his hand still pressed against the back of ronan’s skull the way it always did when they hugged btw. if u even care.
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his hand still pressed against the back of ronan’s skull the way it always did when they hugged btw. if u even care.

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why is this such a mood
Re-reading Call Down the Hawk after Mister Impossible begs so many questions. Like what was with the two creepy old white mask sellers who claimed Ronan had been to the Fairy Market mask room before. Were they talking about the New Fenian? Was it a reference to Niall's/Ronan's mask in trc?
i feel like we should talk more about ronan's depression door. like, wtf was up with that. sure it was effective, but he must have known that there are other ways to keep out people than to make them go through that kind of torture (because even his loved ones had to go through that kind of torture). making something like that must have drained him entirely, and the fact that he has lunch everyday at a gas station nearby? which means he walked through that door at least once every day? no wonder he was depressed by the time cdth started. feeling so utterly stuck combined with the fact of reliving the depth of his traumas everyday via depression lock system is a proper recipe for disaster.
but even putting aside the awful impact of that door on his mind, the fact that he even considered making something like that is a bit alarming. it just seems like a masochistic, self destructive thing to do. it seems to be coming from a super sad and hurt part of him that hasn't learnt to cope or heal, and so he ends up making something that hurts him and others around him.
of course, this is just the first in a series of things he does that culminates in the events of mister impossible.

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on the one hand i want to laugh at declan for describing his brother’s very in love boyfriend as being “deeply invested” and using words like “theoretically” and “weak link” to describe their relationship, but on the other hand i want to hug this poor boy who has never experienced love enough to know that’s not what a relationship is
I think my worst trait is that I find Declan Lynch’s repression attic indecently hot
i’m fuckingggn. upset do you KNOW how many times adam has told ronan to be careful because he wants ronan to be there when he comes home for break??? do you know???? and then at the end of the book ronan fucks off into dreamland or some shit and he’s not going to be there when adam comes home and adam never saw his texts and