#carrierofcurses

Mako steps closer, a little uncertainly, still far from where she’s sitting. “I just – I was wondering something,” he says, clearing his throat. “We never finished our conversation…you know, before Wu got kidnapped.”

Korra sighs and rises to her feet, willing her feet to stay steady – a rush of every heart-racing longing desire she’s ever felt has flooded her body as she looks at him, standing there earnest and troubled and true. “Is this about me not writing to you?” she asks, and his face contorts just enough for her to know she’s hit the mark.

“No – I mean yes – I mean – ” Mako exhales heavily, running a hand through his neatly-styled hair, and she feels a pang in her chest for the days when he wore it spiky, the days when they had been happy together. “I guess I just – I thought we were closer than that. I know things were awkward, with everything that happened but – I had hoped you wouldn’t feel like you couldn’t talk to me.”

He’s close now, closer than he had been, and she wishes his proximity didn’t make her feel every butterfly and firework she’s ever felt around him, multiplied by a million. “I’m sorry,” she says, feeling like she’s been repeating that phrase too often these days. “It’s not that I didn’t want to talk to you, it’s just – I didn’t know how to talk to you. Or what to say.”

Mako frowns. “But you could talk to Asami?” he asks, hurt leaking into his voice.

“I don’t know, it felt easier with her,” she says, annoyed at herself for feeling defensive. “Look, I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. I didn’t mean to, but I was going through a lot and – ”

“And you didn’t think I would be there for you?” he supplies, the words sour as they leave his lips. He doesn’t look annoyed though, just sad and maybe wistful or lonely. Maybe lonely, she decides. “Because I wanted – I wanted to be there for you. Like – like old times.”

Korra glances away from him, the image of his face too heart-racingly handsome and easy to want, when he’s in such close company. “I know that,” she says softly. “But it’s not old times anymore, Mako. We’ve all changed – ”

“Not as much as you think,” he interrupts quietly, and she sees his fingers move out of the corner of her eye, as if he wants to touch her, cup her face, kiss her again. Part of her wishes he would; the other part doesn’t wish for anything at all. Wishes are for a girl you used to be, staring out at city lights and daydreaming of love and glory. “I know you think what happened to you made you different, but you’re still – you’re still the Korra I knew. The Korra I know. You’ve been hurt, but you survived.”

She doesn’t think about the words the Korra I loved in place of the Korra I knew. Doesn’t think about the Korra I love in place of the Korra I know. Doesn’t think about how he’s right, how her battles made her stronger, but not any less her. Her breath is shaky when she sighs. “When did you get so smart?”

Mako grins, lifts a hand, brushes her hair out of her face. “See what I mean? You still drive me crazy,” he says fondly, and she laughs, leans into his touch. “You know all that stuff I said, before the battle with Amon? All those years ago – I still mean it. If you – if you had doubts.”

“I never had doubts about you, these past few years,” she tells him truthfully. “Just about me.”