#chaewon fluff

She drew in a deep breath before turning the doorknob. As the door opened, a warm, inviting scent and the sight of the apartment’s beautiful décor washed over her.

“Wow! This is better than I expected!” She spoke to herself.

She dropped her bag on the couch and looked around. The artwork on the walls stopped her in her tracks—it was incredible. She quickly snapped a photo and sent it to her friends.

“Oh right! Let’s check out the rooms.” As she approaches the corner, she bumps into someone and falls backward, landing on the ground as a couple of paintbrushes belonging to the other person clatter loudly beside her.

She rubs her forehead, dazed from the collision. “W-What the—?” Her eyes widen as she looks up at a tall boy towering above her. “W-Who are you?! And why are you in my apartment?!”

He let out a scoff. “Your apartment? Really? And maybe watch where you’re going next time.” He straightened up after dusting himself off, then crouched to collect his scattered paintbrushes.

He’s really handsome—unfortunately, Chaewon thought. And a total dick on top of that! She got back on her feet, glaring. “I live here! Why the hell are you in my apartment?!”

“Are you stupid?” he said, and Chaewon froze. “You’re the roommate, right? Please tell me you at least read the listing.” He crossed his arms. “It said shared apartment, genius.”

“Shared?!” Chaewon echoed, eyes wide. “Since when?!”

“Since always,” he said flatly, barely looking at her.

She threw her hands up. “Great. Just perfect. A random guy who doesn’t know how to apologize and thinks he owns the place. Fantastic start.”

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he said with a half-smile. “Sorry to disappoint you, but the only haunting thing here is your lack of reading comprehension.”

“Excuse me?!” she snapped.

“Shared apartment,” he repeated, pointing towards the lease pinned to the fridge. “Welcome home, roommate.”

She rolled her eyes. “How can I be so stupid?!” She whispered under her breath. “I can’t go back now.”

~~~~

Chaewon let out a satisfied sigh. “Finally, all done,” she said, finishing the last of her unpacking. She glanced around the room, taking in her new space before deciding to explore a bit.

There were two extra rooms—one of which, she thought, could be perfect for a small music studio. But before she could take a closer look, the sharp sound of water splashing against the floor made her pause.

“Are you serious? Great—now I need to get more water,” the boy grumbled. Chaewon watched as he stepped out of the room, clearly frustrated.

As soon as he was gone, curiosity tugged at her. Moving quietly, she tiptoed to the doorway and peeked inside, gasping softly as her eyes swept across the room.

Art covered every inch of the room, from the walls to the easel in the corner. It’s beautiful, she thought, eyes wide in awe. “This guy’s actually talented,” she whispered. But before she could take another step…

“Boo!”

He caught her just in time, their faces inches apart. “You really have a thing for falling, don’t you?” he teased.

“S-shut up! You scared me!” she snapped, cheeks red as she stepped back.

After a brief pause, he tilted his head. “So… care to explain why you were snooping around my art room?”

“I—I wasn’t snooping!” she stammered. “I just… heard something and got curious.”

He leaned against the doorway, grinning. “Curious about my art or about me?”

“Neither!” she snapped, her face turning red. “Don’t flatter yourself! I-I was… inspecting.”

“Inspecting now, huh?” he said, laughing softly. “Didn’t realize I was living with a detective.”

“Maybe you are,” she replied, lifting her chin. “And detectives don’t like suspicious behavior.”

“Suspicious? I was painting.”

“Exactly. Suspicious,” she said, refusing to smile even as he laughed.

The tension in the air slowly faded into something lighter. He went back to his easel, brushing a few strokes of blue across the canvas.

Chaewon stood by the doorway, arms still crossed—but her tone softened. “You’re really serious about your art, huh?”

He glanced over his shoulder, surprised by her shift in tone. “Yeah. It’s kind of… my thing,” he said quietly. “Been painting since I was a kid.”

“That’s… actually pretty cool,” she admitted, her earlier defensiveness melting away.

He smiled faintly, the first genuine one she’d seen from him. “Thanks. Didn’t think you’d say that after calling me a jerk.”

She smirked, trying to play it off. “Hey, I can appreciate talent and still think you’re a jerk.”

“Fair enough,” he said, chuckling softly.

For the first time since she moved in, the silence between them wasn’t awkward—it was almost comfortable.

“You can come closer, you know,” he said without looking back. “You’re hovering like I’m gonna bite.”

“I’m not hovering,” she said quickly, taking one cautious step inside.

He glanced at her with a teasing smile. “Sure you’re not.”

She ignored him, pretending to study the paintings instead. “You’re… actually really good,” she admitted, her voice softer this time.

“Thanks,” he said, setting his brush down. “Didn’t expect you to say that. Thought you’d just insult me again.”

“I can multitask,” she replied with a grin.

He laughed—a real laugh this time—and she couldn’t help but smile too. The sound filled the room, easy and warm.

Then, without warning, she stepped back and bumped into a paint can.

They both froze as blue paint started pooling on the floor.

“Oh no…” she whispered.

He looked at the mess, then at her, and sighed. She winced. “I’ll… clean it up?”

He smiled faintly, shaking his head. “Yeah. Together.”

For some reason, that one word—together—made her chest flutter just a little. Chaewon grabbed some tissues from the counter and crouched down, trying to soak up the blue puddle.

“Ugh… this is so bad,” she groaned.

“Relax,” he said, kneeling beside her with a small smile. “It’s just paint. Happens all the time.”

“Yeah, well, not usually because I knock it over,” she muttered, cheeks puffing slightly.

He laughed softly. “You really do have a talent for chaos.”

She shot him a look. “Says the guy who leaves open paint cans lying around.”

“Touché,” he said, smirking.

They cleaned in silence for a moment—until she realized how close they were sitting. She glanced up, and he was already looking at her. For a second, neither of them moved.

“Uh…” she cleared her throat, sitting up straighter. “I don’t think we’ve… properly introduced ourselves.”

He blinked, then smiled faintly. “Right. I’m Lee Y/n.”

“Kim Chaewon,” she said, returning the smile despite herself.

“Well, Chaewon,” Y/n said, standing up and offering her a hand, “welcome to Apartment 54. Try not to flood the place again, yeah?”

She took his hand, rolling her eyes but smiling. “No promises.”

Their fingers brushed just a little longer than either of them expected.

And as they both looked away, pretending not to notice, that strange flutter in her chest returned—stronger this time.

~~~~

Morning sunlight spilled through the blinds, brushing across Chaewon’s face. She groaned softly, burying herself deeper under the blanket before realizing—

Wait… this isn’t my old apartment.

She blinked awake, glancing around the unfamiliar room, boxes still half-open, a faint smell of paint lingering in the air. Right. New place. New start. And… new roommate. Her stomach grumbled. “Ugh, breakfast,” she muttered, dragging herself out of bed.

As soon as she opened the door, the scent of coffee hit her. She peeked into the kitchen—and froze.

Y/n was already there, hair messy, sleeves rolled up, calmly sipping coffee while flipping pancakes like he owned the place. “Morning, roommate,” he said without looking up.

“You cook?” she asked, surprised.

“And you wake up before noon? Miracles do happen,” he replied with a grin.

She narrowed her eyes. “You’re awfully confident for someone who spilled water everywhere yesterday.”

“Correction,” he said, turning to hand her a plate. “You knocked over the paint. I just cleaned it up better.”

She crossed her arms but took the plate anyway. “You’re still a jerk.”

“And you’re still clumsy.”

They stared at each other for a moment—then both cracked up laughing.

For the first time since she’d moved in, it felt… nice. Warm. Like maybe this wasn’t going to be such a disaster after all.

“So,” he said, taking another sip of coffee. “Think you can survive living with me?”

She smiled over her pancake. “Depends. Can you survive living with me?”

He chuckled. “Guess we’ll find out.”

(Later that day)

By afternoon, the apartment had settled into an almost comfortable rhythm—almost.

Chaewon was sitting on the couch with her laptop open, headphones on, quietly humming as she worked on a new melody. For once, everything felt calm. Until the sound of drilling shattered the peace.

“WHAT is that?!” she yelled, pulling off her headphones.

Y/n’s voice echoed from the hallway. “Just hanging up a shelf!”

“A shelf? It sounds like you’re demolishing the wall!” she shouted back.

He appeared a moment later, holding a power drill and covered in dust. “You’re welcome in advance. I’m making space for our stuff.”

“Our stuff?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah. You get the left side for your music junk. I’ll take the right.”

“It’s not junk,” she muttered. “It’s equipment.”

“Right,” he said with a grin. “Equipment that takes up half the living room.”

“You’re one to talk—your art supplies are everywhere!”

“Hey, creativity needs space.”

“So does sanity,” she fired back.

They glared at each other for a beat—then burst into laughter at how ridiculous they sounded.

“Okay,” Y/n said between laughs. “Maybe we’re both disasters.”

“Maybe,” she admitted, still smiling. “But at least it’s not boring.”

He looked at her for a second longer than necessary, that playful glint in his eyes softening just a little.

“Yeah,” he said quietly. “Definitely not boring.”

And just like that, the tension between them shifted—still sharp around the edges, but warmer now. The kind that hinted that maybe, just maybe, something more was beginning to spark.

(Time Skip)

A few days passed, and life in Apartment 54 began to settle into a strange but comfortable routine. Mornings were filled with the smell of coffee and the sound of Lee Y/n’s brushstrokes, while Chaewon’s music drifted softly from her room. They still bickered—constantly—but the edge had faded. Now, their arguments sounded more like inside jokes.

One evening, thunder rolled outside, rattling the windows. The rain poured hard against the glass as Chaewon peeked into the kitchen.

Y/n stood there, hair a little damp, sleeves rolled up, stirring something on the stove.

“You’re cooking again?” she asked, surprised.

“Someone’s gotta keep us alive,” he replied with a smirk. “Unless you plan on living off instant noodles forever.”

“Hey, don’t insult my noodles. They’ve gotten me through hard times,” she said, grinning.

“Then consider this an upgrade,” he said, handing her a spoon. “Taste.”

She hesitated, then took a bite. “Okay… wow. That’s actually really good.”

“You sound shocked,” he said, pretending to be offended.

“Because I am shocked,” she teased. “You look like the type who burns water.”

He laughed, shaking his head. “You’re impossible.”

“And you’re smug,” she said, grabbing a second spoonful anyway.

For a moment, the storm outside faded into background noise. The kitchen felt warm—too warm.

“You know,” he said after a pause, “you’re not as bad as I thought.”

“Wow,” she said, placing a hand over her chest. “The great Y/n just complimented me. Should I write this down?”

He chuckled. “Don’t push it.”

They shared a look—short, quiet, and strangely tender—before Chaewon turned away, pretending to focus on the rain tapping against the window.

What is this feeling? she thought, heart fluttering. He’s still a jerk… but why does he suddenly feel so—

“You’re staring again,” he said without turning around.

“I—What?! No, I wasn’t!” she stammered.

“Sure,” he said, smiling as he plated the food.

“Ugh,” she muttered, but couldn’t stop the small smile that crept onto her lips.

(Later That Night!)

Later that night, the dishes were done, and the rain had quieted to a gentle patter. The two of them sat on the couch, mugs of hot chocolate in hand, a half-finished movie playing quietly in the background.

Chaewon glanced at Y/n from the corner of her eye. He wasn’t teasing her for once—just sitting there, focused on his drink, a small frown tugging at his lips.

“You look serious,” she said softly.

He chuckled, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Just thinking.”

“About what?”

He hesitated before answering. “About how weird life can be. One moment, you’re sure of what you want… and then everything changes.”

She tilted her head. “That sounds deep. You okay?”

“Yeah,” he said with a faint smile. “Just… my last art exhibition didn’t go well. I thought it was going to be my big break, but it tanked. Felt like everything I’d worked for just… slipped away.”

Chaewon looked down at her mug. “I get that,” she said quietly. “I used to perform music before moving here. Small gigs, open mics… but after a while, it stopped being fun. I guess I needed to start over, too.”

He glanced at her, eyes softening. “So that’s why you moved here.”

“Yeah,” she said with a small shrug. “New place, new start. Though I didn’t plan on having a roommate who drives me crazy.”

He smiled. “You love it.”

“I tolerate it,” she corrected, but there was a faint blush on her cheeks.

The movie flickered, light dancing across their faces. For a while, neither of them spoke.

Then Y/n leaned back, his voice quieter. “You know, for what it’s worth… I’m glad you moved in.”

Her heart skipped a beat. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he said simply, eyes meeting hers. “It’s been… less quiet.”

She smiled, warmth spreading through her chest. “Guess that makes two of us.” Outside, the rain slowed to a soft drizzle—but inside, it felt like something had just begun.

(The Next Day!)

The next morning, the apartment felt different—warmer somehow.

Chaewon sat at the kitchen counter with her laptop, hair tied in a messy bun, a mug of coffee beside her. She was humming softly, lost in a melody.

Y/n walked in, half-awake, paint smudges still on his arm. “You’re singing again,” he said, voice low and groggy.

“You’re painting before breakfast again,” she replied without looking up.

He smirked. “Touché.”

There was a quiet ease between them now. She handed him his mug—his favorite, the one with a chipped handle—and he accepted it without a word, like it was already routine.

“So,” he said after a sip, “I was thinking about what you said last night. About music.”

“What about it?”

“You should get back into it. Perform again.”

She looked up, surprised. “You think so?”

“Yeah,” he said simply. “You light up when you talk about it.”

Her chest tightened a little. “That’s… actually really sweet, Y/n.”

“Don’t sound so shocked,” he teased. “I can be nice.”

“Occasionally,” she said with a grin.

He was about to reply when her phone buzzed. She glanced at the screen—and froze.

“Who’s Minho?” he asked casually, sipping his coffee.

“No one,” she said a little too fast.

“Ohhh,” he drawled, a teasing glint in his eye. “No one, huh?”

“Mind your own business,” she said, cheeks pink.

“I’m just saying,” he continued with a grin, “if your ‘no one’ keeps texting, I might have to start charging him rent.”

“You’re impossible,” she muttered, throwing a napkin at him.

He caught it easily, laughing. “But you like living with me.”

“Debatable,” she said—but she couldn’t stop smiling.

And as Y/n turned back to his art, Chaewon tried to focus on her music again… though it was a lot harder when her heart wouldn’t stop racing.

~~~~

A week passed, and the chaos of moving in had finally settled. The apartment felt lived-in now — her music sheets scattered on the table, his paint stains on the floor, the faint scent of coffee and acrylics lingering in the air.

That evening, Chaewon sat by the window, strumming her guitar. The melody she’d been working on floated softly through the room — warm, gentle, unfinished.

Y/n looked up from his easel. “That’s new.”

“Yeah,” she said, not turning around. “Still figuring it out.”

“It’s good,” he said. “Different. Feels… honest.”

She smiled faintly. “Thanks. It’s kind of about… starting over, I guess.”

He nodded, dipping his brush into blue. “I get that.”

A few quiet minutes passed — just the hum of music and the brush gliding across canvas. Then, curiosity got the better of her.

“What are you painting?” she asked.

He hesitated. “You’ll laugh.”

“Try me.”

He sighed, gesturing for her to come closer. “Alright, but no teasing.”

She stood, walking over to his easel — and froze.

On the canvas was her. Sitting by the window, guitar in hand, light pouring over her hair like a soft halo. The strokes were delicate, full of color and warmth.

“That’s… me?” she whispered.

“Yeah,” he said quietly. “You looked… peaceful. I just wanted to capture that.”

Her cheeks flushed. “Y/n, it’s beautiful.”

He looked at her then — really looked — and for the first time, she didn’t see the teasing grin or smug smirk. Just sincerity.

“You’re kind of my muse,” he admitted softly.

Chaewon’s heart skipped. “You can’t just say stuff like that,” she muttered, trying to hide her smile.

“Why not? It’s true,” he said simply, still painting.

She looked at the portrait again, her chest warm and full. For the first time since moving in, she realized she didn’t just feel comfortable here. She felt at home.

- The Following Night

The apartment was quiet except for the soft hum of rain tapping against the windows again.

Chaewon couldn’t sleep. She tossed, turned, and finally gave up, slipping out of bed to grab some water.

The living room lights were dim, and to her surprise, Lee Y/n was still awake — sitting on the couch, sketchbook in hand, a blanket draped lazily over his shoulders.

“You’re up late,” she said softly.

He glanced up and smiled faintly. “Could say the same to you.”

“Couldn’t sleep,” she admitted, sitting on the arm of the couch. “You?”

“Same. Too many thoughts.”

She nodded, staring at the rain-streaked window. “About your art?”

“About… everything,” he said quietly. “Life, mistakes, people who somehow make your days less dull.”

She looked at him, catching the tiny smirk he tried to hide. “Was that your way of calling me interesting?”

“Don’t push it,” he teased, but his tone was gentle.

For a moment, silence settled again — but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was the kind that felt safe.

“Hey,” he said suddenly, voice softer now. “Thanks… for sticking around.”

She blinked. “What do you mean?”

“Most people would’ve run off after how we started,” he said with a small laugh. “Guess I’m lucky you didn’t.”

Her heart thudded. “Maybe I just didn’t want to leave you with a mess.”

“Or maybe,” he said, meeting her eyes, “you actually like having me around.”

She scoffed, but her voice wavered. “Keep dreaming.”

He smiled — not the cocky one she was used to, but something softer. “Yeah… maybe I am.”

Their eyes lingered for a second too long, the air between them charged with something unspoken — until a thunderclap broke the spell.

Chaewon quickly stood, brushing her hair behind her ear. “I, uh… should probably go back to bed.”

“Right,” he said, his voice low. “Goodnight, Chaewon.”

“Goodnight, Y/n.”

As she closed her door, her hand lingered on the knob, heart racing. She could still feel his gaze — warm, quiet, and heavy with something she didn’t quite have the courage to name.

- The Following Morning

The next morning came with sunlight spilling through the blinds — too bright, too normal for how fast Chaewon’s heart was still beating.

She took her time getting ready, hoping Y/n would still be asleep. No such luck.

He was already in the kitchen, hair messy, hoodie half-zipped, humming quietly as he poured coffee.

“Morning,” he said without looking up.

“Morning,” she replied, her voice softer than usual. She grabbed a mug, careful not to meet his eyes.

The silence stretched, heavier than usual — not awkward, exactly, but full of everything left unsaid from last night.

“You sleep okay?” he asked, glancing at her.

“Yeah,” she lied quickly. “You?”

“Eventually,” he said with a faint smile. “Kept thinking about—” He stopped himself mid-sentence.

“About?” she asked, raising a brow.

“Uh… the painting,” he said, taking a quick sip of coffee.

“Right,” she said, pretending to believe him. “The painting.”

They both looked away at the same time, cheeks tinged with color.

A beat passed, then Y/n broke the silence. “Hey… about last night—”

“Nothing happened!” she blurted out, way too fast.

He blinked. “Didn’t say it did.”

“Right. I just—uh—making sure you didn’t, you know, think anything happened.”

“Uh-huh,” he said, fighting a grin. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“You’re impossible,” she muttered, turning away — but he caught the tiny smile on her face.

As she walked toward her room, he called out, “Hey, Chaewon?”

She paused, looking over her shoulder.

“That song you were humming last night,” he said. “You should finish it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he said with a small, genuine smile. “It suits you.”

Her chest tightened again — that same flutter from before. “Thanks,” she said quietly, disappearing into her room.

Y/n watched the door close, exhaling a soft laugh to himself.

“Yeah,” he murmured under his breath, “definitely not just roommates anymore.”

~~~

The days slipped by quietly after that morning, each one blurring into the next. They had fallen into a rhythm—morning coffee, separate work, shared dinners, and those long, quiet nights where neither wanted to admit how much they looked forward to them.

That Friday evening, the apartment was calm. A gentle tune hummed from Chaewon’s speaker as she tuned her guitar. Y/n sat across from her on the floor, sketching something in his notebook.

“You’ve been working on that for hours,” she said, strumming a chord. “What is it this time?”

“Just sketching ideas,” he replied. “You’ll make fun of me if I show you.”

“No, I won’t,” she promised, smiling. “Probably.”

He shot her a look, but handed her the sketchbook anyway.

Her breath caught. It wasn’t just a drawing—it was her again. But this time, she wasn’t sitting by the window. She was on the couch, guitar in her lap, head turned slightly toward the light. It looked… alive.

“Y/n…” she whispered. “It’s beautiful.”

He shrugged, trying to play it off. “You make it easy to draw.”

Her heart skipped. “You really need to stop saying things like that,” she muttered.

“Why?” he asked, meeting her gaze. “Because they sound like I mean them?”

The room fell quiet. The song playing in the background faded into the hum of the city outside.

She looked away first, cheeks warm. “You’re impossible.”

“Maybe,” he said softly, setting his pencil down. “But you don’t look away when I draw you anymore.”

Chaewon swallowed, unsure what to say. Her fingers trembled slightly on the guitar strings. “Maybe I’m getting used to it,” she murmured.

He leaned back, studying her face, his tone lower now. “Or maybe you’re not scared to let someone see you anymore.”

She froze, her chest tightening. He wasn’t smiling this time. He wasn’t teasing. He was just… honest.

“Y/n…”

“Yeah?”

“If you keep saying stuff like that…” she said quietly, “I won’t know how to stop thinking about you.”

His eyes widened just slightly—but before he could reply, her phone buzzed again on the table. The moment shattered.

She stood quickly, flustered. “I—I should get that.”

He nodded, eyes following her as she walked away.

The unfinished song still lingered between them—soft, delicate, and full of everything they didn’t quite have the courage to say.

~~~

The night air was thick with quiet.

Chaewon stood in her room, phone in hand, staring blankly at the message from Minho: “Still thinking about you. Hope you’re doing okay.”

She sighed and locked the screen, tossing the phone onto her bed. It wasn’t that she didn’t care—it was just that things felt… different now. Especially after what Y/n had said.

She left her room to clear her head—and found him standing by the balcony, sketchbook in hand, looking out at the city lights.

“You’re still up?” she asked quietly.

“Couldn’t sleep,” he said without turning. “You?”

“Same.”

She walked closer, the cool night breeze brushing past them. For a moment, neither spoke.

“That guy who texted,” he said suddenly. “Is he… someone important?”

Chaewon blinked, caught off guard. “Minho? No. Not anymore.”

He nodded slowly. “Good.”

She frowned. “Good?”

“Yeah,” he said, turning to meet her eyes. “Because it’d really suck if I was starting to fall for someone who wasn’t available.”

Her breath caught. “Y/n…”

He took a hesitant step closer. “I know it’s sudden. And maybe it’s stupid. But every time you walk into a room, I can’t focus on anything else. You’re loud, stubborn, messy as hell—”

“Wow, way to make a girl feel special,” she interrupted, heart racing.

He laughed softly, eyes warm. “—but you make this place feel like home. And I haven’t felt that in a long time.”

She froze, words caught in her throat. All the teasing, the late nights, the quiet smiles—it all clicked.

“You really mean that?” she asked.

“Every word.”

The city lights flickered between them, reflections dancing in their eyes. Slowly, almost without realizing it, she stepped closer.

“Then you should probably kiss me before I overthink this,” she whispered.

He smiled, soft and certain. “Wasn’t planning on waiting.”

And just like that, the distance vanished.

The noise of the city melted away, replaced by the quiet rhythm of two hearts finally beating in sync.

When they pulled apart, Chaewon’s cheeks were flushed, her voice barely above a whisper.

“You’re still kind of a jerk, you know.”

“Yeah,” Y/n said, grinning. “But now I’m your jerk.”

She laughed softly, leaning her forehead against his. “Guess I can live with that.”

~~~

Morning light streamed through the curtains, brushing across the living room. The air felt different — softer, quieter, charged with the memory of last night.

Chaewon stirred awake on the couch, realizing she’d fallen asleep there after… that. Her heart skipped at the thought. Did that really happen?

“Morning,” came a voice from the kitchen.

She sat up quickly, nearly knocking over a cushion. “Oh—uh, morning.”

Y/n stood there, hair a mess, wearing the same hoodie from last night. He held two mugs of coffee — and a look that was somewhere between shy and amused.

“You sleep okay?” he asked, setting one mug down in front of her.

“Yeah. I think,” she said, still flustered. “You?”

“Barely,” he admitted with a small smile. “Kept replaying… uh—never mind.”

She blushed immediately. “You mean the—”

“Yep,” he interrupted quickly, taking a long sip of his coffee.

They sat in silence for a moment, both pretending to be way too focused on their mugs.

“So,” she started, trying to sound casual. “That kiss…”

“Yeah?”

“It wasn’t—uh—a roommate thing, right?” she asked carefully.

He chuckled softly, leaning against the counter. “Pretty sure roommates don’t usually kiss like that.”

“Good,” she said before she could stop herself.

He grinned. “Good?”

“I mean—not good good, just… you know what I mean!” she stammered, hiding her face in her hands.

Y/n laughed quietly, setting his coffee down and moving closer. “You’re cute when you’re flustered

“And you’re impossible,” she muttered, but didn’t move away when he sat beside her.

“Maybe,” he said with a small smile. “But now I’m your impossible.”

She rolled her eyes, trying to suppress a grin. “If you keep saying things like that, I might actually start liking you.”

“Might?” he teased.

“Don’t push it,” she said — but the blush on her cheeks gave her away.

And as they sat there, laughing softly over coffee, the air between them finally felt easy — like love had quietly found its place in the middle of their chaos.

~~~

Three weeks later, Apartment 54 looked… lived in. Half-finished canvases leaned against the wall, a pile of guitar picks sat on the coffee table, and there was always music playing — either Chaewon’s humming or Y/n’s soft tapping of a brush against glass.

They’d fallen into a rhythm that felt easy and right.

“You’re using my mug again,” Chaewon said one morning, hands on her hips.

Y/n looked up from the stove, feigning confusion. “Your mug?”

“Yes, the blue one with the tiny crack. You said it was cursed!”

“Well,” he said, handing her a plate of pancakes, “guess I wanted to test my luck.”

“Unbelievable,” she muttered — but she smiled as she took the plate.

Later that afternoon, Y/n painted while Chaewon recorded vocals in her small setup. Through the wall, he could hear her laughing at her own mistakes, starting over again and again. It made him smile — the sound of her voice had become the heartbeat of the apartment.

Around sunset, she wandered into his art room, curious as always. “Working on another masterpiece?”

“Maybe,” he said, brushing a line of gold across the canvas. “Want to see?”

She leaned over — and froze. It was a painting of two mugs sitting side by side on the kitchen counter. Her cursed blue one… and his chipped gray one.

“You painted our mugs?” she asked softly.

He shrugged. “They looked right together.”

Her heart swelled, caught somewhere between laughter and tears. “You’re such a sap.”

“You love it,” he said, smiling.

“Yeah,” she admitted quietly. “I really do.”

He reached out, brushing a bit of paint off her cheek. “You’ve got color on you.”

“You did that on purpose,” she said, narrowing her eyes.

“Maybe,” he teased.

“Oh, you’re so—” she lunged for him, smearing a streak of blue across his jaw.

“Hey!” he laughed, dodging but failing miserably. In seconds, it turned into a full-blown paint war — laughter echoing through the apartment.

When they finally stopped, breathless and messy, Chaewon looked at him, her voice softer.

“You know,” she said, “I think this apartment really is perfect now.”

“Yeah?” he said, smiling. “Why’s that?”

“Because you’re in it.”

He smiled back, eyes warm. “Guess that makes two of us.”

Outside, the evening light bathed the room in gold. Inside, the chaos of paint and laughter felt like home.

~~~~

A few months later, Apartment 54 had changed again.

Not physically — the same canvases lined the walls, the same guitar rested by the couch — but it felt different. There was something unspoken in the air lately, a quiet tension beneath the laughter.

Chaewon sat at the table, scrolling through her emails. Her eyes landed on one from a small music studio — the kind of opportunity she’d dreamed about. They wanted her to record a demo. In Busan.

“Hey,” Y/n said from the other room, breaking her train of thought. “You’ve been quiet all morning.”

“Just… reading something,” she replied quickly, closing her laptop.

He walked in, paint still on his hands, curiosity written all over his face. “Something good?”

“Yeah. Maybe. A studio wants me to record a song. But it’s in Busan.”

He smiled, proud. “That’s amazing, Chaewon!”

“It’s only for a few weeks,” she said carefully. “But they want me to move there if it goes well.”

His smile faltered, just a little. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Silence settled — heavy and uncertain.

“You should do it,” Y/n said finally, forcing a smile. “This is your dream.”

“I know,” she said quietly. “I just… didn’t think it would come this soon.”

“Hey,” he said, stepping closer. “We’ll figure it out. Long distance isn’t impossible.”

She looked at him, eyes soft. “You say that now, but what if it changes everything?”

“Then we’ll change together,” he said simply.

Chaewon smiled, but something inside her still twisted.

Later that night, she found Y/n on the balcony, staring out at the city. The sketchbook lay open beside him — but instead of drawing, he’d written something.

“What’s that?” she asked.

He closed it quickly, smiling. “Nothing. Just… thinking again.”

“About me leaving?”

“About us,” he admitted. “I want you to chase your dream. I just wish it didn’t mean chasing you from far away.”

She reached out, taking his paint-stained hand in hers. “You won’t lose me, Y/n.”

He squeezed her hand gently. “You promise?”

“I promise.”

The night stretched quiet and still — full of love, fear, and everything in between.

Neither of them said it aloud, but they both knew:

Sometimes the hardest part of loving someone is learning when to let them fly.

~~~~

The day Chaewon left, the apartment felt empty.

Her laughter no longer echoed through the hall, and Y/n found himself pausing mid-brushstroke, expecting to hear her humming from the other room. But there was only silence.

She texted him when she arrived in Busan:

Chaewon: Landed safe. The studio’s smaller than I thought, but it feels right.

Y/n: Good. Don’t forget to eat, okay? And send me your new song when you finish it.

Chaewon: Bossy as ever. Miss you already.

He smiled at the screen for longer than he’d admit.

Days passed, and their messages turned into nightly video calls. She’d tell him about long recording hours and ramen dinners, and he’d show her the new paintings he’d started—one of which, she eventually noticed, had her reflection hidden in the background.

“You painted me again,” she said one night, laughing.

“I keep trying not to,” he said, “but you sneak in anyway.”

Her smile softened. “You’re such a sap.”

“You love it,” he teased, but his voice was quiet, careful.

Weeks turned into a month. Her song began to gain traction online, small but steady, and she started spending more time at the studio. Calls became shorter. Texts took longer to arrive.

One evening, Y/n sat on the balcony with his phone, typing and deleting the same message over and over.

I miss you.

He finally hit send.

It took an hour before her reply came.

Chaewon: I miss you too. I’m sorry I’ve been busy. Things are getting crazy here.

Y/n: Don’t apologize. You’re doing amazing.

He meant it — but when he looked at the empty couch where she used to sit, the words hurt a little.

A few days later, she sent a voice message instead of a text. Her tone was soft, tired, but warm.

“Hey… I listened to one of your old recordings today — the one with the guitar near the window. I miss that sound. I miss home. I miss you.”

Y/n closed his eyes, the ache in his chest melting into a quiet smile.

“Then come back soon,” he whispered to himself.

Outside, the night was still — but for the first time in weeks, he picked up his brush again. This time, he painted not just her image… but the space between them.

~~~~

The train from Busan to Seoul rattled softly, the hum of the tracks matching the rhythm in Chaewon’s chest. Months had passed since she left — months of new faces, music sessions, and long nights staring at her phone, missing the sound of his voice.

Her song had taken off more than she expected. The studio wanted her full-time now, but the one thing she couldn’t stop thinking about wasn’t her music.

It was Y/n.

When the train finally stopped, she exhaled a shaky breath and whispered to herself, “Home.”

⸻

The key still fit perfectly in the lock.

Apartment 54 smelled exactly the same — faint coffee, paint, and something that was just him.

“Hello?” she called softly.

From the art room, a familiar voice answered. “Chaewon?”

He appeared in the doorway, paint still on his hands, looking both stunned and relieved all at once.

“You’re… back,” he said, almost afraid to believe it.

She nodded, smiling nervously. “Surprise.”

For a moment, neither moved. Then he stepped forward, closing the distance. She barely had time to breathe before his arms were around her.

“You have no idea how much I missed you,” Y/n murmured against her hair.

She laughed softly, clutching him back. “I think I do.”

When they finally pulled apart, his eyes lingered on her face — the tiredness from travel, the sparkle of happiness she tried to hide.

“You look different,” he said. “Happier.”

“Busan will do that to you,” she teased. “But… I missed this.”

“The paint smell or me?”

“Both,” she said, smiling.

⸻

That night, they sat on the balcony again — the same spot where he’d once told her he was falling for her.

“How was it?” he asked.

“Amazing,” she said honestly. “Terrifying too. But I learned a lot. About music… and about what I really want.”

“And what’s that?” he asked softly.

She looked at him, eyes glinting in the city light. “To keep making music. But not alone.”

He smiled — the kind that reached his eyes this time. “You mean…?”

“I mean you,” she said simply. “Home didn’t feel like home without you in it.”

Y/n took her hand gently, thumb brushing her skin. “Then don’t leave again.”

She squeezed his hand. “Not unless you come with me.”

The city below seemed to fade away — just two people, one promise, and the warmth of a love that had quietly waited to be rediscovered.

And for the first time in months, both of them knew:

They were exactly where they were meant to be.

~~~~

A year had passed since the day Chaewon came back to Apartment 54.

The place had changed again — not from new furniture or paint, but from life. From laughter that filled the rooms, from music that blended with the soft scent of acrylics, from the quiet warmth of two hearts that had finally found their rhythm.

Chaewon’s song — the one she wrote during her nights in Busan — had gone viral. She still couldn’t quite believe it. Fans sent her messages about how it “felt like home,” and every time she read one, she’d glance at Y/n, who always smiled knowingly.

He’d opened a small art studio downtown. Sometimes, people would stop to ask about the portraits displayed in the window — the girl with the gentle smile, the paint-stained hands, the spark in her eyes.

“That’s my muse,” he’d say simply.

They still argued — about laundry, about who finished the coffee, about whose turn it was to take out the trash — but those tiny moments had become part of their rhythm. Their chaos. Their love.

One evening, as the golden hour painted the room in soft orange light, Chaewon sat by the window, strumming her guitar.

“What are you working on?” Y/n asked, leaning against the doorframe.

“A new song,” she said, smiling. “About us.”

“Yeah?” he asked, grinning. “Should I be nervous?”

“A little,” she teased. “It’s about a girl who moved into an apartment with a total jerk.”

“Ah. Sounds familiar.”

“Don’t worry,” she said, eyes twinkling. “He turns out to be the love of her life.”

He laughed, crossing the room to kiss her forehead. “I like how it ends.”

“Me too.”

She started playing again — soft, steady chords that filled the apartment with warmth.

Y/n picked up his sketchbook, sitting beside her on the floor, drawing while she sang.

Two creators, two dreamers, two hearts that had collided by accident and stayed by choice.

Outside, the city moved on — busy, loud, endless.

But inside Apartment 54, time slowed.

Home wasn’t just walls or windows anymore.

It was them.

~~~~

The End!🥲

My first Ever Fic!!!! A fluff to start the launch of new writer! Smuts will be written too so don’t worry!😉

-

The hospital is a blur of sterile white walls and harsh fluorescent lights. The antiseptic smell fills your nostrils as you rush through the corridors, searching for the right room. Your chest feels tight, your breaths shallow. Kazuha meets you outside, her face pale and her hands trembling slightly.

“She’s stable,” Kazuha says quickly, trying to reassure you. “But she hit her head pretty hard. The doctors are saying she might have some memory loss.”

“Memory…loss?” The words barely register as you push past her and into the room.

Chaewon lies on the bed, her face pale and peaceful in a way that feels wrong. A bandage is wrapped around her head, a stark white contrast against her dark hair. You approach her slowly, your steps hesitant.

“Chae?” you whisper, sitting down beside her. Her lashes flutter, and she stirs slightly before her eyes open. Relief floods through you as you lean closer.

“You’re awake,” you say, your voice trembling. “Thank god. You’re okay.”

Her eyes blink slowly, focusing on you. For a moment, it feels like everything will be fine. But then her brow furrows, and she tilts her head slightly.

“Who… are you?” she asks, her voice soft but filled with confusion.

You blink, frozen in place. Her words echo in your mind: Who… are you?

Kazuha places a hand on your shoulder, squeezing gently. “Y/N, let’s step outside for a moment. The doctor wants to talk to you.”

Your gaze lingers on Chaewon’s confused expression, and you force a shaky smile. “I’ll be right back,” you whisper, your voice barely audible.

She nods faintly, though you can tell she’s unsure why you’re even here. Her eyes flicker to Kazuha for a brief moment before she leans back against the pillows, exhaustion taking over.

Once you’re out in the hallway, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. The doctor approaches, a clipboard in hand and a calm but professional demeanour.

“You must be Y/N,” he says. “I’m Dr. Park. I’ve been handling Ms. Kim's case.”

"Ah yea, evening Doc." You nod, gripping the hem of your shirt nervously. “What’s… what’s wrong with her? Is she going to be okay?”

“She’s stable,” he reassures you, glancing at his notes. “But as you might have guessed, the head trauma has caused some memory loss. From our initial tests, it appears she’s unable to recall the past two years.”

“T-two years?” You repeat, your voice trembling. You glance through the small window into her room, watching as Chaewon lies there, her face serene and unaware.

Dr. Park nods. “This type of retrograde amnesia isn’t uncommon in cases like hers. The memories she’s lost may come back over time, or they might not. For now, it’s best not to push her to remember. Stress could make her condition worse.”

“Does she know… does she know anything about me?” you ask hesitantly.

The doctor hesitates. “She remembers people and events prior to the memory gap clearly. But anyone she’s met in the last two years, including you… I’m afraid you’ll be a stranger to her.”

His words hit you harder than you expect, but you nod, trying to keep your expression neutral. “So, what should I do? How do I… help her?”

“Take things slow,” he advises. “Reintroduce yourself as someone here to support her. Let her regain her sense of normalcy first. The rest will come with time, if it’s meant to.”

You thank him quietly, your mind racing. A strange mix of relief and uncertainty bubbles within you. She doesn’t remember the fights, the sharp words, the constant tension—but she also doesn’t remember the good moments, the times when you thought there was still hope.

A part of you feels like this is a reset button, a rare chance to start over. But another part can’t shake the hollow ache of being erased from her life so completely.

You take a steadying breath before walking back into the room. Chaewon’s eyes flit to you as you enter, her expression unreadable.

“Hey,” you say softly, pulling a chair closer to her bedside.

She tilts her head, studying you carefully. “You… You’re Kazuha’s friend, right?”

You glance at Kazuha, who gives you a subtle nod of encouragement from the doorway. Turning back to Chaewon, you force a small smile. “Yeah. I’m just… here to help however I can.”

Chaewon seems to accept this, though the skepticism in her eyes remains. “Thanks, I guess,” she mutters, her voice laced with tiredness.

As she closes her eyes to rest, you lean back in the chair, letting out a slow breath. A small part of you feels lighter than you have in months. No arguments, no cutting remarks—just quiet. Peaceful, even.

But as you watch her, the weight of her blank stare still lingers in your chest. The person you love doesn’t know who you are. And yet, you can’t help but think: maybe this is a chance to show her a version of yourself she could love all over again.

For now, you let the hope settle, hidden behind the mask of quiet sadness you wear for her sake.

-

The week passes in a blur. Chaewon’s recovery is faster than anyone expected. Physically, she’s almost back to normal, but the gap in her memory remains. You watch her adjust to this new reality, navigating her day-to-day life with a mix of determination and frustration.

True to the doctor’s advice, you’ve been patient, reintroducing yourself as a supportive figure in her life without overwhelming her. She accepts your presence without question—polite, a little guarded, but far removed from the sharp-tongued firecracker you’ve known for so long.

Her management team decided it would be best for Chaewon to ease back into her idol activities gradually. You accompany her, not as her partner, but as someone who can help with her day-to-day needs. Kazuha and Sakura are visibly relieved to have you there, knowing how well you understand Chaewon’s habits.

On set, Chaewon is a model of professionalism. She’s diligent, respectful, and surprisingly soft-spoken. When she doesn’t understand something—a choreography move, a filming cue—she asks politely instead of figuring it out on her own like she used to.

“It’s weird,” she admits to you one evening, fiddling with the hem of her sweatshirt. “I don’t remember the last two years, but I still know all the lyrics and choreography. It’s like muscle memory, I guess.”

You smile faintly from where you’re sitting across the room. “That’s a good thing, right? At least it’s one less thing to stress about.”

She nods, her brows furrowing. “I guess. But it feels like I’m walking into someone else’s life. Like, who was I? Was I…” She pauses, searching for the right words. “Was I any good at it?”

You hesitate, a pang of guilt twisting in your chest. She was more than good—she was extraordinary. But her fiery ambition often bled into her personal life, creating the tension that had defined your relationship. Now, all you see is a softer, more vulnerable Chaewon.

“You were great,” you say finally. “Still are.”

Her lips twitch into a small smile, and for once, there’s no sharp remark to follow it.

You’re there in the background, watching as she joined with her members, laughs softly at their jokes, and engages with fans with genuine warmth. It’s such a far cry from the Chaewon who used to tease you mercilessly or snap when she was stressed.

-

At first, it’s disorienting.

One afternoon, as you help her organize a stack of photo cards at a fan sign event, she flashes you a small, almost shy smile.

“Thanks,” she says quietly, her tone devoid of the usual edge you once expected.

You nearly drop the cards. “No problem,” you manage, your voice awkward.

She doesn’t seem to notice, already turning back to greet the next fan with her signature smile.

Another day at their practice room, you accompany her under the pretence of helping her settle back in. The truth is, you just want to see this new side of her in action.

Chaewon seems… different. Lighter. She laughs with her members more, her usual sharp edge replaced by something softer. You watch from the corner of the practice room as she playfully ruffles Eunchae’s hair, earning a squeal of protest from the younger girl.

“Unnie, stop!” Eunchae whines, swatting Chaewon’s hand away.

Chaewon grins, her eyes crinkling in that familiar way that always made your heart skip a beat. “What? I’m just making sure our maknae looks her best.”

The rest of the group chuckles, and you find yourself smiling too. It’s a scene you’d rarely witnessed before, where Chaewon seems completely at ease with herself and those around her.

During their lunch break, Kazuha sits beside you, nudging your shoulder. “You’ve been staring at her a lot.”

You blink, caught off guard. “Have I…?”

Kazuha smirks. “Yeah. You look like you’re seeing a whole new Chaewon.”

You glance at Chaewon, who’s currently chatting animatedly with Sakura and Yunjin. “Maybe I am,” you admit quietly.

Kazuha’s expression softens. “It’s good, right? This version of her?”

You nod. “Yeah. It’s… it’s really good.”

-

By the end of the week, you’re starting to notice the cracks in your own resolve.

You don’t miss the fights—not the arguments or the hurtful words or the way she could turn a perfectly fine evening into a battlefield. What you do miss is the spark.

Chaewon’s teasing, for all its rough edges, had always carried a certain energy. There was a wit to her remarks, a confidence that made everything she said hit just the right spot between infuriating and endearing. You used to catch her smirking at you when she thought you weren’t looking, as if she enjoyed seeing how far she could push your buttons.

Now, she’s… gentle. Easy to be around. And yet, you find yourself yearning for the banter, the fire that kept you on your toes.

It’s a strange contradiction. You enjoy this new version of her, free from the biting remarks and the heavy tension that used to hang between you. But in quiet moments, when she’s busy scrolling through her phone or practicing her vocals, you find yourself wondering if she’d ever smirk at you again.

One evening, after a particularly long day of rehearsals, you’re both sitting in her apartment. Chaewon is sprawled out on the couch, her hair still damp from a quick shower. You’re at the kitchen counter, making tea.

“Y/N,” she calls out suddenly, her voice soft but clear.

You glance over. “Yeah?”

“Why do you always help me?” she asks, her tone genuinely curious.

You pause, gripping the handle of the kettle. “What do you mean?”

She shrugs, sitting up. “You don’t owe me anything. But you’re always here, even when I forget things or need help with stupid stuff. It’s… nice, but I don’t get it.”

Her words catch you off guard. For a moment, you don’t know how to respond.

“I just… care,” you say finally, avoiding her gaze. “I’m here because I want to be, not because I have to be.”

She doesn’t say anything right away. When you glance at her, she’s watching you with an expression you can’t quite place—curiosity mixed with something softer, almost vulnerable.

“Thanks,” she says again, quieter this time.

You nod, busying yourself with the tea to hide the lump forming in your throat.

Later that night, as you lie awake on the couch, you can’t help but reflect on how far things have come—and how much has changed.

This new Chaewon is someone you could fall for all over again. She’s kinder, gentler, more open in ways you never expected. But there’s a part of you that aches for the old Chaewon too—the one who used to challenge you, frustrate you, and make you laugh in ways no one else could.

It’s a bittersweet thought, knowing you may never get her back the way she was. But as you close your eyes, you remind yourself that this is a new beginning, a chance to love her for who she is now, not who she used to be.

And as you began to fall asleep, you can’t help but wonder how long this fragile peace will last.

-

The days slip by in a strange rhythm, where you’re never quite sure who you’ll see when you look at Chaewon.

At times, it’s like she’s still the same—sweet, easy-going, even a little shy around you. But other times, the fire you remember from before flares up unexpectedly, like a switch flipping.

You’ve gotten used to the gentle, more compliant Chaewon, the one who asks you for help with every little thing. But when her old personality slips through—when she’s sharp, playful, and downright teasing—it’s like the rug gets pulled out from under you.

One morning, you’re getting ready to leave the apartment. Chaewon is sitting on the couch, fiddling with her phone. You make your way toward the door, your keys in hand.

“Hey,” she says, her voice low and almost playful.

You stop and turn, raising an eyebrow. “Yeah?”

Her eyes glint mischievously as she leans back on the couch, crossing her arms. “You know, you’re kinda cute when you’re all flustered.”

Your stomach does a nervous flip. “What are you talking about?” You laugh awkwardly, glancing away.

She smirks, the old Chaewon you’ve missed suddenly making an appearance. “The way you get all nervous around me when I say things like that. It’s cute. I think I might start teasing you more.”

Your heart races, half amused and half unsettled. “Chae…” You try to act annoyed, but your tone betrays you. “You don’t even remember me. What do you mean by that?”

She tilts her head, eyes narrowing with something you can’t quite read. “Maybe I don’t remember all the details, but I remember you. The guy who’s always around, always hovering, always trying to help. How could I forget you?”

Your breath catches, a flutter of hope igniting in your chest. But before you can respond, she bursts out laughing. “Just kidding, Y/N. But seriously, don’t you get it? You’re like an open book. So easy to tease.”

It feels like an old routine—one you know well. You grin despite yourself, but the warmth in your chest quickly fades into the familiar uncertainty. Was this just a moment of her old self slipping through, or was it something more?

She gets up, not waiting for an answer, her usual carefree confidence taking over once again. “You should get going. I don’t want you to be late.”

And just like that, the teasing fades, and she’s back to the softer version of herself. You stand there, still feeling the aftershock of the teasing and the warmth from that brief return to the Chaewon you used to know.

-

Later that week, you’re both at a recording studio for LE SSERAFIM’s comeback preparations.

Chaewon is focused on the choreography, her movements deliberate but careful. You’re sitting in the corner of the room, watching her with a quiet sense of pride, when she suddenly stumbles over a step, losing her balance for a moment.

You instinctively stand up, ready to rush over, but she waves you off with a dismissive hand. “I’m fine,” she mutters, brushing her hair out of her face. “Don’t act like you’re my manager or something.”

Your jaw tightens, the familiar spark of annoyance bubbling up inside you. “Chae, I’m just trying to help.”

She glances up at you, her expression sharp, almost a little… cruel. “Stop acting like I need you to. I’m perfectly capable of doing things on my own.”

You freeze. This is the Chaewon you remember—the one who never asked for help, the one who got irritated when anyone tried to make things easier for her.

For a moment, you forget that she doesn’t remember everything, and your heart sinks. You had hoped this version of her was gone, that the softer, gentler Chaewon would be the one to stay. But here she is, slipping back into her old self, the one who pushed you away when you tried to get close.

“Okay,” you say quietly, masking the hurt in your voice. “I’ll stay out of your way then.”

You sit back down, your hands resting in your lap as the silence stretches between you. Chaewon doesn’t say anything more, but there’s a tension in the air that wasn’t there before.

-

Over the next few days, these shifts continue. Sometimes, she’s the easy-going Chaewon you’ve gotten used to—polite, soft-spoken, even a little shy in her interactions with you. Other times, she snaps, teasing you with a bite in her words that leaves you reeling, or she’ll shut down, acting distant and cold.

You can’t predict when the old Chaewon will emerge, and it’s disorienting. It’s like she’s two people, and you’re not sure which one you’re going to face each day.

But then, one evening, she surprises you again.

You’re sitting on the couch together, both too tired to say much after a long day of practice. The quiet isn’t uncomfortable, but it’s heavy.

Chaewon’s smile widens, but it’s different this time—not as teasing or sharp. It’s softer, almost tender, like she’s rediscovering something she once knew. She leans back against the couch, her gaze drifting to the ceiling, her thoughts seemingly miles away.

“I think I’m starting to remember more,” she says, her voice almost inaudible.

You freeze, a flutter of hope stirring in your chest. “Remember more?”

She looks at you, a faint smile still tugging at her lips. “Yeah. The old me. The one who used to—” Her words trail off, as if she’s still piecing things together in her mind. “Maybe I was a little too much sometimes… difficult. But I think I’m figuring out who I really am now.”

The words hit you harder than you expect. There’s something almost melancholic in the way she speaks, a quiet acknowledgment of her past, yet also a sense of self-awareness in the present.

You stay silent, watching her closely. There’s no sharp retort, no teasing grin to follow. For a moment, you just exist in this space, caught between who Chaewon was and who she’s becoming.

For a while, neither of you speaks. But you know—no matter which version of her you get, the part of her that’s still here, right now, is still the Chaewon you care about. Maybe it’s not the same, and maybe it never will be, but that doesn’t make it any less real. And for now, that’s enough.

-

It starts innocently enough—a rare free day where you and Chaewon decide to hang out in your apartment. She’s lounging on the couch, scrolling through her phone, while you’re in the kitchen attempting to make lunch. Everything is blissfully normal until you hear her gasp dramatically.

“YAAAA!” she shouts, the intensity of her voice startling you so much that you nearly drop the spatula.

“What? What happened?” you ask, rushing into the living room, half-expecting to see something catastrophic.

Chaewon’s eyes narrow as she points accusingly at you with her phone. “How could you?”

You blink, utterly confused. “How could I… what?”

Her face twists in mock devastation as she waves her phone like it’s evidence in a court case. “I was looking through old photos, and you were smiling way too much in the pictures we took during my memory loss phase.”

You stare at her, waiting for the punchline, but she looks genuinely offended. “What does that even mean?”

“It means,” she says, sitting up and glaring at you, “that you clearly liked her more than me. Admit it!”

You pinch the bridge of your nose, trying to process the absurdity of the situation. “Chae, you are her. It’s literally still you.”

“But it’s not me!” she insists, crossing her arms and pouting. “That version of me was sweet and soft and totally not me. You liked her better because she wasn’t mean to you, didn’t she?”

“I—what?” you stammer, completely thrown off. “No! I mean, she was nice, sure, but I didn’t like her better! It’s the same person, Chae!”

“Liar!” she exclaims, standing up and stomping over to you. “You probably enjoyed having her dote on you, didn’t you? Bet you didn’t even miss the real me at all!”

You take a cautious step back, holding your hands up defensively. “I did miss you! And I didn’t cheat on you with... you! That doesn’t even make sense!”

Chaewon huffs, her jealousy reaching peak absurdity. “Oh, it makes perfect sense. I leave for a few weeks mentally, and you’re out here having the time of your life with some soft, clingy version of me. Unbelievable!”

She pokes your chest, her expression a mix of irritation and… something else. “Admit it! You liked how she was all shy and asked for help, didn’t you? Bet you enjoyed being the big, helpful boyfriend for once instead of dealing with me!”

You can’t help it—you burst out laughing. The whole situation is so ridiculous you can’t take it seriously anymore.

“Chaewon, do you hear yourself right now? You’re jealous of yourself.”

Her cheeks flush, and she smacks your arm. “Don’t laugh! This is serious! I’m trying to have a heartfelt moment here.”

“Heartfelt?” you repeat between laughs. “You’re accusing me of emotionally cheating on you with another version of you. That’s not heartfelt—that’s a sitcom plot!”

Chaewon’s pout deepens, but there’s a hint of a smile threatening to break through her faux anger. “Well… maybe I’m a little jealous, okay? You didn’t seem to miss me as much as I thought you would.”

You sigh, shaking your head in exasperation. “Chaewon, I missed you every single day. The real you.”

Her glare falters, but she doesn’t back down. Instead, she crosses her arms and looks away, pouting. “You’re just saying that to get out of trouble.”

You take a cautious step closer, tilting your head to catch her eye. “Trouble for what? Loving my girlfriend, no matter which version of her I get?”

She glances at you, her pout softening slightly. “You’re lucky you’re cute,” she mutters under her breath.

Just as you’re about to breathe a sigh of relief, she surprises you by grabbing your shirt and pulling you down to her level. Her lips crash against yours in a kiss so sudden and intense that your brain short-circuits.

When she finally pulls away, she’s still glaring, but there’s a faint blush on her cheeks. “That’s so you don’t forget who you really belong to.”

Before you can respond, she kisses you again, her hands tangling in your hair as if staking her claim. “Chae—”

“Shut up,” she murmurs against your lips. “I’m still mad.”

You can’t help but laugh, your hands settling on her waist. “You don’t seem that mad to me.”

“Don’t push your luck,” she warns, but there’s no real heat in her voice.

By the time she lets you go, you’re both out of breath, and the tension has melted away entirely. She steps back, her arms still crossed, but there’s a sheepish smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

“So,” you say, trying to catch your breath, “are we good now? Or should I prepare for another interrogation about cheating on you with… you?”

She rolls her eyes but leans into your chest, her head resting against you. “We’re good. But if I ever catch you looking at ‘soft Chaewon’ like that again, we’re going to have words.”

You chuckle, wrapping your arms around her. “Noted. But for the record, I love you—sharp edges and all.”

She looks up at you, her smile softening. “Good. Because you’re stuck with me, no matter which version of me shows up.”

Maybe you’ve been accused of cheating, maybe it’s all completely ridiculous, but in that moment, you can’t help but love her even more—especially when she’s acting like her old, impossible self.

you woke up to a trainwreck of migraines. you tried to get out of bed, only to find out that every single muscle in your body was sore.

you groaned—there was no way you could go to dance practice in this state.

you quickly thumbed a message on the groupchat: im sick. i can’t make it to practice tdy

you threw your phone somewhere on your bed and closed your eyes, your eyelids feeling heavy.

–

you had almost started drifting back to sleep when footsteps sounded towards your room.

chaewon peeked her head in, a plastic bag in her hands.

“can i come in?”

“sure,” you croaked, immediately wincing at the roughness in your throat.

she sat on your bedside, careful not to jostle the blankets. her chest tightened at how small you looked under the sheets. 

“don’t you have to go to dance practice?” you whispered, leaning into her touch as she brushed your hair away from your face.

she shook her head gently. “i told them to practice without us. there’s no way i’m going to leave you alone when you’re sick.” 

chaewon reached in her plastic bag and pulled out a vial of medicine. 

“open.”

you swallowed the disgusting cough syrup, gagging a little as you did so.

“good girl,” she cooed softly. she didn’t fail to notice the light blush that dusted your cheeks (though you blamed it on the fever, of course). 

she tucked the blanket closer to your body, noticing how your body shivered uncontrollably. 

when she pulled her hand back, your fingers curled around her sleeve without thinking. 

“stay,” you mumbled.

chaewon’s heart melted at your gesture. “i’m not going anywhere.” 

“you promise?” you were starting to feel a little sleepy again, the medicine having taken its effect 

____________________

The sun had barely risen, and the dorm was quiet except for the faint hum of the refrigerator in the kitchen. Kim Chaewon stretched as she shuffled out of her room, her hair slightly disheveled but her mind already racing through the day’s agenda. With a yawn, she grabbed her favorite mug and poured herself a cup of coffee, its warmth helping her shake off the remnants of sleep.

The quiet mornings were her time to prepare—not just for herself, but for her members. Leadership wasn’t just a title for Chaewon; it was a responsibility she embraced wholeheartedly. Between rehearsals, variety shows, and managing their shared living space, there was always something to think about.

She glanced at the group calendar on her phone. “Dance practice at 10, a meeting with the stylists at 2… oh, and Eunchae has that school thing later,” she murmured to herself, mentally adding a note to remind their youngest about her outfit.

The sound of footsteps broke her thoughts. Yunjin trudged into the kitchen, her hair in a lopsided bun and her hoodie hanging off one shoulder.

“Morning, unnie,” Yunjin mumbled, reaching for the cereal box.

“Morning. Sleep well?” Chaewon asked, taking a sip of her coffee.

Yunjin shrugged. “I think I dreamt about forgetting the choreography again. You know, typical idol nightmares.”

Chaewon chuckled. “Well, good thing we have practice later. I’ll make sure you don’t forget anything.”

Before long, the dorm was alive with noise. Sakura appeared next, already dressed and looking composed as ever. Kazuha followed shortly, her bedhead contrasting her poised demeanor. Eunchae bounded into the room last, full of energy, already singing a random song she had likely made up on the spot.

As the leader, Chaewon found herself playing multiple roles at once. She was a scheduler, a referee, a motivator, and sometimes even a nagging older sister.

“Eunchae, you have school later—don’t forget your uniform,” she called out over the chatter.

“Kazuha, let’s go over that spin move before practice, okay?”

“Yunjin, eat something healthy with that cereal.”

“Sakura unnie, can you help me remind everyone about the stylists’ meeting this afternoon?”

Each member responded in their own way: Eunchae saluted dramatically, Kazuha nodded with a soft smile, Yunjin pouted, and Sakura gave a knowing laugh.

As chaotic as mornings could be, these moments grounded Chaewon. Watching her members interact—their banter, their laughter, their quirks—reminded her why she loved this job. It wasn’t always easy being a leader, but for them, it was worth it.

With a deep breath, she smiled. “Alright, everyone, let’s get moving. We’ve got a busy day ahead.”

And just like that, the day began, each moment a new challenge and a new joy.

-----

Sakura

In the chaos of idol life, there was one person Chaewon could always rely on to keep things steady: Sakura. As the oldest member of the group, Sakura had a quiet wisdom about her, paired with years of experience in the industry that Chaewon deeply respected.

The two had developed an unspoken rhythm over time. Chaewon led with energy and drive, while Sakura balanced it with calm and level-headedness. Together, they were like yin and yang—opposite forces that worked in harmony to keep Le Sserafim running smoothly.

This particular morning, Chaewon found Sakura sitting cross-legged on the living room couch, scrolling through her phone. A half-finished cup of green tea sat on the coffee table in front of her.

“Unnie,” Chaewon began, plopping down beside her. “Have you looked at the setlist for tomorrow’s showcase yet? I feel like the transitions need some tweaking.”

Sakura looked up and gave her a small smile. “I did. I think you’re right. The first three songs flow well, but the tempo shift between the third and fourth feels abrupt. We can bring it up in practice later.”

Chaewon sighed in relief. “I knew you’d catch that too. Thanks for always being on top of things, unnie.”

Sakura chuckled softly. “That’s my job as your unofficial second-in-command, right?”

The two shared a laugh. Despite their teasing, there was a mutual understanding between them. Sakura had always been someone Chaewon could vent to when the weight of leadership felt too heavy.

“Remember when we were first deciding on positions in the group?” Sakura reminisced, setting her phone aside. “You were so nervous about being the leader.”

Chaewon rolled her eyes, though a sheepish grin crept onto her face. “Of course I was nervous! It’s a lot of pressure, unnie. And back then, I thought you should’ve been the leader. You had way more experience than I did.”

“But you’re perfect for it,” Sakura said with a sincerity that made Chaewon pause. “You care about everyone. You’re proactive, and you lead by example. The members trust you because they see how much effort you put in.”

Chaewon looked down at her hands, feeling a warmth spread through her chest. “Thanks, unnie. That means a lot coming from you.”

Sakura reached over and gave Chaewon’s hand a light squeeze. “Anytime. Just don’t forget that you’re not alone. You have all of us to lean on, especially me.”

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of Yunjin shouting from the kitchen, “WHO FINISHED THE MILK?!”

Sakura and Chaewon burst into laughter, the serious moment giving way to their usual dynamic.

“Should we go help her?” Sakura asked, though she didn’t seem in any rush to get up.

“Nah,” Chaewon replied, leaning back into the couch. “Let her figure it out. It’s good character development.”

Sakura laughed again, shaking her head. “You’re terrible.”

“Maybe,” Chaewon said with a grin. “But I’m your terrible leader.”

And in that moment, as they sat side by side, Chaewon was reminded of just how lucky she was to have someone like Sakura by her side.

-----

Yunjin

If Sakura was Chaewon’s reliable confidant, Yunjin was her ultimate test of patience—and a never-ending source of entertainment. As the group’s resident ball of energy and mischief, Yunjin brought a whirlwind of unpredictability into Chaewon’s otherwise meticulously planned days.

“YAH! Huh Yunjin!” Chaewon’s voice echoed through the dorm as she burst into the kitchen, where Yunjin stood in front of the open fridge, a tub of kimchi in one hand and a plate of half-eaten toast in the other.

Yunjin blinked at her innocently. “What? I didn’t finish the milk this time!”

Chaewon crossed her arms, glaring at the crumbs scattered all over the countertop. “No, but you left the rice cooker open, the soy sauce lid off, and—what is that?!” She pointed at the monstrosity on Yunjin’s plate.

“It’s my famous kimchi-toast combo!” Yunjin declared proudly, holding it up as if she were presenting a Michelin-star dish.

“That’s not famous. That’s disgusting.”

“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it, Captain!” Yunjin teased, shoving the plate in Chaewon’s direction.

Chaewon groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. “How are you like this? How do you function?”

“I’m a genius in disguise,” Yunjin replied with a wink, taking a huge bite of her bizarre creation.

Despite the frustration bubbling in Chaewon’s chest, she couldn’t help but chuckle. That was the thing about Yunjin—no matter how chaotic she got, she had an infectious charm that made it impossible to stay mad at her.

Later that day, during practice, Yunjin’s antics continued. As the group worked on choreography, Chaewon kept a sharp eye on every member, her leader instincts in full force.

“Yunjin, straighten your arms on the spin!” Chaewon called out.

“Got it!” Yunjin shouted back, only to immediately trip over her own feet and fall into Kazuha, who stumbled but miraculously stayed upright.

The room erupted into laughter, and even Chaewon had to bite back a smile. Yunjin, sprawled on the floor, looked up with a sheepish grin. “Okay, so maybe I need to work on my spins.”

Chaewon shook her head, hands on her hips. “You think?”

But even as she scolded her, Chaewon extended a hand to help Yunjin up. “Let’s try again. And this time, focus.”

“Yes, ma’am!” Yunjin saluted dramatically, earning another round of laughter from the group.

After practice, as they packed up to leave, Yunjin sidled up to Chaewon with a sly grin. “You know, you’d miss me if I wasn’t around to mess things up.”

Chaewon raised an eyebrow. “Would I?”

“You would,” Yunjin said confidently. “Who else would keep you on your toes? You’d get bored without me.”

Chaewon sighed but couldn’t suppress the small smile tugging at her lips. “Fine, maybe a little. But don’t let it go to your head.”

“Too late!” Yunjin chirped, skipping ahead to catch up with the others.

Chaewon watched her go, shaking her head. Yunjin was chaos incarnate, but she was also a vital part of what made their group feel like home. And as much as Chaewon hated to admit it, Yunjin was right—things wouldn’t be the same without her.

-----

Kazuha

If Yunjin was a whirlwind, Kazuha was the calm after the storm—a steady and composed presence that Chaewon often found herself relying on more than she realized. The ballerina-turned-idol possessed an effortless elegance that contrasted with Chaewon’s more intense energy, and their dynamic had a certain balance that was hard to put into words.

It was late one evening when Chaewon walked into the dorm’s living room, finding Kazuha sitting cross-legged on the floor with a book in her lap. A pair of earphones dangled around her neck, and her brow furrowed as she studied the pages.

“Kazuha, what are you doing?” Chaewon asked, curious.

Kazuha looked up, her serene expression breaking into a small smile. “Studying Korean idioms. Some of them are so strange.”

Chaewon chuckled, plopping down beside her. “Yeah, idioms can be tricky. Which one is confusing you?”

“This one,” Kazuha said, pointing at the page. “‘Climbing up the stairs backward.’ What does that even mean?”

Chaewon grinned. “It means you’re doing something inefficiently or in a roundabout way.”

Kazuha blinked. “Oh... so, kind of like how Yunjin dances sometimes?”

Chaewon burst out laughing, covering her mouth. “Exactly like that. You’re catching on.”

Moments like these reminded Chaewon of how much Kazuha had grown since joining the group. From her initial shyness to her quiet confidence now, Kazuha was a pillar of strength in her own understated way.

During practice, this became even more apparent. Chaewon was always impressed by Kazuha’s discipline, a trait she carried over from her ballet background. But it wasn’t just her work ethic that stood out—it was her ability to stay calm under pressure, something Chaewon deeply admired.

“Kazuha, can you try that move again? Just a bit sharper this time,” Chaewon said as the group rehearsed.

Kazuha nodded, adjusting her position. She repeated the move with precision, earning a satisfied nod from Chaewon.

“Perfect,” Chaewon said. “You’re always so consistent.”

Kazuha smiled softly. “It’s because you’re a good leader. You give clear instructions.”

Chaewon blinked, caught off guard by the compliment. “Oh… well, thank you. That means a lot.”

It was rare for Kazuha to be so direct with her praise, but when she was, it felt deeply sincere.

Later that night, as the members settled down after practice, Kazuha approached Chaewon with two steaming mugs of tea. “You looked tired, so I made this for you,” she said, handing one to the leader.

Chaewon accepted the mug, her heart warming at the gesture. “Thanks, Zuha. You didn’t have to do this.”

“I wanted to,” Kazuha replied simply, sitting down beside her.

They sipped their tea in comfortable silence, the quiet camaraderie between them speaking volumes.

“You know,” Chaewon said after a moment, “you’re like the glue that holds us together sometimes. Your calmness keeps the rest of us grounded.”

Kazuha tilted her head, a small, thoughtful smile gracing her lips. “And you’re the one who makes us feel safe. You’re our leader.”

Chaewon smiled, her chest tightening with gratitude. Kazuha’s words were few, but they carried so much weight.

“Thank you, Zuha,” Chaewon said softly.

As the two sat together, Chaewon realized that while Kazuha might not be as loud or dramatic as some of the others, her quiet strength was an invaluable part of their group—and Chaewon was endlessly grateful for it.

-----

Eunchae

If Chaewon ever found herself feeling overwhelmed by the pressures of leadership, she knew there was one person who could pull her out of it—Eunchae, the group’s irrepressible ball of energy.

From the moment they’d met, Eunchae had made it her unofficial mission to bring a smile to Chaewon’s face, whether through her endless teasing, playful antics, or dramatic declarations of love.

“Unnie, you’re so serious all the time,” Eunchae whined one morning as Chaewon organized the day’s schedule. “How can you live like that?”

Chaewon glanced up from her notes, unimpressed. “Someone has to be serious, or this group would fall apart.”

Eunchae gasped, clutching her chest as if she’d been mortally wounded. “Are you saying I don’t contribute to the group’s stability?”

“Not in the way you think,” Chaewon deadpanned, but the corners of her mouth twitched upward despite herself.

Eunchae noticed immediately. “Ha! You smiled! I knew I could do it!”

“Don’t get cocky,” Chaewon muttered, trying to hide her amusement.

Their dynamic was a constant push and pull—Eunchae poking and prodding Chaewon’s composed exterior, and Chaewon pretending not to enjoy it. But deep down, Chaewon adored the maknae’s boundless energy and infectious positivity.

During rehearsals, Eunchae’s mischievous streak often made an appearance. One time, as Chaewon was demonstrating a particularly difficult dance move, Eunchae snuck up behind her and mimicked her every motion, exaggerating them for comedic effect.

The room erupted in laughter, and Chaewon spun around, glaring at Eunchae. “Do you want extra practice tonight?” she threatened, though there was no real malice in her voice.

Eunchae grinned, unrepentant. “You’re just mad because I did it better.”

“Better?” Chaewon scoffed, her lips twitching. “You’re lucky I like you.”

“I knew it!” Eunchae crowed, earning another round of laughter from the other members.

Despite her playful nature, Eunchae had a knack for sensing when Chaewon needed a break. One evening, as Chaewon sat in the living room, her shoulders tense from a long day, Eunchae plopped down beside her with a bag of snacks.

“Here,” Eunchae said, holding out a chip. “Eat this. It’s scientifically proven to cure stress.”

Chaewon raised an eyebrow but accepted the chip. “Is that so?”

“Yep,” Eunchae said confidently, munching on one herself. “I read it on the internet. And the internet never lies.”

Chaewon snorted, her tension easing as they shared the snacks.

For all her teasing, Eunchae’s affection for Chaewon was unmistakable. One night, after a particularly grueling day, Eunchae approached Chaewon with uncharacteristic seriousness.

“Unnie,” she said softly, “you’re doing a really good job. I know we don’t say it enough, but we all see how hard you work for us. And we’re really grateful.”

Chaewon blinked, caught off guard by the heartfelt words. “Eunchae…”

“Don’t get used to it,” Eunchae said quickly, her usual playfulness returning. “I still think you’re a boring old lady most of the time.”

Chaewon rolled her eyes but couldn’t hide her smile. “You’re impossible.”

“And you love it,” Eunchae quipped, leaning against Chaewon’s shoulder.

Chaewon sighed, but there was no mistaking the warmth in her voice. “Yeah, I do.”

Moments like these reminded Chaewon that, for all of Eunchae’s teasing, the maknae’s lightheartedness was an essential part of their group’s dynamic—and of Chaewon’s own sanity.

-----

y/n

If Chaewon’s life as a leader could be described as controlled chaos, then y/n was the quiet reprieve she didn’t realize she needed. Where the other members brought challenges, energy, or playfulness, y/n brought balance—a steady presence in the whirlwind of idol life.

From the start, there had been an undeniable connection between them. y/n had joined the group later than the others, but it didn’t take long for her to settle into the dynamic. Chaewon was impressed by how seamlessly y/n adapted, how effortlessly she picked up choreography, and how she never let the pressure rattle her.

“You make it look so easy,” Chaewon had commented one day during practice, watching y/n nail a particularly tricky move.

y/n had laughed, wiping the sweat from her brow. “Trust me, it’s not. I just have a good teacher.”

The compliment caught Chaewon off guard, and she found herself smiling, a faint blush coloring her cheeks.

From that moment, Chaewon began noticing little things about y/n—the way she always made sure everyone had water during rehearsals, the way she seemed to instinctively know when Chaewon needed a break, and the way her laugh could cut through even the most stressful day.

But what really stood out was the way y/n treated her. To the others, Chaewon was their reliable leader, someone to lean on and respect. But y/n treated her as… Chaewon. Just Chaewon.

One evening, after a long day of schedules, Chaewon and y/n found themselves alone in the dorm’s kitchen. Chaewon was mindlessly scrolling through her phone while y/n prepared a late-night snack.

“Want some?” y/n offered, holding out a plate of toast topped with avocado and a sprinkle of chili flakes.

Chaewon hesitated but nodded, accepting a piece. “Thanks.”

y/n grinned. “Careful, it’s spicy.”

Chaewon took a bite, only to immediately start coughing as the heat hit her. y/n burst out laughing, handing her a glass of water.

“You could’ve warned me!” Chaewon choked, glaring at y/n through watery eyes.

“I did!” y/n protested, still laughing. “I said it was spicy!”

Chaewon tried to stay mad but found herself laughing along. “You’re impossible.”

“And yet, you keep me around,” y/n teased, a playful glint in her eye.

It was moments like these that made Chaewon’s feelings for y/n harder to ignore. She wasn’t sure when it started—when the casual glances turned into lingering stares, or when their late-night conversations became the highlight of her day. All she knew was that y/n made her feel seen in a way no one else did.

One night, as they sat on the dorm’s balcony watching the city lights, y/n turned to Chaewon with a soft smile.

“You’ve been quiet tonight,” y/n said, her voice gentle. “What’s on your mind?”

Chaewon hesitated, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her sweater. “Just… everything. Being a leader, keeping things together. It feels like a lot sometimes.”

y/n reached out, her hand brushing against Chaewon’s. “You don’t have to carry it all alone, you know. We’re here for you. I’m here for you.”

The sincerity in y/n’s voice made Chaewon’s heart flutter. She looked down at their intertwined fingers, her breath hitching.

“y/n,” Chaewon started, her voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t think I say this enough, but… you mean a lot to me.”

y/n’s eyes softened, her grip on Chaewon’s hand tightening slightly. “You mean a lot to me too, Chaewon. More than you probably realize.”

The air between them grew heavy with unspoken words, but Chaewon couldn’t bring herself to look away. Slowly, tentatively, y/n leaned in, her gaze searching hers for permission.

Chaewon’s breath caught, but she didn’t pull away. Instead, she closed the gap, her lips meeting y/n’s in a soft, lingering kiss.

When they finally pulled apart, y/n chuckled, her forehead resting against Chaewon’s. “So… does this mean I’m your favorite member now?”

Chaewon rolled her eyes, but her smile gave her away. “Don’t push your luck.”

y/n grinned, pressing another quick kiss to her cheek. “Worth a shot.”

As they sat there, the city lights twinkling around them, Chaewon realized that, for the first time in a long time, she felt at peace. With y/n by her side, she wasn’t just a leader—she was simply Chaewon.

And that was more than enough.

____________________

Not exactly your house, or parent’s house, but your room felt like a second home to Chaewon. Your room was familiar in so many ways. Repainting the walls together, helping you put up posters and build furniture together, reorganizing jewelry or your closet. There were so many shared memories in this room, so many she felt fond of.

“Do you still listen to these bands?”

Chaewon was staring at the various posters on your wall. Some tour posters, some inclusions from albums.

“Yeah, of course.” You replied.

“They suck.” She scoffed.

“Maybe to you.”

You walked over showing two outfits: one was a short, blue skirt with a cropped raglan top, the other a yellow dress with a demin jacket over it.

 Chaewon pointed to the skirt-shirt combo.

“Thank you.”

You moved closer to your closet to change. You weren’t keen on wearing your university’s colors but being on their cheer team it was mandatory for games and after parties.

“You know you should wear, at least, something of our school colors.” You commented.

“Do I have to?” Chaewon asked, voice sounding comically annoyed.

“No,” You peered your head out to see her, “but it’d make me happy.”

She rolled her eyes before getting up. Already dressed in a gray shirt and black jeans, she looked around your closet for the special blue item she had to wear.

You grabbed at a blue flannel, showing Chaewon, “What about this?”

“It’s not the worst.” She commented, grabbing the flannel to wear.

After dressing and Chaewon helping you pick out jewelry, what minimal you were allowed to wear. You made your way to your car, letting Chaewon connect to the aux before driving off towards the stadium your team was playing at.

Chaewon liked playing her music, adding just a few of your favorite songs to tease you. It felt like a ritual, always preparing game days with her music while just barely letting you hear your own.

Arriving at the stadium, you showed Chaewon where her seats here. Letting her walk around the food stalls and photo booth stations while your team warmed up before the game. You saw her reappear before the game began, when the families and fans would begin sitting in the bleachers waiting for their teams to come out.

It’s not that you needed to watch Chaewon, she was fine doing whatever she wanted, but it was nice seeing her watch you. Like she was a good luck charm or some higher being looking out for you.

As the game started, your team did your usual cheer routine: warming up the crowd, cheering at the team, the occasional acrobatic. Your team would send out half to cheer and dance before switching with the other half. It was exhausting but this let you rest for a good minute.

Chaewon was mostly watching your team perform, she was never a sports fan. Seeing you and your team lift each other, twirl in the air, even just the cheer routines were far more entertaining than the actual game being played.

‘She looks good in blue.’

Chaewon was a little surprised when the thought popped into her mind. Something about you was bright, shining even. The usual bland uniform looked good on you, the way you kicked and moved, always timed perfectly. She could see the ambition in your eyes, even when she was so far away.

She watched you return to your bench, watching the game continue playing. Chaewon never payed attention to these games, looking over at the scoreboard she saw someone was winning. After some more throws, hearing the crowd around her yell and cheer, she thinks it was your team who won.

Everyone standing and cheering, your team moving to do your final cheer formation before heading towards the locker rooms to change.

“Y/n, you’re coming to the after party, right?”

You froze for a second, “I have plans already, sorry.”

“Oh, you and your girlfriend have a date?” another cheerleader teased.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” You stated, “maybe I have something with family.”

“You never have something with your family.”

You finished changing, walking out towards the bleachers to find Chaewon. Waving to her, you both walked around, spotting any booth or spot you wanted to see before driving off. Your usual routine was to go to some fast food place and eat in an empty parking lot. You found the perfect spot, parking and relaxing in the car.

“You look good in blue.” You said, looking over at Chaewon.

“Huh?”

Chaewon looked flustered.

“Are you okay? You’re all flushed.”

“Y-yeah, I’m fine, I-”

You stared at her curiously.

“It just feels stuffy.”

“It’s stuffy?”

Chaewon shifted, “A little.”

You both left the car, opting for the cooler air outside. It was a little windy, making the air feel fresher than usual. You both walked towards your trunk, leaning against the truck as you were confused at her sudden change in demeanor.

That usual awkwardness that crept between you was even stronger now. Something shifting in your relationship and it made you a little scared. You wonder if she’s picked up on your changing feelings.

“Chae.”

Chaewon turned to you, she looked flushed, nervous, eyes darting around your face.

‘Now or never.’ You thought.

You leaned closer, “Can I kiss you?”

“Huh?”

“We don’t have to,” You tried to laugh it off, “just thought I’d ask.”

“Y/n.”

You turned to her, seeing her turn more nervous, eyes darting around as she breathed.

“No one’s around,” She breathed in deeply, “if you wanted to.”

‘Woah.’

You leaned in, pressing a chaste kiss into her lips. Her hands grabbed onto your arms, holding you close to her as she pulled you in for another kiss. You pulled away, staring at each other, wondering if the other could hear the bold heartbeat in your chest.

Chaewon pulled you into another kiss, holding you there as she leaned against the car. You could feel your teeth clash against her lips, bruising each other as you felt the heat and swelling around your lips.

You tilted your head as you both moved into a rhythm. You kissed and bit lightly on her bottom lip, pulling away as you opened your eyes to see her flushed cheeks.

“I think I’m in love with you.” You confess.

Chaewon stared at you, “I think I am, too.”

You laughed, pulling her into a hug. Your head tucked into her neck, rocking her from side to side before laying a kiss onto her cheek.

“How long?”

“Huh?” She asked.

“How long have you felt it?”

“A while.” She said sheepishly.

You smiled, leaning in to kiss her more. You peppered her face, her chin, cheeks, along her nose.

“You’ve thought about kissing me.” You teased.

“Obviously you have, too.” She laughed.

“Of course I have! Look at your lame face.” You squished her cheeks, “Can I kiss you more?”

“Sure you can.” Chaewon looked away, furrowing her brows in embarrassment.

You pulled her in, pressing your chest into hers as you felt how harsh your heartbeat was, or maybe it was hers. You licked across her bottom lip, feeling her hands hold onto your neck. You felt her lips part as you licked across her tongue, moaning against her as you leaned further onto your car.

Chaewon pulled off, “Are we still friends?”

“Can we be girlfriends?” You asked.

“I’d like to be girlfriends.”

“And lastly…” The girl trailed off as they took the last few steps between the high bleachers, the sun momentarily blinding them as the big field that was filled came into view. The voices echoed through the space with shouts, cheers and whistles being blown. “This is the field where we hold pep rallies, events, games, practice et cetera.” She explained, gesturing towards the green grass that didn’t look real from the strong colour it carried, shining as it looked watered. 

Chaewon’s eyes scanned the bleachers behind her where a couple of students were sitting, looking around and over the green field. Jimin–the girl who showed her around school this morning–pointed towards the girls who were in white shorts and light blue jerseys. 

“There is the girls' soccer team, we have a boys' team too. Both play in the state championship this year to try and get into nationals again,” she continued to explain. “We have basketball, swimming, water polo, table tennis, track–” Her gaze shifted where Jimin pointed towards the other side of the field. 

“And a cheerleading team as you can see, however, they are a level seven team that competes on an elite level.” Chaewon felt herself flinch at the three girls who were flung into the air, making her squint her eyes to see better as the sun was blinding her. She had seen cheerleading before at her previous school, but not as advanced as this team looked. 

“What was that?” She asked as the three girls fell back down, being caught by the guys who were their bases. 

“Uhm, kick-kick double basket,” Jimin replied seemingly having the stuff memorised. 

“And who’s that?” Chaewon continued to ask, subtly pointing with her head towards the girl in the middle with a single base under her this time, doing a heel stretch. 

“That’s Y/n, the captain, a talented flyer and tumbler, just generally good at cheerleading.”

“Oh wow.” Jimin hummed at Chaewon who continued to watch the cheerleading team, fully enthralled by what was going on. 

After a good minute of the two girls looking at the team doing baskets and other stunts, Jimin spoke up, realising that she still had to help the new girl out a little bit more before getting to watch her friends’ morning practice. 

“So, are you interested in any of the teams? Have you done anything? Swimming? Table tennis? Track?” She questioned.

Chaewon took one last glance at the girls and guys from the cheer team before she walked with Jimin. Her eyes fell on the soccer team that was in the middle of a practice game against each other. 

“I was part of the soccer team.” The shorter girl mentioned as they walked along the empty track field, hands in the pockets of her jeans to occupy them with something. Her eyes followed the ball that was passed around, the callouts of the girls being incoherent to her ears from far away. 

“Any good?” 

Chaewon hummed, nodding her head as she looked away from the field and at Jimin. She took pride in her soccer skills as she had played for as long as she had walked. “Captain and starting striker.” It was enough to shine through her little shell whenever soccer was mentioned and she could go on for days talking about it and how much she loves playing. 

“Well, I’m not sure if you will make it into the starting lineup now that the season has started, but I can talk to Yunjin.” 

It was unfortunate that her family had to suddenly move to another city a month into her senior year. It was unexpected, but Chaewon couldn’t argue about it and so her fate brought her here. She had to settle in and try to fit in too which usually wasn’t a problem, however, this was the last year of high school and people were bound to already have their close friends. 

“Yunjin?” Her head tilted at the name and Jimin nodded her head as she proceeded to explain. 

“The captain and current starting striker. She will talk to you and the coach.”

“Oh.” She gave a curt nod, knowing already that to have the spot she used to have on her old team she would have to work for it in the new environment. Chaewon was sure of her skills in the end even if the season had already started, she couldn’t stay benched for all of it. 

“That’s her,” Jimin said as the whistle blew, pointing towards the girl who ran across the field and away from the rest of the team. 

“Ew, ew, ew, ew.” 

“Ew?” Yunjin confusedly questioned, her eyebrows furrowing, but her grip on the petite girl stayed as she had her arms wrapped around her from behind. 

“You’re all sweaty, Jen.” Y/n cried out, trying to squirm out of the girl's hold. 

Yunjin huffed and let go of Y/n, the shorter girl turned on her heels and gave her a small shove against her chest to have her step back. The ginger grumbled and pulled up the hem of her jersey to wipe away any remaining sweat on her face after practice. The second the whistle blew and she was dismissed she grabbed her stuff and ran over to the cheer team. 

“Stop flexing your tummy for everyone.” Yunjin groaned as her stomach was smacked and she let go of her shirt. Her eyes back on the cheerleader who cringed as the captain's stomach was just as sweaty. The ginger clicked her tongue and grabbed Y/n’s hand to wipe it with her shirt. 

“God, you’re so dramatic.” She commented, her eyes stuck on Y/n’s face as the girl smiled at her, it was enough to make the corners of Yunjin’s lips lift too. It was as if she was struck by something from nowhere, everything inside her stomach started to shift and she felt giddy. It was her source of energy because it would always surge through her whenever she looked at Y/n; she considered the girl her lucky charm. 

Her eyes crinkled at how good it felt; her best friend was the best feeling in the world. 

“Don’t you just love it when I am?” Y/n questioned with an eloquent grin as she knew the answer.

Yunjin could feel her face heat up with her own words as Y/n picked up her gym bag after pulling away from the taller girl. “I tend to love everything about your annoying self.” She commented, her heart picking up like it always did when she said these things to Y/n. It made her nervous and Y/n’s replies only made her more flustered and she found herself digging through all the signs to understand if it was what she hoped it was. 

“You’re my favourite person,” hearing that from Y/n always brightened not only her day but her soul which could at times fall into a gloom of insecurities. 

Yunjin was the captain of the soccer team and had been for the past three years which resulted in a lot of faith being put on her, trusting her sportsmanship and leadership, especially during soccer season. The team, the school, the coach, her friends and family, and people on the bleachers all counted on the team and it was her job to make sure they worked as a team. Any errors always gnawed at her and made her doubt her skill as a captain.

She knew that she wasn’t the only one who was under a lot of pressure, the girl who clung to her arm as they waited for the rest of their friends was under just as much pressure. All her friends were, but she could only find solace in one person and one person only: Y/n. Yunjin could open up about anything to her, tell her everything–almost everything–because she knew that Y/n would be there for her as she had been there since middle school, sixth grade. 

Along the way that trust and adoration seemed to evolve into more, but how couldn’t it? Y/n was everything Yunjin dreamed of and she had never dreamed of more than soccer. It wasn’t like she had a picture of a dream partner or life before, but after she met Y/n and with years that went by and when high school started, she understood what it meant for a dream to get built around a person. Her dream was soccer and she built it around Y/n as each choice she made involved thoughts of her best friend.

When high school started she realised what it meant to build her dreams around a person. It meant to be in love.

“Who’s that with Jimin?” Y/n diverted the conversation she was having with Yunjin, placing her chin on the taller girl’s shoulder as she stood on her toes, arms wrapped around the ginger’s waist. It felt warm, but not the kind of warm Yunjin felt from the sun and running around on the field; it was the type that brewed on the inside like a fireplace that warmed up a home.

She hummed and her eyes searched the field until they landed on Jimin walking along the running track with a girl she hadn’t seen before. “I don’t know…” She trailed off, her eyes squinted the slightest to try to see if she maybe did recognise the girl, but she didn’t. Yunjin squirmed at the ticklish feeling when Y/n blew air against her ear, the girl giggling as she let go of the ginger who turned. 

Before she could utter a single word, Y/n grabbed her hand and tugged it so she would walk with her. “Zuha–” She called for the cheerleader who was packing up the last of her stuff before turning to the two. Y/n received a hum from her friend as Yunjin let herself be dragged after her. “Did you hear anything about the girl Jimin is with?” The shorter girl questioned, gesturing with her head towards the girl in question.

“Nope, I don’t remember her mentioning anything.” Kazuha, one of the tumblers on the team, replied as she walked over to the two. All three turned back around and looked at the two. 

“That’s the new girl.” Their attention was torn away from the two as they looked at the guy who was one of the bases, Yeonjun. 

“There’s someone new starting?” Yunjin questioned, confused by the guy’s words. She frowned, her thumb smoothing over Y/n’s knuckles as she tried to figure out why someone would change schools in their senior year. Not to mention, school started a month ago. 

“Well, she’s not here to just look at the school.” Yunjin rolled her eyes at the guy’s mordant remark as it was obvious. 

“We’re going to be late for bio,” Yujin exhaled after she ran across the field with her soccer gear to them.

Yunjin looked at the time on her phone as she leaned against the wall outside the locker rooms after getting changed. “You’re not coming?” Yujin questioned as she walked out of the girls’ soccer team's locker, fixing the bag on her shoulder.

“I will be there–” She was cut off as the girl waved her off, passing by her.

“Yeah, you want to walk with Y/n, don’t be too late.” She dismissed and Yunjin rolled her eyes at the second striker who walked away. 

The girl wasn’t one to break her routines, not the ones with Y/n at least. All classes started in around eight minutes and Y/n’s physics class was right on the way to bio. Yunjin picked at her nails as she waited for the girl, thinking of her day as she tried to plan what she would do after school. It all consisted of soccer and Y/n as she either would practise by staying behind at school or would leave with Y/n to spend time.

She sighed as she hated the way time always went by so slowly without the cheerleader, but Yunjin couldn’t help but also hate how fast it went by with Y/n there. It was almost as if it wasn’t enough, 24 hours of the day weren’t enough for her with the girl and she had a feeling it would never be. 

The thoughts of the girl raced in her head, making her heart race too as they always ended with her trying to think of ways to let Y/n know. How it would be if she spilled what more laid behind her as she loved Y/n more than a best friend. How it would be once Y/n would hear these words that ran deeper than adoration and how good it would feel when she would hear those same things leave Y/n’s lips. It made her smile as she continued to pick at her fingers and she tried to contain it to not look stupid, but she was a fool for her best friend and Yunjin didn’t mind it one bit.

However, her stomach would always turn inside out at the thought of the opposite happening if she told Y/n the truth about what coursed through her veins when she was with her. The thoughts of rejection, loss, longing, and dreams being shattered. Yunjin couldn’t afford the loss of someone alive because it would be too painful, and Y/n would be too painful to lose. 

Then came the thoughts of rejection, but not losing her best friend either way because she knew Y/n better than that. The girl wouldn’t leave her simply because Yunjin was in love with her, but there was a possibility that she wouldn’t return the feelings. Those thoughts seemed to tie the biggest knots around her heart; the thoughts of Y/n not feeling the same, to begin with even if she wouldn’t put distance between them after.

Yunjin was stuck on the belief that Y/n was in love with her whether that was true or not, it didn’t matter. It was what made her heart content; thinking about silently being in love with each other and not taking the step–the silent agreement of loving and not finding anyone else even if they didn’t take the step to be more than silent lovers. 

Of course, Yunjin dreamed of more, but she could settle on skinny love as long as it was Y/n.

Those giggles, smiles, eyes, Y/n’s voice, words, lips, the girl’s heart and soul; it was all more than enough for her in a silent agreement of loving each other but never confessing it out loud.

She was too scared to say those words out loud because, at the back of her head, she knew that there was a possibility that maybe she was wrong about it all. The thought alone was enough to keep her words at bay to not have to face the possible reality of being the only one.

“You’re looking all cute again.” Yunjin looked up, scrunching up her nose to rid herself of the smile that had stitched itself on her face while she waited. Y/n smiled and grabbed the girl by the hem of her hoodie, tugging at it and making the taller girl walk with her. 

“I like your jacket,” the ginger complimented as she had on the school varsity jacket that held Yunjin’s name and number, being oversized on Y/n’s petite body.

“It’s from my favourite closet.” The smile came right back onto Yunjin’s lips as she looked over Y/n who was in her jacket. The cheerleader walked closer to Yunjin and grabbed hold of her arm, wrapping it around her shoulders as they walked through the hallway to head for their lockers and then to class.

“Do you have any plans after school?” 

“You didn’t ask me to hang out yet so no.” Yunjin chuckled at Y/n’s words, giving the girl a light shove as they approached the girl’s class. 

“I will wait by my car after classes end.” She settled.

“Yeah, I will see you at lunch…You’re going to be late.” Y/n showed her lock screen to Yunjin, her eyes first landing on the wallpaper that was her during one of their late-night Facetime calls before seeing that class started in four minutes. 

“I don’t care,” the captain tried to stay nonchalant about it, wishing to spend at least a few more minutes or at least seconds with the girl. She knew that the next time she looked at the clock four minutes would already have passed because it didn’t wait around when they were with each other. Yunjin needed some more time to prepare for the next two classes without Y/n who would feel like they dragged on for ages even if she had their other friends to keep company.

“You do,” she watched as Y/n turned on her heels as they stood outside the open door to the classroom. The girl pressed it as Yunjin tried to keep her attendance in check because bad attendance and grades meant no soccer. 

“I really don’t.”

“I can bet that the second I walk inside I will hear you run.” Y/n teased and Yunjin looked away at that, licking her lips.

“No, I won’t, but you should head inside since class starts soon.” 

“Or I should head inside so you can hurry and not be late?” The ginger looked back at Y/n who was looking up at her with a wide smile, tongue poking at her canine before she bit her lower lip. It made Yunjin take in a breath as she felt her heart tumble down onto the floor for Y/n again as she couldn’t help but fall every time; waiting for Y/n to pick it up and carry it the way she would carry the girl’s. 

Oh, how proudly she would carry Y/n’s heart if she had it; Yunjin would take care of it as if her life depended on it because it did. Her happiness depended on Y/n’s happiness. 

“No, I don’t care about being late.” 

“Sure, Jen,” Y/n giggled and wrapped her free hand around Yunjin’s waist to hug her before they parted ways. The captain without question returned the hug as her arm draped around Y/n’s shoulders. That sweet flowery scent invaded her and she loved it; the most when the cheerleader left it to linger in her bedroom after they hung out. It brought her the same type of comfort that her home did, Y/n was her home. 

“I will see you at lunch.” The shorter girl hummed and tilted her head to look up at Yunjin while pulling away to leave a kiss on the girl's warm cheek before giving her a small push so she would let go. 

“You’re about to be late for real,” Y/n commented while Yunjin watched the girl walk inside, her eyes widening and bringing her out of the daydream that Y/n was before bolting through the hallway. 

Chaewon had never been one to silently sit alone and away from everyone in a classroom, but she couldn’t help but feel intimidated. She wasn’t one to approach either because of her shy nature. All those friends she had made as a kid were back in her hometown. It felt different now that she was in 12th grade compared to middle school or lower. It didn’t feel as easy to approach someone. 

Slowly she was coming to terms that she would possibly spend her senior year alone at the back of the class. It was her pessimistic and despair-filled side talking as it appeared stronger ever since she was told that they were moving to a new city. 

Her last hope was the soccer team, but even that felt like a far reach as the friendships maybe wouldn’t go outside the field. Everyone already had their friends and she now felt like an outcast for being new so late into high school.

It wasn’t fair and she hated it. 

She picked at her nails, staring down at them while trying to bury the nerves and anxiety of a new place. The sound of new laughter made her look up as the classroom was loud the whole time and the teacher had yet to arrive. Her eyes landed at the entrance of the classroom, she caught a glimpse of that orange hair she had seen on the field earlier as the soccer captain was hugging the cheer captain. 

She found herself staring, eyes glued to the cheerleader who stepped inside the class with a smile. Chaewon shivered, assuming it was from the cold table under her bare forearms as she pursed her lips, fighting the urge to let a small smile form on her lips. Y/n was too pretty and her smile didn’t look like it should be ignored without smiling back, but then again, Chaewon was invincible and would stay invincible until the end of the year.

Y/n wasn’t looking her way, she was talking to a few girls at the front.

It wasn’t like Chaewon knew the girl, but it already made her think about how much she would possibly miss out on if she didn’t get the courage to talk to someone. Maybe not the cheer captain right away, but anyone. It would be sombre to be alone during the whole senior year.

The bell rang and she watched as everyone proceeded to take seats in the chairs that were still empty while the teacher entered. It made her wince at how the chairs screeched along the floors, the chatter turning into hushed whispers as the man at the front put his stuff down. 

“Looks like your seat is at the back today, Y/n, maybe we will go through a class without talking since it’s next to Kim Chaewon, our new student.” His words were followed by small giggles and Y/n who clicked her tongue. 

Chaewon felt herself get breathless at the panic she felt of people suddenly noticing her after being a ghost at the back. She had no clue what to do so she avoided gazes that were on her all while suddenly feeling too warm in her clothes.

She could feel that her face was red. Or maybe it wasn’t? Now she was panicking over whether she looked anxious or not. Her heart rate increased, pounding against her ribcage so harshly it made her feel weak. Was she going to have a panic attack in front of everyone on her first day? It was starting to muffle her ears and her fists clenched as they were clammy now. 

Chaewon’s wide eyes gazed around the classroom as the girl sat down beside you, the scent of sweet flowers managed to cloud her, pulling her away from the anxiety and grounding her. The class went almost completely silent, the hushed whispers even more faint now as the teacher started to talk. She tried to calm herself down before it got worse.

“Where did you transfer from?” Heat ran across Chaewon’s back when the girl beside her spoke up after a few minutes of the lecture, everyone too engulfed to take notice of them at the back. 

She parted her lips, suddenly not remembering where she grew up before she managed to push an answer from her throat with a slight quiver. “Austin, Texas.” Chaewon cleared her throat and swallowed, subtly glancing over at the girl beside her who was looking at the front. It sounded stale and she was afraid that she ruined her only chance to make friends.

“That’s far—” It was, it truly was far as she now lived in Long Island, New York. She looked to the side, her eyes meeting Y/n’s and she held her breath for a second as she hadn’t expected the girl to be looking back at her, not with those intense eyes. Chaewon couldn’t hold eye contact, her gaze faltering onto the table. “I assume that it kind of sucks to move, especially in your last year.” 

“It’s–Yeah, it does suck.” She couldn’t help but admit to how much it sucked. It felt alienating and a big part of her was still pessimistic about this change and another still held some resentment towards her parents even if it wasn’t their fault that her mother got transferred to the new job. 

Y/n hummed at that, the girl unable to stop casting glances at the cheerleader, constantly picking up on her features with each glance cast at her. Her nerves eased, but new ones appeared as she was sitting beside a pretty girl who was talking to her with such ease it felt like they already knew each other. 

There was a flow as Y/n continued to ask questions about her throughout the lesson–Chaewon realised what the teacher meant at the start, but she didn’t mind because suddenly all those doubts about her senior year disappeared.

Before she could take in a word the teacher said the class was over and her most dreaded day was slowly becoming one that wasn’t dragging along, but flying by. 

“Okay, what does your schedule look like?” Y/n asked as everyone was gathering their stuff, the two girls taking their time and staying behind. Chaewon showed her phone to the girl where she had her schedule.

“We have physics, maths and P.E. together, you also have classes with some of my other friends–maths now and lunch after so…” Y/n trailed off and the girl got her phone handed back. Chaewon’s momentary confusion dissipated and she got the memo, grabbing her stuff to walk with the girl. 

“I forgot to ask about her number and now she might as well be lost somewhere at school. I was supposed to introduce you two.” Jimin explained and Yunjin did her best to listen and indulge in the conversation after the new girl was brought up, but she was too busy waiting for Y/n to finally arrive at the canteen. 

“Where’s Y/n?” She asked as the new girl hadn’t managed to pique her interest.

“Are you listening?” Jimin questioned.

“What does the new girl have to do with anything?” The ginger questioned, poking at the food with her fork. She had yet to meet her and she hadn’t listened to what Jimin was saying at all. 

“You’re the soccer captain.”

“Yeah,” she confirmed, looking up at Jimin with a frown.

“It’s like talking to a wall.”

“Tell me about it,” Yujin commented, earning laughter from the other two at the table. 

“You don’t think you could fix her a spot on the team?” This time Yunjin was listening and her frown deepened for a second. 

“The season already started and we’re a full team,” it felt like a risk to take someone new onto the team when they had been playing together for months now, some even years. 

“She said she was captain and starting striker in her previous school.” The girl beside her replied with a shrug.

“I–” The ginger didn’t get to reply as she got distracted by the three girls that were heading their way. There were just certain auras that drew people to them, Y/n and Kazuha were two people with that kind of aura, or maybe it was just Y/n since that was who Yunjin always found herself drawn to.

“Looks like she’s not lost at all,” Yeonjun commented, right beside Y/n was the new girl and Yunjin knew just how easy-going her best friend was. Anyone was able to be comfortable around her, all it took was a few words from Y/n and the person was lost, anticipating what she would say next. Yunjin knew that and she loved that.

Chaewon looked over at the four people at the table, that nervousness clouded her again as she had just been able to slowly crawl out of her shy shell around Y/n and somewhat with Kazuha. The eyes on her made her want to retract right back inside her shell of comfort and security. 

She almost flinched at the hand that brushed over her before it grabbed gently hold of her wrist. The talking between all of them was still being processed as the girl was too busy looking around to avoid making eye contact first. She pursed her lips and held her breath at the nerves as the cheer captain pulled her over to the table. 

“And this is Yunjin…” The cheer captain introduced everyone at the table, quickly making them acquainted. 

For the first few minutes, Chaewon knew that she was mostly sitting in silence, unsure of what to say, however, she was more than thankful for Y/n who included her and worked as a mediator, especially between the two other girls–Yunjin and Yujin–who played soccer. At the back of her mind, Chaewon knew that she was enthralled by Y/n, feeling like she wouldn’t feel as welcomed and at ease if it hadn’t been for the girl. The girl was her only safe space in the huge school at the moment.

She quickly came to the realisation that she had been worrying too much and that maybe her senior year wouldn’t be too bad as she got along with both Yunjin and Yujin. 

“What do you think about Chaewon?” Yunjin hummed at the question, her eyes trained on the screen of her phone that she was playing on. Y/n’s fingers continued to comb through her hair, making occasional small braids as she rested her head in the girl’s lap, lying in Yunjin’s bed.

There wasn’t much to think about, Yunjin was still getting to know the girl, but from today alone she had an answer that was good enough. 

“She’s cool, I don’t know what I was expecting, but yeah, she’s chill.”

“You two seemed to get along with all your soccer talk.”

She glanced up at Y/n through her lashes, rolling her eyes at the teasing smile that rested on the girl’s pretty lips. Yunjin bit her lower lip for a second and looked back at her phone screen to finish up as she continued to talk,

“Whatever, it’s one of the things we have in common so far.”

“No matter how cool you think soccer makes you, you’re such a nerd about it.” 

“Hey!” The ginger complained, turning her phone off and putting it on her nightstand as she sat up, turning to face Y/n who was leaning against the headboard. 

“But in a good way, I love seeing that it makes you happy and keeps you passionate,” she watched the smile grow bigger on Y/n’s lips as the girl grabbed hold of the strings of her hoodie and tugged her closer. 

Soccer did keep Yunjin passionate, but her best friend was yet another thing that kept her passionate; their friendship and Y/n were something she was utterly passionate about. 

“I have the best support system known to man, consisting of my family, friends and most importantly you.” She told the truth and nothing else to her best friend, grabbing Y/n’s hands that were holding onto the strings of her hoodie, cupping them in hers and warming Y/n’s colder hands. 

The cheer captain hummed at that. “Ditto.” 

“So…What do you think about Chaewon? You seemed to get along.” Yunjin questioned, dropping her gaze onto their hands as Y/n was playing with her fingers, intertwining them and pressing their palms together as they sat facing each other. That smile was one the ginger couldn’t even fight, Y/n’s touch was soothing and spread a warmth through her that reminded her of home.

“She’s cute.”

One thing Yunjin hated was that she had grown so attached and used to Y/n and her being this one force of a silent agreement that these unelaborated comments made her stomach drop. The ginger knew that she shouldn’t be so sensitive, but each day she woke up with a fear that maybe the silent agreement was one-sided. 

Each night she went to bed and woke up afraid that things would be different. What if someone took her place? Not as a best friend because she knew that was set in stone, but in this fantasy she hoped was true.

Yunjin pushed through it though as she knew better and knew how wrong it was to feel this way. “Cute?” She curiously asked, waiting for Y/n to elaborate, hoping Y/n didn’t find Chaewon cuter than her. Was ‘cute’ enough for Y/n to drop the silent agreement? The one Yunjin hoped was real.

“With how shy she is.”

She looked up at Y/n and nodded her head in understanding, familiar with Chaewon’s shy nature after today.

“You’re not gonna replace me, are you?”

“Oh my God, Yunjin.” 

“Yunjin!?” The ginger let out in panic as her hands were dropped by Y/n who raised her eyebrows, giving her a once over with a judging look.

“Yes, Huh Yunjin,” Y/n confirmed with a click of her tongue, never calling her Yunjin because she had always been Jen to her. 

“Stop it.” She complained, loving how Jen was the only thing Y/n called her and everyone else would call her Yunjin. It was like Y/n was the only one aware of her other name even if it wasn’t true. Everyone just silently agreed that Jen was reserved for Y/n.

“Why on earth would you ever even say that.” 

“I’m just making sure,” she whined back at Y/n, but she knew that she didn’t have to, it was a joke because she knew that she would never be replaced as the girl’s best friend. That was why it was the least of her worries.

“I’m hurt–like actually hurt that you even have to make sure—” Her lips parted as Y/n was about to get up from the bed, Yunjin earning a huff of disbelief from the girl. “I think I’m gonna cry.”

“Now you’re being dramatic, come here.” 

“No!” Yunjin laughed when Y/n yelped as she wrapped her arms around the girl’s waist after she had stood up from the bed. She pulled her back down, Y/n landing on top of her with her back, trying to wiggle out of Yunjin’s grip who continued to giggle at the poor attempts. 

“I love you and know that you would never replace me in any way possible. You and I are forever like we promised in sixth grade.” She mumbled as Y/n heaved a sigh, the striker felt the girl give up and relax in her hold. Yunjin took the chance to bury her nose in Y/n’s hair as the girl rested her head on her shoulder, staring up at the white ceiling as a moment of silence fell between them.

“Yunjin…” 

“Mm?” Yunjin pulled back and lifted her head only to flinch when Y/n turned around and flicked her forehead. “Ow–”

“Don’t joke like that again, I don’t want to think about it ‘cause it hurts to think about it.”

She pouted at those words as she sat up with Y/n sitting beside her, “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be, I know some people can’t help the fact that they are stupid.” Y/n dismissed with a smile as she looked over her shoulder at Yunjin.

“Yeah, you’re walking tomorrow,” 

“Who says I’m staying the night?”

“Me and I still pick you up even when you stay at home, now sleep.” The ginger demanded, pulling Y/n back down and reaching over for the bedside lamp.

“But I–” She shushed the girl, pushing her head back down on the pillow as the lights went out and she pulled the duvet over them.

“Goodnight, Y/n.” The girl beside her heaved a sigh and moved, Yunjin offering her arm as per usual, letting Y/n rest her head on her shoulder and hug her waist, knowing she couldn’t sleep without hugging something or someone. 

“Goodnight, Jen,” Yunjin smiled at the name and hummed, the fear of being replaced when she woke up less present as the girl she loved fell asleep in her arms.  

Chaewon realised that she had been too pessimistic, but the good thing was that she could change her views under the right circumstances where changing her perception would come in handy. Throughout the week she felt less and less dread for school when she went to bed and then woke up after being lucky enough to be found by Y/n on her first day. She felt welcomed and instantly accepted by the group without any tension. 

Tuesday came and she felt her purpose start to sparkle again as she was accepted onto the soccer team even if it wasn’t in the starting lineup that was already set in stone when the season started. 

For a second when practice ended and they had played a practice game where she was put as a striker and on the opposite team as the captain, Huh Yunjin, she thought that the girl would be a rival; a competition to beat and replace on the field. 

The view was also changed quickly; Chaewon saw no need to strive for her old spot as a captain, however, she did find the need to be in the starting lineup and hoped it would come to her soon even if it wouldn’t be as a main striker.

Yunjin became someone she saw as a person who she could get the most out of when they played together as days passed through the week and they played alongside each other. Outside the field, they were becoming good friends and she could say it about the rest too. 

Days passed quicker than she had expected after dreading moving to a new place. 

So before she knew it; it was Saturday and Chaewon found herself at a convention centre for a local yet huge cheerleading tournament. She had never been to one, so naturally, she wanted to stick to the group of people she came with; Yunjin, Jimin and Yujin.

They had arrived an hour before it was the team's turn because the competition lasted a whole eight hours and there were still three hours left after the good four-minute performance that was in 30 minutes. Chaewon knew very little about everything, but the other three girls filled her right in, especially Yunjin who had a hard time being quiet about it. 

“I still need to give Y/n her bow, Chaewon and I can go while you two get to the seats.” Chaewon didn’t get a word in as they were walking through the crowded centre, her arm sleeve was grabbed and she was pulled aside by Yunjin. 

“Could you hold it for a second?” She hummed, taking the bow from Yunjin who started to look for her phone. Chaewon looked over the dark blue and white bow with gemstones, glancing between the captain and the way before her to not walk into anyone. 

“Where are you and Y/n?” 

Yunjin stopped in her tracks as she tried to hear what Kazuha was saying over the noise in the background as Y/n wasn’t answering her phone. 

“I kind of lost Y/n somewhere and she doesn’t have her phone.” 

“What? Where are you then?”

“I just got to the main entrance.” Yunjin groaned and turned on her heels as she started to walk her way back to the main entrance. “How do you lose her?”

“I’m not the one who lost her, Y/n always gets distracted and loses us, plus I can’t see her in this crowd, she’s too short.” Yunjin snorted at that, she knew her best friend like the back of her palm and how she could see something and walk off from everyone else without a word. The 5’3 flyer was good at getting lost. 

“I can see you–your hair.” The ginger's eyes started to search as she was approaching the main entrance. 

Chaewon stopped in her tracks as the captain she had glanced at a good minute ago was no longer beside her. She kind of sensed that it couldn’t be too good; she had the cheer captain's bow. 

Her eyes searched through the crowd of people, but her height did no justice. The next best thing that came to mind was to stand still and hope that they would run into her while she tried to get her phone out of her pocket. 

Just as she fumbled out her phone, her head snapped up, “Chaewon!” A smile unknowingly tugged on her lips as she saw Y/n quickly running over to her. The girl in the cheer uniform made her stomach nervously flutter ever since she first talked to her and that usually was the case with pretty girls. However, that feeling passed after a few hours of talking, but that little flutter was slowly developing into a crush instead of disappearing and Chaewon was fully aware of it. 

She did feel guilty about it though; Yunjin and Y/n were in a relationship or dating, one of those. The girl didn’t know which, but either way she didn’t want to get in the way. Well, she hadn’t asked, but she was quite sure because everyone was close in the friend group, but the two seemed to be more than just friends. From Chaewon’s point of view at least. 

“I lost Zuha, I don’t have my phone and Jen has my bow–” The girl went on talking as she grabbed hold of Chaewon’s hand and pulled her to the side, away from the walking crowd. She bit on her lower lip to get rid of the smile she became painfully aware of. “Where’s Jen?” 

“Uhm–I lost her, but I have the bow.” 

Y/n turned around and Chaewon showed her the bow in her hand, making the distress on Y/n’s face wash away, being replaced by a smile. This time the smile was directed solely towards Chaewon and it made her chest fill up like an air balloon with how much warmth spread through her, all running up to her cheeks. 

“You’re my saviour today–” The girl was about to reach for it but stopped, “could you help me put it on, I don’t have a mirror and will mess it up.” 

Chaewon wanted to argue that the girl could do it once she was back with her team or have Kazuha or Yunjin help her simply because her hands were trembling and she was scared she would mess it up. The last thing she wanted was to get even more awkward even if it was only coming from her side. 

However, she knew that she didn’t have the heart to deny the girl nor did Y/n have the time to wait around as the performance started soon.

The girl hummed with a nod and sucked on her lower lip as Y/n stepped closer to her, tilting her head down. Chaewon was probably an inch and a half taller, managing to reach just fine.

“You know how to do it, right?” The question made her look down at Y/n as she reached for the already-done ponytail. This was probably the closest she had been to the girl and it was making her even more nervous, especially when Y/n looked up at her through her lashes. 

She gave a short hum and nod of affirmation–again–the girl in front of her let out a breathless chuckle. Chaewon did her best to keep her attention on Y/n’s hair as she pulled the ponytail through the tie, making sure the bow stayed in place the whole time.

“How are you feeling about the game on Friday?” 

She glanced away from the hair for a second, seeing that Y/n was looking up at her the whole time, it was making her feel warm. 

“Shouldn’t I ask how you are feeling about the performance you have coming up?” Chaewon asked back.

Her first game on the team was next week despite not being on the starting lineup or getting to play much she was still more and more jittery the closer the game was.

Y/n subtly shook her head. “I don’t like talking about them right before, makes me too nervous…I like to pretend that I’m here to be part of the audience until we are on the stage.”

“Okay–” She acknowledged, licking her lower lip as she concentrated with her eyes back on the ponytail. “I’ve always been comfortable on the field, but I’ve played on the same team for years so I’m kind of scared even if I might not play much.” The girl couldn’t help but admit, trusting Y/n to carry these words with tenderness as she didn’t have anyone to open up to anymore. Chaewon felt alienated no matter how welcomed she had been, she had yet to get close enough to anyone to open up but Y/n made it easy.

There was a pull towards her and her aura; one that made words slip past lips much easier.

“Do you think that’s because you still have to get more comfortable with your teammates or with the fact that you’re playing on your home field even though it doesn’t feel like home?” 

The words made Chaewon stop for a second and look Y/n in the eye again as she hadn’t been able to tell what it was that made her feel scared when the field had always been her home; her comfort. Y/n just made it clear for her; the exact problem was that it had always been a home when she played in her old jersey, with her old team and this had yet to start feeling like a home. 

“I think that’s it, everything feels foreign even though I’ve gotten accustomed to how you guys play, it feels like something is off.” 

Y/n hummed at that.

“I think that once you get on the field during an actual game, adrenaline will make you feel right at home like this is right where you belong…it will happen so quick you will only realise it after.”

She pulled away from the cheerleader, the sweet scent fainter as her senses were being filled by the dull air of the centre again. The words made her think about it, trying to figure out if that would be the case, it sounded too simple. 

“You think so?” Chaewon asked, her hands fiddling with the loose material of her jeans as she watched Y/n who made sure the bow was secure. 

“Yeah, your home is where the ball is no matter who you play for.” 

It suddenly made sense to Chaewon who smiled as Y/n had managed to change her perception of things and it made the tension wash away. If anything, Chaewon was now looking forward to the game to finally be able to find her home again by playing where the ball was. 

“Thank you for that, I needed someone to talk to about it—I like talking to you.” She felt herself blush at her own words, unable to recall when she was so easily flustered by someone, let alone by the words that left her lips. Her hands clutched onto the material of her jeans as Y/n smiled even bigger at her. 

“Well, I don’t mind helping and you have my number if you want to talk.” 

Chaewon didn’t get to get another word in though as her heart started to sling around in her chest and they were joined by the other two. The girl remembered that she maybe should try to avert her eyes away from Y/n when the girl was engulfed in a hug by Yunjin.

“Where were you?” The shorter girl complained and Yunjin pulled away from their brief hug, a frown graced her features for a split second at the bow in Y/n’s hair that she always helped her with. However, she dropped it because she knew that Y/n always relied on Yunjin’s presence before her performances—the ginger was Y/n’s cheerleader—and she didn’t have much time left now. 

It wasn’t talk though, just her presence alone and she had no clue why and neither did the cheerleader have an explanation when she asked aside from it being her Jen.

“I was looking for you–” She wanted to continue but couldn’t let go of the thought that she hadn’t helped Y/n with her bow. It wasn’t the end of the world, but it was part of a habit, it was like a ritual before every competition that they had done since they were kids. “When did you put this on?” Yunjin curiously asked, her fingers doing a minor change to the bow and Y/n looked up through her lashes at her hand.

“Chaewon helped me because we’re short on time–” They truly were short on time when Kazuha linked her arm with Y/n and pulled her away from Yunjin.

“We have to go, Yeonjun texted that the coach needs us all together,” Kazuha informed them as they were already walking away.

Yunjin only waved, knowing that Y/n didn’t like it when someone wished her luck or talked about the performance beforehand. 

“Sorry for losing you like that.” She apologised to the girl beside her as she had only realised that Chaewon wasn’t with her once she reached Kazuha. 

“It’s fine, it wasn’t for too long.” Yunjin chuckled at that with a nod before they made their way to Jimin and Yujin.

Chaewon found herself in an even bigger crowd once they had made it to the other two and not long after she got to see the cheer performance of her life. Of course, the school’s team did great, but even the cheerleaders at her old school didn’t cheer as well as Yunjin did beside her while they watched them perform. 

She was sure she hadn’t seen two more lovesick people when they won and she watched Y/n run right into Yunjin’s arms. Chaewon watched from the sidelines as Y/n clung onto Yunjin who practically carried the girl. She congratulated the other two people she was close to from the cheer team, Yeonjun and Kazuha. 

What caught her attention were Yeonjun’s words. 

“I’ve never seen two more annoying best friends, the love makes me want to throw up.” 

It made her frown and look at them in confusion, but Yeonjun was already talking to someone else and Y/n had walked over to her.

Best friends? Love? It could mean so many things, couldn’t it?

Had Chaewon read too much into their relationship? However, two best friends could be in a relationship, couldn’t they? The longer she observed them the more confused she grew as the signals weren’t mixed, but clear, however; clear with what intentions? Were they together? 

Chaewon was too shy to forwardly ask, especially if she was right and they were a couple. She didn’t need Yunjin to assume that she had a crush on Y/n–she did, but that was her secret–it would be awkward and she didn’t need to lose friends she just made. 

Loud.

Loud was one of the only words that could fill her head as she nervously fiddled with the polyester of her white shorts. She was benched, but that didn’t mean that her nerves weren’t spiked as she watched the team play. The crowd on the bleachers was loud and the only few times her eyes drifted away from the ball was when the cheer team would motivate the team and make the crowd even louder.

One cheerleader still stuck out to her. God, Y/n stuck out like a sore thumb in Chaewon’s eyes after knowing her for two weeks and she was stuck in a dilemma. Was she supposed to forget about her crush or keep crushing in secret even if Y/n wore Yunjin’s varsity jacket with the number 8 and the girl’s last name? It wasn’t like her crush was hurting anyone as long as she kept it to herself, and if it did, the only person it would hurt was Chaewon.

It made her space out once again, her eyes losing the ball and getting stuck on the setting sun in the distance as the crowd's noise disappeared. 

It wasn’t right, she was sure that if Y/n and Yunjin weren’t in a relationship, they at least had to be dating while slowly pursuing something with how close they were.

However, Y/n made her feel so at home in a foreign place that she sometimes doubted her assumptions because of how close she was to the girl. The cheer captain was hard to crack with how affectionate and caring she was.

Y/n was caring, kind, observant to the people around her, intelligent, athletic, pretty, and bright—Chaewon realised that she was starting to list things about Y/n in her head once again and it made her feel guilty once she remembered how Yunjin and Y/n looked at each other.

Ideally, she would want to date the girl and slowly pursue something more than friends while they were still getting to know each other so it wouldn’t be a deal breaker if she confessed as a friend. It seemed perfect since they had just met. Or maybe she could set a standard to find someone like the girl?

It did not matter how many times she tried not to, Chaewon kept spacing out with the same difficult thoughts.

She cursed Y/n for bringing her such comfort yet she was more than thankful. 

Would it be wrong to test the waters because as far as Chaewon knew some people still went out with others during the early stages of dating? Just to show her gratitude.

But Yunjin; Chaewon found a great friend in the captain.

She had yet to get the clear meaning behind the words Yeonjun said a week ago.

Chaewon jumped, flinching at the cold hand that brushed over her arm.

“Oh–I’m sorry?” Her eyes widened as she looked to her side at Y/n who let out a small laugh at the reaction. That momentary coldness she felt disappeared as heat ran over her whole body, certainly leaving her ears redder than they already were.

“It’s fine, I didn’t notice you.” Chaewon breathed out, rubbing her clammy palms against the fabric of her shorts. She looked around to see that the cheerleaders had spread out, seemingly taking a break for a few minutes. Her gaze went back to Y/n and her stomach flipped when she remembered the thoughts that she just had.

She scooted a bit closer to her teammate to make some more space for the cheerleader on the bench. Amidst the fresh scent of the green grass that had been watered, the scent she had grown familiar with danced its way around her as Y/n sat down beside her. Chaewon froze, glancing down as their knees touched and she tried her best to pay attention to what Y/n was saying.

“I noticed you spacing out and thought that it could have been because of what we talked about.” 

Y/n truly was observant and it was admirable, but now Chaewon had to lie because she couldn’t tell the girl that she was daydreaming about her. 

“Oh–well…kind of, there’s just a lot on my mind lately.” 

“Do you want to talk about it or get your mind off of it? Maybe the latter considering the circumstances.” 

She chuckled at the girl's words and nodded her head because the last thing she needed was to get her head occupied with more stuff in case she would be called to sub in.

“What are your plans for the weekend?” 

“I don’t have any yet, well–” Chaewon stopped for a second to contemplate whether or not she should ask if Y/n wanted to hang out. However, did Chaewon want it to be a normal hangout? Not really unless Y/n wasn’t truly single. “Probably practise some on my own.”

Chaewon decided to wait until she knew what exactly Y/n and Yunjin were.

“You’re like Yunjin, you two could probably head together.” 

Chaewon looked down at her cleats as she grabbed hold of the bench, almost jolting at how she brushed her hand over Y/n’s for a second. She seemed to be the only one to notice as the cheerleader was looking over the field. 

“You two are close.” The girl pointed out the obvious and tilted her head to the side to look at Y/n. She watched how the smile grew slightly bigger at the mention and she understood that even if she wanted to she didn’t stand a chance if just the mention of Yunjin made Y/n smile that big.

“We’ve been there for each other for so long, Jen means the world to me—she’s my person and always will be.” 

Yet Chaewon couldn’t help but admire it, wishing to have something similar with someone. Y/n looked at her and giggled, Chaewon catching the small tint of pink that shaded the girl's cheeks, but the same happened with hers as she had been staring at the girl once again. 

She was worried it would become obvious soon enough. 

Yunjin took a deep breath as she had been in her headspace the whole time, fully indulged in the field and game. She could feel the sweat dripping down her forehead, whatever loose hair strands that fell from her ponytail were sticking to her skin. 

The score was still 0 - 0 and she knew that they weren’t aiming for a draw or a simply good game. That was not what the coach wanted, their coach was harsh at times, but it always came with the best results.

Yunjin would always beat herself up though, but it was her dream and dreams meant sacrificing even a piece of herself. 

If they lost or had a draw then they didn’t do their best. 

That was why she could only spare the person she had been dreaming about for the past three years a second long glance as she was waiting for a throw-in from one of their defenders. 

That godforsaken feeling of longing, love and fear still slipped through her strongly made facade that she put up on the field when she saw Y/n laughing with Chaewon. Y/n made all her walls crumble so easily.

It made her exhale deeply to try and wash away that tinge of jealousy she felt. At the back of her head, she knew that this skinny love maybe wouldn’t last or maybe wasn’t even real and that any could sweep away her biggest dream. 

Y/n was becoming closer to Chaewon, not as close as she was with Yunjin, but it gave her zero reassurance. Yunjin couldn’t tell if she was close as in best friends or close as in love with Y/n anymore, she hated thinking about being the only one. Yet she couldn’t find out as she bit her tongue and focused back on the game when the ball got thrown to one of the midfielders. 

Chaewon’s conversation with Y/n was interrupted as the crowd started to cheer louder, the two joining in anticipation as they watched the midfielders create a perfect opportunity for the forwards when the ball got passed to Yujin. The captain was open as she was quicker on her legs than the defender who was tailing her. 

It was a perfect opportunity to finally set a score of 1 - 0 in the last 15 minutes of the game when Yujin lobbed the ball over to Yunjin. 

All that loud cheering turned into furious' ‘boos’’ and shouts of disapproval and dissatisfaction at the late tackle that ended with Yujin on the ground and the whistle being blown amidst the wail of pain.

Chaewon widened her eyes with her heart racing, unsure if it was because of what just happened to Yujin who was aided right away or the coach telling her to quickly warm up to get on the field. 

It wasn’t long until Yujin was being assisted off of the field to get taken to the hospital, giving Chaewon a thumbs up despite the tears in her eyes.

She felt jittery once again, the loud cheers that were erupted by the cheer team going right back to bring up the spirit of everyone. It put so much more on her than she already felt as she got on the field with her heart jumping without a stop against her ribcage like a bouncy ball. 

Yunjin was worried, to say the least, she hadn’t played long with Chaewon but she’d seen the girl's skills and she was good. However, she had no clue how well she worked under pressure, especially in important games. She wasn’t doubting Chaewon, the girl used to be a starting striker and captain just like Yunjin.

The worries of both girls’ disappeared right after the whistle blew and the game was back in play after the free kick. Something sparked within the both of them, seemingly sending the spark to each other as chemistry kindled between the two. 

Yunjin always excelled, going beyond what was the limit and she took notice of the fire in Chaewon who pushed beyond a different limit, one she wasn’t sure she could push. Any other day she would see it as a threat–especially as the captain and with Chaewon’s old position and title–but she couldn’t, not when they were attacking the goal once again, creating a perfect opening with a few minutes left. 

If they missed this opportunity they would have to try and push for a goal during overtime instead of wasting it to keep their winning score.

So the ball got lobbed over to Yunjin who ran into the penalty area the second the ball crossed the line. It wasn’t a hard decision, it never would be because she would never be selfish on the field. She had the opportunity to score a goal; Yunjin half-volleyed it over to Chaewon who had a better opportunity to score.

Y/n had been right all along and Chaewon hadn’t smiled as big as she did now ever since she landed at JFK airport when she scored. Her body was engulfed in the thrashing hugs of her teammates. Maybe she could find a home here after all as the adrenaline made her feel like she was floating in her zone of comfort again. 

The bitter taste in her mouth was no longer present, replaced by the sweet sound of the whistleblowing not long after; winning 1 - 0.

“Huh and Kim.” The two girls didn’t get to join the celebration of their teammates for longer than a few minutes before being called by their coach. 

Their chests were still heaving with exhaustion and the coursing adrenaline in their veins as they glanced at each other in confusion. The people around them celebrated, the people dissipating from the bleachers to congratulate the team and head home, the clock striking 9 P.M.

“Great play from the both of you, especially at the end—I just finished talking to Yujin’s dad and as it’s looking right now she won’t be playing.” The two nodded, feeling relief at the praise, but concerned at their teammate's state who was at the hospital. 

“What happened?” Yunjin asked, her forearm coming up and wiping away the sweat before it would trickle down to her eyes.

“It looks like a sprained ankle so she won’t be able to play for the rest of the season which brings us here—” Yunjin glanced over at Chaewon who was attentively listening to the woman in front of them. “Chaewon will be part of the starting lineup as a second striker for the rest of the season, the decision is made based on skill.” The ginger knew that their spare second striker wasn’t nearly as good as Yujin and that Chaewon was perhaps–definitely–better than Yujin herself.

The coach nodded, dismissing the two as she walked away.

“I hope we can work with a perfect dynamic both on and off the field, Chaewon,” Yunjin said, turning to look at the shorter girl. The new starter parted her lips before closing her mouth, hesitating about what to say which Yunjin had grown used to as Chaewon was still getting comfortable around them. 

She smiled at the girl and stretched out her hand and Chaewon accepted it with a smile. “I will do my best—” They gently squeezed before letting go and Chaewon grew the courage to compliment her captain. “It was a great assist on your part, thank you for the opportunity.” 

“Always, we’re a team and I will always prioritise our whole team over my desire to score goals.” The two laughed at Yunjin’s words as they headed over to the huddle of cheerleaders, teammates, and other students while talking with each other. 

The thoughts of competing with each other disappeared as they worked better together than against each other.  

“You two did so well, that pass and goal were–” The rest of the cheer captain's words were muffled as her face ended up in Yunjin’s jersey who grabbed hold of her best friend when she jumped into her arms. It warmed Yunjin as she smiled, squeezing Y/n in her arms.

“Thank you, pretty girl, but your cheering kept us going,” Yunjin replied and Y/n pulled away with a grin.

“What about us?” Yeonjun questioned and Jimin was right behind him, holding the camera—pictures for the senior yearbook—Kazuha jogging over to the rest.

“I guess you guys did okay.” She said with a shrug, receiving dirty looks from the two cheer members. The warmth from her arms disappeared and her eyes trailed over to Y/n to see the girl grab hold of Chaewon’s hand and pull her over to them.

“Do we leave for the beach?” Jimin questioned.

Chaewon’s head perked up, looking away from the hand that was clasping onto hers but Y/n let go once they reached the group. 

The rest agreed and Y/n turned to her with a smile. “We usually head to the beach after with a few more people to celebrate, you included. Do you need a ride?”

It wasn’t long before she was sitting on the beach after being squeezed into one of the few cars as there were probably a dozen other students. The sun was just about to disappear fully, the weather was more chilly by the beach, the girl in a pair of loose jeans, a hoodie and her varsity jacket with the number 52 on it and her last name.

She had been sitting and talking with mostly Jimin who was sitting beside her on one of the blankets, Yeonjun joining in as he sat across from them on a beach chair he looked two times too tall for. Kazuha had dozed off on Jimin’s shoulder just an hour after they arrived. A small campfire–one of the two where another group was sitting occasionally butting into their conversations–kept them warmer while keeping the atmosphere. 

The shore where the waves gently brushed was also filled with laughter and shouts as a soccer ball was passed around as they played rondo. Part of that circle was Yunjin and in the middle with a guy was Y/n, running around and trying to get possession of the ball. 

Chaewon hadn’t had the chance to talk much more to Y/n after they drove off.

She was a wallflower; Y/n was a social butterfly. 

She’d argue that they were two worlds apart, but she was proven wrong as butterflies were always drawn to flowers. Y/n had approached her the first day and had continued to do so—

“Are Y/n and Yunjin together?” It barely made it past the ocean breeze, gentle waves, laughter and crackling fire as she mumbled the words into the air, they almost managed to get blown away by it. Her fingers fiddled with the soda in her hands, nervous to say the least as her heart pounded at the question she asked.

—but as much as butterflies were drawn to flowers, they also danced among each other the way Y/n and Yunjin did.

She glanced at Jimin who hummed, the girl looking at her and what she got in return was a breathless chuckle. 

“Does it look like it?” Chaewon shrugged at the question, watching as Yunjin ran away from the circle after tunnelling the ball between Y/n’s legs, the cheerleader chasing right after her. 

Their relationship was contagious and it made Chaewon smile, wondering if there was someone like that out there for her. Yunjin was more than lucky, she envied it but not in a bad way, she only wished to find happiness in a new place. She kind of had, but people always wanted more than they had, didn’t they?

“They look like the type that went from best friends to lovers.” She admitted. 

Their dynamic reminded her of two best friends while also having that extra step that made her believe that they were more. Those affectionate gestures, the way they looked at each other and held each other, those glances and touches she had taken notice of.

Chaewon rested her elbows on her knees, the soda can in hand as she spun the tab around with her finger. Her eyes left the two girls as Y/n tackled Yunjin onto the sand, their laughter being almost obnoxiously loud. They landed on Jimin who had been looking at the two and now looked at Chaewon with a slightly confused frown that disappeared as she shook her head with a smile.

“They are the first but not the second.” 

Chaewon frowned. “So they aren’t dating either?” She asked, wondering if they were in the stages of trying to pursue something. That guilt she felt for crushing on someone her new friend was with slowly started to disappear when the girl beside her shook her head.

“Nope, they’ve been best friends since middle school—” She watched as Jimin looked over at the two girls before looking back at her. “You’re crushing on one of them, aren’t you?” She teasingly asked and Chaewon took in a deep breath and held it, a blush dancing its way onto her cheeks and ears. 

Her knee got nudged by Jimin’s and she exhaled the breath that she was holding. “Y/n kind of caught my attention I guess.” She shyly mumbled, letting her hair fall and cover more of her face as she stared down at the blanket under her. 

“I’m vouching for you and if you need some good vouching, there’s no one better than Yunjin.” It made sense because who would be better than Y/n’s best friend? She could maybe look for some moral support and help. Chaewon knew that if the two were best friends she would need as much of Yunjin’s trust as she needed Y/n’s. 

“Ugh, there’s like a whole sandbox in my shoes.” Y/n groaned.

“I guess that’s what happens when you go to the beach and start tackling people,” Yunjin replied, looking at the girl who was sitting beside her on the sand after tackling her. 

Y/n gasped and tilted her head, “does it, Jen?” She mocked and Yunjin chuckled as the girl gave her a light shove as she slipped her shoe back on after emptying it of sand.

The wind blew colder and she watched the way Y/n’s hair blew out of her face, the girl still brushing away some strays that got in the way. Yunjin felt herself hold back a shiver, knowing that the smaller girl was cold as she only had a long sleeve and no jacket. It made her manoeuvre around, the girl giving her a confused hum as she looked back at Yunjin.

“Why are you always so underdressed?” She genuinely asked as she couldn’t remember a single time the girl had dressed according to the weather. It earned her a small chuckle as she settled behind Y/n who leaned back into Yunjin, having the girl sit between her legs. The striker adjusted her varsity jacket and covered Y/n with it too before hugging around her shoulders to keep her warm and to simply be close to the cheerleader. 

Yunjin no longer paid attention to the way her heart constricted before exploding as she had grown used to it after all these years. Especially after coming to terms at the beginning of high school that she was in love with Y/n. A small smile rested on her lips as she propped her chin up on top of Y/n’s head, cupping the cold hands that had started to fiddle with her fingers. 

After a minute of silence, she got her reply. 

“‘Cause it always ends with you hugging me or letting me borrow your clothes. I like that.”

Yunjin was so in love that it hurt and it hurt more each time she bit her tongue to prevent herself from saying it out loud to her best friend. It made her heart twist and pump extra hard, sending warmth throughout her whole body; each time it happened she felt at home. 

That warmth she felt with Y/n was the warmth of a home. 

She wanted to believe that neither said anything to make sure that it stayed this way forever. Yunjin wanted to be stuck in this moment forever even if she wasn’t in a relationship with Y/n at this moment. She could be stuck in a moment like this forever simply because it was just them and she never would have to worry that someone or something could ruin it. It was like a safe space where she knew that she had Y/n and would be the only one to hold her.

Yunjin was also aware that time didn’t stop, not even for love.

“I can do that without you possibly getting sick.” She mumbled. The girl in her arms hummed as their fingers tangled with each other. Yunjin stared ahead at the ocean before them, hoping to find them on the horizon; that somehow her dreams would happen. 

She lifted her head as Y/n turned the slightest in her hold and their eyes met. A smile on her best friend's lips whose hand found its way to the necklace she was wearing, toying with the pendant all while bringing Yunjin closer. It was these moments when Y/n pulled her even closer, where she looked Yunjin in the eye in a serene silence that brought them to Eden. It was these moments that made the girl believe that Y/n was in love when she just silently looked her in the eye.

Yunjin dreamed of getting rid of her bad habits where her mouth was glued shut, where she bit her tongue as it got tied when she was around the girl no matter how much those three words bubbled in her stomach. She dreamed of it being Y/n’s lips that glued her mouth shut by pressing against hers, that it was the girl biting her tongue, tying it with hers, but how did she tell that to Y/n? 

She always wondered what it was that Y/n saw and looked for in these moments with the way she waited. Was she waiting for Yunjin? Or did the soccer captain look too much into it? Was she looking at just a best friend or someone she wanted more with just like the striker did? 

Doubts, fears, worries, and insecurities all made her mouth get stitched together.

The ginger watched as Y/n’s gaze dropped, falling to the pendant of the necklace around her neck. Yunjin’s life would be mundane without Y/n in it, the girl who drove her insane in so many ways and there was no one else she could see herself as in love with.

“I’m lucky to have you.” Was what finally left the girl’s lip with a tired giggle after.

“I think I’m luckier,” Yunjin replied as the girl dropped her head, resting it under Yunjin’s chin who hugged her closer around her shoulders to shield Y/n from the wind. 

“Yeah, you are.” She chuckled at the words, smiling as she knew how lucky she was to have Y/n as her best friend. Yunjin knew that she was one of the luckiest people on earth by getting to feel Y/n’s love no matter in what form it came and with what intentions. She also knew how lucky she was to have the chance to fall in love with her best friend, to love her even if it was in silence. 

The sun was out and warming up the day, the grass on the field was not as green as the grass on the school’s field. It held a yellowish hue to it at certain spots on the enclosed soccer field. There was a gentle breeze of cold and Yunjin kicked the ball, the sound of it hitting the crossbar echoed through the air and she huffed a breath of exhaustion. 

“You’re a surprisingly good playmaker for a centre forward.”

“I used to be a second striker,” Yunjin replied as the ball smoothly glided between her feet and she walked over to where Chaewon was sitting on the grass with her water bottle. “Then our main striker quit and I became captain and main striker because of skill plus my height.” She proceeded to explain.

Yunjin put her hands into the pockets of the trainer she had on to not get too cold in just shorts. She carefully juggled the ball as she stood a few feet away from Chaewon. It was slightly after 1 PM and they had been doing 101 drills after Y/n suggested to ask Chaewon.

Aside from that, Yunjin wanted to get closer to the new girl, so the best option was to ask Chaewon to hang out.

Chaewon was starting to become a close friend like she was with her other friends. There wasn’t anything to complain about, especially with how much they had in common and would play alongside each other for a whole season. 

“Coach was sceptical of putting me as the main striker, thought I was better suited for second–” Chaewon started. “Mostly because of my height.” 

Yunjin looked over at the girl who smiled up at her, chuckling as she nodded her head at the words. “I think we can make the most out of the current lineup.” 

Chaewon hummed at that as she put her water bottle down, slightly tugging onto the sleeves of the compression shirt she had under her jersey. It was a surprise when she got a text from Yunjin in the morning, asking if she wanted to practise some drills. 

That feeling of possibly being alienated had started to fully dissipate.

She busied her fingers by pulling onto the strands of grass, the soft thuds of Yunjin juggling the ball filled her ears and she found herself thinking about the same thing once again. It felt like a good idea to tell Y/n’s best friend that she was starting to like the girl.

That thought had passed her mind a few times since last night, especially when she knew that she would spend time with Yunjin alone today. 

It could make things easier, especially since Chaewon knew that she was good at holding back because she was shy. She feared she would bite her tongue hard and long enough that by the time she would let go, it would be too late. The last thing she wanted was to regret something because her tongue was tied, but it was hard to simply untie knots of shyness that had been with her since she was little. 

She wished she could be more like some people around her and stop biting her tongue; Yunjin felt like a good example from her point of view. The girl always had Y/n’s attention and didn’t shy away.

A deep breath slipped past her lips and she looked up from the grass and at the girl in front of her. There was a mix of anxiety and fear swirling in her stomach, but she forced some courage into it, trying to think of how she only would live once and this was her senior year.

It was truly difficult and it got only harder the more she started to think about it; the more she would overthink, the more reasons came up not to do it. Dating within a friend group? What if Y/n didn’t find her interesting enough? What if she simply wouldn’t be good enough? That paired with the fact that Y/n’s standard was probably impossibly high seeing how her dynamic worked with her best friend. Was Y/n even into girls? 

It all made her want to curl up and hide as the dark gloom of anxiety covered the sky and cast a shadow over her. 

Why was liking someone so hard and scary?

She was supposed to drop the pessimism though.

Chaewon couldn’t let up pursuing something with someone whom she grew attracted to in the blink of an eye. What if this was meant to be and she would waste it because she was scared and shy? That seemed to be the dealbreaker.

“Would you vouch for me if I liked someone you know and are close with?”

“Yeah of course, why wouldn’t I?” Yunjin replied right away after the momentary silence that had fallen between them. It was a bit surprising to hear the girl be this straightforward, especially after seeing Chaewon hold back and shy away often. It let Yunjin know that she was comfortable with her. 

Yunjin obviously would vouch for her new friend and she couldn’t deny it because Chaewon was truly a great person and friend even if they had known each other for only two weeks. 

She got a hum from the girl, her eyes darting between the ball that she was juggling and Chaewon on the grass. Yunjin was about to ask who it was; her mind swirled with the people Chaewon had gotten close with and she was about to utter the words ‘Is it Jimin or Zuha?’ Maybe even Yeonjun no matter how insufferable he could be at times. However, Chaewon was much quicker and Yunjin’s world possibly crumbled into pieces even quicker.

“Okay, ‘cause it’s Y/n.”

The ball dropped, Yunjin felt her heart fall right with it and she couldn’t force a breath out for what felt like hours but was a few seconds. Unable to breathe for the few seconds that it took for her to register the fact that everything would change. 

What had yet to come was the acceptance of how everything would change.

How did she come to terms with losing someone she loved and being nothing more than best friends forever? How did she accept the fact that she would possibly never get to know or get to tell?

Once she was able to get a shaky breath out she realised that they were growing quicker than usual. Something was wrong, something definitely was wrong as a fire that destroyed everything in its way started in her make-believe world where it was her and Y/n forever whether they uttered it out loud or not. 

She was so set on her make-believe world that Chaewon liking the girl she loved didn’t cross her mind because in her head it was Y/n and Yunjin even if it wasn’t written for everyone to see. 

“What?” Yunjin’s voice was laced with confusion, that confusion wasn’t directed at Chaewon liking Y/n. That confusion was directed towards her dreams, that stupid horizon where their dream started. Had Yunjin been stupid enough to think that the horizon was reachable? 

That confusion was the uncertainty of what was next. What came next if Yunjin was in love, but too scared to confess because she didn’t want to lose a best friend, but neither did she want to lose a possible lover to someone else? Lose her by not telling her the truth before someone else gets the chance before Chaewon could unknowingly steal Yunjin’s dream.

“Huh?” Chaewon squinted her eyes as the sun peeked out from behind the clouds that were starting to clear from the sky. Her hand came up to her face to shield her eyes as she looked at Yunjin.

“Huh?” Was all that Yunjin could utter back, her hands jitterly pulling at her trainer as she started to feel uneasy at the fear growing in her.

“Y/n, I like her.” She repeated, assuming that Yunjin didn’t hear what she had said at first. Chaewon repeated them firmly, but that didn’t mean that she wasn’t crumbling on the inside because she was unsure of Yunjin’s reaction or if the captain would consider her enough for Y/n. 

“Oh.” That security disappeared from Yunjin’s life and was replaced by what she knew would be a constant fear of losing Y/n to someone else because of an even bigger fear. 

It made Yunjin crouch down before she sat down fully in front of Chaewon. Her eyes darted around, trying to find something to look at that could distract her from the forlornness and apprehension. 

“Yeah.”

“That’s…” There were no words for her to describe what she felt let alone words to say to Chaewon who just admitted to liking the girl she had been in love with since middle school. The girl she had accepted she was in love with at the start of high school. The girl she had wanted to confess to since then, but had always been too scared because of what a high-risk gamble it was.

“Honestly, I was hesitant until last night at the beach after I asked Jimin about it because I thought you two were together.” 

Her eyes briefly darted back to Chaewon who scratched at the back of her neck with a slight frown. Was Yunjin being obvious? If so, did Y/n notice it too? She didn’t want Chaewon to think that she as Y/n’s best friend didn’t find her good enough for the girl. At the same time, she didn’t want Chaewon to take the chance. 

She was stuck in a dilemma within a dilemma. The captain was starting to drown in despair, her tongue getting tied into a tighter knot than ever before as she so badly wanted to tell Chaewon that she loved Y/n. 

“We aren’t but…” Yunjin tried her best to push through, she was fighting for it, but it made her heartbeat worse than it was a second ago. The thought of losing a best friend felt just as scary as losing a possible lover. Her hands balled up the material of her shorts as she stared down at the grass, letting her hair fall and cover the frown on her face all while listening to Chaewon talk.

“I didn’t want to get in the way of anything and I was worried because–” Yunjin’s chest felt heavy and it only got heavier with all these suppressed feelings that grew like a garden. “Well, I wouldn’t stand a chance against you and it’s not like I ever wanted to see you as competition over a girl so I would get over my crush on Y/n if that was the case…I didn’t want to ruin our friendship either since I like where it’s heading.”

“Chaewon…” She didn’t manage to push anything out, there was a lump in Yunjin’s throat that wasn’t letting her speak. Those suppressed feelings she always refused to let out were blocking her airways. 

“It’s a relief, now I stand a chance, you know?”

“Chaewon, I–” She looked up at the girl who had a small smile on her face and Yunjin smiled back at her while feeling how her heart was being pierced by thorns. It felt like she was being mocked by her feelings, laughed at by her own heart for being so stupid. This was her chance to make sure that her new friend would get over her crush on Y/n. 

“I think you stood a chance right from the start.” 

However, Yunjin didn’t stand the slightest chance against her fears and so Chaewon didn’t have much to worry about from the start.

Now each day that Yunjin woke up was filled with such fear and dread that she didn’t want to wake up. Yunjin not only woke up afraid but went to bed even more scared, fearing that when she woke up she would do so to heart-shattering news.

The week went by with Yunjin feeling sick, her heart ached and she felt lost in the sea of choices that she had. There were so many that she could make yet it felt like she had no choices at all. Who was hurting her? It wasn’t Y/n. It wasn’t Chaewon. Yunjin was hurting herself.

Slowly she started to take notice of how over the week Chaewon had already started to make subtle moves despite her shy nature. Yunjin now saw how easily flustered the girl got and how giggly Y/n was with her too. With each time she took a deep breath, bit down on her lower lip, gazed at the girl she was in love with and reminded herself of how Y/n would forever be her best friend and that that’s something that should make her feel over the moon.

Yet all it did was make her happy and ache in pain because she would always have Y/n, but not in the way she wanted to have the girl. It was frustrating, especially because of the agony it caused her.

She knew that Y/n wasn’t spending less time with her because she wasn’t and Yunjin would never mind Y/n spending time with someone else. The problem was that Y/n was spending time with someone who liked her, someone Yunjin said she would vouch for yet every time Chaewon’s name left Y/n’s lips she couldn’t do more than hum because her voice had started to strain from the suppressed feelings. 

What used to be Yunjin walking Y/n to class started to feel like Yunjin dragging herself after Chaewon and her best friend. However, it felt like reassurance every time Y/n would tangle her fingers with Yunjin’s fingers while walking in the middle. Her eyes paying attention to the other girl who would talk before looking over at Yunjin with a smile that made her smile right back.

What type of reassurance was Y/n giving her? Was Y/n sensing that something was off? Yunjin didn’t want to be obvious, but she also wished she knew if that was reassurance of her not being replaced or reassurance of their skinny love going to last for years on end.

She was already reassured that she would never be replaced and she would never doubt that. What she did doubt was the fantasy she had lived in that she still hoped was true. Y/n loved her back.

Yet it lay heavily on her chest whenever she saw Y/n and Chaewon together. 

Her eyes kept glancing towards the open door of the classroom, not paying much mind to anyone else around her. It had been a month since Chaewon transferred, tomorrow would be two weeks since Yunjin’s stomach started turning and throat close up.

It was hard to move at times, scared she would do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing because of how she had been forcing everything to stay inside. That garden of feelings in her lungs was starting to get too big for her to hold in.

Yunjin was holding back the door that was ready to burst open with emotions while constantly sweeping more of them inside. 

The second she heard Y/n’s laugh, she felt a mix of relief and fear, knowing that her best friend was near but that she was probably with Chaewon. She and the girl had this class together, the class before was without Y/n who had physics with Chaewon. Yunjin knew that she would see Chaewon walk the girl to class, that was why Y/n wasn’t early like she usually would be so they could talk before class started. 

It was hard to hate Chaewon, Yunjin truly had no reason to hate the girl as she watched them outside the classroom. The new girl was perfect and if Yunjin hadn’t been in love with her best friend she would wish for nothing more than for Y/n to be with someone as good as Chaewon. 

Maybe she should wish for it right this moment because what if Yunjin wasn’t enough? How could she be when she didn’t dare to even express herself? She always prioritised Y/n’s happiness in the end. 

Chaewon was right there and Yunjin too, but even if she was, she knew that it was miles away with how those words couldn’t seem to reach Y/n. They never would as long as she screamed them on the inside. 

Y/n laughed, she smiled, her eyes sparkled, that little jump she did when excited, the way she paid attention, and held eye contact; it all hurt from how beautiful Yunjin found it. It hurt even more to think that if she did nothing about her love for Y/n; she wouldn’t be the only cause for those things to be ten times as bright. 

She wanted to make Y/n laugh the loudest, smile the biggest, and have her eyes glimmer like water in the sun from love. Yunjin wanted to be the biggest source of happiness as Y/n was hers.

The second she walked in Yunjin straightened her posture and felt that beating of excitement ignite in her heart like it always did. All those worries were suddenly gone as Y/n walked towards her and even if they were in a classroom that was starting to pile up with students; it was just them in Yunjin’s eyes.  

Yunjin wished she was more brave, but even the bravest people were scared of losing someone dear to them. 

It always made her warm the second Y/n was near her, listening attentively to what her best friend was talking about as she sat down beside her. Lately, Yunjin felt more nervous around Y/n, taking notice of how flustered she felt and the way her heart would beat after growing used to it only for it to plague her again. It was as if she was being mocked by her own body by being reminded of what Y/n made her feel and how she would possibly lose someone who made her feel so much to Chaewon because she was scared. 

“Do you have any plans for tomorrow?” She questioned the cheerleader, taking notice of how their knees were brushing against each other; how close they were sitting with her arm grazing Y/n’s now and then. 

It was all becoming a clear picture that she had grown so used to she never noticed its details anymore. 

Y/n smiled at her, Yunjin was expecting the usual answer since no one had planned anything. “You–” She raised her eyebrows as Y/n didn’t finish what she was about to say, realising a breath as she chuckled. “Chaewon just asked if I wanted to hang out tomorrow.” 

Yunjin inhaled before exhaling just as deeply with a pout that disappeared quicker than it appeared. She wouldn’t care, she never did care if Y/n couldn’t hang out with her when she asked or the other way around because it was a given that they would get busy with other people and things at times. It was simply the fact that she wished that Chaewon had never told her about the crush she had grown on Y/n because Yunjin hated the fact that she knew what Chaewon’s intentions were.

It wouldn’t be painful if she hadn’t known; Yunjin would have seen it as nothing more than a friendly hangout and not Chaewon trying to get closer to the girl Yunjin was in love with. 

“That’s fine,” she reassured Y/n, her fingers toying with the sleeves of her varsity jacket. Yunjin didn’t mind, she was just scared of where one simple hangout would lead because she still needed some more time to think this through. No matter how scared she was, she needed to be sure that those fears were worth suffocating for.

“I’m sure you can tag along–” Yunjin knew that Y/n’s kindness made the girl oblivious yet she hoped that it was more than kindness and obliviousness towards her. She stopped her, knowing that Chaewon asked just Y/n for a reason. As much as it hurt, Yunjin was a good friend and would continue hurting instead of hurting someone else. 

“No, she probably has stuff planned for the two of you…It’s not like there’s no next week.” Somehow it still felt like one of these weeks would be the last ones until Y/n would be swept away from her, ridding Yunjin of any chances to confess if she chose to do so. 

Chaewon wasn’t the best at planning, especially if she had yet to get to know Y/n on a deeper level. She took her chances the second she cleared her confusion about Y/n and Yunjin being together. It took away the guilt of crushing on the girl and it made it easier to act out on her feelings. Her gut feeling told her to finally ask the girl out and she did, but she wasn’t brave enough to clarify that she would like to take her on a date.

It was a hangout.

She winged it after getting to know a bit more about Y/n, spending each free moment between them talking and showing interest. The perfect moments were the classes they had together, the few classes she could walk Y/n to and the times she bumped into the girl between periods.

Chaewon did her best to show interest, forcing herself to break down her wall of uncertainty and shyness–still struggling–hoping that she was enough to get Y/n’s attention back. It was more difficult than she would’ve thought as the girl seemed to fall between oblivious and knowing yet playing dumb. Chaewon couldn’t figure it out. Was Y/n getting the hints or was she oblivious to them?

Or maybe it was Chaewon’s fault as she hadn’t dared to be obvious enough either because of how frightening it was to be vulnerable about her feelings, especially as someone closed off and typically shy.

She worked with what she had.

And so she was walking with her hands in her pockets, too nervous to take them out as she kept fiddling with stuff while walking beside Y/n at the aquarium. The enthusiasm and just Y/n in general was making her smile, her little crush was growing gradually, being blown up like a balloon and she had to bite back to not smile too much at certain times. 

“Do you miss Austin a lot?” The girl suddenly asked as they reached the moon jellies.

Chaewon felt that stupid longing again and she wasn’t sure why it mattered so much if she was in her senior year and would be moving away to university after. Maybe because it was so sudden and unfair to just be dragged away from her home as it was the last year she would get to spend there. Now once she left for university, when she would visit home it would mean visiting this new home and not the one where she grew up.

Chaewon had left a part of her behind and now wanted to find a way to fill it and build a new part so it wouldn’t be as arduous. 

“I do miss it, all the friends I had there, memories, the place where I grew up—” She replied, glancing at Y/n who was crouched down to look closer at the jellyfish. It made Chaewon crouch down too beside the girl, the calmness of the moment, all the moments she had with Y/n filled that empty spot slowly. She assumed that it was because Y/n was the first one to make her feel welcomed and at home whether with words or actions.

It could have been anyone, but she was lucky enough to land on Y/n in the school.

“It will always be my home, Long Island is great but it will never be the place where I grew up.” So much for being a closed-off person, it felt like she was knocking over glasses filled with water when she was with Y/n from how much she so easily let spill from her mouth. She couldn’t seem to seek solace in anyone else. 

“It won’t be the same when you visit home now if you leave, will it?” Chaewon rested her arms over her knees and rested her cheek on top of them to keep her gaze on Y/n instead of the jellies. It made her smile at how understood she felt by the girl. It warmed her that the cheerleader did her best to understand even if she had lived in Long Island since she was born. 

Chaewon pursed her lips at the smile that grew, the heat that warmed her cheeks and the way her heart started to race. “It won’t unfortunately.” She mumbled, watching how the blue light illuminated Y/n’s beauty, letting her know that there was beauty everywhere in the world and not just where her home was. 

Y/n made her heart jump when she was caught looking at the girl, however, she couldn’t look away. The cheer captain didn’t seem to mind being more interesting than the exhibit was to Chaewon. 

“We will help you create enough memories during senior year so you have something to come back to and reminisce about.” That was where Chaewon hoped that all her new friends would come in and help, especially Y/n who she hoped she had a chance with. It would be memorable and something she would want to come back to if she was with someone who lived all their life in the state. 

“That would be great.” The cheer captain nodded at her words, looking back at the tank with the jellyfish. 

“Where are you going after the school year ends?” 

“I’m hoping to get scouted by UCLA, that’s where I want to apply either way.” Her words made Y/n look right back at her with a small smile. 

“Maybe some of us were destined to meet or we would be brought to each other by fate, depending on what you believe in.” 

“Why’s that?” Chaewon questioned, getting back up on her feet as Y/n stood up. 

“We’re applying for the same school, Yunjin is hoping for the same as you. So maybe if you hadn’t moved here, we would still meet if we got into the same university—” She walked beside the girl, their shoulders and fingers brushed against each other, making Chaewon grab onto the material of her hoodie. “You know the whole ‘brought to each other by fate’ or ‘destined to meet’,” She chuckled at Y/n’s words, assuming that the girl had no clue how much more they fueled Chaewon. 

What if it was meant to be? Chaewon had heard that love had its ways of bringing people who are made for each other together. Maybe that was why she grew attracted the second she saw Y/n. Was it the same for Y/n? What if Y/n would be the one she was going to fall in love with? Her heart started to beat tenfold, her silly little crush growing more serious with each second she thought about it. 

It would be best if she stopped indulging in superstitions before she hurt herself. 

“How are they coming out?” 

Chaewon chuckled as she looked at the latest picture, moving her phone away when the cheerleader tried to get a peek at her screen. “There’s no deleting any.” She established first as she found every picture of the girl overly perfect and memorable. Photogenic was yet another thing the girl was. 

Y/n was perfect; it could be Chaewon’s heart eyes, but there truly wasn’t anything to dislike about the girl. There was beauty on the outside which was the first thing Chaewon caught onto when looking at Y/n when she first stepped out onto the field on her first day and then she noticed the beauty on the inside when Y/n first spoke to her and made her feel at home.

“That means that they are bad,” Y/n complained, making her shake her head in disagreement.

“The opposite, I don’t think it’s possible to get a bad picture of you.” It made her laugh when Y/n at last managed to grab hold of her forearm and she let the girl overpower her, bringing down her hand with the phone. Her free hand went up to the girl’s head, petting along the plush penguin beanie the cheerleader had on her head that Chaewon bought for her on their way out of the aquarium. 

“You’re being bold today.” 

“It’s easier when you look this cute and less intimidating.” She mumbled before flicking the beak of the penguin and taking her phone away from Y/n. Chaewon looked down at her phone and the lock screen flashed open with a new wallpaper. A picture Y/n had taken when she was busy looking at the girl’s beanie, petting her head and Y/n pouting at the camera. 

“The cost of keeping those pictures is me and you as your lock screen–” She smiled at those words, something she found herself doing with just the thought of the girl who stood in front of her. “You look cute all engrossed by my beanie.” It made Chaewon look down at her feet and her shoulders slump inwards as she put her phone back into her pocket at those words. 

Y/n called her cute.

If only she knew that she was all engrossed by her and not the beanie.

She glanced over at the river they were walking alongside and she thought about it for a second. Just a second and not any longer because if she spent a second longer she would end up overthinking and backing out. 

“Y/n…”

“Yeah?” She heaved a sigh as she looked at the cheerleader in front of her. Hands started to nervously twist the material inside her pockets while looking at Y/n who had the sun gently casting its rays on her skin. Her eyes sparkled, dimples prominent as she kept a small smile on her lips while looking Chaewon in the eye–Chaewon trying her best to keep eye contact–waiting.

“Would you mind thinking of this as a date rather than a hangout?” Chaewon’s heart was beating in her ears and she felt like she would get a heatstroke from the waves of warmth that covered her face. 

If she hadn’t been gripping inside her pockets her fingers would be trembling with anxiety. This was the boldest and most straightforward she had possibly been and it was twisting her stomach. 

“I have to be honest…” That worry grew with those words coming from Y/n. Her eyes widened in fear of rejection and she was starting to regret that she even asked to begin with. Was this it? 

“I kind of figured those were the intentions when you insisted on paying and handling everything.”

Chaewon exhaled deeply, relaxing her body while her heart continued to pound because it had yet to calm down like the rest of her. Maybe she had been obvious enough without having to say it. She didn’t manage to utter a single word, still trying to collect herself from the fears she faced while watching Y/n grab hold of the flaps of the beanie while staring up at her. 

“What kind of date?” 

Chaewon had practised this answer because she didn’t want to move too fast or too slow. After all, there was no way she was the only one in the entire school who was interested in Y/n. 

She cleared her throat, getting rid of the trembling it would possibly do. 

“A no-pressure date where you don’t have to think about where it’s heading, but rather to get to know each other without having to think about whether you like me or not and just get close for the first few ones before you think about the rest to know for sure if you want anything more or not.”

She was sure that no matter how many times she practised it, she still ended up rambling because she felt out of breath at the end of her sentence. Her wide eyes laid on Y/n, expectant, hoping that what she had said made sense because it did in her head. It did earn her a small giggle which she hoped meant that she was doing something right. 

“Okay, but there’s one thing.”

“Of course.” She had never agreed as quickly before, feeling the giddiness grow within her while biting on her lower lip to stop herself from grinning. 

“Nothing gets awkward if you ask me to date you and I reject you for any reason. I also think it will be better if you don’t ask for reasons so it doesn’t ruin anything.”

“You sound set on rejecting me. You don’t have to agree out of pity.” Her hands came out of her pockets, pulling her sleeves down and squeezing them to get rid of the clamminess on her palms. She proceeded to scratch at her neck, her anxious habits kicking in right away as her hands were jittery. The possibility of it being out of pity hung in the air as she watched Y/n shake her head.

“I’m not, I just don’t want a possible friendship getting ruined if it doesn’t come to anything.” She could get behind that considering they were still getting to know each other and it could either evolve into a friendship or something more from this point. 

“Okay–” A calmness finally washed over her as they stood by the river, taking in a deep breath as she gazed over Y/n’s slightly flushed face before she looked at the hands that were clutching on the flaps of the beanie. 

“Can I hold your hand then?” The blushing was starting to get overwhelming for Chaewon, but she couldn’t help but push herself as she was beginning to get comfortable with it the more she did.

“Yeah, what else do you usually initiate on a first date, Chaewon?” Shivers danced along her hot body when Y/n let go of the flaps and slid her hand into Chaewon’s properly for the first time. Her brain ignored all her other worries she had about holding Y/n’s hand as they started to walk, only being able to think about the fact that she was holding her hand.

“Hand holding and hugs…Maybe a kiss on the cheek from you if you enjoyed it.” She mumbled the words into the air as she watched their hands.

“You’re so sly.” Chaewon wanted to squeal–she would once she got home–when Y/n stopped and placed a small peck on her already scorching cheek before she pulled her to continue walking along the lake while holding hands. 

Saturday was game day with Chaewon’s first game on the starting lineup and Yunjin wasn’t worried after all the drills they had been practising for the past two weeks. She had other things to worry about even if her priority should be the upcoming games aiming to become state champions to then take part in nationals. 

However, Y/n would always come first, especially if it felt like she was on the brink of losing something she didn’t yet have with her but wanted.

“How was yesterday?” Yunjin only managed to have a brief conversation with Y/n about her hangout with Chaewon as the girl was helping her stretch before the game. Honestly, after she got the answer, she didn’t want to talk more about it because her throat closed up with feelings she suppressed and her stomach twisted. 

“It was fun, we went to the aquarium, walked along the river, got some snacks and then she drove me home–” Yunjin settled for the answer and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear the rest from Y/n but she still did. “She asked if I could think of it as a date instead of a hangout.” 

That heavy gloom had washed right over Yunjin, it felt like she was in the deepest parts of a blue sea where it was hard to breathe without it burning her lungs and making her tear up.

“Did you?” She carefully asked to make sure and to mask the quivering in her voice. 

“Yeah, it’s just to get to know each other first without thinking about what’s next.”

“Do you think there will be more?” Yunjin wasn’t sure why she asked because she knew that she would shed that gloom that coated her if Y/n answered with something she dreaded hearing. All she got was a moment of silence as Y/n looked up at her in thought, tilting her head as she shrugged. 

“If it happens it happens naturally and at its own pace so I can’t say much.” 

Was this Yunjin’s shot to still have her chance with Y/n?

It was never too late for love, was it?

Yet her mouth was stapled shut and the more dates she watched Chaewon take Y/n on the more frustrations stored themselves behind that locked door of emotions. It was hurting to hold it closed. All those frustrations were towards herself and she didn’t think she could have taken them out on someone else. 

They were getting the best of her.

“What is up with you, Huh Yunjin?” She could only stare down at her hands as she sat in her coach’s office after practice. 

Yes, they were on a 5 - 0 - 0 winning streak, but Yunjin knew that she was slacking and it was just like the coach said; “You are physically on the field, but where’s your head?” Her head was stuck on her best friend possibly falling for someone who wasn’t her, her head was stuck on thinking about losing someone she loved to Chaewon.

“I’m sorry coach, I will get myself together for the next game.” She apologised, ready to stand up and as she did she was stopped.

“If you don’t I won’t have a choice but to bench you and make Chaewon the captain.” 

Yunjin knew that it was all her fault. She should be able to put up that facade she had made when she was on the field to not let her emotions get the best of her when playing. 

It was impossible to put away the mess of emotions inside her though and even hanging out with Y/n wasn’t making them go away. All she could think about was how her world was starting to crumble. 

Would Chaewon unintentionally take everything away from her simply because she couldn’t keep her composure and untie her tongue?

That seemed to be the last straw and the door burst open at the worst moment possible.

The second half was almost halfway done, 0 - 0 and she could feel the pressure of her complicated emotions and the coach’s words together with an expectant crowd. Was she just about to lose again? That anger she had towards herself for not being able to do what she needed was starting to seep through and make her take it out the wrong way. 

Yunjin found it unfair; she had been playing for ages for the school’s team and was being threatened with being replaced by Chaewon. It felt even more unfair that someone she had known for years and loved for almost just as many would be Chaewon’s. The situation she was in was against her and it wasn’t fair considering the amount of love she had for Y/n.

The ball was passed to Chaewon as they were attacking the goal, at least the intention from the midfielder was to pass it to Chaewon who would forward the ball to the captain for an assist. That was until Yunjin’s overwhelming emotions got the best of her and she stole the ball right before it touched the second striker’s foot. It caused her shoulder to bump into Chaewon’s. It was harsh enough to have Chaewon almost stumble to the grass, barely catching herself with the tips of her fingers while continuing towards the goal.

At the back of her head, Yunjin still remembered her words and her morals; she would always prioritise the whole team to make sure they won over her desires. 

That wasn’t the case this time because if it hadn’t been for Yunjin’s anger that turned her selfish they would have scored. What they got in return was the captain getting squeezed by two defenders and tumbling onto the grass before the whistle was blown and their chance of scoring was lost. 

The wet grass she had fallen onto left a taste of metallic anguish in her mouth while the scent of dirt lingered by her nose. The force had left her lungs to burn, but she was overwhelmed by her frustrations to feel the actual pain.

“Are you okay? What was that about?” 

She harshly wiped the sweat off her brow to not get any in her eyes and her hard glare landed on Chaewon who was panting for air while extending her hand to help the captain up.

The girl was nothing but a good sport even if what happened wasn’t slightly her fault. Everything was Yunjin’s fault and always would be, wouldn’t it? Losing her title, losing the girl she loved, and wasting opportunities; were all Yunjin’s fault.

Confusion lingered in Chaewon’s gaze as Yunjin shoved her hand away. “Leave me alone, Chaewon.” Yunjin wished and hoped that the girl would disappear fully from her life no matter how perfect she was. It only made her wish that much more for the girl to disappear as she got up on her own, holding onto her knees as she leaned over.

Yunjin tightly shut her eyes, trying to muffle everything and everyone, feeling the tears trickle from her eyes as they stung her warm cheeks. The team surrounded her, worrying pats on her back and questions were thrown her way. She did it all on her own and she knew it. Yunjin spat out the blood in her mouth as she bit into her lip when colliding with the grass.

The only thing that snapped her out of it was the coach’s voice and she shrugged everyone off of her. Her shoulder once again bumped Chaewon’s who she didn’t spare a second glance at while wiping the blood off her lip. The lump was hurting her throat, making her want to burst out in tears the same second she reached the woman in front of her. 

“You’re off the field, I will talk with you after.” Yunjin scoffed, ready to walk towards the bench. “Kim!” She was stopped though as her shoulder was grabbed and she looked at her coach. 

“I told you about the consequences, Huh, hand the armband over to Kim.” 

Her jaw clenched, fighting the tears that wanted to spill as she felt blow after blow hit her where it hurt the most with things she loved the most. 

Yunjin’s trembling fingers tore the armband off of her as she snivelled and turned just in time as Chaewon jogged over to them. She didn’t say a word nor did she wait for what Chaewon had to say as she opened her mouth; Yunjin shoved it into the girl’s chest with a huff, making Chaewon stumble before it fell to the grass and she walked away. 

It was somewhere between humiliating and not as her emotions blinded her while she walked off the field and past the bleachers, past everyone she knew and she didn’t stop. Yunjin couldn’t stop because the closer to the lockers that she got the more sobs started to spill from her lips. 

There was nothing else that she wanted to do but to love Y/n yet she hated how love made her feel like she was floating and then as if she was falling on her way to crash to her death. 

She had yet to cry about it, Yunjin had been suppressing every little bit of pain she had felt, and she had been suffering without shedding any tears. It was something she had gotten good at just like she was good at suppressing her feelings, letting them build up inside until she was choking on them. Her choked sobs echoed through the empty locker room as she cried into her palms, sitting on the bench.

“Jen…Can I come in?”

She looked up, her eyes falling on the door where Y/n’s soft voice came from behind. Yunjin snivelled, trying to figure out if seeing Y/n would make her feel better or worse. She knew that it would be the first, but she also knew it would push her tears further. The striker wiped at her eyes while mumbling a loud enough ‘yeah’ to her best friend. 

What she knew was that Y/n wouldn’t come in and assume how she was feeling, she wouldn’t pity her, she wouldn’t lie to her, and she wouldn’t invalidate the way she felt. Y/n would offer her comfort, let her find solace in her and simply listen to her. 

The problem was that she couldn’t tell Y/n how she felt, there was nothing she could let off her chest when it all was about the cheerleader whose shoulder she was crying on.

“Do you need anything?” Yunjin shook her head as she didn’t want anything but Y/n who was right beside her. It made her body shake as she cried, aware of the fact that she was crying because she finally had a way of letting out all these suppressed feelings and that what happened was the final push. 

She couldn't hold it anymore, it was making her body tremble and she felt weak because of the exhaustion she felt from holding everything to herself.

Her eyes stayed shut as she cried in the crook of Y/n’s neck with her fingers tangled in the girl’s top. She dwelled in the feeling of Y/n rubbing her back with one hand as the other gently massaged her scalp. Yunjin knew that she would never lose this, but she would never be able to call Y/n hers and that brought her pain even if Y/n could soothe it. 

“I’m always here for you, I will always listen to whatever you have on your mind, Jen, I’m here to just be a shoulder to cry on too.” 

She took in shuddering breaths, trying her best to calm down as she listened to the girl’s words, but somehow they made it worse. The kinder Y/n was, the more she cared; the more Yunjin fell and the harder the impact of the fall was. It hurt to fall because she didn’t tell Y/n the truth and had no one to catch her. 

“I hate it when you cry, Jen. I don’t want to see you hurting.” Yunjin knew that Y/n wasn’t stupid. One thing Yunjin knew was that her best friend knew her well enough to know that more than what happened on the field bothered her. 

It was enough for Yunjin to find the comfort that she needed without having to tell Y/n what it was because the girl was aware that it was more even if she didn’t know exactly what it was.

“Thank you…” She mumbled, slowly pulling away from the girl as she wiped away the remaining tears on her cheeks. 

There was so much she wanted to thank Y/n for, there was so much she wanted to tell her yet when she looked up from her lap and at her best friend she couldn’t bring herself to risk it. Her lips parted and they meekly left her lips, moving but barely as she couldn’t tell them loud enough for anyone but her soul to hear.

She watched how the corners of Y/n’s lips tugged up and the girl reached her hand up to her face. It made Yunjin’s ears ring from how her heart started to beat. “You’re so stupid, Jen–” A breathless chuckle left Y/n’s lips and the ginger swallowed, her eyes not being able to meet Y/n’s gaze. After all, it always felt like they were trying to tempt Yunjin, trying their best to coax those suppressed feelings out.

Y/n made it feel like the easiest thing in the world; there was no one easier to love than Y/n and so those words were easy to say to the girl. 

Yunjin was the one who made it the most difficult thing in the world; there was nothing harder than risking someone so easy to love. 

“It’s gonna be swollen, idiot.” Yunjin winced, pulling her face away from Y/n’s hold after the girl's thumb pushed against the side of her lower lip. The pain only kicked in now as she looked at the little blood it left on Y/n’s thumb. 

“I’m sorry for being tackled, I guess.” She grumbled, making Y/n roll her eyes. 

There was yet another knock on the door that interrupted them and Y/n stood up, walking over to the door. The ginger watched her open the door which made her look down when she saw who was on the other side.

“I will be back with ice.” Chaewon nodded at the girl who gave her a small smile as she grabbed the door to hold it while Y/n stepped outside. Her eyes stayed on the cheer captain for a second who walked away before she stepped inside and let the door fall closed. 

There was an awkward tension lingering in the air as she leaned against the door and finally looked at Yunjin who was staring down at the tiled floor under her cleats. Chaewon cleared her throat as she was there for two reasons. There was no way she could just let this go, not after what happened on the field. 

Chaewon took a seat beside Yunjin, her hands holding onto the edge of the bench as she looked at her cleats. With a deep breath that she released right after she looked at the girl who was still avoiding looking at her.

“Yunjin, did I do something?” There was no reason to wait around because no one would fix this for them. Chaewon didn’t like where it had ended because she hadn’t even known it was heading this way. As far as she knew there was no bad blood between them, however, she had a hunch about what it could be from Yunjin’s side.

“What?” The girl finally looked up, her lashes still wet, the blood dry on the corner of her lip. Chaewon pursed her lips, feeling sympathy for what her teammate and friend went through, from the fall to being ripped off the title of the team captain in front of everyone. 

“I feel like that anger was aimed at me and I’m not sure what I did, however, I’m willing to apologise if I truly did something to upset you.” She didn’t know exactly what it was, she could assume, but she wanted to know exactly what it was from Yunjin herself. Chaewon was willing to apologise for it because she could tell that it was more than the frustrations of pressure and feeling the need to win the game. 

Chaewon pissed Yunjin off with how nice she was, with how good she was because all Yunjin wanted to do was resent her, but it was impossible to resent someone who hadn’t done anything and was clueless about Yunjin’s feelings for the cheerleader. Y/n herself didn’t know. 

Her eyes looked over Chaewon as they stared at each other in silence.

Yunjin huffed and looked away, wiping away the remnants of tears on her lashes. The momentary silence let her consider what she should tell the girl. The consideration of telling Chaewon the truth about being in love with Y/n laid heavily on the scale as she wanted to lean towards it.

“Is it about Y/n?” Chaewon scratched at the back of her neck as Yunjin looked back at her after she broke the silence between them. She couldn’t help but feel like it could have been about the girl she liked. 

She cleared her throat as Yunjin was looking at her with wide yet confused eyes. The words that she pushed out from between her lips weren’t easy to say aloud even if it was easy to like Y/n. 

Chaewon still did it, “I like her, yes, but I’m not trying to hog or steal your best friend. I’m sorry if I may have been taking away from your time together, but those aren’t my intentions…Y/n will always be your best friend and I will never try to replace that.” Her hands dropped to her lap as she looked between them and Yunjin. 

Chaewon was aware of how much time she had been spending with Y/n both at school and outside of it whether they were planned dates or spontaneous hangouts. It wasn’t intentional; she liked Y/n and was trying her best to get to know her and possibly spark interest from the cheerleader’s side too. They had known each other for a good two months and she hoped to soon enough take the next step.

Yunjin sighed and looked in front of her to blink away the tears that wanted to fall again as those emotions were still faintly swirling around her head. That was the problem, wasn’t it? She would always be Y/n’s best friend. That was exactly the problem and she hated it even if she cherished the fact that Y/n was her best friend and the other way around.

“It’s–It’s not that Chaewon, we still hang out like we used to–” This was her chance even if it would be selfish to say it now that the girl beside her had been seeing Y/n. It would either spark competition between them or make Chaewon step back.

It still came with the same risks, the ones that made her overthink and back down. “It’s just the stress getting to me with these games, aiming for nationals and hopefully getting scouted along the way.” Her hands gripped the material of her shorts, angry with herself once again for refusing to say what she wanted. She would only be able to blame herself once it would be too late.

“Okay, I was worried it might’ve been that. I’m trying my best and hoping that she likes me enough so that I can ask her out to officially date…You think she would say yes?”

Chaewon was making it hard to stay collected once again and she managed to pull off a smile through the stinging in her chest. 

“There’s only one way to find out, Chaewon.” The girl beside her let out a breathless chuckle as she nodded while Yunjin felt stupid for saying those words to someone else, but yet she refused to listen to them herself.

“Also.” She looked up at Chaewon who got up to stand in front of her.

“I loved being captain back in Austin, but I could never accept this–” She watched her tear off the armband with the C on it before she held it out in front of Yunjin. “You’re a great captain Yunjin, you deserve to have it more than me or anyone else on the team. I never wanted to put it on, especially not that way…I will talk to the coach.” 

“Thank you, Chaewon.”

If only she could curse Chaewon out for making everything so much harder as she accepted the captain's armband back. 

Despite the small commotion on the field, they had won 1 - 0. 

Chaewon couldn’t help but feel like each day everything about this transfer felt better and brighter. She missed home, her old friends and everything else, but it all was being filled. It was a drastic change she thought would cause more damage than good however, she had been wrong.

After every game they won they found themselves at the beach and this time was no different. It served as a way for her to take time and reflect and see where she was now compared to when she was at the beach for the first time after just starting.

It felt less empty, there wasn’t as much confusion, she felt that emptiness within her after leaving a part of herself behind slowly get filled; building a new part in its place. There was a new home being built in her, that fear of alienation disappearing and she now longed after the familiarity of the new people she had grown close to. They were the ones who made her feel at home.

Home is where the heart lies; Chaewon never left her heart back in Austin.

She was feeling quite at home, slowly finding a place to call home as she leaned back against her palms, Y/n leaning against her shoulder that was behind the cheer captain. It had taken less than a month to find a place to settle in and around two months to settle and let her heart pump warmth to keep her home warm. It made Chaewon smile at how naturally it was all falling into place. 

The gentle crackling of the fireplace filled the air together with talk and laughter from the rest. The scent of the fire wasn’t as overwhelming when Y/n rested her head on her shoulder, her arm resting over Chaewon’s leg and fingers drawing circles on her knee. 

The cheerleader talked to the others while Chaewon rested her cheek against Y/n’s, letting the sweet scent and warmth in. It had become her new favourite one; it was the only one she knew just by entering a room right after the girl. It let her know that she would feel at home. 

“The starry sky suits you.” She mumbled, feeling the girl who was leaning against her chuckle. 

“Are you trying to disgust Yeonjun?” Chaewon huffed at that and looked over at the guy who was already making a face at their closeness. 

“He’s the biggest anti-romantic on this planet.” Her eyes fell on Y/n who looked up at her with a teasing smile.

“So you’re trying to be romantic?”

“If it’s working, then yes.” She smiled as Y/n giggled and looked back at Jimin and Kazuha who called for her attention. Her heart raced with warmth as she watched Y/n continue to trace patterns along her knee while talking. 

Chaewon knew that there was no need to wait any longer, there was a garden of feelings growing in her chest for Y/n and she needed to let them out before she would suffocate. She needed to tell Y/n how she felt before she could start hurting from suppressing it in her.

Yunjin found herself walking back towards her group of friends after trailing off and standing alone in the cold sand with the wind blowing through what felt like holes in her body. Those same holes were ones she filled with the love she had for Y/n, the same feelings she suppressed until she was choking on them.

It took her all these years to realise that the longer she refused to express her feelings towards the girl the more it would hurt, it would hurt whether or not anyone else was in the picture or not. 

It was a punishment for keeping it inside her when she could have let her feelings grow because they were beautiful yet she suppressed them and let them cramp up inside her until it was burning her lungs.

Each time her throat closed up was because of something she felt but refused to say.

Love didn’t have to be painful, it had all along been her choice to make it hurt.

Yunjin had been hurting herself.

Her eyes scanned her group of friends, her hands in her pockets as she poked her tongue at the wound on the side of her lip. She knew that the heavy beating she felt in her chest mixed with an acidic sting when her eyes landed on her best friend and Chaewon could turn into the former alone if she confessed her love. 

Yunjin realised that even if she were to get rejected it wouldn’t hurt as much to see Y/n with someone else after. She realised where the problem lay; it was suppressing her feelings that hurt and not fearing them.

The only cure to be able to breathe normally again was to let her feelings flow out through her mouth instead of cramping them inside her lungs. She knew despite everything there was only one choice.

Yunjin walked over to the two as there was only one spot left which was beside Y/n who was wearing the captain’s varsity jacket; two, Chaewon’s resting in the girl’s lap. The longer she stared at the campfire in front of her the hotter her eyes felt as the realisation was starting to lift weights off of her chest and she knew what she truly had to do. 

It all opened up her cramped space for those feelings in her chest, growing like a floral garden, each petal, each flower being something she felt for Y/n. It was all the flowers she wanted to give to the girl and she knew that she would as she felt Y/n’s pinky intertwine with hers on the blanket. 

Yunjin wasn’t going to wait any longer as she glanced at Y/n, knowing that it was the girl she wanted to give all the flowers in the world to. All those flowers she had been dying from because of how much it all had grown in her chest without giving what she should have given to Y/n ages ago.

She was in love with her best friend and she was done with suppressing what was beautiful.

Remnants of adrenaline coursed through Yunjin’s body as they officially made it to the quarter-finals. Her heart continued to pound even after she had changed and she knew that it was more than just the high of qualifying. She had hurt enough because of love and she wanted to continue to love without the part where it hurt every time she didn’t express herself.

It felt like time was ticking away, especially after seeing how much closer Chaewon was to the girl yet Yunjin couldn’t help but feel like there was something between her and Y/n. That she hadn’t been living in a make-believe world this whole time and that their skinny love was true and Yunjin would take the step to turn it into love. 

The only thing she was losing was time she could have loved Y/n in more than silence.

“Okay, I’m just gonna find my dad to get the keys to his car.” Yunjin looked over her shoulder as she pulled her varsity jacket out of her locker to see Chaewon sling her duffle bag over her shoulder. She gave Chaewon a terse smile when the girl sent her one first before averting her gaze.

“I will meet you at the parking lot after.” 

“I will try to make it on time.” The second striker chuckled at Yujin’s words who walked after her with crutches. Chaewon opened the door and held it for the injured girl before leaving in a hurry. The door fell closed after them, the rest of the team keeping up their chatter.

Yunjin slung the bag over her shoulder and held the jacket under her arm to give it to Y/n like she always did. This time she hoped she could give it without it being platonic. With that, she bid goodbye to whoever she wasn’t going to see later and left the locker room.

She walked through the empty halls of the sports wing, hoping to bump into Y/n while she rummaged for her phone in the bag. Undoubtedly it felt like she was about to have a heart attack with how much it hurt when her heart started colliding with her ribcage, a faint lightheadedness clouding her as she did her best to take deep breaths. 

This wasn’t because she was afraid to express her feelings anymore, but because she was finally going to take the step to do something she had wanted for years. This was the excitement that was so similar to the fear that she almost mixed it up once again.

Yunjin couldn’t waste more time, Y/n wasn’t someone she wanted to make wait when she deserved every last drop of love Yunjin could give her.

The lack of a reply was making Yunjin’s nerves spike because she wanted to do it now and not wait a second longer. To get all these fears behind. Her fingers fidgeted with the jacket in her hands, glancing at her phone as she waited for a reply, aware that the girl often took longer in the changing room or wouldn’t have her phone right at hand. 

It wasn’t the first time Yunjin waited for a reply, but this time felt like ages as she leaned against the wall not far from the entrance of the basketball court. It was making her jittery, shifting on her legs as it was hard to stand still with all those petals and flowers tickling her stomach and lungs; Yunjin would burst if she wouldn’t let these things flow out for Y/n to hear at last.

Her phone screen lit up and she looked towards the entrance of the basketball court that burst open to see the cheerleader walk out with her eyes on the phone screen. Yunjin pushed herself up from the wall, her hands clutching onto the jacket to occupy her fingers and hold onto something to not back down once again.

“Jen!” She smiled as Y/n looked up from the phone and caught her presence right away. 

“Congratulations on qualifying, you guys did so well. You were perfect on the field.” Yunjin bit down on her lower lip at the words that were causing everything to overgrow in her chest. She could feel it pushing up by force this time, the garden didn’t want to wait; it was too beautiful to keep cramped up inside her. She needed to let Y/n know how much she loved her.

How in love she was.

“Thank you, we did our best, but–” The captain cleared her throat, feeling all those familiar feelings and pains she usually did because of how she suppressed her words. This time it came with reassurance to herself that she was going to do it. 

She took a deep breath as Y/n tilted her head, a small frown of confusion and Yunjin felt it all wash over her, this time melting and letting herself get coaxed by Y/n’s beautiful eyes when the cheerleader grabbed hold of her hands. That reassuring warmth of Y/n’s touch she always felt and got from the girl reminded her of how it would be fine.

It was clear to Yunjin that her overwhelmed body and nervousness lingered in the air and that Y/n could sense it. This time she let herself get lost in the comfort, the solace and trust Y/n brought her.

“There’s this thing I really want to tell you, Y/n.” She got a nod in response, thumbs brushing over her knuckles and she slid one hand out of Y/n’s grasp to nervously play with the pendant of her necklace. 

Yunjin could feel her mind drift off and she was aware that it would be a blur until it was over as she cleared her throat once again to try and get rid of the scratching she felt because of her nerves. 

“Anything, Jen.”

“There’s so much that I want to tell you and have wanted to say probably since we started high school, and I have always hesitated for even more reasons…” Her eyes searched for something to look at yet all she could look at was Y/n who was right in front of her. That frown on her face slowly disappeared the more Yunjin managed to ramble and push out, hoping that somewhere between these lines the words ‘I’m in love with you’ would come out. 

The pounding of her heart was muffling everything for her and it was warm. “I think that the biggest is the fact that you’re my best friend and I would never want to ruin that in any way.” 

She released yet another sigh and let her hand fall, clutching onto the side of her jeans. Yunjin couldn’t remember if she had ever been this anxious, the heat was coursing up to her face and ears and there was a faint buzzing in her ears. This was Yunjin facing her biggest fears and she knew that once she did it she would feel ecstatic. 

“It’s just that–It’s really hard to keep it to myself and I managed to keep it for years now. But, I can’t keep doing that because I always end up…hurting.” She inhaled once again, forgetting to breathe between her sentences. It was overwhelming with how much was on the line and she felt like crying because of the waves of emotions washing over her without a stop. 

She was desperate to tell Y/n that she was in love and even more desperate for the girl to feel the same. The longer it took the more her voice quivered and she still fought to avoid these negative thoughts and doubts that tried to hit her like they always did.

Her mind was in too big of a daze to take her time and read Y/n’s expression, the girl was looking at her with those usual soft eyes, letting her know that it was fine. That was all Yunjin needed to know to continue talking. 

It would be fine and Y/n would never hurt her.

“There’s so much and I don’t know what to start with or what exactly to say, but the thing I’ve always wanted to say the most, knowing that I can trust you as my best friend is that,” her last breath and it was right at the tip of her tongue. 

Y/n was her best friend and she could always trust her with anything and it would never matter what it was. Yunjin knew that she could trust her with her feelings and heart and tell her those words.

“Y/n, I’m painfully in–”

“I found the keys. I dropped them under one of the benches.”

It made Yunjin flinch when the door to the basketball court flew open, her heart hammering so quickly it was making her nauseous and she felt like fainting. Her blurred vision cleared as it landed on Chaewon who walked out from the court. The hold on her hand disappeared as Y/n looked over her shoulder at the other soccer player who walked towards them. 

Yunjin’s lips parted as did Y/n’s who was about to reply to Chaewon who walked up to them, fixing the duffle bag slung across her chest. Was she supposed to ask Chaewon to leave so she could continue? 

She was right there, she had practically said those words and it was the closest she had ever been. Yunjin was about to grasp her dream, she was so close that she was touching it with the tips of her fingers.

Could she ask Chaewon who wrapped her arm around Y/n’s waist with an even bigger and giddier smile to leave? Yunjin did everything in her power to avoid looking at Y/n, being able to feel the girl’s gaze on her face. It finally settled in her head that Y/n was already wearing a jacket; Chaewon’s jacket. 

“I got the courage and asked Y/n out, so we’re officially dating now.” It made Yunjin let out a breath as she nodded along to the information. She bit her lower lip, digging her teeth into it to prevent her eyes from getting wet. She was doing everything in her power to distract herself to not let herself shed tears.

Yunjin kept her composure during one of the worst moments of her life yet everything on the inside was suffocating her, it was growing around her heart. Yunjin could feel the thorns from the garden dig into the muscle making it bleed out and everything felt lifeless and heavy around her. So close, but her dream slipped right through her fingers.

There was one thing Yunjin couldn’t forget though, not in this moment or any other moment because Y/n always came first. It didn’t matter how much Yunjin was hurting, if she was being swallowed by pain, being torn apart from the inside with a lump in her throat that made it ache.

It didn’t matter if she felt like crying, she could wait just like she had done all these years. The worst that could happen if she waited was that she would drown in misery, but she had grown used to it, hadn’t she?

“That’s—I’m happy for you two.” She would always remember to be happy for Y/n. Y/n’s happiness would forever be Yunjin’s happiness even if the cheerleader's happiness was making her nose prickle and her eyes sting, unable to breathe from the tight grip those thorny stems had on her heart, squeezing.

Her dream had always been to make Y/n happy and dreams meant sacrificing even if it was a piece of herself. There was nothing greater she could sacrifice for Y/n than her heart in the end.

Yunjin glanced over to Y/n at last, feeling pain shoot through her heart and she hugged the jacket closer to her to try and ease it. She looked away from Y/n’s face, those beautiful eyes holding nothing but concern now. 

Yunjin decided that it would be best if she and hopefully Y/n forgot that she even started this conversation. It was the day her world crumbled into dust in the end and she didn’t want to remember that. 

She would rather remember it as the day Y/n found happiness in someone even if it wasn’t Yunjin.

Yunjin wanted to remember how much she loved Y/n and not the moment her heart broke because she loved her. 

“We’re taking my dad's truck. Want a ride or…” Her eyes nervously darted around as they fell on Chaewon who still had a smile on her face. She opened her mouth and searched for words all while feeling everything within her slowly go numb from pain the longer they stood in front of her. 

“Oh, I’m–no, it’s fine, I have my car.” Her voice couldn’t stop trembling and her gaze fell to the floor at last, unable to look Chaewon and especially not Y/n in the eye. It was all crashing down on her and she knew that she would break any second.

“Okay, see you there then, Yunjin.” She nodded her head and stepped aside, stopping by the wall as they walked past her. 

Yunjin bit her lower lip as her breathing picked up and the prickling in her nose was painful enough for the tears to fall at last. The bag on her shoulder slid down and she let it fall to the floor as she leaned against the wall to try and ground herself. She snivelled and wiped at her eyes with the jacket she planned to give to Y/n and her gaze still fell on them as she hugged it closer for comfort because she couldn’t go to Y/n with this anguish.

She watched her friend and best friend walk away, taking a turn and Y/n’s worried eyes met hers for a split second when the girl looked over her shoulder before disappearing. 

There was no holding back as she slid down the wall and pulled her knees to her chest, burying her face into the jacket while hugging them to seek some type of solace and salvation for the pain. Her tears hot tears spilled onto the jacket that she had saved for Y/n, but would now only serve to soak up tears.

If only she had found Yn first. She had because she had found Y/n years ago, but Chaewon was the one to finish first. Yunjin had been stalling all these years and when she finally decided that she was going to get Yn, someone swept the girl away right before her eyes. She had loved Y/n for all those years and now she would have to live with the regret of not telling her right from the start. 

She could silently brew resentment towards Chaewon for sweeping the person she had built dreams around right from under her feet.

Or maybe she should be thankful to Chaewon for saving her from possibly losing her best friend. One she would never be able to replace if her confession went wrong or even if it went right. She was sure that her best friend would stay no matter what because she could trust Y/n. Yet she tried to convince herself that she couldn’t know that and that it had been reasonable to hold back. 

She knew that it hadn’t been, she just wanted to ease the way her heart was beingtormented. 

The worst part wasn’t that she was too late though, but that she would never get to know if Y/n felt the same. If all those gestures were friendly or if they held a deeper meaning like Yunjin’s did. The worst part was that Yunjin would never get to know if they could ever have been more than best friends.

It was all Yunjin’s fault.

masterlist

“give me attention!” she whined, burying her face into her girlfriend's hair. 

y/n chuckled. “love, i'm sorry, but i won't be able to give you any attention today. i have loads of work to do and i don't know when i'll finish.”

chaewon pulled away from her girlfriend's hair, but her hold on the older girl tightened.

“can't you just take a break?” she mumbled, glaring at the laptop on the desk.

y/n gently pried chaewon arms off her and spun herself around in her chair so she could face her pouty girlfriend.

“once i'm finished with all my work, we can do whatever you want. how does that sound?” y/n said, a small smile on her face as she looked up the the younger girl. she gently grabbed chaewon's hand and caressed the girls knuckles with her thumb.

chaewon looked down at her lap, a small frown evident on her lips.

y/n noticed the frown and let out a hum.

“i guess a small break wouldn't hurt...” she mumbled.

chaewon perked up at her girlfriend's words, and a big smile replaced the frown on her face. she threw herself onto y/n's lap, sending both of them rolling backwards on the chair.

wrapping her arms around her girlfriend's shoulders, she buried her head into the crook of y/n's neck.

y/n let out a laugh and wrapped her arms around chaewon's waist, pulling the girl even closer.

“are you happy i'm giving you attention now?” y/n asked, letting out a soft laugh when she felt chaewon nod against her neck.

“very.”

y/n hummed.

“what do you wanna do?” she mumbled.

chaewon sighed into y/n's neck.

“just hold me, please?”

y/n smiled.

“okay.”