#chanichatter

I liked the questions that Cucoo4cas answered, so I answered them too, before reading the instructions. Might as well post them, too ;)

1. A song you´ve caught yourself singing rather often recently?

"So long, farewell Auf Wiedersehen, adieu" Sound of Music 2. 20-years-later-epilogues - yes or no and why?

Um, to me no. You can't satisfy everyone, and showing what happened 20 years later will probably upset more than it will make happy. Be it a book or tv series. It's best to let broken hearts and racing minds each imagine on their own.

3. What was the last movie you saw in the cinema and how did you like it?

One of the Star Wars pre-trilogy. I was annoyed with it. I didn't like the transition to Vadar-hood, and have practically decided that part of SW didn't happen.

4. If you could get rid of exactly one kind of animal, which would it be?

I wouldn't. I'm big on conservation, especially Rhino Conservation.

5. Which is your Hogwarts House?

Every test put me in Griffendor, but I'm pretty sure I'd be in Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff.

6. What is your favourite word or phrase in your mother tongue? (+Translation)

Weird. (Because I am, and it fits me perfectly.)

1. Of, relating to, or suggestive of the preternatural or supernatural. 2. Of a strikingly odd or unusual character; strange. 3. Archaic Of or relating to fate or the Fates.

Redundant. not or no longer needed or useful; superfluous.

7. Which languages do you speak?

American English, primarily. But I also know a weeeee bit of Spanish, French, Norwegian, Latin. (Not enough to really communicate without aid.)

8. Where did your favourite journey (so far) go?

A drive cross country, in PA, the interstate was shut down and we had to find an alternate route. This was the first 2 months we had our car, so I was still learning her abilities. We ended up on a windy, very steep uphill road surrounded by beautiful woods. I was trying not to floor the pedal, but the RPMs were already higher than I liked, and we were going maybe 30mph, and some guy was not happy and sped around me at twice the speed and I just muttered "Well, Fuck you very much. I don't know the roads and my Baby's not happy, she's used to fucking flat country! Ass."

9. Eagles or falcons?

Going with Eagles, but not for the point of the question. My HS team was the Eagles, and I crocheted a blanket to take to the football games, so always a HHEagle girl.

10. In what kind of shop is your money most in danger?

Bookstore. Used, New, whatever, I'm doomed.

11. If you could say only one more sentence, what would you say?

Rule 1: Post the Rules

Rule 2: Answer the 11 questions and make 11 new ones

Rule 3: Tag up to 11 people and link them to this post

Rule 4: Let them know you tagged them

~~~)0(~~~ My questions from http://cucoo4cas.tumblr.com/post/62438426708/11-tags-rule-1-post-the-rules-rule-2-answer

1. What is you favorite time of day? MIddle of the night. The world is quiet, I can read, shop, walk, think, listen to music in a calmness that isn't there the rest of the day. #NightOwl

2. Are there any Pixar movies that did not make you cry? If so, which ones? Um, I've only seen 2. Toy Story did not make me cry. WALL-E didn't either. I've got a high cry-tolerance, tho, so that's nothing against any movies.

3. What is your favorite punctuation mark? If you don’t have one, that’s okay. The Interrobang. ‽ Liked it so much I made it into a #SPNandVocab word for my website, I think it rightly signifies "WTF" (often represented by ?! or !?), is a nonstandard punctuation mark used in various written languages and intended to combine the functions of the question mark and the exclamation point.

4. What is your favorite tv show (only pick one)? Supernatural

5. Who is your OTP (only one)? Bobby Singer and Sheriff Jody Mills.

6. Where did your url come from? My name/nom de plume. Frank Herbert's Dune series, Chani was a Fremen native to Dune, who in the movie described to Muad'Dib, that he was named for the "Mouse-shaped shadow on the second moon." I also loved Moonlighting at the time so.... Chani Moonshadow was born.

7. What is your favorite book? THAT I cannot answer. There is no favourite, no one I cannot do without. There are books I have read only once. Books I have read only 2-3 times. Books I have read 10, 15, 30 + times. Series I have read 10-30 times. I HAVE to read, I am incomplete without a book.

8. Why did you start following me? Cause I knew you from Twitter.

9. Are you planning on going to Tumblr-con? Um, never heard of it, so prolly not.

10. Have you ever written fanfiction? If so, can I read it?? Yes I have, ish. It's mostly a dream, not finished but the bit I have done, sure.

11. Do you have a twitter? yup! @ChaniWatcher 

~~~)0(~~~

Here are my questions for you!

1. What was your most scary nightmare ever? (Critter or details, your choice!)

2. Coffee, tea or hot chocolate? 

3. Do you play any instruments? If you do, what do you play? If you don’t, what do you want to be able to play?

4. What song is stuck in your head currently?

5. What was the best book you've read? 

6. If you were to re-watch a beloved movie right now, what would it be?

7. Favourite cocktail/liquor? If you don't drink, then Favourite dessert?

8. Can you sew, knit, or crochet?

9. What kind of music you like? 

10. Crunchy or smooth peanut butter?

11. What do you like best about yourself?

~~~)0(~~~

I tag

So in the fandom I usually get asked "Are you a Sam Girl?" "Are you a Dean Girl?" "Are you a Cas girl?" "Crowley?" etc etc etc I revel in reading, learning, researching. I have books piled everywhere. I definitely have different visions of reality and life compared to most of my family, aside from most immediate and adopted by the heart. I've never quite fit in with the majority of my family, with one person being the exception. Been called weird, or a freak or strange all my life. I consider them compliments when others say it. But not always when I say it about myself. I'm often quiet, reserved, but don't mistake my silence for weakness or as a sign of uncaring. I tend to try to just bury things. try not to think of things. even when faced with the person. And if the thoughts i want to avoid start coming, do something to distract myself. music. online play. take a tax class, clean the house, read, write, draw house plans, just don't deal with it. not healthy, but it's how i roll. But sometimes, I get to the point, like many do, that I have to let it out. I've locked so much away, deep inside of me that if I don't let one thing out, I'll fucking explode or destroy everything within striking range. I enjoy the simpler things in life, as long as I have music, I'm happy for weeks. As long as I know I can drive to get what i need, don't have to rely on other, I'm golden. I am, frankly confused by most people. I don't interact with a lot of them, outside of work, unless they are of a chosen few. I like to watch life, to see how things work. I'm curious about things, people, how they think. I ask weird questions, wondering why they did this or that. Not to be judgmental or comparative, just honest curiosity. I like to listen to stories people tell, be they 6 or 60; doesn't matter the subject or if I know anything in relation to it. I will bounce from reading Stephen Hawkiing, to Supernatural book, to porn, to Dante's Infero, to the Mayfair Witches, to IRS rules and regulations, to Archie comic books. I always worry about those closest to me, or my heart the most. Even above the health or sanity of myself. I will do pretty much anything they ask of me, if I physically can, because they are family, blood or not. I'm always trying to help others, any way I can. I may not be able to protect them, maybe not even their feelings. If all I can do is listen, then I will. I spend so much of my time worrying what I can do to others, those I care about deeply, even to those who have slighted me over something that makes no sense. If I give my word, I do anything I can to keep it. If I have to go two days without sleep to finish crocheting a 17inch tall Eeyore for my sister-of-the-heart, so she gets it before she delivers her first child I do it. If I have to stay in the office to finish my work, or work for another and end up being there 14 hours when I was only on the schedule for 6, I do it. I don't see myself as scary or unapproachable, but if I want to be left alone, I will be. I can project my aura to the point that people will cross the street rather than walk within 15 feet of me. One person did me wrong long ago, and at the same time I sat thinking upon this person, wishing that something evil would happen to them, so THEY could feel the same hurt, pain, humiliation, and dejection that I had felt..... They were accosted in an alley, robbed, stabbed and sent to the hospital. The person blamed me, calling me a witch, saying I had cursed them. After getting out of the hospital, the person abandoned their life, and moved across the country to get away from me, for fear that if they wronged me again, they'd die. But it was not my doing.

I'm only 94 pages into Supernatural and Philosophy, but I am enjoying it. I do not know if I am truly learning anything. Maybe some interesting little tidbits in review. A few things to look up. A few antiquated friends to reacquaint myself with. I know there are a lot of little things in the tv show that some I get, some I miss. I don't search them out, but if I catch them, I am, sadly enough, oft impressed with myself.

The book talks about "Jus in Bello" in relation to military meaning. Talks about the Latin roots to the word monster. Brings in classifications of being from Aristotle. Talks about morals, in justification, classifications, decisions, theory. talks about objectification in the actual meaning, and not just about "oh how pretty he is!"

But is has, at various points thus far made me question my readings in the past decade of my life. Growing up I used to read a book a day. Didn't always matter what it was, if I truly enjoyed it or not, I read a book a day. This last decade I read either before bed or while traveling for the most part. Otherwise I read for work, to keep up to date on the latest tax changes to be better prepared for my clients.

The books I have read, for the most part, have been for pleasure. And while I have greatly enjoyed them, some of them I have reread so many times the pages have separated from the spines, falling from the book like leaves from a tree in cooling fall. Does it matter that I can picture even the most minutiae of each scene, as if the book was a movie being played on a HD tv in my living room? Or that I feel I know each character like a best friend? Or that each series I have been invested in, is linked in a base way. The supernatural. not the TV show (although yes I have been reading the books based from the show lately). Vampires, werewolves, other were beasties, witches, the arcane. The side of "reality" of which I have been drawn to all my life.

Hardly challenging, is it? Don't get me wrong. I simply adore the books. But I am starting to really wonder if deep down I gave up on self-education, at the same time the educational system failed me in my eyes. I moved from one state to another. The previous state for the first time I had a class where I was getting Ds and Fs. English. Until one day when we were discussing Robert Frost and some other poet. I got frustrated with the teacher, and started arguing with his POV, and defending mine during class, taking up the whole second half,. And nearly an hour after the school day ended..I guess he finally realized I did have a brain, and started reading what I subsequently submitted, because my grades suddenly were back to the straight As I had been used to all my life. (Well an occasional B here and there when I wasn't succinct enough. Hard to believe that, isn't it? ;) )

At the school in the new state they offered to put me in classes, take me out and test me for placement. Put me in new classes, as by that time my transcripts from previous school should have arrived. And when the test results came back put me in my final classes.They were full of shit, so I essentially dropped out of school. I went and got my GED. 

For about 5 years after that I still ready a book daily, used my library card frequently. But then, I started work. And got married. And moved out. And moved over a thousand miles away from every family member I had, for the third time in my life. And got invested in larger book series, where each book was nearly 1000 pages, books that I would devour in a day when they came out. And made new family members. And then moved one last time, to where I can finally unpack all my books.

But when have I last dusted off The Iliad n Odyssey? Read Thomas of Aquinas? Compared Freud to Jung? Pulled up and delved human anatomy and physiology? Made sure I remember Id vs Ego? Pulled out my Learn Navajo (Diné) cds? My Learn Norwegian (Norsk)  books and tapes? What of my desire to learn more of Latin and Ojibwe?

At least I got Black Elk Speaks: Being the Life Story of a Holy Man of the Oglala Sioux.

And The Demons Within will be waiting for me when I get home. Got Christmas gift of $, so I can buy the book I've been waiting for. 

http://www.amazon.com/Black-Elk-Speaks-Oglala-Premier/dp/1438425406/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1387625886&sr=1-1&keywords=black+elk+speaks http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/black-elk-speaks-john-g-neihardt/1102252866?ean=9781438425405

One reason I do the manip debunking is not to discredit those that make the manips. It does take some thought and creativity and time and effort to make most manips, it is a form of art, I won't deny it. But, knowing how insecure I am about myself in so many ways, I have to wonder.... what do people like Jared and Jensen and Misha and so many other celebrities think about themselves?

I highly doubt one could find an actual candid quote anywhere, an interview or confession. But anyone who was close to any star that is admired might know the answer, or a hint of it. We're all human, no matter what job we have, how popular or successful we are. I like the guys just the way they are.

All the words I've heard parroted to me over and over I'd parrot back to anyone else feeling any of the same self-doubts I have. "I don't care if you gain a few pounds, lose a few pounds, get buff and muscle-y or little love handles. As long as you stay healthy, and happy, I'm happy. We may not be the closest, but I care about you."

These two quotes, for example who knows what the full context of the situation was, I wasn't there personally for the full interview or conversation, but each could fit with my little ramble here, just a bit... Whether they are from two decades ago or two days ago.

I'm just a regular boy who goofs around, pulls pranks, and makes jokes. I'm not Mr. Debonair Suave. I'm just a regular boy who goofs around, pulls pranks, and makes jokes. That doesn't sound very hot to me. Jensen Ackles

Late to the party as usual. Not sure if I'm saying it right, but it's worth a go, eh? The question was how Dean would react to something so bad, that he couldn't even crack a joke.......................

Metatron's right. He may be a bit of an ass, but he's right. 

METATRON (grinning)

And it was something to watch. What you brought to His Earth, all the mayhem, the murder. Just the raw, wild invention of God's naked apes... it was mind-blowing. But really... really, it was your storytelling. That is the true flower of free will. At least as you've mastered it so far. When you create stories, you become gods, of tiny, intricate dimensions unto themselves. So many worlds! I have read... as much as it's possible for an angel to read, and I haven't caught up. 

I remember being somewhere between 6-8 years of age, having finally finished reading the last book in the children s section of our towns library. I looked at the clock, knew it was a few hours until mom would be there to get me. So I decided I was going to read a grown-up book.

I went an walked up and down each row, not caring which section I was in, but debating which would be my first "grown-up" book. I finally picked one, based solely on it's cover. (Yes, NOW I know the 'Don't judge a book by it's cover' I didn't then ;) The cover was done in very bright neon colours, that were somehow almost pastels. 

I took the book to a table and dove in. It turned out be based on a real crime. A family asleep in their house. Someone broke in, brutally murdering them, taking none of their possessions. And the ensuing investigation by the police, resulting in no capture or conviction. Perhaps not the best choice for such a young age, one would normally think, but I was enthralled. I reshelved it and grabbed 2 more and read them before mom showed up. 

it was not too gruesome for me, as my gran had shown me "freighters" or scary movies since I was 3 or so, against my mothers wishes. The investigation, the description in the book, that is what got to me. I worked my way through the adult section in the following years.

When mom went to graduate school the following year, I either went to class with her, or hung out in the library (new books!) to entertain myself. I soon discovered Shakespeare. Went through his whole works in less than a week. I devoured the Native American section. Hell, I helped the library staff redo the card catalog. Decorated for the functions they held. Part of the family nearly.