#chapter 18.2

18.2 - ttam

“You should go meet out more people, Jungkook-ah,” Jimin mentioned in passing as he tapped away on his phone and replied to the invitation of his same-aged friends to drink right after new year’s countdown.

He was lying down on Jungkook’s bed. It creaked silently to his weight when he shifted. Let his arm dangle over the bed’s edge to get Jungkook’s attention who busied himself and tinkered with his newly bought music equipment.

He could feel Jungkook’s determination peaking and dwindling the more he strove for progress. Sometimes, the younger would raise up his hands in surrender and ask him if he should just do what he does best – singing. To which Jimin would disagree because he knew Jungkook had the talent for so much more.

Other times, Jungkook would try shooting photographs and videos. He would edit them in his supercomputer and ask Jimin what he thought of them. Though most of the pictures were of just him and the members eating or laughing or walking. Jungkook was talented that much was established. He learned things quickly and had eyes for how to make simple things look beautiful. Jimin full on supported this obviously more than gaming. He loved watching the maknae work hard and he found it adorable when he would bother their leader or Yoongi to get pointers on music production.

But at times, Jimin wished Jungkook would meet more with people. It was bad enough that Jungkook (or the rest of them) didn’t have the normal life a teenager would. Jungkook had to be that kid who preferred to stay inside his room during breaks.

It worried him.

“Don’t you have friends you want to meet? Play arcades? Bowling? Eat with?”

Jungkook raised his head and looked at him bemusedly. “Do you want to have a date?”

“Wha–” Jimin began to answer until he realized what the words meant. He felt his cheeks getting hotter at the implication. While he understood he could be quite roundabout when he wanted something from the maknae at times – “That’s not what I mean.”

Jungkook pushed his chair away from his makeshift work table and stretched up, eyes not leaving Jimin’s who stared at him back, gaze fleetingly zooming in to the skin exposed when the other guy pulled at his muscles.

Jungkook smirked as he motioned for his bed’s ladder. Jimin blinked when Jungkook reached the mattress and crawled towards him. He scooted to give space and noticed he was on his back a little too late. Jungkook beamed at him from above, an arm propping himself up so that he won’t put much of his weight on him.

“You’re doing it again,” Jimin said, own hand instinctively reaching up his neck. He didn’t pull but Jungkook dipped his head a little lower so that their noses would touch, making Jimin crossed-eyed.

“Jimin-ah,” the younger whispered with a leer, free hand resting over Jimin’s waist. As if to drive his point across, Jungkook wedged a leg between his.

Jimin giggled in sheer embarrassment and placed a hand on Jungkook’s chest. “Stop avoiding this talk. Hyung is telling you to meet people. I’m wor–”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence because Jungkook planted a kiss over his lips. The kiss was firm but quick so when Jungkook pulled back after two seconds or three, Jimin craned his neck forward, threading his fingers through the younger’s hair and tugging him down. Jungkook loved it when he played with his hair. Whether the kiss was passionate or lazy.

Jimin slowly opened his eyes that he didn’t even notice he shut as Jungkook pulled back once again.

“Aish,” Jimin muttered, biting his lower lip in uncertainty. When Jungkook looks at him like this, all attention on him as if he mattered the most, he wanted to curl away but at the same time bask in the intensity of it all. He really, really likes this kid. This man.

Jungkook’s grin was cheeky as he watched his expression. “You really like it.”

He won. Jimin got distracted.

Jimin lightly punched his chest and scoffed. “Why? You hate it? You think you’re all that.”

“I am,” he replied and kissed him again. “I think you’re cute,” he mused and let himself fall sideways, arm remaining across Jimin’s stomach.

“Woah, Jungkook-ssi are you really turning into this person? I should show you how frightening I am,” Jimin answered with mock-offense and faced Jungkook by turning to his side. Soon as he did, Jungkook tightened his hold on him so that he’d be pulled closer. “Anyway, you’re diverting the topic. I told you I want to talk.”

Jungkook sighed but didn’t protest, merely fumbled with the hem of Jimin’s shirt from behind.

“Go out of your room, Jungkook-ah.”

“If you want to meet your friends, I won’t stop you.”

“You think that’s what I’m worried about?”

Jungkook’s brows met. “What are you worried about?”

“I want you to meet people.”

“Why?”

“To have more friends. It’s lonely when you stay alone in your room.” He could feel Jungkook tensing up and ready to pull himself upright, away from the embrace. Jimin prevented his escape by trapping his body with his right leg.

“I’m not lonely. I have friends.” From his waist, Jungkook’s hand moved to the back of Jimin’s thigh. “We play games when you’re not around.”

“Ah, you’re bringing that up now,” Jimin spat back. Now it was him who felt attacked. It was his turn to activate his flight instincts which Jungkook sealed with his grip. “Are we starting to list down things we’re both not pleased about? That’s not all friends do. You need to talk about things. Things that you’re happy or stressed about.”

“Jimin-ah,” Jungkook mumbled softly and lightly bumped his head on his. “We talk about those.”

“Yeah, but I meant same-aged friends.”

Jungkook remained silent.

“That face…”

Jungkook was losing his thin patience.

So he let out a second sigh. “We go bowling sometimes. I chat with them. Hyung, what do you want from me?”

That night, he stepped on the wrong mine. Between the two of them, Jimin would be more likely to burst into frequent uncontrollable rage. Jungkook never rode the high. He would back down to pacify Jimin more often than not. Jungkook only ever got seriously mad at him one time when he refused to let go of his unhealthy diet prior their Wings promotion. And when Jungkook loses it – “Don’t get angry. It’s scary,” Jimin admitted reaching up for his nape and leaning in to kiss him.

Jungkook didn’t turn away to let him ebb his anger.

“Hyung, if you want to meet people, go.”

At one point, the way Jungkook would use ‘hyung’ when it was just the two of them started to bother him too. Because it meant that Jungkook was willingly trying to set the distance that they previously held before. He knew Jungkook hated it when Jimin would call him kid and attempt to assert their age difference.

“Don’t call me hyung.”

It seemed to take Jungkook aback. His eyes widened slightly at the request as Jimin closed the little space they had.

“I’m not angry.”

“You are.” Jimin gave the gap between his neck and shoulder a squeeze, letting his fingers trace Jungkook’s jaw afterwards. “Sorry, I was being meddlesome.”

Jungkook nodded. “You’re annoying but I’m not angry.”

He rarely pointed out imperfections because he knew how words affected Jimin but he would in detail once triggered. Jimin wouldn’t want to hear the rest of it.

“Alright, I’ll stop talking about it,” he promised.

That night, he yielded because Jungkook had a point. And while games were something he wouldn’t really consider deep foundation for friendship, if that was what made Jungkook happy, he had no right to say otherwise.

–

Not until he would be questioned when he was out with someone else.

wer r u

It was one of those hangouts for purple dim lights and gaming amidst the districts of Gangnam. The venue was crowded, chatter a buzz. Jimin sat on the couch crossed leg from an isolated corner, phone chiming as pins went strike by the other end of the alley. Tonight’s menu smelled barbecue and great though turning spoiled sour earlier than expected caused by the absence of one Jeon Jungkook who promised him he’d be with him for the party.

Smashing bowl.

He frowned at his phone as an ‘I knew it’ reverberated through his head. Hid the device in his pants’ back pocket as if to silence the impatient tone that demanded he get pissed at the younger. Because that was the second that night and whoever wanted anyone checking on them ten minutes into conversation? Jungkook should get a hobby.

“Is something wrong, sunbaenim?” Dongchul asked him, noticing the change of his mood.

The kid watched him from his periphery as he tipped his head back to sip his can of coke.

It had always happened with this trainee, Jungkook nagging at him and sending selcas randomly.

He would typically find it cute. This was a side to Jungkook that their fans haven’t been made privy, one which he and the rest of the members had enjoyed for themselves. And typically too, he would find himself running to the younger’s room and cooing at his beckon.

Right now it grated on his nerves annoyingly.

If Jungkook wanted to come so badly, why did he cancel off on him? He offered. That kid. He offered for Jungkook to come with him and he agreed. They were set until the younger was made aware that Dongchul was coming with them.

Jimin thought they were getting along. They were same aged, Dongchul just a few months younger. The trainee was passionate about dancing the way Jungkook is, liked hamburgers and playing games so it was good fit. Even as he looked at the trainee, he couldn’t find what it was that made Jungkook’s face downcast at the mere mention. With his yellow oversized shirt and mismatched red cap to cover his almost shaved head, Jimin thought Dongchul is actually cute. He also frequently would ask Jimin for dance advice. Jimin felt valuable around him and, in his opinion, that wasn’t bad company at all.

Jimin lifted a palm towards Dongchul’s direction. “Just a minute. Could you play by yourself? I’ll just scold my child.”

“Ah,” Dongchul responded, quick to catch the hint and not even waiting for the answer. He was already walking towards the racks where the neon balls lined up. Jimin didn’t miss Jungkook’s name escape the trainee’s lips even inaudible.

He didn’t hear further due to the other silent chatters so he opted to return his attention back to his phone and slid his screen open. The KT chat appeared where Jungkook just sent him a photo of himself doing a thumbs up as he sat languid on the office chair in his room. It was followed by a photo of his computer screen that showed Overwatch with his favorite character, Widowmaker. Childish how he was trying to get his attention but it seemed to be working anyway.

Go marry Widowmaker

enjoy your date

Jimin let out a short laugh when the reply came fast. He wasn’t playing the game. If Jungkook were really on it, he wouldn’t have the time to type on his phone and would ignore him for the rest of the night.

What’s wrong with you and Dongchul?

He frowned when a minute came, the little yellow number showing his question was seen and he was receiving no response.

Aishhh

Answer before we fight again.

His empty threat proved effective because the answer was almost as immediate.

hyung

The honorifics resurfaced. 

?

Ur doing it again.

??

trying to make me meet people.

Jimin’s fingers froze and hovered over his phone’s cracked screen. Lips pursed when he knew Jungkook had him figured out.

The younger refused to give him a clear-cut answer earlier when he confronted why he wasn’t dressed for their night out. He shook him senseless to coerce him away from his PC but Jungkook refused to budge. That he chose to finally tell him when they weren’t face to face underscored how uncomfortable it was for him.

Jiminie

Jiminssi

Jimin

Jiminah

Jimin smiled as he watched the string of nicknames flew through the chat screen.

What?

Funny how the same person could make him feel guilty, rejected and wanted at the same time.

im not angry

You’re never angry

And as an afterthought, he typed honestly.

That makes this difficult

He could imagine Jungkook licking his lips, trying to identify what went wrong again when it was all Jimin.

u wnt me to get angry about this

No i don’t know what I want from you.

Then, even more boldly.

I want everything. Probably.

kkkk

Don’t laugh

Hyung ur not that easy to love

Jimin blinked quickly, thoughts halted by words casually delivered over chat. Attempted to ignore the strain in his chest, knowing full well the truthfulness and gravity behind it.

Is that so? Are you breaking up with me?

He challenged just as casually, though feeling his grip on his phone a little more rigid as he waited. Ears ringing and silencing the babble of conversations around him. It wasn’t the first time Jungkook said that to him. Eventually, those words began to make him feel as if he were standing on thin ice. Unsteady. Nervous. Fragile.

A stark contrast from when they first started.

Always made him want to step on the breaks before they got in too deep.

Let’s break up.

He typed, chin tucked as he sniffed. He typed because he needed Jungkook to put him at ease.

try again

i wont let you go

Jimin let out a breath in relief. Okay. They were still okay.

kkk you just want to say those cheesy lines

ill turn off widowmaker. come home to me after u enjoy ur date.

Stop sulking and come here

But sometimes words weren’t enough to secure him.

Come here. Hyung will give you anything you want just come here. I want to see you.

kkk

After a minute of undisturbed chat stream brought about by the younger’s lack of additional comment after his vague emoji, Jimin thought he should press more.

Jungkook-ah

?

Come here. Where are you?

Cming to u

And the fact was, he was lying. Since the beginning, he probably never intended to back down. Hoseok did tell him once that he should stop trying to force Jungkook into doing things. But when Jungkook would come rushing to him like this. Eyes wide and yielding, it felt good. In a world that always pushed him to do well but never kind enough to rid him of insecurities, Jungkook would probably be the only person to see his selfish side and forgive him.

For how long though was the question.