#c:jd

Best Team Overall:

Task A: Ryan Sterling & Joseph Duval

Reward: 500 Rosies each + $300 Gift Certificate each to spend on here.

Definitely not bad at all.

Our exam consisted of transporting a moderately heavy box to the museum by 6pm. Along the way we were accosted by three men who threatened us with the intention of taking our box, something neither of us were willing to give up very easily. In order to protect what we were tasked with delivering we evaded the men, who gave chase, but were eventually lost due to some clever maneuvering. Luckily we were able to deliver the box in time, which although in retrospect wasn't the true point of the exam, did turn out to be a point of pride for us.

Walking into this exam neither of us knew what to expect, but in coming out of it we've learned several things about each other and about ourselves, both in small personal ways to a broader scope. Here are a few of our key learnings.

First and foremost was trust. Both of us are lucky in that we already had a relationship with each other going into this exam. That provided us with a basis of trust and respect for each other before ever facing any sort of controversy. However, we discovered that it's easy to trust someone in relatively safe day to day to day life. It's another matter entirely when you find yourself in a dangerous predicament in an unpredictable circumstance. Often in our relationship we have to trust each other to communicate openly so that our scenes are always safe and consensual, and so we can personally grow together. It's always been a vital part of our dynamic together, but we found it even more critical during the exam.

Joey, as the submissive, is used to putting his trust in his Dominant in order to hand over control of his mind and body. However, these instances have always been a very personal one on one experience between the both of us. In that car with three large men threatening us, the trust given was even greater. Ryan had no control over the three men, and could not control the degree to which things would escalate. I had to trust that he would still make the right call regardless of the things that were out of his control. Even when what he did seemed risky, I had to trust that he was looking out for our best interest and wouldn't do something that would put our lives in danger.

Ryan, as a Dominant, is used to being in control over an entire situation. When we play out scenes, I have full control over what happens, and can stop it at any time if I think things have gone too far. There wasn't any stopping this. It was a matter of life or death that didn't contain an off switch. Of course that meant I had to trust Joey, to look after our box and to follow my commands to the letter. More than that I had to trust myself and my instinct to be right. I didn't believe the men would truly hurt us and in the end they didn't. I understand logic and reasoning, but there's something intuitive in dealing with people that I had to understand.

That easily brings us into the next thing we learned, responsibility and protecting what's yours. Between the two of us, Joey has always been the most responsible. Not to say Ryan isn't, but being class vice-president on top of commitments to soccer and art club, and social and personal obligations prove that he's able to adequately balance his responsibilities while still being able to provide each of them the level of commitment and care they deserve. Ryan, on the other hand, hasn't taken on as much but still dedicates care and time to what he has. That being said, as the events of the exam unfolded, we both had to step up and take responsibility in ways we weren't the most familiar with.

Ryan, as the Dominant, naturally took charge of the situation, which was common for me. Even more so, I had to take care of my submissive, again something I know how to do quite well, just never in this manner. Normally, when I read my submissive to see how he is coping, I look for signs of physical and emotional distress, then think of ways to alleviate it. In this situation I knew he was distressed due to fear and anxiety built around what was happening. I had to focus on keeping him calm and safe, however in trying to keep him safe I had to divide my attention instead of focusing it entirely on him as I was used to. I was focused on the road, the car, the men following us, and the package we were delivering, all of which were vital to me at the time. None more so than the submissive in my passenger seat. There was nothing more precious to me in that moment than my submissive and it was that sense of responsibility and protection over him that motivated me as I prioritized and multitasked during our escape.

Joey, as the submissive, had to take a step back and focus on what Ryan could not. In this situation, my focus was on protecting the box as Ryan maneuvered us through a maze of streets and highways. It was also on keeping myself in check, focusing on staying calm and composed so that I would be a help and not a deterrent to my Dominant. Despite being afraid of what was happening, I stepped up so that I could stay calm, protect the package, and help my Dominant navigate the streets as we escaped the men chasing us. Instead of spreading myself thin to manage many things, it was about focus, drawing myself in so that I could be the most useful.

Finally, we both also learned about communication and obedience. As mentioned earlier, we both do a fair share of communicating with each other. This communication has usually been in the form of free and open discussion, something we both sit down and talk through so that we can understand each other fully. However, we learned that not all communication is that easy. In the midst of a fast paced crisis like the one we were facing, we didn't have time to sit and talk through a plan. Everything happened in quick succession, which gave us little time to talk to each other. While this does go back to trust, as he had to trust the other to do the right thing and stay calm, it did not mean there was no effort put forth to get to that place.

Ryan, as the Dominant, had to take control of the situation and trust in Joey, but I also had to communicate with him. This went beyond giving him orders, which I did issue to keep both of us on task during a high pressure situation. This also meant calming him down, listening to him when he had something to say, and explaining to him what I needed him to do. All of this having to be done quickly and effectively due to our precarious situation. It meant choosing my words carefully, expressing myself clearly and doing so in a limited amount of time while remaining calm and collected myself so as not to startle my submissive or lose control of the situation. It was a task that required I think on my feet, but also was contingent on the understanding Joey and I already have with each other. As mentioned before, we're lucky in that we know each other and are used to speaking with each other. It made it easier to communicate in a tricky situation without getting caught in misunderstandings which would have been critically detrimental in the situation.

Joey, as the submissive, had to practice obedience. Tying hand in hand with trust and responsibility over myself, I also had to be incredibly obedient for my Dominant.  That meant following orders without question, but also listening to everything Ryan said and anticipating what he would need. It meant paying attention to my Dominant carefully and being able to read his verbal and physical cues and act accordingly to what he wanted. No more, no less, because while I couldn't read his mind I had to trust he knew what he was doing and follow him to the letter. While of course this was scary, it was something I knew I could do and did do, never once doubting my Dominant or myself, and rightfully so.