Carpool
“I seriously cannot keep doing this, because getting from my apartment to campus every morning without a car is a complete nightmare of a routine. The bus is always late, the walk is miserable, and by the time I get to my first lecture my hair is frizzy, my shoes are damp, and I already want to go back to bed. I wish you weren’t at school at the other side of the city, then we could go together but I am going to ask around and see whether anyone wants to carpool, because I am done wasting half my life dragging myself across the city like some exhausted little goblin.”
⸻
“You are going to hate this, because the person who offered me a ride was Sienna, and yes, I mean that Sienna, the gorgeous spoiled girl who struts around campus like she owns every building. I still cannot stand her smug face, her perfect curls, or those ridiculously expensive clothes she wears like she was born in them, but I need the lift badly enough that I said yes. Honestly I surprised her highness even offered the ride but if I have to sit in the back of her ridiculous luxury car and listen to her and her little clique talk for twenty minutes every morning, then fine, I will suffer through it.”
⸻
“The ride was annoyingly pleasant, which is inconvenient because I wanted to keep hating her properly. Her car smelled amazing, the seats were warm before I even sat down, and when I glanced at myself in the window mirror I swear my skin looked clearer and my hair looked less hopeless than it had that morning. Sienna told me I had pretty eyes, Chloe said I was hiding a really good figure under those sad baggy jumpers, and Madison said I would look incredible if I straightened my hair. I still don’t know how truthful or sarcastic any of it was but obviously I spent the rest of the day thinking about it.”
⸻
“I sat in the front seat today, because Sienna said she wanted to take more of me in, which I thought was a weird way of phrasing it. I thought I would feel intimated being in the hot seat but honestly the whole thing felt weirdly thrilling. Riding shotgun with her was like getting some weird approval from royalty and I know this is going to sound crazy but it was like the car approved too. It felt better up front. The mirror flap kept catching my reflection and making me look softer and prettier somehow, and by the time we got to campus I already felt, well, kind of hot. Then they dragged me shopping instead of class, Sienna picked out a fitted top, Chloe found a tiny skirt, Madison helped me with my makeup, and I actually heard myself say, ‘Don’t I look hawt in this new skirt and top?’ like some bratty little bitch, and honestly, I did.”
⸻
“You know what is strange, I ended up driving Sienna’s car this morning after she complained she was too tired and needed both hands free to fix her makeup, and the second I put my hands on the wheel it felt so damn right. I thought riding as a passenger felt good, being the driver feels like getting supercharged. The car must be some smart AI car or something because the seat shifted for me, the mirrors angled perfectly, and I got this rush like the car was purring under me, as though it preferred me in charge, like for a brief moment I was the queen bee. I think it may have gone to my head because when some plain girl clipped my shoulder outside the library I made her apologise in front of everyone, which was mean, yes, but it was also satisfying as hell.”
⸻
“I drove again today, Sienna was nursing a hangover, and now I am starting to think there is something about that car, because every time I get behind the wheel I end up looking better by the time I get out. My hair was straighter, my waist looked tighter in this red mini dress, my lips looked fuller. Like don’t my tits look amazing? It’s probably some extra feature Sienna paid for that adds a filter to the mirrors but I can’t say that it’s not a huge ego boost. When some bitch at the coffee shop tried to cut in front of me, I told her she should worry less about getting a coffee and more about that tragic cheap blouse, and Chloe and Madison nearly cried laughing, which only made me feel hotter. Sienna meanwhile only gave a little chuckle.”
⸻
“I am starting to understand what Sienna really is, and that is not some natural born queen, it is just the girl who happened to be sitting in the right seat for long enough. I took the keys from her today and insisted I drive and she didn’t even put up a fight. How pathetic is that? I think the car likes me more anyway. She looked tired, drained even. Her hair looked flatter, her makeup was not hitting quite the same, and even her voice sounded weaker when she snapped at people. Meanwhile I looked fucking unreal. Don’t I look like an absolute baddie? I know you agree because I see that bulge in your pants baby but you can’t have any tonight because I have to attend the sorority mixer. I practically organized the whole thing because Sienna has been dropping the ball so much lately. I can’t believe she wastes power she clearly does not deserve. Anyway don’t wait up!”
⸻
“You keep saying I sound arrogant like it’s a bad thing, I can’t help it if saying I’m an alpha bitch sounds conceded when it’s true. Everyone knows it’s true. Even the car! It unlocks for me before I reach it now, the music starts on my playlist, and Chloe and Madison look at me for instructions before they even glance at Sienna, who by the way has been relegated to being in the back seat with Chloe and Madison rotating the seat next to me. It’s adorable how they are vying for my attention. Which is hilarious when you remember whose car it technically is. I think it was making Sienna seethe with jealously because she tried to make a crack about Chloe’s shoes. I told her to shut the fuck up because her tantrum was boring. The girls laughed, and the look on Sienna’s face was so wounded and pathetic that I nearly smiled all through lunch.”

⸻
“Sienna tried to reclaim the driver’s seat this morning, which was cute in a desperate little washed up bitch sort of way. She was saying some nonsense about how she only offered me a ride in the first place so she could drain my smarts but the car turned against her. Honestly it was cringe. I told her she didn’t deserve the car and that I would be taking it off her hands now. I handed her the registration I told her to sign it over to me. She tried to argue but I told her I would step on her neck with my heel until she changed it. She signed it fast after that. I slid into the drivers seat as its new owner and smiled through the window and drove off as I watched Sienna stay sobbing on the sidewalk. It is my car now, my clique, my campus, and frankly she should be grateful I only left her stranded instead of humiliating her properly.”
⸻
“Oh, stop staring at me like I have broken your heart, because this is honestly the funniest part of the whole thing. I am the hottest, best dressed, most feared bitch on campus, I drive up like I own the fucking university, and people practically trip over themselves to please me, and you expect me to stay being your girlfriend? I cannot be seen with a loser like you anymore, and I definitely cannot drag around some boyfriend who remembers when I was a shy, frizzy haired nobody begging for bus fare, so I am dumping you before your mediocrity stains my reputation. That girl is dead, darling, and the new queen bee standing in front of you would not piss on you if you were on fire, so do us both a favour and get lost before I start laughing.”
