#chaotides

        it  had  been  constant  since  that  day  --  the  day  Felix  had  gone.  even  after  his  defeat;  even  after  she  had  stopped  Lilith’s  war...  they  still  sang  for  justice;  for  salvation.  she  would  have  hoped  for  its  end  when  her  own  life  came  to  an  end,  however  brief  it  might  have  been,  but  it  appeared  even  that  was  not  enough  to  sate  them.  she’d  have  thought  it  would  have  been,  but  perhaps  her  sins  in  their  eyes  were  too  great;  that  even  death  was  not  enough  for  them.  she  didn’t  know.  whenever  she  asked,  she  received  no  response.

        she  wished  not  for  it  to  turn  into  background  noise;  into  an  idle  state  --  yet  for  her  own  sanity  it  had  to.  if  her  brothers  and  sisters  had  deemed  her  guilty  she  would  repent,  of  course,  and  do  so  until  they  were  sated.  occasionally  she  could  hear  him.  Hades.  he  whispered  to  them;  soothed  their  ire  if  but  for  a  moment.  she  was  glad  he  had  found  peace...  or  perhaps  she  was  simply  imagining  it;  hoping  for  his  happy  ending.

        she  quickly  snapped  back  to  reality  as  the  other  posed  a  question  to  her.  something  about  tea,  she  believed;  or  could  it  have  been  about  what  they  were  to  do  for  the  day?  there  were  many  possibilities...  Maddie  would  have  to  come  clean  and  confess.  ❝  sorry,  honey,  ❞  came  the  soft  response,  her  gaze  cast  downward  slightly  --  though  it  was  quick  to  return  to  the  other,  ❝  could  you  repeat  that  for  me,  please?  my  mind’s  been...  wandering  a  bit.  ❞

❛  there you are. ❜   before her voice there is the soft jingle of her earrings and other assortments of jewellery hanging off her skirts and clasped between each horn.  behind them the bustling fizzles out,  though the streets are plenty full.  in a force of habit she dusts any stray hairs away from her cheek,  claws barely grazing.  ❛  i was wondering where you fluttered off to. ❜  

A soft tune was hummed, a Targonian lullaby that Leona had somehow gotten stuck inside her head. She walked down the corridor with a bit of a bounce in her step  —  happy to have a moment of rest from her work load and on top of that, be able to spend her time in good company. Or so she hoped.

When she rounded the corner and found Jules’ door, she opened it with her elbow as her hands were full with items brought from her own home  —  a special, expensive tea blend, as well as some goods from the market. She gave the door a little bump with her hip to swing it open further, only to be met with her friend’s partially packed bags when she entered.

“    What’s all this?    ”    Leona’s voice rang out, deep and steady as always despite the fears that started to build within her. Was she going somewhere? Unannounced? There could only be one reason for that, and it caused Leona’s heart to sink into her stomach.

@chaotides​ wailed:    you’re always so right.   it must be such a burden.   ( to emet ,   from pandora )

                   mabel:   a podcast sentences.

          THE BURDEN OF CERTAINTY LEADS TO A FRAGILE MIND.

hydaelyn’s champion speaks,   waits,   and speaks again.   the language of mortality flows,   a dialect of what was once whole;   once broken,   forever shattered   (   he doesn’t want to realize,   the wound is still open,   it hurts,   it burns—   ).   the ugly tone carries and scrapes its way into his ears,   nails on chalkboard and the sound of steel swords breaking bone.   emet - selch scowls,   corners of mouth turning far south   (   and maybe that’s where his grandson got it from   ).

pandora’s box opens—

“     that’s not a question.     ”     emet - selch says with a bored tone,   thumbing through one of one too many books the cabinet of curiosity has to offer;   of light,   of night,   of all that lacks sight.   he sighs,   closing book with a resounding   ‘ clap ’,   pushing a tale of two worlds into its designated spot on the spiralling shelf.     “     don’t presume,   hero.   meager words won’t reveal the whole story.     ”

—and sickness spreads and fester within the land until all that remains is the deceptive expectation of coalescing hope.   pyrrhic victories are damnable,   unwanted at most;   let me win or let me lose,   i don’t want the bittersweet,   the awful taste of loss.

no,   the burden is heavy,   world - weary.   emet - selch feels it on his shoulders,   how it pushes down,   a weight that almost feels physical;   he slouches even more forward in response,   waving a dismissive hand at the questioning look the brave and oh so valiant   (   and blinding;   the sun has ever been too bright to those who favored the night   )   hero throws at his back.

“     ‘tis only logical that i aim for the spot,     ”     only a week pushed forward and he’ll have aimed at the turned back of a fool who dared to syphon an earned plight,     “     and ‘tis only logical that i never miss.   i’ve had centuries to practice,   hero—     ”

millenia,   eons;   twelve - thousand years spent in the deepest trench.

emet- selch pushes away from the bookshelf and rolls his shoulders back,   loosening mortal muscles of borrowed corpse.  

the burden still weighs heavy.   he’s not sure he remembers when it didn’t.

               𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐩 𝐛𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐩,  𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐬 𝐞𝐜𝐡𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭.  her hips sway with each dramatic foot forward as she slowly saunters beyond the bar’s hidden door and slips within its darkened shadow,  she,  a shade in the night  !  the lights are dimmed,  but it makes no difference to a demon.

evelynn awaits her host’s own arrival just behind her,  and her gaze sweeps over the setting before her.  a subtle smile comes to curl a single corner of her mouth  —  a small show of her approval.  who would have known this little place was hidden back here  ?  she supposes that’s why it’s a speakeasy,  and surely,  with someone such as herself coming to frequent this establishment and its secret chambers,  it would only be a matter of time before something nefarious brews within its walls.

in truth  ,  she had never meant to harm rhea  .  it had been akira’s secret to keep  ,  and she would be damned if she let her former friend down one final time  .  she had accepted the terms of his death  ,  or rather his undeath  ,  with such grace that she had almost forgotten that he was dead to the rest of the world  .  blood moon eyes looked up to meet those of the near - stranger  ,  one of her rival’s friends that had somehow sought her out of all people  .  perhaps rhea was not doing so well after all  ,  if she was the last port of call  .  

“  that’s not something I taught her  ,  ”  the words slip so easily from her mouth  ,  uncaring  ,  almost  .  “  if she has lost her mind in her grief  ,  then she was never strong enough to handle herself before  .  ”  

death had surrounded her since the moment she was born  --  if not through the rigorous training  ,  then through the constant threat of being hunted by forces she could not even comprehend  .  her feelings towards the matter were twisted  ,  inhuman perhaps  ,  though the sooner everyone learned that death was no more a part of life as one’s birthday or any other celebration  ,  they could quit their whining  .  

“  she’s welcome to come to me if she needs something to live for  .  don’t know why she’d send someone else to do her dirty work for her  .  didn’t she learn last time  ?  ”

she should’ve known :  she was shit at small talk .  ‘  if it means anything, I do actually care how you’re doing .  ’  she fumbled about with the drink in her hand in an attempt to distract herself from the conversation  --  ishari had been on her mind since the moment they had stopped seeing each other , but she could never find the right words to go about talking to her again . well , at least now it couldn’t get any worse .  ‘  been thinking about you . a lot .  ’ 

there was no denying how strange things had been without ishari in her life , without someone like her to keep her company at the best of times . of course she’d had the girls , but they were different  --  they’d all fought so hard to be in the band that jeopardising it didn’t even cross their minds . they were afraid to have fun . a slow exhale escaped from her chest as she glossed over the past months in her head  --  her life had been so excruciatingly dull . 

‘  I guess I got my answer , though .  ’  she hummed , straightening her back to down another glass of whiskey .  ‘  y’know I never wanted ya to be miserable about me , ishari . thought you’d have at least found something fun to take away the sting of it .  ’  not that she had managed to find anything of the sort . focusing on her career was enough only in the moment  --  outside of her performances , her mind was free to wander . part of her had loved ishari  (  if she even knew what such a word meant ) , had wanted to be with her for far longer than the short time they’d been allowed together . perhaps one day she’d be able to rebel against such ridiculous rules ; perhaps one day they’d be able to try again . 

‘  here ,  ’  she smiled , raising her empty glass to the other ,  ‘  how about we forget everything and just have a good time  --  like we used to .  ’