking a Padawan on wasn’t required but it was rather implied in their oath to the Order at large. Ahsoka had felt ready when they’d asked her if she was prepared; she’d been sure at the time that she could handle Knighthood and all its responsibilities implied or explicit.

Ahsoka was not prepared to handle a Padawan. A Padawan who would be learning things from her. Learning what? How to be late to meetings? How to talkback? Her heart thumped hard and she forced her body to actually listen to the more logical side of herself. Focus on the way your feet push into the ground and give him an answer already!

“Yes, she did, but I am not Knight Offee.” Ahsoka spoke as kindly as she could, willing him to understand and back away from this terrifying conversation.

“Is it because you’re young? I don’t care! You’ve seen a lot of battles, and I know you’ve helped a lot of people!” Petro’s nose was scrunched up as he waved his hands emphatically. His whole body telling half of the story. “I know that I’m stubborn, and I probably show off too much, and I can talk too much, but I can learn. I promise I would listen!”

“Petro, I promise you this,” Ahsoka crouched in front of him and placed her hands on his shoulders as much to calm him as to ground herself. “I am not saying no because I don’t think you would make a good Padawan. I am saying no because I am not ready to teach yet.”

“But, you teach us all the time.” He all but whined, his eyes searched desperately and Ahsoka felt a gentle push in the force. A request to understand and she tried to send it back as gently as she could.

“Yes, but that’s a group of younglings learning basic things. Teaching a Padawan is…it’s very different to me. Honestly I’m scared that I would be a bad Master.”

“You’d be the best Master!” Petro’s indignation on behalf of her honor was sweet.

It warmed something inside her, helping to loosen the knot behind her ribs.

“I’m glad you’re confident about that, but I’m not yet. I’m sorry Petro I’m just not ready.” Ahsoka watched his face carefully as he glared at the floor. After a few moments his expression became thoughtful, and then hopeful again.

“Well, I’m only eleven,” He started, “and I haven’t had my Initiate Trials yet. So maybe, maybe by the time I take them, you could at least be there? Just to think about it!”

For a moment Ahsoka considered just telling him no; to try and get him to take his trials when he thought he was ready. Not to wait just because he wanted to be her Padawan. Then she thought of herself at thirteen, alone after her clan had been separated as each member was chosen. Everyone but her. How she had passed her trials. How she had asked Master Plo if he could, maybe just sort of, consider being her Master. The hurt and disappointment when he had refused, even though she understood why he couldn’t. Except this time she was the Jedi Knight, and Petro stood with his back straight and chin held high even as his hands shook.

“Just to think about it, let me know when your trials are coming up and if I can be there I will. I will think about it Petro,” Ahsoka paused and gave a small smile as he beamed at her before continuing seriously, “This only means that I am thinking about it, not that I have said yes. If someone else asks to be your Master, you must give them full consideration as well. I may still feel that I can’t take you on even afterwards, or maybe by then you won’t want to be my Padawan. Let’s wait until then alright?”

Petro still had a wide smile across his face as he stuck his hand out for a trader slap, “It’s a deal Master Tano!”