#chapter 128

I think it's really interesting how both times, right before we've seen Fyodor reincarnate, we see him make this pose. The same pose Jesus made as he died on the cross, before coming back.

When Jesus was killed by man, he came back again as half man and half God. And as Jesus died for our sins (not only metaphorically, but also him literally dying because of the sin of us killing him), he returned as the hope to guide us away from our mistakes.

I think this ties in really nicely with Fyodor's ability, his motives, and how he views himself. We know Fyodor has this sort of God complex where he views himself as the hand to correct our mistake and remove the world of ability - like Jesus were to remove the world of sin. I mean, just imagine the first time Fyodor was killed (likely with an ability considering his mindset), in orthodox Christian Russia. It makes sese how he would have gravitated and turned to the Christian culture he grew up in, and in turn, began to view himself similarly to Christ; thinking they're both sacrificing their lives for the same great cause.

See how his head is bowed? We'd assume he looked defeated and had given up if we didn't know how Fyodor was. And in the Bible, Jesus "bowed his head and gave up his spirit" (John 19:30) as his final act before dying. And now we see Fyodor in the same position. Bowing his head, and maybe even giving up (had the snipper not shot him).

Also, the real Dostoevsky also placed a lot of emphasis on Christs suffering in the path to redemption and the value of faith offering meaning beyond the physical world (which we see in bsd Fyodor with how he talks of transcendence, ect.)

The quote in question is "The head may err but never the blood" which before Fyodor said that he said "I'm relieved. You truly are the bookmark, you are still stuck on those words."

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Okay, this should be a relatively short analysis because this chapter is clearly setting up a lot of details to be explored in the next few chapters. I'm posting this analysis just to point out these details, for now!

First of all, I've thought from the very beginning that Amane from 1968 was the one behind the timeline change sent by Kako & Mirai, as it was foreshadowed from chapters 101 and 111 respectively. Nice to see it confirmed. Moving forward...

Amane subtly showing he was neglected

Interesting choice on AidaIro's part to show that he's already been going through abuse regularly, flinching at Nene's touch and putting himself in a defensive position thinking he would get hit and then confused that she was just cupping his cheek instead.

(Also, bruising.)

An interesting detail is that Amane admits to Nene that this is his house, but he follows up with "I can't let the people who live here find me." Why wouldn't he just say "I can't let my family find me?"

Why does he refer to his own family as people who live here? The most straightforward answer would be that things fell apart so badly he can't call his family that anymore, and judging Amane's character, it's not because he's the one who doesn't want to. I'll expand on it with my next point.

Amane brings Nene into his own room (as it looks exactly like the one portrayed in Tsukasa's flashbacks and it even has the toybox) and says that nobody really comes into this room.

The contradiction is obvious at first glance. Everything is kept tidy, the toybox is there and the closet is full, and as shown by 4 year old Amane casually entering the room later in the chapter, this room is very obviously still his room in 1959.

To further back my argument here, in the alternate timeline, this room stays Amane's room even as he grows up.

So why would Amane say no one comes into this room? No, it's not because he's lying. It's because in 1968, nobody, in fact, really ever came to his room. That is Yugi Amane's reality.

Another sign would be that this kid doesn't know how to patch other people up, as if he wasn't really shown how to do it himself in that point in time. He wants to help another, but he doesn't know how to since he couldn't even help himself.

It also offers additional context as to why Tsuchigomori stuck with him after school in 1969 to patch up his injuries- Amane just couldn't do it himself.

Slightly off-topic, but it just goes to show how fast he thinks of others before he thinks of himself- The moment Nene was injured, he decided to head over to his room to get her patched up but not himself despite being hurt as well.

Though I feel the need to highlight the face he makes while apologizing for hurting Nene, how do I put it... It's as if he feels like he's always hurting others. Does that make sense? It couples pretty well with his low self-worth, his inability forgive himself and the words he utters in Tsuchigomori's flashback about forgiving whatever happens to him, even if it's not justified.

The last piece of detail worth mentioning is the way he looks at the twins playing around and their mother lovingly preparing their 4th birthday party.

He unmistakably looks very sullen, like this is something he doesn't have anymore. Something he wouldn't have again for a long time. As if that family is not his, as if those loving and warm memories don't belong to him. Not anymore. Which tracks with him calling his own family simply "people who live here".

Nene-onee-san, Yugi Amane's ray of hope

Isn't this the happiest we've ever seen this Amane be? It is, isn't it? It took him a bit, but he realized it's the girl he met four years ago at the festival, and his eyes lit up like crazy, perhaps thinking that his wish from back then finally came true.

Though, he finally starts suspecting. I wonder how long it will take him to realize she's a time traveler as well.

A very interesting detail here is that unlike Hanako 50 years later, he doesn't completely internalize his thoughts- He manages them by talking to himself, despite Nene being right in front of him. My assumption is that Amane in this time period is still trying to cope with his loneliness when his feelings get particularly strong, as if that's his way of managing them.

Ok but HAVE YOU SEEN MY HANDSOME KUNIKIDA

Im going to cry

Ah yes, another chapter and yet another example of Atsushi being a painfully relatable character. Yap incoming.

Atsushi is a wonderfully written character, st least for me reading the manga feels as if I were truly seeing a real person's experiences. His emotions amd relationships are complicated, which makes them feel even more natural and throughout the story he has to put in the work to understand them himself.

I think he is great representation of people facing struggles with any kind of "unusual" parents/authority figures, whether it means abusive, distant, neglectful or anything that doesn't quite fall into those categories. Sure, Atsushi shows us the worst possible case: he experienced torture, but even then his struggles feel relatable for us with more minor issues. What i mean to say is that even if you didnt exactly experience brutality like he did yoy might still see yourself reflected in him.

I sure do. It's baffling to see my beloved character think the same kind of thoughts I did. Even when you feel like you should feel disdain towards them, anger maybe, in the end you can't really bring yourself to truly do so. Even if that seems like the most logical scenario you just don't.

Notice how Atsushi uses the word "father" here. He knows the man is just the orphanage director, and yet he chooses to use such a meaningful word. He wishes for the man to just be like any other parent, wishes for a normal environment. As we know Atsushi was fed by the director, however it was in the forms of injections of nutriens.