The subject was "A Confession of Cruelty". Most people wrote about killing pets.
-I have to tell you something.
-Okay.
-Something serious.
-Okay.
-Something that might make you hate me.
-Just shut up and tell me already.
-Forgive me, Father for I have sinned. It has been eight years since my last confession.
-Very funny, jackass. Iâm not a priest. Besides, they donât even do that anymore.
-They donât?
-No. They just sit in a room with you and ask you what you did. Then they tell you to say some prayers and that God forgives you and loves you and try not to do it again. They donât even have the booths with the screens anymore.
-Oh. Thatâs kinda lame.
-I know, right? So anyway, whatâd you do?
-I ran over my neighbourâs cat last night.
-You what?
-With my car.
-No shit, with your car. Is it dead?
-I hope so. That little bugger keeps pissing on my flowerbed.
-YouâWait. Did you run it over on purpose?
-Of course not! It was an accident. What do you take me for?
-A cat murderer, obviously. Did you tell them yet?
-No.
-Are you going to tell them?
-I reported it to the ASPCA.
-Thatâs not an answer.
-Look, it was an accident, okay? I told them where it was and I didnât know if it had a collar because I was driving to the hospital and couldnât stop.
-You lied to the ASPCA? Youâre a terrible person, you lying cat-killer!
-I didnât lie. I actually did go to the hospital. I just wanted a lead-in so the fact that I got into a fight and needed stitches wouldnât piss you off as much.














