#cdm headcanons

NATHANIEL

He is pretty familiar with the concept of comparing yourself with someone else due to not feeling enough, and notices your subtle actions. How you unsoncsiously talk insecurely about yourself, how you doubt so much even of the smallest things, even those in which you used to be good at.

He notices how you look too much at someone, how you even look at Melody and become quiet due to the negative thoughts that may wander through your mind. 

Nathaniel concludes by how insecure you become around them that you just compare yourself to them. And he gets slightly mad, not at you, just at the idea of you doing that.

One day, as you’re making him company on the Student Council Room at noon, he decides to bring up the subject. “What is going on through your mind?” he asks, stopping his tasks just to sit on the table, right beside you. He wanted you to pay attention to him.

He expects you to be honest about it. If not, he already knows the reason. “Look, dear… you must stop. It makes no sense comparing yourself to anyone,” he firmly speaks, “everyone is different and unique, not less.”

From now on, he makes more genuine compliments to reinforce your confidence. 

He becomes more attentive of you and your feelings, and he lowkey scolds you for talking bad about yourself because - what’s the point of treating yourself so poorly?

The slightest change of your mood is enough for him to have a hand over yours, squeezing it reassuringly. 

CASTIEL

The moment a comment like “I’m not as pretty as…” comes out from your mouth, he has to take a deep, deep breath and rolls his eyes. He reacts immediately, not giving you a second chance to keep comparing yourself to anyone else. It could be easy to do it, to compare yourself with his ex girlfriend (ew).

But you're better than anything he has ever had.

He cannot stand seeing you treating yourself that bad. He might sound a little bit harsh, but he is honest about it: “what the hell are you saying now? Have you seen yourself?”

Castiel doesn’t want anyone else and deeply wishes that you could see yourself the way he does. And he is going to make sure that you get his point.

If you don’t value yourself, he’ll do it for both of you until you can also see it.

He tries his best to be more patient about the fact that you talk so badly about yourself, because he gets genuinely mad at the concept of comparison. So he also learns to be more patient.

He genuinely dislikes whoever makes you insecure.

Whenever you show any signs of comparing yourself, he shows up quietly for you. He might touch your chin gently, so you can make eye contact with him and he’ll say “don’t. You’re the one I want, I don’t need you to be any different from how perfect you are.”

LYSANDER

It might take a while for him to get what is wrong. He might take your long silences as a sign of peace, because silence equals to calm for him. But he can see you detached from reality, diving into your thoughts. Lysander grabs your hand and gently asks if you are doing alright.

So you decided to be honest with him and share your inner insecurities and how they were affecting you lately. Therefore, he feels sad that he has let you feel that way instead of reassuring you as he should.

Lysander takes his time to think the best ways of making you feel better about yourself.

And he makes it very very special! Lysander starts writing poems to you about how you’re the only one that matters to him, about what a precious and unique flower you are… (well things like that, I’m not that romantic to think about how many things he could write im sorrybgjbjkdf…)

He makes you feel understood and genuinely reassured, not judged. Lysander might encourage you to open up whenever you overthink so he can clear your mind from any lie your mind comes up with.

He doesn’t pressure you to talk about what you think whenever those thoughts catch you, he simply stays by your side and provides you support by talking about other stuff, complimenting you or caressing your back gently.

KENTIN

He’s oblivious at first and thinks that the reason why you are so quiet is because you are falling out of love with him :(. 

You take longer to answer him, or avoid eye contact as you're focused on your own thoughts. He overthinks himself at first, trying to think that maybe you’re worried about some exams, about any personal problems or… whatever…

But what if you’re going through something worse and he isn’t there to help you through it? He doesn’t want to be a bad boyfriend. So he decides to stop the walk to your house and face you, asking you directly what is wrong.

You decided to be honest and tell you how you were feeling lately, feeling less than anyone. Remember how he was dumb and kissed Amber? You even had material to overthink about it and was one of the reasons of your overthinking too.

Look, he’s clumsy expressing himself so he may stutter or get offended by seeing how you think so badly of yourself. “Have you met you? You are perfect, you are everything a single person would wish for,” he expresses with worry, probably exaggerating a little his gesturing - but he means it. You’re perfect for him. 

He becomes more aware of your signs of discomfort when someone that makes you insecure is around, and he kinda bombs you with his lovely thoughts about you. They aren’t few, there are a lot.

ARMIN

Not gonna lie, this dummy probably made you insecure by making any joke. He’s a man, don’t expect him to think too much /hj. 

When he finds out you’re overthinking because of him and due to that you started comparing yourself with others, he gets mad at himself. He tries to take it easy at first, and says “comparing yourself is like comparing a visual novel with a shooter; it makes no sense.”

No, but seriously, when he sees that it is affecting you more than he expected, he takes it seriously. He sets aside any jokes he can be able to make and listens to you.

Armin may be a good listener, but not a good adviser. He feels bad he doesn’t know the immediate solution to delete that bad habit of yours, because he hates seeing you think so low of yourself. 

He randomly texts you beautiful things as a reminder that you’re the one he wants to marry and the only one he wants.

Armin is going to spend more time with you, distracting you with spontaneous dates, taking you to cinema, playing any games or whatever that creates a new memory between you both and makes you forget those thoughts for a while. Maybe the safer and closer you feel in the relationship, the lesser you’d compare yourself.

You lived in Castiel’s apartment since the day you married, though it felt as if you already lived there even before getting an official wedding. It is a big, cozy apartment for the both of you, and he is more than happy to have you around. You two would equally pay for things, though expect Castiel to have a sugar daddy complex and try to spoil you for everything.

Castiel has always been willing to invest his best effort to make sure that your relationship works healthily and greatly. No matter if he is busy with his tours or composing some of his songs, he wants to give you enough attention as well. And when Castiel is in love, he is very attentive and romantic!

He looks at his ring in awe, remembering the meaning behind it. And when he is holding your hand, he raises it gently to kiss the exact spot where your ring is, his eyes shinning with love. It makes him feel so excited and lucky inside.

Even if he is used to waking up besides you, his heart still quickens when he opens his eyes and sees you right there. A soft smile appears on his face, feeling very lucky to having deserved the title of your husband. He’d admire your calm behavior, memorizing every single feature of your face, his smile growing with affection. His hand would carefully massage your scalp, making sure it only helps you to relax even more, not to wake you up.

He takes advantage of your sleeping form to go and prepare breakfast for you two. Then he brings it to bed.

Castiel is well aware of your preferences, so he’d basically spoil you for special breakfasts, lunches and dinners. The anniversary dinners are the better ones! He prepares the whole house with sweet candles, making the lightning give a more intimate and romantic environment. 

Completely trusts you to dye his hair! It’s a part of the monthly routine at this point, and you two have a lot of fun when you’re doing that. You take funny pictures of him, and he absolutely adores every single one of those pics as they save all the fun you had. 

He loves to take pictures of the most special moments with you. He even takes secret pics of you so he can stare at them when he is in a tour. He constantly gets teased by his bandmates about being such a simp, yet he shows his ring and proudly says “well, who’s married and loved and who’s not?”

When he is doing a tour, he makes sure to have morning and night calls just to check on you. He loves to hear you ramble about whatever crosses your mind. And even if he teases you about talking too much, he absolutely adores seeing your talkative side. It has been normal for both of you to see him go on a tour. He’ll always bring you some gifts from wherever he has gone, but good news…

Most of the time, whenever you’re free, he is kidnapping you to another country so he doesn’t miss you every single night. Of course, to do this he had to have a talk with his band members like “would you agree if I bring my spouse on our tours..?” 

And hell yeah, he achieved to make them agree! His relationship with you is known, he might post stuff with you on his Instagram and be proud about having you as his spouse. And expect this man to post stories with pics of you and 300 emojis of 😍💕 

Castiel is so in love. Even after any concert he gives a grateful speech where he always thanks you for being a great support on his career.

He can give you free guitar classes if you’d like too. And if you like to sing, he could be the guitar and you could be the voice. Though expect him to praise you a lot.

Oh, yes, the only problem… he might play his guitar late at night, when he needs to practice for any future concert, when he needs to unwind or when he is simply bored. The moment you let him know that he’s bothering you, he’d go quickly to bed like a sad puppy and apologize, filling you with kisses and hugs.

Castiel is very clingy when you both are in private! Even though he isn’t scared of being clingy in public, keeping his hand casually on your waist, planting short kisses on your cheek… but when you both are in private, expect him to be all over you. He’d have an arm around your shoulders so you can rest your head on his chest, as his free hand place your legs over his. And let’s not forget about the spontaneous kisses! He’d surely give you small kisses on your head, forehead, cheek, and finally lips.

Those cold winter noons, when the sun is finally hid and the day is ending, he’d keep you by his side on the couch, under a blanket and cuddling you as you see a random show or movie on the TV.

When you both can have a stable economy, every anniversary would result in traveling to some foreign country! Castiel has been in some places already, but the experience of going with you is definitely different and much better.

There would be a part of your daily routines where you both go on a walk with your pet (because it is a must to have a dog if you're living with Castiel, my bad) together and simply yap about whatever comes through your mind. And Castiel is very talkative as well. It is very easy to have fun with him and the laughs are always assured.

Castiel is very supportive with whatever you like, always pushing you to achieve your dreams. You also do the same for him, and he naturally wants to see you happy for achieving things in your life. He worries a lot about your mental health.

But he also worries a lot about your physical health, reaching the point of going out of the apartment to smoke so he doesn’t bother you (and he’d fill his clothes with perfume so the tabaco is subsided and doesn't bother you). 

And whenever you get sick, he truly hopes to be there and take care of you since the beginning. It hurts him in the heart when he is in a practice and receives the message of you having temperature :(. He makes his best to leave as soon as possible and then rushes to go back home, he can’t leave his spouse feeling dead while he is away!

Has a whole album of pics since your teen years until the recent ones which he fills every year and during the anniversary night, as you both are together cuddling in bed, he opens it and shows all the new pics that had been collected in the past year.

Night routines are always important, and he definitely wants you to teach him how to do a proper skincare routine, so his skin is always bright and stunning. 

I'm sure he'd trust you to shave his beard when it starts growing.

He is cuddly during the night and very talkative if he’s got the energy. So you two would lie down, sometimes his head on your chest or the other way around. Then your dog would join to bed and you three would be a happy family in bed!

Castiel likes to take you to some of the first spots where you both had your first dates as teens and do the same stuff again just to feel nostalgic.

At some point in your lives he’ll give you the speech of considering having kids. He’d love to have kids with you, the excitement of seeing you pregnant and taking care of you during that time is a thought that has crossed his mind lots of times. And damn he truly wishes. He wants to be a proud grandpa of his grandchildren and educate them, play with them and see them grow up.

In conclusion, you’re the softest spot of this man, and he is bragging whenever he can about having built an incredible life with his favorite person!