#capitalb

“I love you.”

Dr. Quack stood at the base of the elevator leading up to Capital B’s office. He used this elevator almost elevator in order to do various tasks for B, but this time was suddenly so much more difficult. He’d let the doors open... then he’d let them close.

Quack let this go on for several more moments before taking a deep breath and rolling his gumball machine suit into the elevator and pressing the button for the top floor labelled “B”. He closed his eyes, immediately opening them when he heard the elevator make a quiet ding. The doors opened again, and Quack could see Capital B sitting at his desk.

B was going through a series of paperwork that was sprawled out on his desk. Quack could never really tell if he was actually looking at the papers, or if he was just trying to look busy. This time, though, Quack thought it might be the former. “What is it, Dr. Quack?” Capital B muttered, looking up at the duck. “I don’t think I called you up here. Is something broken again?”

“N-no...” Quack said as he rolled to the front of Capital B’s desk. After a short moment of pause, Quack’s gumball machine made a few beeping and hissing noises as the glass head rose into the air and the metal body separated. Quack was easily able to step through his contraption. “Nothing is broken. I was just... wondering if you had a moment to talk about something important.”

“What kind of important?” B asked, shifting his papers to the side as he leaned on his desk to look down at the shorter duck. “Is it business-related?”

“It’s not,” Quack replied quickly. “It’s... personal. But it pertains to the both of us, so... I thought you’d want to hear it.” He gave Capital B an uncomfortable smile.

B blinked. He tapped his fingers on his desk a couple of times before laying them to rest. “Alright, I’m all ears. Whatever has you this worked up must be important.” He rested back in his chair.

Quack nodded his head as he held his wings behind his back. “Yes, very important. We have been together with this business for... quite some time now, and lately, we’ve been spending quite a lot of time together.” Quack lightly clapped his wings together. “And in that time, I think I’ve developed these feelings.”

B’s grimace loosened. His breath quickened as he leaned forward. “... What sort of feelings?”

Quack closed his eyes, quickly bringing his wings behind his back again. “B, I...” He took a deep breath, then another before opening his eyes. “I love you.”

Then silence.

“How can I get you to like me?”

“How can I get you to like me?” Capital B asked, adjusting his suit and tie. “We’ve seen to hit a low point... what does it take for the hag and I to get forgiveness?”

“What are you even talking about?” Grunty asked, growling. “I do not ask for forgiveness from anyone! My actions are justified.”

Banjo stared at the two villains, watching as they glared at each other. It was clear they didn’t see eye-to-eye. “Er...” He looked down at Yooka. “What do you think, Yooks?”

Yooka shrugged his shoulders. “I’m... just as confused as you are. Why do you care if we like you and forgive you? You’re still going to do evil anyway!”

“It’s true!” Grunty exclaimed.

“It is not!” Capital B yelled back. He cleared his throat. “I am... reformed! As you can tell. I even brought you a basket of butterflies and honey!”

“They were all dead and gross...” Yooka said, rolling his eyes.

“Then they fell in the honey,” Banjo added. “Not as... sweet as I would like my honey to be.”

Grunty grumbled, crossing her arms. “I told you that was a stupid idea.”

“You’re not helping my case!” Capital B exclaimed.

Grunty flipped her hand back towards the bee. “Bah! You aren’t helping your case, either!”

Yooka winced, watching as they argued once more. He took a deep breath before taking a step back and beginning to walk away.

Banjo followed Yooka’s lead and walked backwards as he listened in on the two villains’ bickering. “Looks like them being friends is the best thing that happened to us.”

“Do you have an extra blanket?” [Winter Starter Sentences]

“Aren’t you cold?” Banjo asked, staring at Dr. Quack.

Dr. Quack was simply wearing a thin sweater as snow fell all around them. He stood up and rubbed his wings together. “This is nothing. Capital B used to throw me out into the cold all of the time!”

“Seriously? That’s terrible,” Yooka said as he wrapped himself into a second jacket. He held his hands out to grab some of the snow. “Well... we won’t throw you out into the cold, Quack. Except, you know, right now. Until we can get all of the holes in the ship patched up.”

“That’s why you don’t tickle a cannon while it’s facing your home,” Banjo said. “Do you have an extra blanket?”

Yooka handed Banjo a big green blanket. “And this is why you don’t come to winter wonderland wearing nothing but shorts.”

“I’m a bear. I have a thick layer of fur... I thought it would be enough.”

“Well, now you’re getting two more layers,” Yooka said, handing Banjo another blanket. He looked up past Banjo and noticed someone coming up from the hill. “Hey, who’s that?”

Dr. Quack followed Yooka’s gaze, then took a deep breath. “Oh... false alarm. It’s just my former boss.”

“Got room for one more?” Capital B asked.

“I’m out of blankets,” Yooka said. “Also... no. You’re not welcome.”

“I’m still getting used ta the whole ‘hang out with your enemy’ thing,” Banjo said.

“What do you want?” Dr. Quack asked Capital B.

“I, uh well...” Capital B rubbed his hands together. “I just wanted to talk to you. Maybe somewhere private.”

“What could you possibly want to talk ab-...”

That is extremely kind of you to do. I really appreciate it. :)

Yooka entered through the entrance of Hivory Towers and walked through the lobby. “Capital B!” Yooka called out. “Where are you? And what’s so important that you had to send Vendi out to come out and get me?”

“Help!” Capital B called out. “I’m over here. Help, Yooka!”

Yooka was suddenly concerned. Capital B was actually asking for help? This didn’t sound like him. He was pathetic, but not this bad. Yooka ran to the other side of the lobby and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Help, I have a splinter!” Capital B exclaimed.

Yooka slowed down a bit, moving to a brisk walk. “Um... say that again?” Yooka spotted Capital B. He was lying on the ground, clutching his wrist.

“I have a splinter,” Capital B said. “It somehow punctured my glove and now it’s in my hand, and it hurts. You have hands and Quack and Vendi don’t. Just... take it out! Please.”

Yooka approached Capital B and looked down at him. He crossed his arms before saying, “You seriously called me over here for this? A splinter? I thought you were dying. Laylee and I were just about to celebrate.

Capital B growled. “Are you going to continue mocking me or are you going to help?”

Yooka let out a deep breath. “Fine, I’ll help you. But you’d better thank me for this. I’m doing you a favor.” Yooka knelt down and took a look at Capital B’s hand.

“Thanks...” Capital B lifted up his affected hand and wiggled his pinky. “It’s right in there. At the tip.”

Yooka nodded his head as he tried to pinch the tip of Capital B’s finger. 

Capital B immediately flinched and moved his hand back. “Ow, what are you doing?! You jabbed it in more.”

“I’m trying my best,” Yooka said. “My fingers aren’t exactly thin! It’s not easy to get out. Let me try it again.” Yooka reached his hand forward.

“No!” Capital B exclaimed. “It’s almost as if you want to hurt me. Go find someone else to help me.”

“You’ve had the Christmas radio on non-stop for five hours.” (THE ULTIMATE HOLIDAY THEMED ASK MEME)

Trowzer growled as he slithered around his booth. He was now listening to “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” for the 6th time that day and he was extremely fed-up. “For the love of... SSSSHUT THAT THING OFF!”

“This music bad for gaming pleasure,” a pixelated dinosaur said as he walked up to Trowzer.

Trowzer turned towards Rextro and let out a deep sigh. “Well... at least there’s ssssomething that we both actually agree on.” Trowzer turned towards the rest of the lobby. “Capital B, get your beehind over here and shut off this wretched music!”

“What are you yelling about now?” Capital B asked as he came flying down from the lobby’s top balcony. “The company said that playing Christmas music during Christmas time is good for morale!”

“You’ve had the Chrissstmas radio on non-stop for five hours!” Trowzer exclaimed. “If I hear another round of Jingle Bellssss, I may just slither around you and constrict you.”

“If you don’t like it, then take your business elsewhere!” Capital B exclaimed. “You should be happy that I allow you to do this at all!” Capital B turned towards Rextro. “And what are you so unhappy about?”

“Christmas music too loud,” Rextro responded. “Can’t hear game music clearly. Game testers cannot concentrate from too much Christmas spirit. Must sell games now! Games sell good in Christmas.”

“Can’t you just shut it off for a little bit?” Trowzer asked. “I’m sure if I polled your little minions, they’d all tick the box “No More Christmasss Music”!”

“I’d like to see you try!” Capital B exclaimed. He rubbed the back of his head. “It’d actually be a bit difficult. Most of my minions are illiterate. The company doesn’t fund educational programs.”

Trowzer blinked. “That would explain a lot.” Trowzer cleared his throat. “Jsst turn it down a notch. Too much Christmas sssspirit is dangerous.”

“How so?” Capital B asked.

“Try listening to ssssomeone go on about how jolly they are,” Trowzer said. “Trust me, you’ll also want to stuff a bag in their mouth and shove them out a window.”

“Can I use that swear word now?” (Inside Out starters) 

“If you both were in my shoes, then you’d understand why I did all of those things,” Capital B said. “Everything had a purpose!”

Laylee flew close to Yooka and whispered, “Can I use that swear word now?”

Yooka took a deep breath. “Yeah, I guess there aren’t any children around to hear you.”

Laylee chuckled. “Great.” She turned towards Capital B again. “What the fuck are you going on about? Everything had a purpose? Oh yeah, I’m sure it did. A purpose to take everything over!”

“I did it for the business!” Capital B exclaimed.

“Well was it worth it?!” Laylee exclaimed. “Yooka, can I say it some more?”

“Can’t you just restrain yourself?” Yooka asked.

“History shows that I can’t, so I won’t,” Laylee said. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck your business. And fuck you.”

“Watch your language!” Capital B said. “There is no reason for you to say something so foul.”

“Oh, but it is so much fun,” Laylee said. “You should try it sometime, bitch bee.”

Yooka grabbed Laylee by the wing and went towards the exit. “Okay... I think he got your point. We’ll be able to come back next week. Thanks for seeing us, Capital B.”

“You’re lucky you’re cute.”

“It’s completely out of the question,” Capital B exclaimed as he wandered back to his desk. “I run a reasonable business, and I can’t submit to stupid requests like that. Especially from people like you!”

Yooka groaned. “You have lots of books. You won’t even notice that a few of them are gone. I just want to... be able fill up some of the shelves on the ship. Maybe start reading a bit more.”

“I’m honestly surprised you even know how,” Capital B mumbled to himself. He planted his hands on his desk. “Every single one of those books is valuable. Not nearly as valuable as the Grand Tome that you managed to snatch and hide away from me! But still very valuable.”

“I just saw you dump 50 of them into a vat of slime an hour ago!” Yooka exclaimed. “Instead of wasting them... maybe I can have them.”

Capital B looked down at Yooka. Yooka’s tail was slowly curling in front of him as he gave Capital B a begging look. Capital B couldn’t look away from him. “You... you really are dedicated to getting these stupid books, aren’t you? I didn’t think you’d be so interested.”

“I just want to try it...” Yooka said. He crossed his arms as he looked directly into Capital B’s eyes. “It’s not like I can get them anywhere else on this island. But... if you won’t hand them over, fine. I give up.” Yooka turned around and began to walk towards the exit of Capital B’s office.

Capital B groaned as he watched Yooka walk away. He was disappointed! Normally B wouldn’t care, but the annoying chameleon never had a request like this before. “Wait...”

Yooka stopped and turned his head around. “What?”

Capital B moved past his desk and reached into his pocket before pulling out a small set of keys. He removed one from the key ring and offered it to Yooka. “This opens the small library on the first floor in the west quadrant. You may take a maximum of FIVE books. Do I make myself clear?”

Yooka blinked before grabbing the key from Capital B’s palm. “What made you change your mind?”

“Just forget about it!” Capital B exclaimed as he walked back to his desk. “You’re just lucky you’re cute. Now get the hell out of my office.”

A blush crossed the center of Yooka’s face. He immediately turned around so Capital B wouldn’t see it. He was... cute? To Capital B? He never believed anything like that. “T-thank you. I’ll only take the five.”

“Is that my shirt?”

Capital B was looking at himself in the mirror. It was one of the very rare occasions where he was not wearing his normal suit jacket and button-up shirt. Instead, he was wearing an orange t-shirt with a black skull on the front alongside his normal black slacks. “While I do look attractive in a suit, this casual look certainly suits me well. I should buy more of these t-shirts for when I go on vacation~”

As Capital B continued to pose for himself, Dr. Puzz silently walked into his office. She was staring down at some papers, flipping through some of the pages. Without looking up, she said, “B, we have some discrepancies with some of these numbers? There’s just no way that we imported this many valuables in this short of time. Oh, and also, you need to sign some pap-...”

In the midst of talking, Puzz had finally moved her head upwards, only to find Capital B still checking himself out in the mirror. “Is that my shirt?”

“Huh?!” Capital B exclaimed as he jumped to the side and looked over at Dr. Puzz. “Dr. Puzz! How long have you been standing there?”

“I just got in here. Weren’t you listening to me?” Dr. Puzz crossed her arms and squinted her eyes with a frustrated look. “Do you mind explaining... this?”

Capital B cleared his throat and coughed into his right hand. “I may have been... down in the laundry room to check on my clothes since they keep shrinking and, well... I noticed a few folded clothes over in your pile. So... I wanted to try one out.” 

He looked down at the shirt he was wearing. It was very clear that it was way too small for him. He looked back up at Dr. Puzz. “What do you think? It’s dashing, isn’t it?”

“Certainly, but I think it’d look more dashing on me. You know... because it’s mine. Now, can you please remove it? I believe that breaks 3 privacy clauses in your own rulebook. Which adds to the other 2 clauses you broke last week.”

“Heheh... how very observant. You may be the only one who has read the rulebook in its entirety.” Capital B grabbed the bottom of the shirt. “If you would please... turn around. Otherwise, you’ll break a privacy clause too.”

“Hm...” Dr. Puzz muttered, her lips pursing. “And I think it would be about time. Please, go ahead. I’m not easily offended by seeing the naked chest of a fellow co-worker.”

“You really can be a nuisance...” Capital B said with a faded groan. He quickly removed the shirt and tossed it over to Dr. Puzz. “Just leave the stupid papers on my desk. I’m going to get changed.” Capital B went over to a nearby door and exited the room.