#carson jordan

I hadn't thought about my pictures as activism, until women around me started telling me how much I inspired their journeys—whether through butt selfies, or loving their body. I think what’s important, at the end of the day. At the end of the day,  I love my body because it functions. I love my body because it loves me back. I love my body because it’s brave. Sometimes, people are frustrated with me. “My boyfriend would never let me do that!” or “What if a future employer sees that?” I am living in the now. My partner doesn’t own my body. Sometimes, taking a good ol’ fashion butt selfie can turn a bad day around.  I can want positive reinforcement for my body anytime.  

I think a lot about my history as a woman when people tell me I inspire them. I wasn’t always confident, and I didn’t always want to shine brightly with my booty on the internet. Throughout my “coming of age” at sixteen, I was horribly harassed by a girl who hated me for, as my friends and family said, being pretty, I was physically abused by a boyfriend who called me a whore, I was anti-social, depressed, and hiding behind my own brightness. This is my coming of age, as a 21 year old. As an adult. You can reinvent yourself at any age. Those early years of development don't define anyone.

Somedays I wake up and don’t like my body. Somedays I wake up and feel like #bodypositivity on Instagram is EXTREMELY thin, EXTREMELY flat bellied, and EXTREMELY normative. Sometimes I feel like no one out there looks like me, and therefore my survival as a bigger woman will be harder. Sometimes, I think about how I should consider women bigger than me, who might feel marginalized by my #bodypositivity. Somedays I wake up and feel like hot shit. I wake up feeling like #IWokeUpLikeThis or #YouWishIWasYourPoundCake. Somedays I wake up and think that I should be working out everyday and only eating carrots. Somedays I’m perfectly content eating Pad Thai in my underwear at noon on a Friday. I give my body credit for letting me love it, through all of these up and downs.

With Valentine’s Day approaching, I would like to put out a call to all of you. Love your body publicly. Love it privately. Get a tattoo. Wear a cute outfit. Put glitter on or gem your face. You’re hot shit. You are beautiful. Your booty is fab.

Love/Lust,