#cact-ikea

5+ years of Cact-Ikea! 

In September 2012, I went to IKEA and bought a little barrel cactus. After many years of looking sad on a dim shelf, this determined succulent has been enjoying its residency on a window sill since April. 

We’ve added a new friend, too!  All the way to the right is Cact-Ikea Jr. As you may have guessed, It is difficult for me to go to IKEA and leave without a cactus.

As I've previously mentioned, I've been crazy busy lately. I won't bore you with the long list of other things I've been up to in its entirety, but I will say that I've been running a lot of errands. I've also been running a lot of fake errands, which are only errands in the sense that I'm going to a place to look for stuff... they are not real errands because once I get there, there's nothing that I actually need. 

One of the best possible fake errand places to go is IKEA.

I love everything about IKEA. I know that you can pretty easily bypass the preset path they've carved out for everyone to funnel through, but I never would. I want to see everything, from the furniture to the light fixtures to the warehouse, and then I want to top it off with a big plate of Swedish meatballs and gravy. 

On one of my most recent trips to IKEA I noticed two things:  

That they awesomely felt like they had to point out that the bus-sized hot dog on this banner was "not actual size."  

That right before you walk into the warehouse they have an area in which they sell real plants. Real cheap plants.

Among these cheap plants was a flat of random cacti for $2.99 apiece. If you're a regular reader, you'll know that cheap cacti at housewares stores are exactly the types of things I cannot resist buying, ever. If you're a new reader... well, now you know.

On that note, I proudly present "Cact-ikea," which is what I am naming my most recent cactus acquisition. I chose it because, of the ones they had available, it looked the least like anything I owned already.

The only drawback to buying a cactus at a place like this is the fact that its exact species generally isn't labeled anywhere... unless I am to believe that "Cactus Assorted" is the scientific name, which of course I don't, because I'm joking. 

I would like to point out that just as "not actual size" was necessary for the hotdog, "Only for decoration, not suitable for cosumption [sic]" is necessary for the cactus. Only while typing up this article did I realize that "consumption" is actually misspelled, unless that's supposed to indicate that you can't "cosumpt" the cactus and that I simply don't understand what that fake word means. Either way, I can't imagine why anybody would bypass IKEA's heavenly cafeteria selections only to run downstairs and chomp on a cactus. 

It is very possible that Cact-ikea came with a free spider. I haven't seen him yet, but I will name him "Jerry."