A Motherfucking Beast

“Daredevil ways? Or do I even want to know?” Ryder asked with a raised brow. “And I don’t even know who that is to tell, but I’m honored to be your second.”

“Yeah, doing things that an injured woman or even now a pregnant woman shouldn’t be doing. I can’t even begin to think up all the things she would try.” Keanu chuckled. “I hope it stays that way otherwise she might try to move some mice into your home.” 

“I’m always thinking something dirty. That’s not the point. And because you said like that? Dad, it’s the 21st century. If you only held a girl’s hand say that, cause if not people are going to read into it. Especially your gutter living son. And I wouldn’t blame you if you did. Cheat on Michaela with mom. Not with Sabrina. That would be… so wrong on so many levels…” Hale cringed at the thought. “Oh… I don’t think…” He cut himself off. “I don’t think I’d be as lucky.” Or Sarah as forgiving for what he put her through and then their child through, because as much as boy needed his father, a girl needed her mother. “He does you know… Need you,” Hale said, not being able to bring himself to meet his father’s gaze as he told the other, “I know you don’t want to hear it, but I think I got by okay with a mom, but if I… if I didn’t have you,” He choked up. “Dad, I wouldn’t be here. As much of a pain in the ass I am, and I know I am, I need you.” When his old man told him that his mom had never let him wallow, he let out a small smile that dissipated the moment his dad said it. She wanted me to tell you that she loves you and SJ. “Dad…” Hale trailed off once more, shaking his head back and forth as he stood up from the seat, beginning to pace back and forth. “Dad… I know you want to tell me about her and I’m sure Sarah Jane will love to hear every detail. But, I… I can’t… I’m sorry. I… I don’t want to hear how great she was. Not when I’m the reason she’s not here.”

“I should have known. It’s one of the main reasons why I make an active effort to never read your mind. But no. We just held hands. I wouldn’t...I couldn’t. Even if it was Kala back in her body.” Keanu looked over at him when he said that he wouldn’t be so lucky. “To be honest, I was worried that she’d be mad. That she wouldn’t be forgiving. Because you’re head strong like her. I’m always the calm, forgiving one. She was the argumentative, stubborn one. So...it was a fifty/fifty chance that I wouldn’t be this lucky.” Keanu smiled when he said that he needed him. “Just as much as you need me, I need you. This probably sounds lame, but other than Myki, you were practically my best friend.” Hale had made life endurable, even the tough parts. He looked at him with pride no matter what, and man did he always brag on him every chance he got. The faerie realm knew when Hale was walking the moment he took his first step. “Hale,” Keanu said quietly, “You’re not the reason she’s not here. Poor hygiene and lack of medical advancement is why she’s not here.” If he was being honest with himself, Hale saved Kala. Not being able to conceive took a toll on them both, and Kala not having children in a time where that was one of the things expected of a woman didn’t bode well for her mentally. 

“Welp, you should have specified then,” Gigi chuckled. “Huh. I really should pay attention more. Is it bad that I just assumed I was your only friend? And oh yeah… I forgot you’ve recently obtained a little alien of your own. I guess a congratulations is in order. I know how worried you were about how it would turn out. But, please tell me the little tatter tot’s snarky like your other ones? And probably. For an impulsive person, I tend to overthink a lot of things. But,” Gigi paused. Her forehead scrunching ever so slightly as she tried to wrap her mind around it. “How do you know that? I mean I believe you. I guess I’m just jealous of how certain you are. Luna is like that too and I appreciate it. I just don’t know why I can’t be that certain too? I guess it just doesn’t seem logical to me? To guarantee someone a future when I don’t know what the future holds? It just seems like there are too many unknown variables at play to guarantee someone a forever even if you want it?”

“Not really. I don’t talk about having friends, that aren’t my wife. I mean, I assume you have quite a few other friends than me.” Keanu chuckled. “A little alien of my own. Julie isn’t an alien. She’s a beautiful faerie. It’s took early to tell, but I’ve got a feeling she’s going to be just as snarky. I have a type. And twice now I’ve procreated with a snarky woman. So unless she turns out as sweet as ever like, me that I’m sure she’s going to be just like her mom.” Keanu frowned. “How do I know what? That we’d do anything for each other? Because when I think about my life, I can’t imagine it without these people, you included, in it. And I know that I’d do anything to hold on to that.” Keanu took his explanation with a logical approach, not liken it to the emotions he felt, hoping that it helped Gigi understand how he was so sure. “It’s not so much a guarantee of a future, but more so a hope. Wishful thinking that you hold on to. It’s more so when I look at life, at the current I plan to spend the rest of it loving these people. Being there for them. We plan for the future as if it will happen. The variables don’t matter. That’s just like saying tomorrow I’m going to have pizza. By your logic that there are too many unknown variables. How can I guarantee that I’m going to have pizza? It’s blind faith. Just like you plan for tomorrow you’re going to work. You don’t necessarily know that you are going to make it there. You don’t even know if you’ll even wake up to see a tomorrow. It’s what you know and expect so it’s what you plan for. That’s what promising forever is like. You know it, you plan for it. Doesn’t matter if it’s in the unknown. The next ten minutes are unknown but still you plan, you expect.” 

“What? They’re all still breathing for the most part,” Chloe mumbled under her breath, taking a step to the side in a poor attempt to hide the man wheezing on the floor beside them. 

“I hope you’re right about that.” Though as he looked down at them, their breathing seemed fine and they were simply unconscious.  “You do know that if one of these men is in need of care, I have to as a doctor who swore oath care for them, right?” he pointed out. 

“Because rompers aren’t new? They’ve been around for a hot minute now. And male rompers are practically overalls. I mean you do know what overalls are, right?” Lily asked with a raised brow. “Hold up. Spartan Monterey?” Lily asked with a raised brow, before bursting into laughter. “What are you talking about, Spartan? That sounds super ‘sexy’” She teased, not being able to hide her smile as she laughed even harder.

“Yes I know what overalls are. I don’t think I’ve ever worn them, but I’m aware of their existence and know what they are.” Keanu rolled his eyes when Lily burst into laughter. “See you say that and yet you’re laughing. So I’ll pass on that stripper name for my alter ego.”

“That’s quite disappointing actually, I like being surprised.” Mary sighed, finishing up her email and sliding her phone into the pocket of her skirt. “It’s said that drama always makes the best entertainment and I can say that much is true. I’m your new executive producer, I know you from somewhere.” She hummed, resting a finger on her chin.

“Trust me, you’ll still be very surprised by everything that happens here. You expect disaster, but you never know what kind you’ll get. And on some occasions, you actually get no disaster and some semblance of fun.” Keanu’s brow rose when she said that she knew him from somewhere. “Well...I’m a doctor here on set, that also frequents the faerie realm, and tends to unlock my inner stripper when I’ve had too much to drink. I’d like to hope it was in a professional capacity and maybe not a drunken hook up or strip tease moment,” Keanu said trying to think back to how they could have encountered. “Which my apologies for not remembering that this may not be our first encounter.” 

“I mean technically you gave yourself the best birthday gift seeing that I didn’t exactly knock up myself. But, you know you’re right. It was all me. I’m a rockstar,” Michaela teased. Her eyes widening as she looked up to see his shirtless torso. “And you know that you can’t walk in a room looking like that unless you want me to accidentally drop Jules in a heat of passion,” She said, her eyes trailing him up and down as she did. “Definitely not sexy. But, I appreciate the thought. Post-pregnancy and nursing is really gross isn’t it?” She frowned making a face at the thought. “I mean don’t get me wrong, it’s a lot better with modern day inventions. like nursing pads. But, you would have thought they’d figure out a way to make it at least a little more glamorous over the past three hundred years… And thank you. You really are the best husband, you know that? Even though wait- does this mean I have to stop wearing your old concert tees? Because if so, I take it back,” She joked some more, not being able to hide her bright smile as she looked over at him.”Okay. I’d like that. But, are you sure you don’t want to do our crazy birthday tradition and go skinny dipping in some fountain or dance on top of a bar table or something? Because if you do, I can rally? I just feel bad. I mean your birthday has notoriously been the one day a year I get you completely to myself. Where we get to kick back and let loose and act like how I’d imagine rambunctious teenagers or embarrassing parents trying to relive their glory days would be and I know things are different now that we’re married and I technically get you everyday out of the week, but are you sure you don’t feel like you’re missing out on a personal Bon Jovi concert or something?”

“Not help all, you. Actually, it was your idea that we do the whole potions thing. So technically without that moment we’d not be here with the most beautiful faerie baby. Of course, we probably should never tell the ‘you were conceived accidentally when your mom suggested we mix and match potions story to Julie.” Keanu laughed quietly trying not to wake their daughter at her words. “Don’t drop the baby but...I definitely still want that heat of passion.” He shook his head at her question. “I wouldn’t say gross. I’d say necessary for both mom and baby. I don’t think there’s much they can do about the basic concept of it. You were taking my Tees before this so why would that stop you now? Besides you look a lot sexier in them than I do. It was like they were made to be worn by you.” His features transformed into a bright smile. “I think, we can get wild by skinning dipping between the sheets in our bed. We can relive our glory days anytime and go pretend to be rambunctious teenagers. But after you’ve gotten some rest. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on a single thing. I’ve got the most beautiful girl known to man, our baby is actually asleep and club bed is always open.” 

“No. That’s more than enough. Thank you. You didn’t happen to catch what they looked like did you? Any discernible features? No worries if you hadn’t. But, every lead helps, you know?” Ryder told Keanu calmly as he pulled out a walkie talkie from his back pocket, alerting the other officers on duty to keep on the look out. They already had every possible exit strategy planned out and were more than prepared to handle a potential attack. But, it didn’t stop Ryder’s brow from furrowing ever so slightly as his eyes darted across the room.

“I wish I could have gotten more. Immediately I started to look out and they were wearing dark colors. No faces. I tried to chase down the minds but it was pretty much a dead end. Whoever it was didn’t stay in the area long enough, or they intended to plant the seed and leave. Male voice. Now that I think of it. I wish I had more than dark colored clothing, male. Seems like I’m giving you straws when people’s lives are at stake.” 

“I don’t know. Self deprecating? Brooding? But, not closed off. I mean don’t get me wrong, I find your son to be very amusing. Great company to have at a party, but in my experience, that boy of yours seems to be all about letting people in. At least physically. And Astrid and Damien? Why?” She asked, wondering if she was missing something. “Veronica… who? And okay. I’ll keep that in mind. So, can I just pop by unannounced or are these planned sort of get togethers? And Oh! no. I meant that I’ve been in their heads too. I know you don’t poke around in your girlfriend’s head, but that’s just you. And I mean it’s not that simple, because just someone believes something doesn’t mean it’s always true. I mean I know they love me, but isn’t love subjective? And just because someone loves someone, doesn’t mean they consider that person to be family, right? And what does family even mean anyhow other than a group of people related to one another by blood or marriage? And okay. But… what does that mean?” She asked innocently.

“When I say closed off, I meant it in the sense of mentally not physically. My son...often is very open physically.” Which was something he didn’t want to talk about and/or remember. “Well Astrid is one of my best friends, and Damien is her boyfriend. Veronica, or rather she goes by Roni is the choreographer on set. Hale’s girlfriend. You can show up unannounced, you might only get me, Myki and Julie some nights but others you might get a full house.” Keanu shrugged. “I think you’re overthinking this. We’re a group of people who care about each other and love each other and would pretty much do anything for each other. We don’t need blood ties though some of us have them or marriage to be family. That means that You, Georgie, are someone that I care about and love, and that I’ll always be there for as long as I exist on this earth. Whatever you need, whenever you need it, I’m there for you,” he answered honestly. 

“And you’re supposed to be in your 400s? It’s a jumpsuit or playsuit? You know when pants and shirt are one. What mailmen wear,” She explained, giggling under her breath at his question. “Well, shucks. You’re not so bad yourself, Montague. And oh! I can help with that. Quick- what is the name of your first pet and the name of the street you grew up on?”

“So why would a 400 year old man know what a Romper is?” He nodded. “Ah...people wear those? Wow. Okay. Spartan Monterey. I hope that’s not supposed to be my name because...that doesn’t sound sexy at all.” 

“I have to admit this entire town seems out of the ordinary, Mr. Montague. I’ve never been called to a set that recently almost had a Les Mis level revolt happen in it. Can’t say I’m overly a fan because it means more cleanup for me.” Mary sighed, barely glancing up from her phone. She’d heard stories about this place and so far it was completely living up to its reputation.

“I hate to break it to you, but this place lives up to all the hype, I can assure you. It’s most definitely lives up to everything that has happened here. But I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. Keeps it exciting around here, and at times business is booming for me.” His brow rose at her statement about cleanup. “What exactly do you do around here?” 

“Nothing out of the ordinary as of yet, but if you’ve seen any suspicious activity, then we should definitely check it out. Especially given the track record this studio seems to have at events like this…”

“So I haven’t seen anything suspicious, but when I was in the crowd just making my way to my seat, I heard some chatter about some kind of attack happening on this side. I wish I could be more specific, but that’s just all I picked up. And I tried to follow the mind, but there are too many people in here. to just hone in on one person’s thoughts so clearly.”

“Sure, you did. I mean I’m pretty much as Street Rat as they come and you took me in. You should have known, I’d bring friends,” She joked. “And I don’t know. I’ve been running from it for the past how many years and it hasn’t caught up with me yet?” Astrid said, giving Key a small shrug, despite knowing what he meant. “I know you have. I may not have known you for 400 years, but doesn’t mean I don’t know you. And it doesn’t mean I didn’t noticed when you finally felt like you could take off the ring you used to wear around your neck. But, I never asked about because… I think there are just somethings that are almost impossible to say out loud or maybe unnecessary? Like with my shit, I just… I wouldn’t even know what words to use if I tried? You’re a pro keeping things inside and I’m a pro at getting lost at the bottom of a bottle. It’s why we work.”

“Well, first off you’re not a street rat. And second, you comfort me. I’ve always been drawn to smart, kick-ass, sweet strong women. Hell you inspire me to keep going every day. A hundred-plus years without Kala, each day seemed more and more empty. But I have a bright spot named Astrid making me laugh and giving me a kick in the ass when I need it. So, of course, I merged you right on into my life and my family. And I’d do it all again any day of the week.” He nodded when she mentioned his ring. I’ve been a man of few words for so long. So I get it. Not talking, not knowing what to say. I hear so much of what people don’t say every day that at some point I just acclimated to Everything I could possibly say turning into silence.” He chuckled a little. “You know Hale would probably have a lot to say about us.” 

“I mean isn’t that essentially what a diaper bag is? A large purse to hold your diapers? But, then again it is cute and I don’t even want to know how diapers were like 74 years ago,” Kenzi grimaced at the thought. “And aww. Cute. You’d like her to wear it all the time then. How about maybe a Tiffany bracelet or some gold necklace with a dainty charm? Girls typically tend to like that sort of thing and sure. And sure, why not? I like tech and, I feel like out of anyone I know, you seem like the type who should own clapping lights. And good to know. I mean it’s a shame for the world and your wife. But, good to know. And you say that, but I highly doubt it, Mr. Get a Few Drinks in You and You End Up Doing a Full Strip Routine,” She pointed out with a knowing smirk. 

“Actually, the words first prefolded diaper came out around that time. The 50s. But it was two pieces, there was a cloth pad that went in, and you’d just dump the pad out. It was better than the fully cloth diaper. But also it wasn’t as easy as what we have now.” The perk of living as long as he had was that he’d gotten to see how things evolved and became more efficient. “Sure that all sounds pretty good.” Keanu grinned but frowned. “Why me? Do I fit the demographic for clap on lights? The stripping is about the only thing that’s exciting. But that’s only a short-lived excitement.”