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*faint coughing over comms* Hello this is your Captain speaking… the flu is spreading on the ship. Keep you distance from people with symptoms and- *muffled scream*
HELLO THIS IS YOUR MEDICAL OFFICER. THESE ORDERS ALSO INCLUDE THE CAPTAIN. STAY HYDRATED. DO NOT TEST ME.
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anyways,, posh boarding school eddie kaspbrak,
there during the weekdays, home on weekends
good lad that goes to church every sunday
“i only get on my knees for god”
thinks he can pay his way through anything
constant need for attention
bratty when he doesnt get what he wants
ribbon ties,, images will be under the cut
prim and proper and neat
“wait until my mother hears about this”
1965 ford mustang convertible - white/cream paint and red seats
r i b b o n t i e s
cursing?? whats that?? this boy has never let such language slip from his lips
unless he’s angry
this brandon flowers aesthetic
still a manipulative lil bitch in this verse too
nothing is his fault
like ever
sorry
probably class president
How to end up with a captain who eats pudding on duty, crawls around in the walls, curses over the comms and has a phobia of mosquito hawks but is still very devoted to his crew: a guide
Bridge Records Stardate: 12/3
Captain: I feel like I’m having a midlife crisis.
Navigation Officer: Sir you are in your twenties.
Captain: Well then this is the middle of my life.
*uneasy silence*
Communication Officer: Captain Idris, with all due respect I don’t think that’s how it works.
Captain’s Personal Log:
I spilled coffee on myself today. I am currently trying to distract myself from the fact that I’m sitting in Medical without pants and that burns hurt more than I remember.
Got a vidcall that sucked. Long time no see son, my ass.
Every day we just try to go on. Yippee.
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Bridge Records Stardate: 11/19 Captain: Oh no my roots are showing! :(
Bridge Crew Member: Huh, you dye it? Couldn’t you just do gene modification for that?
Captain: I can’t :(
Bridge Crew Member: ???
Captain: U know that Ben is my friend, yeah? And he’s also this ship’s first medical officer…
Bridge Crew Member: Yes???? The grumpy one???
Captain: Yeah, he said it’s to risky and said he isn’t gonna treat me if I get cancer. He also promised he’d kill me with his bare hands :(
Bridge Crew Member: ??????????
Bridge Records Stardate: 11/27
Medical Officer: Howdy
Captain: Hi. Did you just say-
Medical Officer: Shuddup. Have you taken your break.
Captain: What?
Medical Officer: Your break, the break we are supposed to take every day, you are supposed to take your break. Remember?
Captain: OHHHhh the Break. Yeah I sure did. Hey did you know I can’t drive?
Medical Officer: Stop deflecting- wait what?
Captain: I drove once when I was twelve but I don’t think that counts.It was bad.
Medical Officer: Are you s***ing me? You command a starship but can’t drive? What’s wrong with you?!?
Captain: I fell down the stairs as a toddler. Twice.
Medical Officer: Ok. Okay. Fine.
Medical Officer: You’re still taking your dang break.
Captain’s Personal Log:
My free trial of sleep seems to have expired.
