#cccc fic

Cyrus wheezed, a dry hack clattering off his parched lips.

The pain resumed its lightning path through his scalp to his soles.

What’s two times three? Six.

(Split into three.)

Split into three.

Split into three.

(Split into three.)

[Split into three.]

Split into three.

(Split into three.)

[Split into three.]

{Split. Into. Three.}

Two halves of his body at once had begun to peel, both sides melting into an almost watery consistency.

The centre remained; as it shed its two parts, the pain spiked. Almost a shower of flaming needles, grasping his body and pulling it like bad bread.

The residual forms sloughed off his body, shooting off from oppositional directions. Cyrus watched the forms surface; uncurl, position themselves into a stance, before looking around; almost cautious, almost concerned; before matching his gaze, eyes popped open wide.

What am I doing?

(My legs are over there. Not over here.)

Long shoulder blades coated in a plush length of down fell from the one on the right.

His feet were encased in a layer of what looked to be keratin; an absence of toes, the form appearing almost like hooves blown into the shape of heels.

(I need to be. Over there.)

Why am I here?

(He tried to march back to his body, )but his leg kicked absentmindedly instead.

Cold. I feel cold.

[His mouth sputtered, a vacant breath posing no sign of voice breaking out.]

Why can’t I talk?

[His lips pinched and morphed, attempting to trace words with his tongue that of which would not comply.]

“(Say.)”

“Say.”

What’s happening to me?

Syrus raised his hand, fingers trembling as he fought against an invisible force to lift the appendage.

He and himself watched with wide eyes, before their palms repeated the notion.

“(What are you doing?)”

“[S… Sp…]”

Syrus’ eyes enlargened in horror.

His body was in-front of him; moulded into two doppelgangers.

They needed back. They needed back inside of him. They were unattached; surely he would not survive with both halves of his body missing.

“Get…” Syrous whispered, a cold monotonousness to his tone.

“(I’m.)”

“[Sm…]”

Syrous grumbled, pulling at the air as if he were retrieving the end of a rope.

He and himself stumbled forward; their feet awkwardly touching the ground, bodies sliding over in inexperienced strokes.

“Get…”

“(I’m…)”

“Get…”

“(I’m s…)”

“{GET…}”

They stopped.

The room fell silent; and suddenly, everyone came to their senses.

The two halves fixed their gaze on the one they spawned out of; their Host.

Two parasites. Unnatural beasts. The ashes of dissolved consciousness.

“(Wh…)” The winged one spoke, its head cocked. “(Who am I?)”

“[S…]” The second one struggled; it appears as if it wasn’t designed to speak, or at least it was more of an error than its sibling.

“{I…}” He breathed, the words rustling from his quivering lips. “{I can’t… I don’t…}”

The two beings searched the room curiously. Their bodily movements seemed nigh infantile; beginners to the human body, if they could so be called that.

They seemed impressed by little things; walls singed from the high amount of concentration their eyes pressed onto them, squirming fingers as they appeared amazed by their own hands, idle fascination from every little bit of decor or utility inside of the room, panned around by the stumbling legs of new life.

Soul idly watched their first adventure, before lifting his fist to his mouth and clearing his throat.

Somehow, they appeared to understand what this gesture meant.

“{You two… Aren’t supposed to exist.}” Soul spoke, stern.

“[W…]”

“(I understand. How can we fix that?)”

{How can we fix that?}

{Go back where you’re supposed to be!}

{How hurt must I be to form life from my own misery?}

{No one is happy with this.}

“{We… I don’t know. Become one? If… if that’s even possible anymore.}”

“[N… Th…]”

“(I’m very confused.)”

Soul’s look contorted from a wince of ire to an attentive curiosity.

“{What are you confused about?}”

“(This is… strange. I don’t remember you, I don’t remember anything. But I know you. And I know everything.)” The entity blinked. “(I know that we are apart of you. I am the burn of your emotions, he is the shock of your logic. I am the black of the Moon, he is the white of the Sun. I am your Heart, and he is your Mind.)”

“{...What else do you know?}” Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction was his drug.

“(I understand every word you are saying… but when I try to think about what they mean, my cage draws a blank. I understand the existence of many things; I know religion, I know philosophy, I understand that there are oceans, and mountains, and what humans are, and what plants, and animals, and bacteria… I know there were many great humans before us, many horrible humans, too, and I know I do not know the humans that will come next. Everything is so bizarre to me. Why do I know? Where did this mysterious knowledge come from? Perhaps from you? But I don’t know anything about you. I just know that you are lying in misery, and my brother and myself are a product of it.)”

“{This… this can’t be real.}” Soul said, his voice light with the ghost it was spoken with. “{The other one wasn’t… I don’t understand. I’ve… I’ve really broken myself this much, haven’t I…? I’m… I’m really past saving. All that money spent on therapy… All that money spent on college… All that money spent on support… Money spent on indulgence… And yet, I am truly beyond help.}”

“(Don’t cry,)” The spectre spoke, gently, approaching Soul. “(You are not beyond help. I’m… I’m sure this can be salvaged.)”

Soul bounded behind, a thick snarl lashing from his lips. He almost swiped Heart away with force, his hand of ire colliding with only air.

“{You are not going to help me. You are the result of my brain’s destruction.}”

“[M…]” Mind approached, sympathetic eyes worn in his gaze. He attempted to extend a hand to offer what he knew of consolation, only to produce a scream, responded by him jerking his appendage back.

“{Oh good gold, what’s wrong with your hand?}” Soul shrieked, once again launching himself back. “{A- Are you a robot? A machine? Truly, surely that’s not what’s become of me…}”

The two small souls watched their Host’s body huff and quake, hardly managing to stand upright.

Guilt drenched their bodies, as they hung their heads and spilled with remorse.

The two backed, and embraced one another’s hands.

“{You’re… You’re holding hands…}” His eyes bore tears. “{You both have humanity, You… creatures, have something in you. Something beyond destruction.}”

“[Y…]” Mind choked, gasping with air rather than utilising it.

“{You’re more than just beasts of consciousness,}” Soul sighed, hugging his face. “{I can’t let anyone see you, either of you. You’re certainly both abominations, composed of remnants of one, greater abomination. But… this… this can be fixed.

“{We can become one, can’t we? Fuse into one being… Fixed what ‘{can’t}’ be fixed.}” Soul stared at the two, before speaking just one more time. “{...I can be healed. I can be fixed. But… I can’t let a soul see either one of you two. You will remain here, in my apartment, for absolutely until you are apart of me once more, and only then, in my vessel, will you be exposed to the rest of the world. But, and I repeat, neither one of you two may ever be exposed to the rest of this world beyond my apartment door.}”

The objective was understood.

The truth would be untold.

The unbecoming of consciousness.

The Heart, the Mind, and the Soul.

Notes + Boundaries:

♡ Three is good, four is bad.

☾ It's implied but not explicitly stated, this is not within a mindscape. Heart and Mind are separate, functioning, physical manifestations brought into existence via Cyrus/Soul's mental deterioration.

♡ This is apart of a greater AU known as Lost at Sea, and technically also one of my five bajillion crossover AUs known as By the Bay.

☾ Please do not compare this to DID/OSDD. It's not because of a specific vendetta against DID/OSDD (you can move on with your day happy knowing you did not just read a fic from a sanist 😉) but rather because people who hurt me really liked that headcanon and now it makes me uncomfortable.