#cafeshuaa

You’d been blessed with the existence of your boyfriend for five consecutive years now. You had both drabbled in numerous things since the relationship had started on the fateful day, from adventurous travelling whenever his schedule permitted it and even pottery classes - you had begged him for that one but nonetheless you’d both participated in it. 

Moments like this where you were both doing your own thing meant the world to both you and Joshua. You had adjusted well to the life of an idol’s partner over the years and Joshua was proud to admit it to the press whenever they asked about you, which was frequently - mind you. They were incredibly nosey to know if Seventeen’s gentleman was upholding his relationship he’d acquired not long after he debuted. 

As you laid your legs over his, thumbing through your phone as he watched TV, you were reminded how much you loved your boyfriend. The way he’d furrow his brows a little, his eyes trained on the TV screen. He was always full of expressions and not only yourself but his group told him that all the time. 

You were just casually scrolling through instagram, admiring some of the model-worthy pictures your friends would upload and occasionally pause to read an ad. Your eyes landed on an advert for onesies for babies, one of them being a rabbit. Softly, a noise came from your throat and Joshua’s eyes moved to you with a risen brow before he saw the look on your face. He’d seen it multiple times before, especially if there was a puppy. 

“What have you seen?” He mused quietly, turning the volume of the TV down as he gave you his full attention. A hum vibrated from you as you debated the idea of showing your boyfriend, who had voiced once before the anxiety he had over the family concept now that he was an idol.

“Just some instagram advert.” You mumbled, screenshotting it before continuing to scroll. It was best not to waste breaths on situations that had a slim chance of happening right now. You would be brooding for a while longer the more newborn photos came up on your instagram feed, your friends all becoming mothers with their partners. 

“We’re not pulling that, Darling, c’mon,” Joshua sighed, one of his hands reaching to cup your cheek. Your lower lip jutted out like a kid, “what was it, hm?”

With a slight increase in the rate of your heartbeat, you scrolled back up to the advert and turned your phone to show Joshua, hiding your face as you prepared once more for the conversation that would shatter your heart a little every time. You didn’t want to see how disappointed he presumably was that you’d fell head over heels for something once more related to babies.

“The bunny one is adorable,” your boyfriend chuckled lightly, his thumb stroking your cheek as he sighed somewhat, “you know I’m just really wary for your safety as my partner, right?”

“I know.” You whispered back, exhaling a little as you turned your phone back to you, continuing to scroll as if you hadn’t seen that advert. You knew it was going to stick with you though. It was the effect of brooding, the unforgettable moments in which adorable baby items would catch your eye and play on your mind for weeks as you debate buying it in preparation for the day that Joshua agrees to a family.

It was quiet as Joshua shuffled slightly, pulling you to sit on his lap as he wrapped his arms around you and let you lean your head to his shoulder. You didn’t feel any urge to cry originally but as you listened to the rhythm of your boyfriend’s heart while he gently kissed your head, your eyes began to sting a little. 

“A family means a lot to you, doesn’t it?” Joshua hummed, tapping his fingers on your side to the tune of the theme song playing. You nodded slowly, “you know it does to me too, hm?”

Yet again, you were compelled to nod at your boyfriend’s words. Of course family meant a lot to him, all of his family was back in Los Angeles - across the world. The only person he had in South Korea was little old you and perhaps that’s why he was so hellbent on protecting you like he was. He’d voiced many a times his concerns with you falling pregnant despite how much he’d love it. You had to recognise that your boyfriend and his group had millions of fans who may or may not be happy with the announcement that his partner is carrying his child - especially when she hasn’t appeared to the public eye at all in the past five years since Joshua announced the actual relationship.

Another kiss was pressed to your head, this time not pulling away straight away as he lingered there. You could hear him sigh gently as he pulled away, rubbing your back.

“C’mon, let’s go to bed.” His voice was low and quiet as his hands moved your legs around his waist, refusing to let you walk to the bedroom yourself. You didn’t ignore the soft voice crack in his words when he last spoke, the man barely holding himself together as you buried your face into his neck, closing your eyes.

-

You sat with your back pressed against the wall as you watched Seventeen go over their new dance in broken parts, heavily focused in the midst of their jobs as you tilted your head back. Waves of nausea kept washing over you, causing you to occasionally swallow what you suspected to be the acidic feeling of bile. As much as you were trying to convince yourself it was just a stomach bug, your period was late and out of panic you hadn’t even told Joshua.

He must have known something was up, as usually he tracked your period with you so he knew when to treat you to your cravings, warm blankets, candles that smell like fresh cotton and his gentle guitar playing. Five years of dealing with your periods and awful attitude during it and he figured he’d almost mastered how to be a man during the difficult times for you. Quietly, a female staff member approached your huddled form. Your face had flushed from colour, your brows were furrowed from the uncomfortable feelings you were experiencing.

“Are you okay?” She whispered and you opened your eyes to the blinding lights of the dance studio, wincing momentarily before shaking your head.

“Can you come with me to the convenience store?” You asked politely, your voice gentle and raspy as she nodded, “don’t tell the guys.”

She held your hand as she lifted you to your feet, the two of you disappearing from the stuffy dance studio. Your head was spinning quickly at the hit of fresh air once you had escaped the Pledis building. The staff member didn’t let go of your clammy hand, leading the way as you debated whether it would have been smart to go to the toilet before this. Once inside, the staff member stopped to let you lead her to where you needed to be. 

Awkwardly you placed one foot in front of the other, searching the medicine aisle for a pregnancy test. As you reached for it, the staff member squeezed your hand. Her eyes were wild, trailing to the pregnancy test in your hand. You smiled weakly, watching the small celebration the staff member you didn’t even know the name of did at the idea of you being pregnant. You held your breath, not wanting to even feel an ounce of happiness until you’d spoken to Joshua after the test.

The staff member managed to get you into the staff toilets, a lot quieter and away from the trainees and idols that bustled around the building. She stood in front of your stall door, humming a soft tune to help your nerves. Repetitively, your foot tapped up and down as you awaited the results of the test in a dim toilet stall in the Pledis building, being supported by a staff member. 

“Is everything alright?” She called out when you choked out a sob, your shaking hand clasping the test as you covered your mouth with the other. You could hear her coat rustle on the other side of the door, “y/n?”

“It’s positive...” Your words barely came out as words, instead croaks between all of the tears as the staff member gasped, pacing a little.

“Do you want to go tell Joshua? I can bring him here if it helps - or I can ask the staff to step out of the studio-” the supportive staff member rambled, her words rushed as you let out a choked laugh at her excitement.

In the end, once you had emerged from the stall, the two of you agreed you would tell Joshua with a lack of staff presence. You didn’t mind if his group was there, perhaps you would be able to get away with it without them even noticing. You hid the test in your jacket pocket, swallowing the lump in your throat.

Danbi - as you had soon learnt her name - kept her promise and ushered the staff out of the dance studio at your request. The group of males looked around in confusion, mumbling amongst themselves. It didn’t take long for Joshua to find your tear-stained face left by the door, his legs carrying him to you almost instantly.

“Darling? What happened?” His hands flew to your shoulders, his eyes scanning your face as he watched tears fill in your eyes. He began panicking at your lack of response, “are you okay? Y/n?”

Your chapped lips opened to speak but not a noise came out as you sniffled, reaching into your pocket and bringing out the pregnancy test. Joshua’s eyes fell to it immediately. He stared between you and the pregnancy test. You were the light of his life, his biggest supporter and his absolute pure angel. His eyes traced the way your hair had fell around your face, the patterns your tears had made on your rosy cheeks and the way you’d chewed your lips so much they bled. Slowly, a hand moved from your shoulder to take the test from your hand, his gaze falling back to it as he read the results.

The silence in the room become deafening, the eyes of many of his members on the back of his head as the familiar stinging in his eyes began to occur. His arms wrapped around you quickly, pulling you to his chest as he let out a gentle sob into your head, one of his hands threaded through your hair. In a mimicked response, the tears you’d held so bravely in front of your boyfriend fell. Your shaky hands gripped his shirt until your knuckles went white, sobs wracking through both of your bodies as you took in the moment that you discovered you were parents. 

-

“What do you think you’re doing?” Joshua quipped as he caught you in the nursery floor, folding baby clothes that were gifted at the baby shower you’d just held. There was no doubt that baby Hong had acquired twelve uncles before they were even born, with the nursery floor covered in gifts from all of the members. Wonwoo had opted for cat plushies and an adorable children’s book about stray cats whereas Soonyoung and Chan had chirped in together for a pair of newborn’s first trainers and an interactive dance mat for when they’re older - they were convinced they could make a dancer out of the baby. 

Seungcheol and Jeonghan chipped in with a few other members and took a floral approach in light of Joshua’s old love for floral things - especially scents. Minghao and Junhui had brought some Chinese children’s books that they promised to read to the baby. You smiled a little up at your boyfriend, one of his brows raised as he waited for an answer.

“Am I not allowed to tidy away all of these amazing gifts?” You mused as you gestured to the covered floor. Joshua hummed, kneeling behind you as he planted a kiss on your cheek.

“If you wasn’t so close to your due date, perhaps,” he whispered in your ear, letting you lean your head back against him as he rubbed your shoulders, “you know you could just ask me to do it?”

“It takes two to make a baby.” You whined and Joshua chuckled, shaking his head.

“Yeah, and you’re the one growing it. I can put things away, Darling.” To prove his point, he picked up where you had just left off with the folding, singing softly to your bump as you moved out of his way a little but still stayed for his company. He didn’t mind that so much, just as long as you wasn’t overworking yourself.

-

The deathly grip you had on Joshua’s hand gently faded away as you rested your head back on the hospital pillows, your face sweaty and hair clinging to your skin as the cries of a newborn baby erupted into the silence that followed your last scream. 

“It’s a girl.” A midwife announced, wrapping the newborn as Joshua watched intently with tearful eyes. With a gentle touch, he was handed the swaddled baby girl as you closed your eyes, tired of the blinding white hospital lights that were hurting your retinas. Joshua chuckled softly, carefully leaning closer to you as his spare hand held yours.

“Darling,” he whispered and you hummed a noise of acknowledgement without opening your eyes, “it’s a girl.”