#castle ff

Lily should be walking by now. Why isn’t she walking yet? Is there something wrong with their daughter’s legs? Have her muscles atrophied? Are her bones brittle? Is her spine just not right?

Kate knows that it’s ridiculous to worry about things like this just yet. Lily is only just over a year old and the doctors told her and Castle that it could be another six months before she took her first steps—or it could be six minutes.

“Each child moves at his or her own pace,” Dr. Shepherd had told her. “Give it some time. If she’s not walking by the time she hits the twenty month mark, then we’ll go from there. Until then, there’s nothing to worry about.”

But Kate couldn’t help but worry. Maybe it was a new mother thing, but she had been a bundle of nerves ever since her daughter was born after 18 hours of grueling labor. She was always worrying that she was doing something wrong or saying something that might affect her daughter’s 12-month old little brain. Lily was already speaking in complete sentences, however nonsensical they were. She loved stories and stuffed animals and her big sister “Lexa”. And Mommy and Daddy.

Castle claimed that she loved her mommy more than she loved her daddy. Kate knew it must be the other way around.

“Think about it,” he always said as they lay together on their bed in the middle of the night, Lily sleeping in between them, the tiny stuffed elephant that her grandfather had gotten her wrapped in her chubby baby arms. “Who does she call for in the middle of the night?” Because, among other things that perpetually worried Kate, their daughter didn’t cry. She whimpered and screamed sometimes, but never really produced tears unless something was really the matter. She had learned to call for her parents when she needed something and ‘Mommy’ was typically the name she called out when she wanted to be taken out of her crib.

“Because she knows Mommy is weak and will be there in a heartbeat,” Kate argued. “But Daddy is the one that makes her giggle and gives her piggyback rides and feeds her chocolate when he thinks Mommy isn’t looking.” She lifted her eyebrow at him and he pretended to not know what she was even talking about.

Kate looked down at their daughter, who dark brown hair growing in every direction on her tiny head, and one thumb planted firmly in her mouth. She ran her fingers softly down the little spine and Lily curled towards her, seeking Kate’s warmth. Kate smiled, feeling her heart swell with more love than she would have thought she was capable of at one point, and pressed her lips to the girl’s hairline.

“I love you,” she whispered, tickling the baby’s ear so that she snuffled in her sleep and pressed her face further into her mother’s chest.

In those moments, Kate stopped worrying and just enjoyed the time she had with her baby girl. Her father had teased her all through her pregnancy that her daughter would be just like her when she was a little girl. Her terrible two’s had come early and had carried all the way to age four—to her parents’ delight—and she’d been the kind of rough and tumble child that you didn’t want to mess with on the playground.

She’d also been a seemingly easy target for anybody who didn’t know her yet. Katie Beckett was a small kid and had to practically parkour her way onto most high surfaces (which typically gave her mother a heart attack when she saw her standing on a counter twice her height just to reach the cookie jar on top of the fridge—but those Fudge Stripes were just so delicious) and was often called horrible names on the playground (as in things like “shortstack” and “Minnie”; horrible in the sense that they were so not creative). Even as a baby, Kate’s temper was terrible and she was often found sitting on some tall kid’s back, shoving his face into the dirt.

She was terrified that Lily would be like that. Even more so that she would inherit Kate’s ‘Wild Child’ phase. She prayed that Alexis would at least be a good influence on her baby sister.

So far, so good, Kate thinks as she watches Lily crawl across the home office, which had been fenced in for playtime, and roar at her stuffed tiger (a gag gift from Ryan and Espo, meant only to tease Castle and Beckett, but also one of Lily’s favorite toys). Kate smiles as she continues to look over her files for work. One of the best things about being Captain of her own precinct is that she is allowed to work from home whenever she pleases and spend the day with her favorite little lady.

In the middle of winter, the loft is incredibly warm, so Lily gets to lounge around in her diaper (which is her favorite outfit, for some reason) and practice standing—which she does a lot, though she still hasn’t quite gotten the hang of keeping her balance for longer than five seconds.

Kate watches her out of the corner of her eye, making sure that the girl doesn’t go for the bookshelves again (they’d moved every single book to the higher shelves after the last incident) and revels in the comfort of being home with her. Castle is out in the kitchen, whipping up something delicious for dinner, and the loft is, for the most part, completely silent.

“Mama!” Lily exclaims and Beckett looks over at her, seeing the baby stand, surrounded by absolutely nothing, and feels her heartrate pick up. Is this it? Is it about to happen? Is Lily going to—

The baby drops and so does Beckett’s heart. She sighs and gives her baby a grin as she giggles and crawls away. Kate shakes her head and turns back to her work, but her thoughts are suddenly elsewhere.

While she’d been pregnant, she had recurring cases of vertigo that prevented her from moving off the couch, where she lay for hours at a time, bored out of her mind, as her husband rubbed her feet or soothed her with his voice as he read chapters from his latest books. Sometimes her father would come over and let her rest her head in his lap, like she used to when she was a little girl, and tell her stories about when her mother was pregnant with her.

“Your Nonna and Aunt Theresa were always at our apartment in those days,” he would tell her. “Nonna would make her tea and rub her tummy and make so much food that your mother would barely be able to move. Aunt Theresa would talk about being pregnant with your cousins. This was, of course, before Sofia was born. She’d have Tony and Carla with her. They played so quietly on the living room floor; not at all like they are now.” She laughed. “Your mother had vertigo, too,” he told her.

“Really?”

“Oh yes,” he chuckled. “And it irritated her to no end. She had a heavy caseload in those days. She would make me hold her case files above her head as she laid down on the couch, so she could read.” He laughed. “So stubborn, your mother. Must be a family trait.”

“Hey!”

“It’s true,” he chuckled. “You were over a week late and then you took nearly twenty hours to finally show up after that. Your poor mother.” He shook his head. “But the second you were here, she loved you. She held you in her arms and kissed her little head and promised that she would always love you and she…” he trailed off and Kate could see the tears in his eyes as she looked up. She felt her own throat clog with them.

“I wish she was here,” Kate whispered against his knee.

“So do I, Katie,” he sighed, running his fingers through her hair. “So do I.”

Looking over at her daughter, Kate wonders what her mother would think of her granddaughter. She would love Lily, no doubt about that. She would probably spoil the little one rotten, much like Martha is attempting to do with gifts of new clothes and toys every time she comes to visit. She would probably be sitting there with her, talking with her, giggling, hugging, kissing her chubby cheeks and encouraging her to keep standing. Kate can still remember all the times that she had fallen into her mother’s arms as a toddler, walking on shaky legs. She can practically feel Johanna’s embrace, feel the ghost of her kiss on her tummy, where she would blow raspberries until little Katie was screaming with laughter, red in the face.

Tears flood her eyes now and she pushes herself away from the desk, wiping them away as she stands. Now is as good a time as any for a break.

She takes a step toward her daughter and pauses when she sees Lily’s big blue eyes peering up at her from over the edge of the desk. Kate smiles as she steps around, holding her arms out, intent on catching Lily when she inevitably falls.

Instead, the baby lifts one chubby foot and places it in front of her, stopping Kate dead in her tracks, eyes wide, mouth gaping. Lily beams at her, placing her hands out as she takes another step. Then another. Then another. After about five steps, she’s nearly at her mother’s feet when she falls right on her diaper-padded butt.

Lily blinks for a second, looking around herself in confusion as her mother continues to gape at her. Then she giggles and pushes herself back up, reaching out for Kate when she takes another step.

“Castle,” Kate husks, finally remembering that her husband is home. She clears her throat as Lily takes another step. “Castle!” she says, more loudly. “Castle, come here!” She doesn’t take her eyes off of her daughter, walking backwards to encourage her to keep walking. Lily thinks it’s a game and continues to chase after her mother, gradually picking up speed.

“What’s wrong?” Castle says as he arrives at the doorway. He’s wearing a ‘Kiss the Chef’ apron and there’s a frog-shaped oven-mitt on his left hand, but Kate resists teasing him in favor of leading Lily around the corner of the desk, so that Castle can witness the monumental moment.

He gasps and practically leaps over the fence, reaching for his phone at the same time (and miraculously doesn’t snap his neck in the process), flipping open the camera to capture a video as Lily follows her mother, giggling and stumbling on new legs.

“Mama!” she squeals, waving her arms a little. When Kate is sure that Castle got enough, she finally scoops her daughter up in her arms and blows a raspberry on her belly, making Lily shriek.

“Good job, Silly Lily!” she coos. “You did so good, baby.” She hugs the tot to her shoulder and rocks slightly, smiling as her daughter relaxes into her embrace, her own arms wrapping around Kate’s neck. Kate rubs her back and presses a kiss to her mess of hair as she carries their daughter over to Castle, who hugs both of his girls against his side and raises the camera above their heads.

“February 4th,” he says, looking into the lens, “2018; Lily Johanna Beckett Castle takes her first steps.” He nudges his daughter, who turns her head toward him. “Say hi to the camera, Lil.”

Hey, I've been thinking about writing ficlets based on requested prompts (Castle only). It would be awesome if you could contribute to my cause and actually send me a prompt xD

damn, i thought that was a sad one at first and I got so hyped about breaking your heart :3

☆ - happy headcanon + Kate Beckett

Authors note: I wrote this in November of last year and I don't think I've ever posted it. These are supposed to be Kate's vows I guess (it turned out a bit longer than I intended). It was my first attempt at writing anything that even resembles fan fiction (I wouldn't call it that) and I wasn't sure about it then and I'm not sure about it now, but after 7x01 I remembered it and thought I'd put it out there. I hope you guys enjoy it and any kind of feedback would be awesome.

After my mother’s murder I lost a part of myself. I was so weary and so tired and the only reason I kept my head up was because I needed to find her killer, I needed to get closure.

You know, people think that just because I’m a cop I’m unbreakable, but the truth is I was wearing a mask, I was hiding my feelings, because I though they would make me vulnerable. So I put up these walls to protect myself. I was broken beyond repair. Until you came along.

You tore those walls down and you made me realize that I could be more than who I had been for all those years. Inch by inch you got under my skin and you carved yourself into my heart. And even though I refused to let you in, you stood by my side and you never let go. You picked up the pieces and you made me whole again.

They say that before you die your life flashes through your eyes. When I was hanging from that building all those memories were of you. And even though I forced myself to believe that I wasn’t in love with you, the only thing that came out of my mouth was your name.

And I’m so grateful that you came into my life. You made me do what I feared the most: let go of the past. You made me look forward to the future. To our future. And that’s all I could ever ask from you. I was broken for a long time, but it’s over now. Because of you.

So thank you. Thank you so much for believing in me even when I didn’t. Thank you for standing by my side through everything, for being my solid ground. Thank you for making me feel like I belonged again, for giving me back the part of me that thought I’d lost so long ago. And most of all, thank you for loving me.

(So, warning, this turned into a little longer than three sentences. Try a whole scene. Aheh.)

[FF]

"Any news on our missing mother and son?" Castle bounced into the precinct, hands grasping two steaming cups of coffee in each hand.

Kate was leaning against her desk. Her arms folded across her chest tightly as she pondered over the large board in front of her. The crease that gave away her frustration over their lack of details deepened as she leaned to grab one of the cups from her partner’s outstretched hand. “An anonymous caller phoned in last night. They said they heard some sort of loud commotion on the rooftop the night before Emma Swan and her son disappeared.”

She stood upright, one hand on her hip, the other under her chin. She walked towards the board, her eyes scanning the timeline. Her finger rested on a spot towards the end.

"Right here," she used another finger to point out a second event, "is where a resident remembers a ‘strangely dressed man’ enter the apartment complex." She moved her finger slightly to the right. "Here is where her neighbor recalls Miss Swan allowing the man inside her apartment." She took a pen to jot down some writing a few pegs down. "This new information fits just a few hours after those events."

I finally updated it, huzzah!!

Hey look. There's a chapter 3 now! Huzzah!

But really, give it a chance... maybe?