#callessays

Hussie has a blatant racial stereotype in the comic and her name is Damara Megido.

(yeah, I know that our activity has dropped now that it's been over a month since Homestuck last upd8ed and we're in the middle of a mega-hiatus, but this is something that has just been brewing in my mind for a while.)

mCAT: The character of Kankri Vantas was introduced not very long before Calloutstuck was created, with such events not being coincidental since Kankri's introduction crystallized a lot of brewing feelings in the Homestuck fandom that some fans (read: those impacted by systematic oppression) were being a bunch of party poopers who couldn't take a joke and were dragging the fandom down. Kankri—a character I continue to have ambivalent feelings about to this day, neither loving nor loathing completely—had his heart in the right place but often came off as a grotesque caricature of so-called "social justice warriors/SJWs" (a label I have yet to see anyone apply to themselves seriously, and is mostly slung around as a catch-all insult by "anti-social justice warriors/anti-SJs," who are all too proud to sport that title), making up oppressions whenever he saw fit and willfully ignoring when others, particularly Porrim, had legitimate grievances as opposed to childish petulance in reaction to what he had to say. 

Kankri may not have much significance to the plot of Homestuck itself, being a one-joke pony of a character, but he became a firmly entrenched as a trope in the fandom, with anyone daring to speak out against something they found upsetting within the comic getting a "Shut up, Kankri" in return. Trigger warnings, something that a lot of people need to use the Internet without having panic attacks and suicidal urges, became a vast joke as Kankri's trademark. This noxious atmosphere was part of the reason Calloutstuck was created, and while perhaps not as strong as at the time of his introduction, using Kankri as a convenient strawman for anything the fandom at large finds overly critical is still a very common practice.

But what I'm wondering about right now is the extent to which the Kankri trope has effected those of us who are usually willing to speak up when there's something upsetting or problematic in Homestuck. I don't know how much of this is due to having been called this myself by trolls or having OCD (which is like having a troll embedded in your brain, at least in my case), but there have been times, not only within the Homestuck fandom but outside of it, where I wanted to bring attention to something that was making me feel uneasy that nobody else had brought up before but I hesitated because I didn't want to "sound like Kankri." Now, there are plenty of things to legitimately criticize about Kankri—having a savior complex, making mountains out of molehills indiscriminately, believing he is always right—but it's all too easy to want to avoid such things by keeping quiet and letting problematic things go unchallenged. And that HURTS. Because I kept quiet in certain circumstances, I almost certainly had others lose trust in me and feel betrayed by my inaction, and I'm positive I can't be the only person who's been impacted in this way.

I cannot help but think that this was expressly Andrew Hussie's intention with Kankri. He didn't just want to mock a group of people he thought were killjoys—he wanted to never have to hear criticism of himself or his actions. Hussie obstinately refuses to acknowledge he is capable of hurting, much less oppressing people, as his no-pology after the infamous "CAUCASIAN!!" panel and subsequent retcon demonstrated. And as a cishet, presumably non-disabled white dude, he can freely remain indifferent to the concept of microaggressions, thus giving the fandom carte blanche to commit them without repercussion. At the same time, the creation of Kankri-as-a-bogeyman, with the knowledge that he is an undesirable character that one should not ever be like, serves as a convenient silencing tool for those who would otherwise protest.

~MF derse:

Let me clarify what ur looking at here, folx.

This is in the calloutstuck tag.

This is in my tag. That is a space. Properly reserved for the blog and concerns people have about it.

I've collected articles, pick-me-ups, apologies, notifications, and anything  important through this tag.

As in, important for the blog, if it isn't just having a space even supporters can be safe (cuz, as u have seen before, sometimes people harass them.)

All of us, people wanting to talk about discomfort with imagery reminiscent of hate crimes, harassment of individual users stemming from microaggressive bigotry, dangerously constructed pages (due to strobing lights without a single warning)--anything that helps people get through navigating an impossibly huge and unsafe place to be hopefully entertained...we have used this tag as well as select few spaces associated with the blog to talk about what we experience every day.

And then there are people who hate that. There are people who are so charged that they violently oppose people speaking. Discomfort in questioning the kyriarchy or discomfort with one's self has lead to violent outbursts.

They're violent, they're angry, and they are, for all intents and purposes, scared. They're hurt. They're confused. They're isolated. They attack due to taking actions AS an attack. They don't see themselves as wrong.

Then, there are these people.

There is no greater disgusting, appalling thing than indifference.

There will never be a greater force than indifference.

Because an unswayed person will react to things as casual or something of little concern. Regard anything relative to the impact upon eyself. If it is not of eys concern, it is nothing. It's appallingly dismissive, careless, and selfish. And in some cases, aggressive.

This is a joke. I know the game. I know it's intended to be a joke. And that's why it's so disgusting.

Because this space, to them, only exist as a means to be entertained. Or it's worthless. The safety of a minority is nothing compared to 

shits and giggles.

This behavior is so typical, so ugly, so hopeless that it's draining. That's all we get, as mods, as fans, and as marginalized people.

Disregard.  Worthlessness. Ostracism.

And there is no swaying an indifferent party. Because it depends on making a subject become direly relevant to all involved. That's what oppression today is; parties with ugly polarization benefiting from the sheer numbers of people who could not possibly give a crap. A multitude of people who you see and know don't give a shit about your life. Just watching things happen and not thinking twice about it.

And that's what makes advocacy hard for a lot of people: knowing there are people who can't get it or just fucking...won't. Because they make it look attractive, make it look fun. And your panic, danger, and desperation, in comparison, just falls on deaf ears. And you realize how small you are. Because there are WAY more "It's my opinion, you're being rude"s compared to "FUCK YOU"s and "YOU SHOULD JUST FUCKING DIE!"s.

And we come to this, and a question everyone has on their mind in regards to the blog. Which is, "why." Which can be answered easily, with another question.

How do you take down the incredibly huge masses that are indifferent?

mynameiswells asked: you don't think slash art (or at least a lot of it) is fetishizing gay men? i mean gay men are still oppressed members of society (obviously not the most oppressed, still being cis/male, but still), and i think oversexualization of gay relationships, even fictional ones, is still harmful to real gay men. what do you think?

Cosmic: YES GOOD THANK YOU FOR THIS QUESTION I HAVE FEELS ABOUT THIS MULTIFACETED ISSUE. A good chunk of slash art is pretty much GAY GAY GAY LOOK AT HOW HOMO GAY THEY ARE OMG AWW HOMOSEXUALS - which, of course, very much has the effect of treating gay men like shiny toys. That shit is very much not okay, contributing to narratives and Very Special Episodes where being gay is the sole focus of their character and not a facet of a fully realized person. A lot of it is also perpetuated by “allies” to the queer community, who think that shipping gay characters gives them credence to speak for the queer community and over actual gay men - especially actual gay men telling them to cut their shit out.

Oversexualization also feeds into the belief that being queer is all about the sex we have - thus making it inappropriate to talk to children, for example, about being queer. It also feeds back into things like rape culture and dehumanization and whatnot.

So yeah, fetishization and oversexualization are important, harmful to real gay men, and should be addressed. In comparison to the shit the rest of the queer community has to deal with, though, it’s….yeah. And I’m really glad you acknowledge that. For once, we have to remember that a lot of shippers are queer themselves and use slash art as a way to garner representation in media that excludes or tokenizes them.

For another, we have to acknowledge the intersectionalities of this issue. As proven repeatedly by the Teen Wolf fandom (which is only marginally less awful than the Homestuck fandom) and by the (distinct lack of) response to canon QPOC in the show The LA Complex - two examples off the top of my head - fandom only gives a shit about a very specific kind of gay man - specifically of the white variety. POC charries get excluded and ignored, even if they have canon subtext or interactions that would be considered a goddamn gift to fandom and shipping if the charries were white. And being fat/trans/disabled/having trauma? Used for manpain fodder or fetishized instead of being taken seriously. I also see a lot of cultural appropriation and ripping fashion created/conceptualized by POC for drawing solely white gay male fanart - the overwhelming amount of pieces featuring white Dave/John or white Dirk/Jake wearing kicks, for example.

And all of this despite the fact that people of color - trans women of color, specifically - built the movement and thus made it possible for people to have their precious white male ships.

~MF derse:

look what i get to wake up to

(mightily suggest)

also: personally my thoughts on good characteriz8ion and headcanons:

sure

about anything u see

the only bad characteriz8ion is one used for kicks and laffz

i feel like u can say that anyone has anything or any race or anything rly but because u dont rly need a reason

just dont be a dick (i.e.: Jake has brain damage specifically cuz he's dense)

I’ve seen people get confused over “retard.”

Yeah, it is a slur.

I mean, I’ve said this before. You can do whatever with your friends to be perfectly honest. Say it. Because no one can hear or be hurt by the shit you say. Nobody is telling you NOT to say it, exactly, because it IS a free country. It’s just that you ARE saying a loaded ass word:

Any word that you say to address someone of lower privilege to strip them of everything but one aspect of their identity is bad. It’s not okay to say it because it is affectively saying “no matter what you do, you will always be this one thing.” And considering that words like that on people of lower privilege are usually slung while those people are being denied basic humanity every day (slow death) or killed (quick death), you are also saying “and you could die one day and no one would give a shit.”

That’s a slur.

People were killed for being mentally disabled. They were directly drowned, experimented upon, and locked away for physical impairment or divergence. They still are.

I’ve shared that I am mentally disabled on this blog. I have anxiety, depression, and ADHD (this being the most pressing one in my life since I’ve had it and will have it forever).

This means that I naturally think differently; neurotypical people can think in a single thread while I think in several branching strands, if that makes sense.

I have an incredibly short attention span because of it—I think of several things at once and it’s hard for me to focus or remember lists of things because I can take a tangent at any time. Its caused me to hyper focus on one thing and forget other things exist, and come off as unprofessional for several reasons. I would half-do projects because I would be unable to continue with all the ideas I had for it. I would forget something incredibly simple, not because I am incompetent, but because I could not “digest” the information and prioritize it over literally everything else that I can think of over the course of the day on top of the things I had on my mind.

Since I’ve been able to get accommodations, I can learn how to address these issues; schedules and day planners help. I have explained that I have to make lists all the time to my peers, and I’ve certainly proved it. People are mostly understanding and okay with what I have to do to stay on task, because I am actually *effective* when I use the right methods, and that’s all they can really ask for.

My parents are old school, low class, and of color. Me having ADHD wasnt a consideration because it wasnt a possibility. I was simply lazy, messy, (spitefully) inattentive, and fidgety. I could not have lists, I’d have to recite things back to my parents despite the fact that it had nothing to do with how I’d think when I had to complete a task. I was not allowed to start and finish things, even if I was doing it to break tasks down into smaller ones that I can hop back and forth between to keep my mind from wandering. Because what I was doing sounded dumb to them, two neurotypical people.

And their impatience led to my anxiety and depression because I became jumpy when frustrations were expressed. I internalized a complex of defeatism and everlasting incompetence because I was obviously “stupid.” I didn’t bother with jobs or long tasks because I knew i would fuck it all up. And the same question would continue long after they started doing it and even now into my adult years:

“Are you fucking retarded? Are you a retard? You slow?”

And I would say no, but they’d continue to rub my nose in what was obviously proving otherwise. I stopped crying after an age because I learned a long time ago that it was also stupid and useless behavior.

I couldn’t do anything because it’d eventually lead me to an “are you retarded?” and an easy way out of a stressful and debilitating situation.

I can’t exactly say it’s stopped. It’s long after, and on my especially hectic days where I fall short of superhuman efficiency that I still ask myself that.

I have a friend that does it

I have a friend who does use “retarded” as an adjective. I am not personally troubled by it because of one thing: I’ve also witnessed him apologize to a friend for using it, and not use it where said person could deal with that again; he doesn’t put it on his tumblr at all, and, though he sometimes uses it in private conversation, I don’t mind. Because he knows its some tough shit to deal with for some people and he’s not gonna fuck with people just cuz of how he talks.

I myself reclaim and I post tws for slurs on my blog because I am not risking other people’s comfort at the expense of mine. It’s seriously the easiest thing to do.

So, yes, retard is a slur. We use it today, because it is an insult. We do not want to be “retarded”, and we use it as something negative.

I will always be sardonically amused as to how people are always more concerned for the mental health of abusers than the mental health of the abused.

We're horrible people, apparently, for calling out someone for egregious racism who then said they were to going to kill themselves in an obvious and commonly used attempt to dodge responsibility for her racism and make us out to be bullying someone mentally impaired. 

And yet I see no one saying anything about the constant barrage of abuse that we get in our inbox. And all three of us are queer, two of us people of color, and suffer or have suffered from depression, anxiety, and suicide ideation.

But somehow it's okay to harass and threaten us?

To the point where I drop off the calloutstuck map for days or weeks at a time because it slashes my spoon count in thirds?

So, what have we learned here? (Except not really because all of this is business as usual.)

There's a ridiculous bias concerning race in Homestuck, and I can definitely cough up all kinds of receipts.

(Some of!) said receipts and debunking below the cut.