#caring hands

Summary: After being tortured for a year, the reader gets rescued by Bucky, but she has been lost in her own mind.

Word Count: 1K

Warnings: Happy Ending.  Angst, then kind of fluff. I’m not gonna lie, this is a little heavy. There is nothing super descriptive but there is implied abuse. Angst, then kind of fluff.

A/N: First time writing kind of angsty thing. Also first time writing for Bucky. Please comment and let me know what you think of my writing.

(From Bucky’s point of view.)

She sat on the bed, looking out the window, always staring out the window. Almost unblinkingly. She didn’t respond when anyone talked to her, if I was lucky, I would get a slight glance. But she was my best friend and I wasn’t giving up on her, no matter how far back she had crawled into that psychic mind of hers. It made sense that with all of her powers of telepathy, that she wouldn’t want to interact with the world that she had been exposed to. Nevertheless, I went in there everyday and talked to her, sat on the bed next to her, and just told her about my day. Sometimes I wouldn’t talk at all, but I wanted her to know that I was there for her.

I had been distraught when almost a year before she had gone missing during a mission. Finally, we had received intel on where she was being kept and what she was being used for. I could barely hold myself together when I found her in that small room. She was crouching in a corner and all she had to wear was a nightgown that was now several sizes too big on her. The only other thing in the room was a bed with shackles attached to it.

When I came into the room, she didn’t even look at me, she just held out her arms as if I would grab them, and when I didn’t, she tilted her head up and stared at me. Her eyes were empty, and she didn’t seem recognize me.

What had this man put her through?

I crouched down next to her and tried to control my tears “YN, it’s ok now. He’s gone.”

She didn’t reply, just stared off in a different direction.

Closer to her, I realized that bruises dotted her skin almost everywhere I could see. There was an especially large one on her chin. Her wrists and ankles were raw. I fought back a sob. “I’m gonna get you out of here ok?” I moved my hand slowly towards her shoulder and she didn’t even flinch when my metal fingers made contact with her skin. I slowly helped her to her feet.

She followed us, and did whatever we told her too, and the only time she stopped was a short moment to look down at dead body of the man who had trapped her. After looking at him for a moment she crouched down and touched the man’s hand, she looked back up at me with those empty eyes, and then continued to move forward. It scared me how much she had changed from her former, stubborn self. I wanted my friend back.

It was in the second month of her return that I started to get more response out of her. If I said something that was funny, she would look at me and the smallest of smiles would appear on her beautiful face. Her eyes were no longer clouded and empty, but she still did not seem to recognize me.

One day I was talking to her about Wakanda, and how I had gotten some upgrades to my arm there. “For a long while, I didn’t want to wear it. It’s a weapon you know, I didn’t want that on me. But it sure is a hell of a lot easier to tie my shoelaces.” I chuckled.

I saw that small smile appear on her face, but she stayed silent as always. I looked out the window we were facing onto the busy streets of the city. Taxi’s stood out like yellow fish in the stream of traffic, and the people looked like little minnows skirting around the larger fish that were other cars.

“My mom always told me that hands are made for caring.”

I spun my head to look at her, not believing that is was her who spoke, but she wasn’t finished so I stayed dead silent with my mouth slightly open.

“Your hand wasn’t made for that.” She looked at me for a long moment. “His hands weren’t gentle.” She looked away, out the window again for a second and then turned back to me “But yours is, even though it was made to be a weapon.” She reached out her hand and set it atop my metal one.

“YN?” Tears started to fall from my eyes.

“Don’t cry Bucky.” She shifted slightly closer to me and wiped away my tears. Her powers seemed to be working again as she answered my unasked question. “James Buchanan Barnes, how could I forget you, my best friend?” She didn’t smile but I could hear the fondness in her voice.

“I…I…” I couldn’t get my words out.

This time she did smile. “Thanks for not giving up on me. It took me a while to find my way back.”

“Do you remember everything?”

It was her eyes that filled with tears this time, and she looked down at our now clasped hands. “Yes.”

As I saw her tears start to fall, I pulled her into a hug and it felt good to have her warmth near me again, her head resting on my chest. I scooped her up in my arms and shifted around so that I could lean into the pillows on her bed, and I held her for as long as she needed to cry. My metal arm was on her back, so I traced circular patterns where I could, maybe somehow it would calm her.

Her crying did subside eventually, but I still held on to her.

“I’m not going to be back to normal for a long time.” She whispered into my chest.

“It’s a good thing you were never that normal to begin with.” I chuckled, and she did too.

“I know, but I am serious.” She tilted her head to look me in the eyes and looked scared of how I would react.

I smiled at her in what hopefully looked like a comforting smile. “I’ll be here for every second of it.”

She smiled and buried her face back in my chest. “I love you James.”

“I know hon.” I couldn’t help but feel tears of happiness prick at my eyes. “I love you too, no matter what.” I had her back in my arms and I would never have to let go again. She was back, and no matter what that entailed, that was the most important thing.

Ta da!

Hardworking, Caring, Safe, Loving - Hands.

A photograph of my wife while she was answering a text from her little sister while we were at the cafe. We are to be, great Aunt and Uncle again any day now.

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