there’s smth to be said abt how a lack of individuality or sense of self can lead to an unhealthy need for validation. in my case, i spent a lot of my childhood doing anything i could to identify with a group just so that i could have community. .. this led to a lot of incorrect self diagnoses. while having community is like one of the main reasons humans have for living, i believe it’s also something that should feel natural. however, when you don’t know who you are, how can you know who you match with?
and being in middle school warrants more self reflection and exploration than you could ever imagine but being in undergrad, i find myself noticing people who haven’t finished their self discovery yet. i want to make it clear that i don’t think this is a negative thing but that it can absolutely lead to negative outcomes.
being unsure of yourself becomes insecurity which can then lead to finding ways to define yourself that don’t actually match you at all!!! bc no, just because your friend has identified that she loves jorts and they fit her individual style, that doesn’t mean you have to wear jorts to try and experience the same kind of security. and furthermore, they won’t grant you that even if you try!
comparison is the greatest thief of joy or whatever, yk? and i understand the feeling, bc as i mentioned ive been there!!! its just incredibly sad to watch because how can i delicately approach the idea that you are not comfortable in your own life and you are picking at aspects of everyone else to try and patch together a facade of identity? not the most light hearted topic, which is why i don’t intend to address it.
it isn’t hurting me and that’s my rule of thumb for things that i don’t address. that doesn’t mean i won’t analyze it deeply tho, that i will definitely do.
