💚

what does love mean when you had to walk away from the two people in the world you loved more than anything, with no explanation or goodbye?

it means waking up in the night trembling and wandering into the small, warm kitchen to see joe sitting, sketching, a night owl mapping the lines of his early bird’s face from memory. it means settling with him and being given a page and a pen and doing the same for your brother, your mother, reminding yourself of where you came from and where you are going.

it means nicky makes your favourite food for dinner on the days that you forget you are made of starstuff and on the days when you are on top of the world. it means on the normal days that you get a soft smile and quiet italian instructions on how, exactly, you’re supposed to eat that. (and, the fact that it really did taste divine, even if you still don’t quite get chopsticks, that was definitely some kind of love)

it means teaching the people you love things they cannot have imagined learning. it means showing andy the beauty of humanity, and the desire to be better and more and wonderful, and that there are millions of people out there who want to build a better world that wouldn’t even need them anymore.

it means forgiveness, it means trying to do better. it means sometimes you have to break the rules and send postcards to a lonely little house in france, reminding the people who need to be better that they still can be, and that there will be a place for them when they have found their redemption.

it means when you stumble, a strong arm hauls you up and holds you steady and gets you moving because you are not weak because you need help, you are human and you are loved and you are whole. 

it means that you learn to mourn for what you’ve lost but you don’t wallow in it, don’t let the pain take away from what can be, what should be, what you deserve.

it means family and hope and warmth and life. that’s what love means now.

I don’t normally like doing this because I don’t like sharing my writing here beyond snippets but @cadewrites said something very sweet about me just now and I guess I better prove they’re talking about a person and their writing rather than just, you know, reblogging a lot of stuff.  xD

So, without further ado, the opening to my current project, a short story titled Solace.

Solace’s blurb:  A convict is relieved of life-long incarceration after it's discovered that her murder charges were for the supposed death of a god.

Betelgeuse: This one is a hard one...  Like really hard.  Um, one of the things I will never forget though was the first time I ever finished a novel.  700 pages in just over a year.  A huge sense of accomplishment.

Libra: Something a little more my pace lol.  Purple.  Hands down!

No condemnation here, (this Kali is poly in fact) Solomon Academy will have a lot of up and downs in relationships, there’ll be some heartbreaks and incompatibilities (Is it even a spoiler to say Brooklyn?) 

Thanks for asking!!

19. Do you write multiple works at the same time?

Heck yeah I do

I usually wind up with an A project and a B project–my two main WIPs–and then I keep a couple C projects lingering in the background for when I’m blocked on the main two or I just need a breath of fresh air

21. Do you create aesthetics for your writing, ie. on pinterest or tumblr?  If so, what’s the board or tag?

Not really, but I’m kinda halfway trying to start

So far I’ve been tagging them as #windswept and #aesthetic, just because I’m only really doing it for the one story, so far, and I’m super-good at this whole ‘being organized’ thing

I’ll probably try to up my game when I transition into my next project, though

24. Do you prefer first or third person?  Why?

It depends on the needs of the story, but I usually default to third person for novel-length works, just because it’s what I’m most familiar with, and it allows me to quietly snark at my characters from within the narration

First person is still a lot of fun, though, and some stories demand that extra intimacy

Welcome @cadewrites, and thank you for the follow! 

Why the honourable mention? 

you have known it since you were a child. there are people in the world who want to make your blood mean death. you didn’t let them then, and you won’t let them now.

you have known it since the men in uniforms came to your door and told you how brave he had been and how proud you should be and all you could think of was the fact there are so many jokes he never got to tell you that he never will now. you regret not laughing harder before.

you have known it since you were in basic and someone had to leave because their grandmother passed and they were suddenly gone. gone. they didn’t die too but it was almost like they were dead to you, no longer experiencing the thing that brought you all together.

you have known it since you lost the first member of your squad. they died under someone else’s hands but it still felt like your fault, still felt like it was your failing. it took you a long time to realise that it was, but it wasn’t, and this is what makes you a good leader. 

you have known it because you have brought it to other people. you know it in the worst way you can know it (and you are sure it is the worst way) and you know you will keep knowing it that way. there is no escaping it for you, not in these lifetimes.

you have known it intimately, in a way only a handful of others have ever known it. you have known it because it came into your home and turned out the lights but you told it, the same way you’ve been telling it since you were a child, to get the hell out. 

it listened.