#cementhead

We open with a three way brawl between Darkwing Duck and two newcomers; Rubber Chicken , exactly what he sounds like and Cementhead... whose not a giant head made of cement but a pig made of cement. GOsalyn is on the scene reporting having become an ace reporter and narrates the episode> It's a fun device and gosalyn as an ace reporter fits; She's nozy, she's already butting into darkwings business and she's entertaning.

She dosen't have much integrity, traumtizing herb and binky muddlefoot, the next door neighbors to get sensatonalist photos but she wants a big story.. and to keep getting out of gym.

Around this time Darkwing is dealing with a new mutant criminal, Cementhead. And yup they use mutants. Granted the mutants here aren't due to an x gene but due to being downwind of some sort of plant having parents etc. Which itself.. is clever. Early X-men applied it was atomic radiation what caused it or caused the x-gene to devleop and it's still implied by some like charles xavier his parents working in radiation is why it manifested. So while i'm not sure it's intentional it fits. It also reminds me of a great joke Christopher Preist would do a few years after this episode during his black panther run, having Everett Ross, when encountering the heroes for higher lazily narrate they just fell into a radioactive vat of cream of wheat.

Darkwing finds clues that point to another mutant rubber chicken.. and I wasn't kidding: Darkwing takes 5 seconds to assume he's worknig for cementhead because "Those mutants always hang out together"

Yeah Darkwing is not likeable.. at all in this episode. He looks at the obvious frameup and despite Rubber Chicken (Who in a great gag is over at the snack bar) constantly TELLING him "I was framed", doing nothing ot harm him and generally trying to runa way at best.. Darkwing continues to persue him, tries to take him in despite you know, as a mutant probably not getting great treatment, and tries to beat him up. The last one highlights why, as frustrating as it is to see Darkwing be mildly racist and completely an ass this works: darkwing.. isn't remotely in the right. His shenanigans this episode have him at his most egotistical and judgemental and in the chunk of episodes i've seen the guy has a bad tendency to both be black and white in his morality and quick to judge. It's not really suprising Darkwing won't listen to obvious logic and maybe talk to the guy.. he can't even get over himself long enough to stop attacking and realize he's just hurting himself as Rubber Chicken's body means most of Darkwings tactics just get him hurt. I love RC' sline of "I' dbetter leave: If you keep giving me what' scoming ot me you'll end up in the hopstial"

Gos wants in but Darkwing, as usual, refuses which is hilaroiusly petty at this point as we're on episode 89, and for once somewhere firmly in the time stream instead of whatever got finished first. How many times does he need to learn this. It's a downside of being a status quo show: some conflicts get repeated, again. and again and agani. Like Homer and Marge' smarrige being in crisis you just get tired of it. I do love the gag of goslayn going "Launchpad beliveis me" before darkwing mentions something he belivies in, the easter bunny then the tooth fair an dhas to backpedal to not hurt the big guy.

So Gosalyn nintendoes what darkwing don't:.. actualyl asks questoins. While sh'es just as confrontational she.. actually listens to him and he gives his origin story: He was born from parents who lived downwind of a rubber plant, and thus grew up with fantastic elastic powers. Sadly as many a young mutant has experinced instead of his powers making him popular he was hated and.. well not feared luckily, more mocked so he hid his powers. Until he found out his boss swinheart was in cahoots with cementhead, and thus became Rubber Chicken to foil him. So Cementhead simply framed him. Gosalyn belivies him and supports him.

Darkwing.. is a dick about it

He refuses to belive her for.. no real reason. He assumes sh'es making it up and while Gosalyn isn't exactly TRUSTWORTHY this isn't the first time or even the 50th she's found out stuff.

Part of it is that Swineheart is actually trusted and loved by the city, a philanthropist. Which... fits a little and is part of what makes Cementhead such an intresting villian. Yes their one and the same, and that's the key: Cementhead is powerful on his own, a giant brick of cement that can bulldoze.. but as Swineheart he hides in plain sight. He's essentially Darkwing Duck's versoin of kingpin with a bit of tombstone mixed in, having the formers position as legit buisness man the public dosen't know is evil at first and the latter's stone skin.

He also easily dispatches darkwing by.. playing to his ego. He's not the first villian to do this, i'm sure, but most of darkwings foes go for the upfront approach: beat him up and hope it works this time. Part of what makes negaduck his arch enemy is attacking him at his vunerablities, trying to romance morgana in the show and tracking launchpad in the comics. Granted Negaduck shoudl've also been born as drake mallard but let's just say he had a diffrent name or thought Darkwing would use a fake name for civilian life and move on.

So rather than simply unmask and beat him senseless, he uses darkwing as a pawn offering him his own film, tv series, toyline and even a cartoon (Though the last one's going to be a lot).. if he catches Rubber Chicken. We also meet another mutant, a man who can turn into a banana. This non sequinter will be important later.

Goslalyn calls him out for being bribed so easily and transparently and goes to get proof. Because letting a little girl go into a dangerous situation isn't okay when she's trying to do a school project but it's totally fine when you don't give enough of a shit to go after her apparently.

So we get a great scene of darkwing going after poor rubber chicken who just.. stands still while Darkwing breaks things. Even for him this is a pretty sizeable new low. I love the shopekeep just.. adding up how much he owes. She's also a mutant and can stick things to people and when darkwing doubts, she literally sticks him with the bill. I did not realize the pun till now and applaud the show for doing it so subtly.

While this is going on gos goes for swineheart. She manages to get a photo

But gets caught immedietly

Cleverly she uses swineheart's own tactic against him.. asking him about himself an dfiguring she's about to die and not really getting to give his secret origin that often, he endulges.

It's also a fascinating origin espeically in an episode that's already dense with a guest character, a running gag about mutants setting stuff up for later, and gosalyn's whole reporter schtick. IT's remakeable HOW much this episdoe packs in without feeling overstuffed or too short to do it all.

So Cementhead was the sone of a famous crimelord, but his dad disowned hima nd threw him out for bein ga mutant. And honestly.. i'm shcoked HOW well this episdoe nails mutants: sure i'ts mostly an excuse to do some wacky gags and a fun running gag about there being some hiden mutant EVERYWHERE, but it stilll nails the core of x-men: That mutants are hated and feared just for existing. But where as Rubber Chicken at least had a family, Cementhead had nothing and gladly turned to crime. He became swineheart as he was tired of hiding, and this became a way to still do crime while also being a publci figure.

He plans to cement gosalyn's fate only for her to slip out and escape. Darkwing.. dosen't belivie her because.. she doctored photos earlier. This should work.. but said photos were.. herb muddlefoot with a plant on his head and binkie muddlefoot looking dazed and holding a knife. If this episode emphasiesed how much gosalyn lied, it would've worked better, making Darkwing's skepticism less douchey. But he never brings it up till now: It comes off like he dosen't trust gosalyn.. because he dosen't WANT TO and is using an easy excuse which still works in character but makes him a bigger dick than usual

So Gos goes with plan b: To me my x-men. And since they dont' have a psychic bald man with severe issues and manipulative tendencies they go to the media to call for all mutants.. after the reporter on deck reports darkwing is once again on the hook for property damage, a casual gag I just love. Naturally it dosen't go super great at first as Rubber Chicken is a nervous fellow. He's endeearing, simply wanting to do the right thing but utterly terrifeid of darkwing and of a small child, neither of which are a good look. But when pressed he does the right thing anyway. He coudl've given up hunting cementhead after the frame job and just.. disappeared.. but he dosen't. Because he wants to catch him because even if everyone fears him or wnats to lock him up.. it's the right thing. And that's what being an x-man is all about.. you may not be loved.. but you are needed to push for a better tommorow. And that's what matters

The Reporter sympathizes.. and reveals she's also a mutant and urges others to help.

So as Darkwing finds out Swinheart and Cementhead are the same person just in time to learn what the five fingers said to the face, a new team which i'm dubbing THE X-DUCKS. They are Rubber Chicken the fearful fowl with limbs of rubber! Banana BOy! Whose actually a grown ass man whose banana form has a cape for some reason! Glue Gal, the girl with the power to stick to you like glue and make it hard to find a catchphrase not lind with innuendo for her and Sneezemaster, who will give you the sniffles.

Together they.. easily get beaten. Yeah hilariously the lack of experince, team cordination or any time in the field apart from Rubber Chicken just.. causes them all to be irrelvant and crash into each other leaving only rubber chicken. It works way better than it has any right to: all this buildup.. and the payoff to all the mutants running around is them running into each other. IT's brilliant. And it's a hard joke to pull off: Deadpool 2 tried a similar thing with x-force but it didn't work as not only did they all die horribly.. but it felt so damn mean spirited. HEre nothings stopping these mutants from sticking around as a team or learning to be better, they simply weren't ready for this fight.

So it's up to darkwing who finally learns rubber chickens powers have a backlash.. and lures cementhead to attack so rubber chicken can slingshot him. With that Darkwing admits maybe mutants arne't so bad and Rubber Chicken.. hilariously lays into him, shouting about him being an egotist and a bully. He takes offence to the..f rist one.