#carnalposting

an important detail i believe we’re all privy to is praline’s distant relationship with her father, who started to neglect her once she hit puberty because he saw her as a woman (whom he could only view sexually), and no longer a daughter. it caused a lot of festering insecurity in her and a need to act out for attention, among body issues and other things. it tore her away from her father in a very disgusting way that she didn’t know what to do with. it made her resent herself for what she’d grown into, and for not being able to be something he loved. praline feels that she can give jude the one thing she could never give her dad: sex. which sounds ghastly and outlandish but it makes a lot of sad sense. it manifests in this weird push and pull of her coyly putting herself on an innocent platter for him, him toeing the line of reciprocation, her wave of disgust, his retreat and avoidance, and then it starts all over again.

aside from disgust, praline also becomes incredibly angry when he rejects, often times spiraling even further. both outcomes usually result in her obsessing over her appearance and demeanor around him. you’ll frequently notice mentions of her becoming self conscious of her appearance when he compliments how she looks, or becoming embarrassed when she isn’t done up enough. there’s something about wearing his ex wife’s clothes that grinds her gears but also makes her sort of pompous, like she’s holding something over him. to her, rejection is a fate worse than death that means she’s worthless and uncared for, and desire is a knife in her gut that makes her look at herself and see how ridiculous she is.

praline also feels a familiar guilty arousal at the thought she’s not Supposed to do this and this is Bad and Wrong. bad and wrong is what she knows and what feels good. jude is sledge’s friend and nearly 10 years older than her. sure she logically knows other people would consider this dynamic perverted and creepy, but that’s what she likes about it. she’s been taken advantage of and preyed upon god knows how many times, there was a point a long time ago where she almost started to seek this out, even if it never made her feel any better (and was just as traumatizing every time, because it wasn’t simulated, or just born out of violence). i know she feels some sort of shame in wanting these kinds of things, but she still wants them. a lot of this shame also has to do with the stigma around women’s sexuality. you exhibitionist.

a lot of the time, praline even leans into this innocence that women are supposed to have. she doesn’t have sex, she doesn’t let anyone touch her (not really, not willingly, not entirely), she doesn’t let it be known that she has any desires whatsoever. she just dresses like that. you’re the pervert. there’s some vivid disgust at the idea of her outright wanting things, so she likes to pretend she doesn’t, and this was all your idea. that’s what’s safe to her. she wants you to think this was all your idea, because then she doesn’t feel quite as guilty. jude hates this because he likes this, just not really on her. or maybe he does. not sure. neither is he. jude is very repressed about his whole sex thing in the sense he doesn’t like to think about the things he likes, why he likes them, or even thinking about the possibility of doing any of it. it feels automatic, and he likes to think that’s all it is.