As I've previously mentioned, I've been crazy busy lately. I won't bore you with the long list of other things I've been up to in its entirety, but I will say that I've been running a lot of errands. I've also been running a lot of fake errands, which are only errands in the sense that I'm going to a place to look for stuff... they are not real errands because once I get there, there's nothing that I actually need.Â
One of the best possible fake errand places to go is IKEA.
I love everything about IKEA. I know that you can pretty easily bypass the preset path they've carved out for everyone to funnel through, but I never would. I want to see everything, from the furniture to the light fixtures to the warehouse, and then I want to top it off with a big plate of Swedish meatballs and gravy.Â
On one of my most recent trips to IKEA I noticed two things: Â
That they awesomely felt like they had to point out that the bus-sized hot dog on this banner was "not actual size." Â
That right before you walk into the warehouse they have an area in which they sell real plants. Real cheap plants.
Among these cheap plants was a flat of random cacti for $2.99 apiece. If you're a regular reader, you'll know that cheap cacti at housewares stores are exactly the types of things I cannot resist buying, ever. If you're a new reader... well, now you know.
On that note, I proudly present "Cact-ikea," which is what I am naming my most recent cactus acquisition. I chose it because, of the ones they had available, it looked the least like anything I owned already.
The only drawback to buying a cactus at a place like this is the fact that its exact species generally isn't labeled anywhere... unless I am to believe that "Cactus Assorted" is the scientific name, which of course I don't, because I'm joking.Â
I would like to point out that just as "not actual size" was necessary for the hotdog, "Only for decoration, not suitable for cosumption [sic]" is necessary for the cactus. Only while typing up this article did I realize that "consumption" is actually misspelled, unless that's supposed to indicate that you can't "cosumpt" the cactus and that I simply don't understand what that fake word means. Either way, I can't imagine why anybody would bypass IKEA's heavenly cafeteria selections only to run downstairs and chomp on a cactus.Â
It is very possible that Cact-ikea came with a free spider. I haven't seen him yet, but I will name him "Jerry."Â
Cact-ikea is now making friends with the rest of my cacti and succulents on the indoor plant rack. I plan to do an update on all of them in the next couple days, time allowing. In the meantime, if any reader knows what kind of cactus this actually is, I would love to know!