#calumblurbs

masterlist!

–

Calum’s been a little weird all day.

It starts off with a few small things: he leaves the bed without dropping a kiss to your head, forgets to take Duke out on his morning walk, then takes five hours to reply to your texts wondering what time he’ll be back from the studio. It doesn’t worry you - you’ve known Calum for years, been dating for two, so you understand sometimes he needs a little time away from everything to clear his head, but you definitely notice it.

He eventually gets home late into the evening, and much to your surprise, the first thing he does when he’s crossed the threshold of your apartment is pull you in for a long, tight hug, his forehead dropping down onto your shoulder. You hug him back, sighing as you feel his warmth spread over your front, and inhale his sweet, musky scent.

“What’s going on?” You mumble after a few minutes. Calum peels himself away from your front, brown eyes swimming in love and affection.

“I missed you,” he explains. His arms slip down and he takes your hand. “I made you something at the studio.”

“You wrote me a song?”

Word count: 1,856

Pure angst, my pure heart is hurt.

Obviously some things are distorted.

(GIF creds to owner.)

Tour was supposed to be fun or whatever, but then again I wasn’t the one who was singing. I wasn’t the one who gets to be around thousands of hyped up people. I wasn’t the one who did the meet and greets.

I don’t want to sound like an attention hog, but I was not the one who had Calum’s attention. I knew that I wouldn’t always be when I first got here after their second leg of the tour started, it’s just that Calum was ecstatic to be around me. As time went on, I was just kind of there like a coat-hanger, useful sometimes but in the way.

We have just started to argue more and bicker about stupid stuff. I knew the guys were picking up on it and I tried to just let it go, but I couldn’t. I hated that they heard all the arguing and how it didn’t seem like Cal was here for me.

The quick wind that pushed past me had snapped me out of my trance, I look up to see Calum had walked past me to get some coffee from the little deck towards the corner of the bus. “Good afternoon,” I mumble quietly and twirl my thumbs. “Yeah.” He replies in a monotone voice, per usual.

We were up bickering most of the night and I didn’t like it, but what was I gonna do? Neither of us had apologized for a fight in so long that I didn’t even feel like we were the same Calum and y/n that everyone knew.

“Good afternoon beautiful people!” Ashton came bounding down the hallway cheerfully, completely nosediving to jump his way beside me on the (very) small couch. Calum gave him a look and the sat on the other small couch in front of us. Ashton laid his head on my lap and completely ignored Calum’s glare.

His hair was slicked back and I kept flicking the one piece that was hanging over his forehead. “You should dye your hair,” I suggest as he was swatting my hand away. “What color?” He asks as he finally gave up trying to stop me. “Red. You’d like nice with red hair.” I think aloud and he just shrugs. “We’ll see. Maybe after the tour is over I will.” He says and then sits up.

“I’ll be outside walking if anyone needs me, just try not to,” Calum utters under his breath and then stomps towards the door. Ash and I give each other a look, this wasn’t the first time this week that he did this. “I’ve got him this time, it’s my turn,” I say and stand up from the couch.

I had to basically jump off the last step because it always seemed so high, usually, Cal would laugh but he hasn’t recently. He hasn’t done a lot of things recently. He had just made it past the back of the bus, he was still walking straight ahead. Luckily, there were no fans in sight.

When I finally get behind him, I tug his jacket slightly. “Calum, just stop for a second.” I plead and he comes to a halt, turning very abruptly. “What the fuck do you want?” He snaps and my eyes widen. “Jesus, what is wrong now?” I roll my eyes.

“You! You’re always so lovey-dovey towards Ashton and you never fucking care about me! Why the fuck would you even come on this tour if you didn’t plan on caring about me and just fucking being around everyone else all the time?” He yells and I signal my hand for him to be quieter and I point towards the bus still being fairly close to us.

“You had the chance to ask him to move. You had the chance to act that way with me any fucking time. This is not my fault Calum, you’re the one constantly bringing up shit that doesn’t make sense. At least your best friends are more caring about me than you are.” I snarl and he just laughs. He fucking laughs!

I wanted to rip that pretty little smirk off of his face.

“You’re right, they care more about you than I do nowadays. Just because I invited you here doesn’t mean that everyone fucking wants you here right now. Fuck off!” He says emotionless and I feel my heart break a little. I guess it’s one thing to not feel wanted by your peers but another thing to not be wanted by your boyfriend.

“I-uh. Yeah, well I just wanted to check on you. Ash mentioned something about an interview in 20 minutes.” I lie about Ashton saying it, I just memorized the schedule this morning at 3 am after our fight so I could distract myself.

I just try to pull all the tears back in and turn around as quick as I could so he wouldn’t see my eyes becoming glassy.

I keep my head low as I walked onto the bus and the guys tried to speak but I just wave them off. “Cal said he’d be done with his walk soon so you guys could leave for the interview.” I lie, once again, and go to the empty spare bunk bed to lay down.

“Change in interview stuff guys, the interviewers have moved the production of it to the actual arena. They want to do a backstage thing with you guys before the show, so they thought it would be easier to just start off the day here. They’re going to be setting up and I’ll give you the call when they’re done. Tell Calum.” I couldn’t pick up whose voice it was because of how far back this bunk was, but I just let the guys do their own rejoicing thing. God knows I’m a bother to them.

—-

The guys had left for their interview like 15 minutes ago and I was currently doing my annual sweep of the venue. I liked to do this so the night of the concert when things were more hectic, I could do my own thing and know where everything was.

I accidentally found myself at the section of the venue where the interview was being placed, I stopped in my tracks so quick. I slowly walked backward and just stood behind everyone and listened in. No one knew I was there, per usual.

“So love guys? What are we feeling about that subject?” The girl from the interviewer asks. “I don’t believe in love anymore, all I love is Duke and music,” Calum says something first and my heart literally shattered. “So you and your girlfriend aren’t in love anymore?” The interviewer sounded intrigued.

“Of course we’re in love, we’ve been together for 2 years.” He says quickly and I shake my head, tears begin to brim my eyes. Being together for 2 years isn’t exactly the reason to be in love. I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want to be around Calum anymore.

I wipe off any sign of tears and I tap Jakes shoulder (the guy who was in charge of flights and hotels) and he turns around quickly. Jake was a complete jokester, we all absolutely loved this guy. “Hey, sweet girl.” He says and it probably sounds weird, but he’s like 50 and a hero.

I could see in his eyes that he was apologetic and upset, but he smiled at me anyway. “I need you to cancel any flights or hotel rooms for me, I’m going home,” I say and his nose scrunches up. “Are you sure? Have you spoke to Calum?” He asks as he gets his phone out of his back pocket.

“Yeah, we spoke. Thanks, Jake!” I say and hug him slightly, I turn around and sniffle quickly. I start to walk away but someone tugs my shoulder lightly.

“Oh, hey Mitchy.” I smile warmly and he gives me a look. “I heard you speaking to Jake. You’re leaving?” He asks and I nod quickly. “Calum knows, I just need some time for myself.” I lie and he chuckles.

“You still suck at lying.” He jokes and I shrug. “It doesn’t matter where I am at, Calum wouldn’t care.” I groan and Mitchy scrunched his eyebrows. “Calum loves you and he’s probably just going through something. You can’t just leave without telling him.” He crosses his arms and I just roll my eyes.

“Mitch, I can just leave a note on his bed. If I know this guy pact that you guys have going on, you’ll end up telling him. So, please just wait until after the show. Please. I don’t want this to make the show weak and hurt the fans.” I beg and he nods. “Fine, but what should I tell him?” He asks.

“Tell him I’m staying with my sister, he’ll get the memo. Bye, congrats on hitting number 1 by the way.” I hug him quickly and had to literally jog away before I let my tears all out.

“Y/n! Y/n!” Fans were calling my name and I literally froze. How was I supposed to leave with suitcases and bags? I breathe in deeply, turn away and wipe my eyes. I take the sunglasses that were hanging off my shirt and put them over my eyes.

“Hey, guys!” I smile warmly at all of them and they were acting calm thank goodness. “Can we get a picture? If you’re not busy or anything.” They were so polite and it literally warmed my heart. There were only about 5 girls and they had all just been so cute while taking pictures. Then it hit me, I knew how to make sure they were gone so I could leave.

“Do you guys have ID on you?” I ask and they all nod. “Tell me your names,” I ask and I pull my phone out and text one of the guys in management. I send him their names and tell him that they have their ids to verify. I requested that they make it inside m&g because they were so nice. They respond with a thumbs up and I smile.

“You guys just scored some m&g tickets, just show them your ID. They all line up in 30 mins.” I say and they all had tears. “Thank you so much! We love you!” They all cried as they were basically running back towards the front.

I let my tears come back as I walked inside the bus. I write a quick note and lay it on Calum’s bed. I drag my suitcase out and put all my items back in. I get my pink bag and put all my items from the bathroom back in it. I look around and make sure that I had everything. I took one more deep breath as I called my sister, she could obviously hear the wavering in my voice but gladly said I could join her.

I book a flight back to my hometown and the flight leaves tonight.

I guess this is it. This is it.

ahh yes Calum Hold, my fave member of 5sos (i love you!)

masterlist!

–

Having the opportunity to follow your rockstar boyfriend around the world is something you’ve treasured. It’s been four months so far, and you’ve made so many incredible memories with the man you love that you can’t possibly imagine falling back into a normal routine once you get home. This gap between uni and starting your job has done you well, and you’ve enjoyed every single second of it. 

Or, at least, you were enjoying it until you were struck down with a horrible case of the flu.

Word count: 2,210

So like fluff?? Idk. Angst??? Idk

(Big creds to owner of GIF)

I always have that buzz of energy right after sound check, it just meant that we’re really close to going on. We can hear all the shuffling of the fans getting close to the stage. It felt great knowing that these people were here for me.

The camera crew just left after we showed them our pre-show ritual and what we keep in our dressing rooms. They heard us give each other pep talks and all, they had what they wanted.

“Where’s y/n? She’s usually here for us before everyone goes on.” Ashton points out and I didn’t even stop for a second to think about where she was. In my heart, I was a little nervous about us, mostly because we kind of had an unspoken rule that she’d always be at the shows just because she cares for my career. So I don’t know why I let the next words fall out of my mouth, “who cares where she is.”

All the guys gave me a harsh look and shook their heads. “If you don’t love her anymore, do not do this to her. Don’t drag her along across the world and make her feel like a burden. She’s the sweetest person and you’re acting like she is the biggest problem in the world.” Luke scolds and I raise my eyebrows.

“I do love her,” I state and they all get really quiet. It was starting to make me nervous, how their eyes just screamed that I was wrong.

“Guys, of course, I love y/n. She’s the best thing that has happened to me. Ever. She’s the best person in my life beside you guys. C’mon, you can’t be serious.” I anxiously lean forward and start biting my nails.

“You haven’t really acted like it recently Cal, but we can’t see inside your heart or mind. Just let her know sometimes.” Michael soothes and I nod, laying myself back against the couch.

I just want her here now, just so I could hold her in my arms and do what our ritual was when she first got here. God, I’ve treated her so bad.

It’s us though, we always build ourselves back up.

——

“That was a fucking amazing show!” Ashton came running down the hall that led backstage. “They’re so fucking loud. I love it.” Luke followed behind him and I was the last one to go.

I look around to see that y/n was nowhere to be seen. She must have been so pissed, I don’t think there was ever a fight that she decided was bad enough to miss a show. I started to feel all the guilt bubble inside of my stomach.

“Drinks tonight, guys?” Ashton asks and I shake my head no. “I’m gonna spend some time with y/n,” I say but everyone else says they’re going. “Make sure to clean up your messes.” Luke winked and I shoved his shoulder, a small smile on my face.

The walk to the bus felt long and lonely, everyone else went a different way as they had cars ready to take them to a club or somewhere.

When I enter the bus, it felt so empty and weird. When I leaned down to look in our bunk, she wasn’t in there, I saw a piece of paper but I assumed it was a schedule. I went the extra bunk to look and she wasn’t in there either. I started to feel panic rise in my chest, my breathing becoming distorted.

I frantically look in the little area where clothes go and it was empty. I check the bathroom and all of her personal products where gone. No, no, no.

I run back to the front of the bus and step out, my body colliding with someone else’s. My first hope was that it was her.

“Mitch? What are you doing here? They’re about to go out.” I say and try to remain calm.

“I knew that y/n was leaving.” He said it like he was scared. “What?” I ask harshly and he takes a step back. “She was talking to Jake about canceling her flight and hotel rooms for good, so I asked her about it. She said she didn’t want it to affect the show.” He explains and I run my hands through my hair.

“You didn’t tell me sooner?” I cross my arms and he just sighed. “Cal, she was so sad and I could see the tears. She just needed me to be quiet and I respected that.” He says calmly and I wanted to fucking cry too. “Did she say where she was going?” I ask and he nods. “Said she was going to her sister's house, I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.” He says and that’s what makes me turn completely cold and nauseous.

Whenever she needed a break from us or just the world, she always went to her hometown to see her sister. She felt like it was the best therapy. I had realized a long time ago that she went there when she needed a big change in her life. What if she is done with me? She’s going to her sister's house and trying to make a change. Oh god. Don’t panic, don’t panic.

Before I knew it, I was throwing up beside the bus. The guilt and pain had literally caused me to vomit. Mitch was rubbing my back soothingly and I shakily stand back up. “I’ve got to go to the airport. We have a few days off, right?” I ask and he nods slowly. “Cal, I called the cab before you came out of the bus, they should be here soon,” Mitch says and runs my shoulder a little.

—-

The cab drive to the airport felt like a million years, mostly because I was thinking of how she’s probably already in her hometown. So when he got close to the doors, I was already one foot out the door.

I hastily find a desk and ask her where I can find the city, I had to show her the name from my phone. She points me in the direction and I nod quickly.

I was literally running to her zone of the airport, I see her blue highlights from where I was at. She was sitting alone, no one else was in this section. She was the only one going on this flight. Thank god she was still here.

“Babe,” I say and she turns to look at me. I see her bloodshot eyes and tear stains. “Calum, please just go away. I don’t want to talk about it right now.” She waves me off and my heart breaks. I get in front of her and squat down to her level.

“Baby, why are you leaving? You know that I understand what it means when you are going to your sisters.” I sniffle, she just looks straight through me. “Because you don’t love me and I’m not going to stay here for someone who doesn’t care. I’m tired of being here and in this position.” She says so calmly that it made me nervous. The chills wracking throughout me.

“Of course I love you. What do you mean?” I ask and she just laughs. “God Calum, you’re so fucking hilarious. I heard your interview and I heard what you were trying to tell me. I added all the dots, the fights, and the bickering, telling me that I’m not wanted there. I get it, if you were so out of love with me, you should’ve had the decency to tell me.” She was so stone cold and it made my heart feel like someone was putting tiny needles into it.

“You’re right, I don’t treat you the way I should. I should be treating you the way I did when you first got her or when we’re at home. I do love you like I can’t even see my life without you in it. I can’t see Sunday’s without thinking how we go to Huddle House for waffles. I can’t think of dog walks without thinking about how we go to that small park with Duke. I can’t think about seeing small kids and wondering when the hell I get to put a ring on your finger and have kids with you. I just want to wrap you up in my arms and literally keep you there.” I rant and she goes to speak, but more words started to fly out.

“And god I hate when you put your fucking cold feet on my legs and you do that innocent giggle. When you run your hands through my hair and literally rub my head after drinking too much. I love when you smile and the crooked tooth that you hate, but seeing you smile always makes my heart feel like it’s flying. You dance so bad and it always makes me laugh, but I could watch it forever. Or when you have to jump off that last step on the bus, I feel myself wanting to laugh now just thinking about it.” I chuckle and she literally pinches me to make me stop talking.

“Calum, I don’t want to hear this. You haven’t shown me any type of love in weeks. I don’t want to hear this because it’s going to end up going down the drain in a few weeks.” She crosses her arms. I fixate myself where I’m on my knees instead of squatting.

“I haven’t shown you love, but I promise you I will. Forever and the rest of my fucking life. Please, just don’t leave me and break up with me like this. You don’t understand how I feel when I see you. I need you. I’m sorry that I’ve been so bad to you, I just needed to fucking work on me. I took it out on you and I will forever be sorry, I just don’t feel worthy anymore and I just continuously try to find reasons why I’m good enough for anyone, not just you but every single person I come in contact with. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like an option or a burden if anything that’s me.” I express myself and her eyes widen. I feel my eyes burn with more tears surfacing.

I was never one to just flat out speak about what goes on in my mind. She always knew that I kept it in and she would support me through the times I was in a different headspace, but this time I hurt her instead of just myself.

“Calum, look at me. I’m not going to apologize for my feelings because they are my feelings. I do feel sympathetic that you’re going through this. You know how much I appreciate, love, support, and undyingly need you in my life. I never said the words that I was breaking up with you. I don’t want that. I accept your apology, Cal.” She soothes as she wipes a few tears out of my eyes.

She leans down to kiss my lips softly, I start to smile softly when she does. She pulls away and I grab her hands. “So you’re coming back on tour.” I smile widely and she frowns a little. “No babe, I’m not.” She says and I deadpan. “What? Why? You just said you weren’t breaking up with me. Babe, what’s going on?” I was starting to panic again, my chest rising quickly.

“Hey, calm down. You’re putting yourself into a panic attack, just calm down babe. I am not done with us, I promise. I just want to take some time at home and find myself again. I don’t want to be on tour anymore, I need to just relax for once. I need time, okay. Tour ends soon and I will be at our apartment waiting on you. I promise on Duke's life.” She says and I smile a little. “That’s a big promise, baby.” I cup her hands into mine again.

“I know, just don’t lose sight of how much I love you. I know our fights were pointless and petty, I’m done with that point of our relationship. Let’s heal and when you come back, we’ll be us again. If you need me, I’m one call away. I don’t want you holding all this guilt and uncertainty. You don’t know how much I love you and wish that you could see how valuable you are.” She says and leans forward to kiss my lips softly.

“When does the flight leave?” I ask and she shrugs. “It was delayed so I leave in about an hour.” She says and I smile. I move to sit beside her and I wrap my arms around her. “An hour with you sounds amazing. Can we make-out? It’s empty in here.” I ask and she punches my side.

Yeah well my heart was broke but that bitch survived, she’s okay.

Word count: 1,866

Angst with fluff !??

GIF creds to owner

“He’ll be here, I promise.” It felt like an apologetic lie was rolling off my tongue, I mean it was for sure a lie. I have told several people that lie already; the flower shop, the tux renters who called to speak to Calum, and even with his parents who wanted to meet up last week.

The apology side of it came for myself, I had given up on Calum’s help on the wedding stuff. I knew he wouldn’t care what we picked and he would most likely say “it’s just a cake, it’s just some decorations, it’s just flowers.” I wanted him to be excited as he was when he first proposed. He would speak out about what he would like to do and what format, or venue.

I take a deep breath in and just look at my phone once more. “You know what, let’s just do this. I’m sure he can eat any flavor.” I try to joke with her and she seemed to understand my disappointment. I knew our wedding was 2 months away, but this girl is so popular and I wanted her to do the cake. I was lucky to even be here.

“Any flavor we want to avoid?” She asks and I nod quickly. “No red velvet, can’t stand the color or how much it tastes like dye,” I speak and she nods, writing it down on her notepad. “Here is a menu of what our cakes are and their descriptions.” She slides the menu to me and I scan it over.

I wasn’t a huge fan of caramel but I knew Calum liked it. “I want to try the flavored cookie dough cake, salted caramel cake, and the marble cake.” I slide it back to her and she nods again. “Any filling or icing flavors or do you want to just try the ones that usually come with it?” She asks, man I thought this would be the easy task.

“I’ll just stay with what you offer per cake.” I decide and she writes more things down, she starts to walk into the kitchen. After a few minutes, she comes back out with the three cakes.

“This is the cookie dough cake, it is filled with strong vanilla bean buttercream, and it is iced the same as filled, but the flavor won’t be as strong so it doesn’t end up too sweet.” She explains as she slides it over, I pick up the fork that was provided. I absolutely loved this flavor, it was like my childhood dreams came true.

“This is the salted caramel cake. It is filled with brown sugar and almost a coffee flavor, it is topped off with vanilla buttercream.” She points to which one was the cake. I take a bite of it and try to hide my disapproval, I just am not that big of a fan of caramel but I tried it for Calum. I knew in my heart he’d like it so I smile up at her.

“And this one is the marble cake, it is filled with a chocolate mousse and is iced in almond buttercream.” She adds and I eat a bite of it, I honestly loved it. I loved the chocolate chip and the marble one, I knew Calum would like the other.

“How many tiers of cake would I need to feed 250-300?” I ask and she calculated it on her notepad. “At least 4 tiers.” She looks up and I nod. “Okay, I want 1 layer of the caramel, 1 of the cookie dough, and 2 of the marble. I don’t care which order they’re in.” I say and she nods. “What about designing plans?” She asks and I open my phone to find the pictures.

“I absolutely love the piped lace look on the cake, I would want that for all layers. I have my own flowers that can be used, I want the traditional white.” I explain and she was jotting it down, I saw her drawing a sketch. “Okay, is that it?” She asks kindly and I nod. “Yeah, it is. Thank you for this.” I shake her hand and she nods. “My pleasure, I’ll see you in 2 months.” She says and I wave as I walk out.

——

When I walk in, Calum was sitting in front of the tv watching reruns of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. “Afternoon, babe.” He smiles towards me and I didn’t reply, I just walk towards the kitchen. I see dishes piled up and the garbage needed to be taken out soon.

I groan to myself as I load the dishes into the dishwasher. I use the backdoor to shortcut the walk to where the bins were. When I come back in, I could hear Calum talking obnoxiously loud on the phone.

I tried to tune it out as I started to wipe the cabinets down and re-bag the trash can. I start to boil some water and pull out the ingredients for lasagna. I preheat the oven and find the noodles and jarred sauce.

I add the sauce and ground hamburger meat that I had made last night. It took about 15 minutes before I could even begin to layer all of the things. I set my timer for 35 minutes and just lean myself against the counter.

I couldn’t help my mind from racing with all of the annoyance I had built up for Calum. We’re getting married in two months and I have done most of the things by myself. If this is how we’re going to spend our marriage, then I don’t want it.

I hear Calum coming near because I notice that he was saying his goodbyes on the phone. “Something smells amazing in here.” He compliments and stands in front of me. “Thanks,” I mumble and he raises his eyebrows. “Were you home all day?” I ask and he makes a face. “Well, we recorded until 12 and then I came home.” He states and I nod, how fucking great!

It would have been nice if he could’ve picked up a little or remembered our fucking cake appointment.

“Well, that’s great Calum. Glad you had a nice and relaxed day at home.” I sassily remark and he crosses his arms. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” He huffs and I laughed, literally fucking laughed.

“I had to come home and do the dishes, take out the trash, make supper, and clean up the kitchen. I’m sure you didn’t do the laundry so I’ll also do that.” I defend myself and he rolls his eyes. “You’re going to bicker about me not doing the chores? You’re not my mom, y/n.” He chuckles but I could tell it was a condescending one.

“Yeah, I’m not your fucking mom Calum. I am your fiancée. Your fiancée that has planned the wedding alone for and is basically now your maid. You have ignored all the times I’ve told you that we had an appointment. I had to try cakes today alone and the look the chef gave me was sad.” I feel the annoyances boiling over. “Well, that’s just stuff I knew you could handle. There’s no point in me being there.” He shrugs it off and I laughed again.

I would have felt better if he had said that he forgot the appointments instead of choosing not to go.

“Calum, the point of you being there is to support this marriage. It’s supposed to be something we do together so it is blended for the big day.” I try to calm myself back down but he just shrugs once more. “It’s too late to worry now.” He blows it off and I had tears starting to surface.

“Calum, I don’t want to marry you if it’s going to be like this. I can cancel all of the things in a heartbeat, I’m not afraid to either. I don’t have to marry you if our lives are gonna stay in this ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude.” I spit and his eyes widen.

“What?” His voice cracks a little and I move my hand away when he tries to clasp ours. “I said that I don’t have to be with you. I’m independent, I don’t have to be a maid who plans a wedding and cooks/cleans at home.” I sass and he stumbled a step back.

It was true, I didn’t have to be with him. Of course, I loved him more than anything and it’d be devastating to not be with him, but mama didn’t raise no bitch.

“I-I didn’t know that you were to that point. You never mentioned that it hurt when I didn’t show up. I just thought that you liked to do it on your own or with your sister.” He mumbles and I hear a tiny sniffle. I had to look towards the ground to avoid seeing him cry, I knew it would have me on my knees begging for forgiveness of what I said.

“I told you multiple times that we had appointments at certain places, you chose to ignore that,” I say and he started to weep, I literally was squeezing my eyes and hands so tight so I wouldn’t run back into his arms.

“You are the love of my life and that’s why I proposed. I know I’ve been slacking and I am sorry that you have been doing this stuff without me. I don’t want to even think about not marrying you or not being with me. I’ve loved you for 3 years and I can’t just not be with you.” He grabs my tightened fist and I relax under his touch.

I didn’t know what to say to his little speech, but I knew in my heart that he was being honest. I look up and all I could see was the tears still flowing down his face.

“Calum, I love you with all my heart and soul. We’ve always had bumps in the road but I need a promise, I need to know that something is going to change. I can’t live as your maid, but I can live as your wife.” I explain and he was nodding so quick. “I promise, I promise on Duke's life and the longevity of 5sos.” He was getting closer. “That’s two big things to swear on.” I chuckle and he was pressed up against me.

“Well, I can’t lose you.” He says while pecking my lips continuously. I wrap my arms around his neck and he pulls me into a tight hug.

“What flavor cakes did you get?” He asks as he puts me down and I smile up to him. “Marble, cookie dough, and salted caramel,” I tell him and his eyes go wide. “You actually tried a caramel cake?” He asks and I nod. “It was nasty to me but I’m sure you’re gonna love it.” I laugh and he was grinning big.

“That’s how you know this is real, you tried something you hate but I like.” He pecks my lips again.

throwin’ it back to a high school au! thanks so much for the request :D

masterlist!

Calum Hood: star footballer, incredibly nice guy, and the best smooth-talker you’ve ever met.

With those rich tousled curls heaped on his head and those adorable brown eyes, Calum is the definition of ruggedly handsome. The fact that he has the sculpted body of a would-be professional athlete only makes your body ache more for him. Whenever you walk through the corridors, you always somehow manage to bump into him, and he always delights in teasing you.

You’re not really friends, you and Calum. Rather, he takes amusement in making you as flustered as possible. Every time he crosses your path, he does something exceptionally attractive; such as stretching his arms up high above his head and showing off his lower stomach, or meeting your eyes and shooting you a wink. He knows exactly what he’s doing, and it’s as if he thrives from making you a shivering, flushed mess.

You could stop it if you wanted, but the truth is, flirting with Calum gives you such a thrill, and it’s all in good fun. At least, most of it. Sometimes you’re left with your mind spinning.

Just a continuation not really a part two.

Word count/ 2,523

GIF creds to owner

“Night Cal. Love you.” I peak my head into his music room. He smiles at me and I feel myself shrinking into myself.

“Come in, I have to get my goodnight kiss.” He makes kissy faces and I finally step into the room. I situate my shorts so my thighs didn’t look as bad.

He pats his lap again and I shake my head, but he yanks my arm to pull me down to him. I try to get up but he makes sure his grip is tightened.

I kiss his lips quickly and try to stand again, but he didn’t even budge. I felt his eyes staring me down and I wanted to wrap myself in a blanket and hide. “Why are you staring at me like that?” I ask after I turn to see him all heart eyes.

“Because you’re beautiful.” He boldly tells me, my cheeks feel flushed and I turn my head to the opposite side. I nod as a thank you. “Good night Calum.” I mumble and finally escape his grip. I couldn’t stand to sit here and think about how he deserved better, it broke my heart.

I lay on our bed and search for my phone. I grab it and open up a message from Crystal. “Just bought that shirt, we are going on a date soon.” She adds kissy faces and I smile. “Sounds like a plan, love ya girly.” I text back and then open up my Instagram.

One update account tagged Cal and I in a picture where we were walking into the restaurant. I scrolled through the comments and liked the ones that complimented us. Then I saw the ones that said, “she looks rough. She should’ve picked a different shirt.” My heart dropped and I felt some tears sting my eyes.

I rub them off quickly because I hear Calum come out of the music room and towards our room. “Y/n’s my girlfriend, gonna be girlfriend till the very end.” He belts out and I find my myself laughing at his ‘remix.’ “Y/n’s my beautiful girlfriend, yeah she’s so beautiful.” And then my laughing stopped, I turn off my lamp to hide my contorted face.

“That’s it.” He jumps on me from wherever the fuck he came from. He starts planting kisses everywhere and I tried pushing him off. I couldn’t help but giggle because his hair was tickling me. He moves down to kiss my stomach and I cover his mouth to stop him.

“What’s wrong babygirl, you’ve been acting weird all day.” He props himself right beside me, still leaning in to kiss my face. “I just don’t feel good about myself today. I’m sorry.” I try to just blow it off but he scoffs.

“You have to be kidding me, you’re absolutely stunning to me. I know I can’t just make you feel less insecure but baby you’re so beautiful.” He pouts and I smile.

“I think you deserve someone like Crystal. She’s the one who is stunning.” I mutter so quietly that he had to lean in to catch the words I spoke. “I don’t want anyone like Crystal, I want you.” He whispered back and I roll my eyes.

“I’m fat Calum, I obviously don’t deserve a gorgeous rockstar like you.” I blurt out and I could see the hurt on his face.

He didn’t say anything and I felt my heart break a little.

He suddenly straddled my hips and turned on the lamp. He takes my hair out of its bun and I tried to swat his hands away.

“Your hair, god I love when it’s super curly and then there will be patches of straight hair. Then you style it and use that shampoo that I love, god it’s amazing.

Then there is your eyes, the way you look at me like I’ve hung the stars. I see those little gold specs and it makes my heart so full. The way you bat your eyelashes and raise your eyebrows up at me always makes me laugh. It’s so adorable. Your tiny, but cute ears look great when your hair is in a bun. Then, those silver earrings I gave you for our anniversary that you never change out, it makes me feel good to know you like them. Your daith piercings in both ears makes you look sexy.” He starts and he makes me roll my eyes.

He starts caressing my arms and I groan because of how much I hate them.

“I am in love with your arms, the way they wrap me up in a hug and make me feel good all over. We’re gonna skip the hands because you don’t want me to say anything about those.” He smirks and I lightly punch his chest. “C’mon Cal, it’s okay. You need to be up early for the studio.” I try to shove him back to his side.

“Your boobs are amazing, gives me something to lay on and do other things that I won’t mention. Then, your stomach is so adorable. I could care less about how many ‘fat rolls’ you have. I don’t give a fuck about that.” He kisses my stomach softly and then he moves down a little.

He slides his hand underneath me and grips my ass in his hands. “And your ass, oh wow. I could stare at you in those skinny jeans all fucking day.” He mumbles lowly and I cover my face because it was burning red.

He jumps off the bed and I whine, I missed his touch and his cute little kisses. He runs a finger down my thighs and calves. “Your thighs are absolutely amazing, the way you wrap them aro-“ I cut him off by throwing a pillow. I knew exactly where he was going. “The way you walk around with a baggy shirt and your thighs and calves look, I could take a picture and frame it.” He runs his hands up and down my thigh. I swear my head was gonna pop off soon.

He comes back to his spot beside me and I feel all warm inside. “You’re adorable Cal, I love you.” I grin at him and he nods slowly.

“I almost forgot my favorite place on your whole body.” I swear to god if this gets sexual I will push him off this bed.

He comes over to kiss me slowly, it didn’t feel rushed at all. He was kissing me as if it really meant something to him, I knew it meant something to me. He didn’t take it too far, but as soon as he pulled away he started kissing my cheek. “Your smile can make my whole day. I could come home and be pissed at the world, then I see you in the kitchen making us supper, your singing with that beautiful voice of yours and you dance around. The smile on your lips wraps me around your goddamn finger, it has a way of curing me.” He whispers by my ear and my heart pounds. “Let’s not forget the amazing way you kiss me and then you wr-“ He was about to get too in depth and I push his head away.

He grabs my hand that adorned the promise ring he gave me a year ago, “In all seriousness, I gave you this because I love you for you. I love your personality and wit. I love the way you love babies and the way they love you. The way you can make anyone laugh, or make everyone listen to an important issue we face in our society. The way you compliment my fans while I have to take pictures with them, even if they interrupt our dates; you never get mad at them unless they try to pounce on us. You hang out with my friends and come to the studio when you know I have lost inspiration. I fell in love with the way you call me to tell me about a dog you see. When you call me on tour to remind me of how much you love me. Or when we were just friends and you would watch sappy movies with me. You’re my babygirl, y/n.

I didn’t need to fall in love with your body, I fell in love with your soul.” He praises and kisses the finger that had the ring.

I didn’t even know most of this stuff and it made me burst into tears. This time, tears of joy. He makes my heart so full.

This has to be posted in 2 because I literally got carried away bc I am also a plus size insecure mess.

Word count: 2,523

Fluffy angst

Your hair could just choose which way it wanted to be, either be curly or straight. No, it has to have both of the choices. It looks horrible.

It’s really dry for hair and it’s super frizzy, you need to dye it again. Your roots have grown out too much. Have you ever heard of a brush?

Your skin is pasty and a little dry. You need to get out more and maybe multiply the amount of moisturizer. Ugly skin y/n, ugly skin.

Your thighs are chunky, jiggle a lot and deflate when sitting down. It looks bad and super fat. Same for your arms. Lose some weight Y/n.

Your stomach is not flat, you have some rolls, not some... a lot. Your boobs are too big for someone who is so ugly. God, why are you this fat and ugly?

Your have one lazy eye, yeah it’s not bad but you look stupid. Your cheeks have too many freckles and your mouth is super small, looks sad... always. Your eyebrows need to be waxed or plucked, you look horrible with them like that. Your eyelashes are too short. Your acne is out of control. The circles under your eyes? Yeah, they could house a family. Just ugly.

Your ears are too small, just like your lips. You should change out your earrings every once in a while.

Your butt is too big and it sticks out like a sore thumb when you’re wearing jeans. Your calves are super wide, no wonder you have trouble with wearing boots. You really need to do some more exercise.

I turn to look at anything else in the mirror, I couldn’t see any thing else to judge about myself. I throw my hair back into its usual bun, all kinds of curls were sticking out, why couldn’t my whole hair just be curly?

“Ready to go?” Calum’s voice cuts through my thoughts, I straighten out the striped shirt with roses on it. I looked bad in this shirt, too late to change though. I put on the jean jacket Calum gave me for Christmas and then grab my wallet.

“Yeah, ready when you are.” I smile up at him, well fake smiled. He gives me a soft smile and puts his hand out for mine, I gladly take the offer. “You look hot, as always. So, I thought we’d go eat somewhere before we head to the guys house. Is that okay?” He asks and I nod, I honestly didn’t care what we did as long as he was there.

When we finally started to drive into town, Calum tried to cup my thigh into his hands but I slyly just took his hand to wrap it in mine. I did not want him to grab my thigh when I look this bad and when I obviously feel like shit.

—

When we get our food, I find myself pushing most of my food around with the fork. I honestly didn’t feel like eating right now when I knew I was gonna regret it.

“Does it taste bad? I can order you something else?” Calum interrupts my thoughts for the second time, I snap my head upwards and give him a nice smile. “I just don’t feel like eating, my stomach is a little queasy.” I lie, well my stomach hurt from all the anxiety and self-conscious building in it, not the food.

“Do you need some meds? We can run to Walgreens.” He sounded concerned, so I take his hand from across the table. “Thanks babe for being so sweet, but I’ll be fine.” I coax and he rubs small circles over my hand.

“Well, try to eat because you might be hungry. It could be a reason for the queasiness.” He tried to help and I fake smile again. “Okay, I’ll try. I mean how could I resist those puppy eyes.” I tease.

—

I sat by Crystal on the couch, Michael and Calum were deep into some video game. I look over to her and see her smiling towards Michael.

She is so pretty, much thinner than me and her hair was so nice. She was literally perfection compared to me. Calum could easily pick a girl who was as gorgeous as Crystal.

“So, that is an adorable shirt on you, where’d you get it?” Crystal asks and I smile, it felt good to know that maybe it didn’t look as bad as I thought. “Uh, I think my mom said she ordered it off of Etsy, she gave it to me for an early birthday present.” I explain and she smiles. “So cute, I might have to order one and we can match.” She puts her hand on my arm and I feel myself cower a little. “That would be so cute.” I fake my excitement. How could I compare to her?

“Ok, I’ve had enough of games, I want to watch some movies now.” Luke exclaims once Michael won. “Sounds good to me.” Cal said as he moved to the other couch.

I look at him and he’s wearing a grin because Ashton told him something. The little crinkles by his eyes made my heart flutter because he was so happy. The black leather jacket began to come off, his old Maine shirt clung to his body.

He was gorgeous, almost too gorgeous for me. I hear his laugh and my heart flutters, his laugh always makes my day. I literally am so in love with him, but how could he be in love with someone like me?

“Here Michael, I’ll move so you can be with Crystal.” I smile up to him and stand up quickly. “Thanks Y/n.” He smiled and I walk towards the couch that Calum was sitting on. “C’mere.” He was sticking his hands out and then patted his lap. No way, I’d fucking break his cute little legs. I just plant myself on the beside him.

He engulfs me into his arms and I lay my head on his chest. He started kissing the side of my head rapidly and I feel my cheeks turn red. Luke put on some action movie and I find myself ignoring whatever it was.

Suddenly, Calum puts his hand on my stomach and I flinch. I try to pull the same move where I hold his hand and he pulled his hand away. I feel my heart sink when he retracts and it’s probably because I’m a insecure piece of shit.

——

“Night Cal. Love you.” I peak my head into his music room. He smiles at me and I feel myself shrinking into myself. His eyes always fucking finds out what’s going on in my head.

“Come in, I have to get my goodnight kiss.” He makes kissy faces and I finally step into the room. I situate my shorts so my thighs didn’t look as bad.

He pats his lap again and I shake my head, but he yanks my arm to pull me down to him. I try to get up but he makes sure his grip is tightened.

I kiss his lips quickly and try to stand again, but he didn’t even budge. I felt his eyes staring me down and I wanted to wrap myself in a blanket and hide. “Why are you staring at me like that?” I ask after I turn to see him all heart eyes.