#catrey

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done to me, betrayer Throw your stones and stab me with your hateful stares Curtain call, the final act, so say your prayers So long to you beloved traitor

The first time Cater danced with his beloved was when he was feeling a little hope.

One thing the Queen of Heart is famous for is the saying, "off with their head". Ever since he was little, Cater always thought that the queen was a great person. Someone who can express her annoyance and actually do something about it. For a little boy who is trapped with his stepfamily whose heart is filled with hurt. Cater longs to have the power to express himself one day.

Going to NRC is an escape for him. He's the loud kid, the social butterfly, the one who always smiles on magicam. He's the dominant one in conversation who would whine and sigh loud when nothing goes his way. However, he's careful. Nobody knows the hurt. He can't let anyone knows about it. He doesn't want his reputation to be ruined. He has to keep smiling.

So why the fuck was Trey Clover being suspicious of him?

He was his roommate back in the first year. A gentle guy and a rather good-looking one as well. A great baker who provides all-nighter snacks for everyone in the room. A smart student, making sure no one gets left behind. A perfect candidate for a prefect or at least vice prefect. Maybe it was because he is so gentle that Cater lowered his guard down.

It was that one instance when Cater didn't smile. It was a bad day for him where everything became too overwhelming. And the ever-so-patient Trey was there, sitting next to him with their back leaning against the bed. He didn't force him to tell him anything. He was offering:

"If you need someone to talk to, I'm always here to listen."

"Why?" Cater asked.

Trey smiled gently. "Because I believe that no one should be alone."

Cater wasn't ready to believe him fully, but there was a little piece inside of him that was willing to give Trey a chance. He wasn't ready to cry in front of him or to admit emptiness clawing inside him. But instead, he stood up and pulled Trey's hands. Trey didn't protest albeit a little bit confused, but the ever bright Cater (no matter how fake it was) didn't stop. He spun them around in a childish dance and he smiled genuinely. It was rare for him because Trey even widened his eyes. Cater had suspected Trey knew he was wearing a mask to hide his real broken self away, thus this moment of vulnerability in form of a noncoordinated dance was a precious moment for both of them.

It ended too soon, unfortunately, but Cater pulled them closer, clutching Trey's back as he rested his face on the other's shoulder. "Thank you," he whispered. "I'll tell you soon."

Trey hugged him back. It was so warm. "I'll be waiting."

———

The second time Cater danced with his beloved was when he was feeling a little jealous.

The one name Cater fears and hates is Riddle Rosehearts. He came during his second year and he had been getting on his nerve since the coronation. Yes, there was a coronation. Held to crown the new prefect of Heartslabyul.

And that prefect was Cater.

It was something unexpected, so totally out of the world. At the same time, it was a dream come true. The power that he wished for a long was now in his hand. He swore to himself that he won't lose it, that he will use his title with care, to make Heartlabyul a fun place to live in.

And of course, he chose Trey to be his vice prefect.

Call him selfish, but Cater had become too attached to Trey. He had appeared very often in his picture (more like Cater pulled him along, though Trey never protested it), they had spent many times studying and hanging out outside of school. He wants to always be with Trey.

And yet, Trey seemed to try to get closer to Riddle. Cater saw them talking to each other so often that it made him grit his teeth. Trey was with Riddle when he was supposed to be with Cater. He's his vice prefect.

So why the fuck Trey Clover is trying to get closer with this first year?

"What's your relationship with him anyway?" Cater asked one cloudy day.

"He is..." Trey let out a sigh, "...was my childhood friend. It had been so long since I've seen him."

Childhood friends, huh? They had a relationship before them. Something inside Cater cracked like the dark thundering clouds above them. He was afraid. Afraid that Trey would leave him for Riddle Rosehearts. Afraid that the emptiness becomes worse without him. Afraid that he had to wear a thicker mask to the point he no longer knows recognize his true feeling.

Cater wasn't ready to lose that and he still want to keep Trey on his side. He was still holding on to that childish hope that Trey would be the one who could take this ugly feeling away from him forever. Thus, he grabbed Trey's hand and pulled him to the center of the rose maze. Trey didn't protest, but even he had a hard time keeping up with Cater. His dance is harsh and fast like the downpour to the point of almost ripping Trey's arm off. For the first time since he became the King of Heartslabyul, he abused his authority in this dance, dominating and not letting Trey slow down. It was about Cater and Cater alone.

Cater snapped his fingers. "You're my vice, aren't you? Shouldn't you be with me?" For the first time, Cater felt like he terrifies Trey.

But the other still nodded. "Of course."

"Then stay with me tonight."

"Yes, prefect."

———

The only time Cater danced with a traitor was when he was feeling a little dead inside.

Cater knew that his time was limited. There were rumors circling in the dorm of Riddle Rosehearts' overpowered magic ability. The kid had made a name of herself. A perfect replica of the Queen of Hearts from her anger and her ruthlessness in enforcing the rule. A perfect candidate for the prefect position and a threat for Cater. Days went by with building anxiety like the dread of execution and he had no way to escape this. It was embarrassing when he admit to Trey that he hadn't been doing well in class these recent days. He wasn't really touching his afternoon snack. He hadn't been able to post on magicam. Even smiling felt like a chore. He was slipping and he knew it. And yet he couldn't drop it. Not now. Not when he had built it for a year.

Of course, Trey was the first one to notice. He was true to his world to be with him more than just being his vice prefect. But there would be times when Cater would catch him hanging out with Riddle. What was worse, was how Riddle seemed to warm up with Trey. He could see a small smile when Trey handed his signature strawberry tart. Cater recalled the night Trey made that tart, saying how Riddle was the first one to taste his baking when they were a child. While Cater did coo, deep inside he knew he felt the swelling jealousy.

But Cater couldn't stop it. He couldn't stop the countdown. It was too late now to become a harsh prefect. He had built his persona as the sunny kid who is always smiling despite the problems surrounding him, the fun prefect who let you do whatever you want as long as you aren't breaking the rule. Everyone would assume that these things won't bother him, thus he kept up the act. He had to keep up his image.

So why the fuck is Trey Clover testing his patience?

The hallways were dark, devoid of any students for it had passed their curfew. Cater and Trey stood facing each other, not really talking. For one, Trey actually looked guilty and Cater didn't know why at the moment. But suddenly, Trey pulled Cater closer. Cater did let out a confused noise, but Trey seemed not really paying any attention as if his mind was filled with puzzles. His dance was desperate yet unsure. It felt like he wanted Cater to take the reign but he wasn't ready to hand it to him. Trey stepped on Cater's foot many times and never apologize (but Cater didn't mind because the pain sort of grounded him) and very pulls were carefully calculated like was holding on to the flimsiest string (Cater held his hand tighter to remind him that he's not fragile). Trey wasn't even smiling, only frowning, which made Cater unable to smile as well.

Finally, Trey stopped and he pulled Cater into a hug. Cater could feel Trey's lips close to his ear. And the other whispered. "Riddle challenges you to a duel for the crown. And the headmaster allowed it."

Cater sucked in a breath. This is it. "He can't..."

"I'm sorry." Trey held him tighter as if Cater would break if he didn't (and to be honest, he would). "I tried to stop him."

Cater didn't say a word. What was left to say? His execution was the next day. It was too late to confess everything to Trey. He would carry this to his graduation.

It turned out to be true as the collar cast by Riddle's unique magic closed around Cater’s neck, marking the end of his young reign. Riddle's coronation was held later that evening and, of course, he chose Trey as his vice prefect.

Cater didn't even stay for the rest of the celebration, choosing to leave the dorm and walked down the main street. He stopped in front of the Queen of Heart statue.

Perhaps a lower one like him doesn't deserve the power and companions. Perhaps he's never destined to be the King of Heartslabyul until his third year. Perhaps Trey is never meant to be his faithful partner.

Perhaps longing for something that is impossible in the first place was his biggest mistake.