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butch vampyres do it better 🦇✨
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Excerpt from Minnie Bruce Pratt's "All The Women Caught in Flaring Light"
Where's all the love for subby butches? It's always "let them destroy me with their strap" and never "let me strap them til they cry." Cowards, butch subs will stick their tongue out and bark if you ask us to, you just gotta ask. Here's to all the butch subs and switches who don't wanna be firm all the time
Sometimes I fucking hate the internet. And I hate online forums being chock full of white people. I always feel “not lesbian enough” because im not fem4fem, because shego or that woman from Hercules or daphne weren’t my childhood cartoon crushes. And I have to actively remind myself that its long persisting anti butch propoganda presenting itself in a modern setting. But god ducking damn it, it makes living with lesbianism so hard. Youre already surrounded by people who expect you to get married to a man, who scoff at the concept of loving a woman, who call you quirky and attention seeking and are you reaaallllyyy gay? for dating a butch and then you have all this shit online too?! Where does it end?
Sorry I didnt mean to spiral into a rant, this was supposed to be a well thought out food for thought type ask but-
No I feel this SO hard. I like regularly cry for my confused childhood self, how long it took me to embrace butchness even though I was always a tomboy kid who's early crushes were all masculine women. It was just SO demonized and pathologized in the 2000s especially, but it's honestly hardly better now?
I keep seeing clips and gifs from the new League of the Own show and getting choked up by how many unapolgetically butch women there appear to be. I just find 90% of lesbian media really isolating as a butch attracted to other butches (I'm attracted to femmes as well but like, female masculinity is deeply, deeply, viscerally important and sexy and essential to my identity AND attraction), because SO few of the women depicted in contemporary queer media are butch. Let alone like, fat butches. And if they do exist, they're treated as the buts of jokes and certainly not presented as sexy (Suzy from Marvelous Ms. Maisel, Big Boo from OITNB). In fact it' common for butch characters to be treated as canonically predatory in lesbian media from the 2000s, and now they're just...hardly in things at all. It's fucking depressing and makes you feel insane, huh? I certainly feel insane. I hardly watch lesbian movies after the 90s for this reason.
Anyway, for the sake of solidarity from one butch to another, my first ever sex dream when I was like seven was about Mama Fratelli from the Goonies. My first big crushes before I even knew what crushes WERE were Lori Beth Denberg and Amanda Bynes on figure it out, Rosie O Donnel, and Whoopi Goldberg. And then, later, when I was a bit older, Lt. Vasquez from Aliens.
I often wonder how much sooner I would have found self love and embodiment and security in my beliefs and appearance if I had gotten to see more fat butch women depicted kindly on TV. I distinctly remember how magical it felt to see them in real life, the thrum of recognition in my body.
Gay media and main gay culture still has a long way to go in regards to this subject imo. I think sexism and the general hatred/punishment of women who do not conform to beauty standards/who are doing womanhood "wrong" has actually gotten worse and more acute in the last few years. I've certainly observed it, anyway.
But anyway! You're not alone. You're allowed to be angry. But beautiful butch women are out here living our lives, strong and resilient and true and unkillably powerful. Here's a moodboard of 90s Phoenix crushes to help you feel better :)
Im realizing Figure it Out might have been so formative not because these women are actually gnc in any observable or intentional way, but because they wore jumpsuits? Like was just so excited to see girls in jumpsuits with simple hairstyles and no make up that this stirred something in me? It was so rare at the time! Im sure the slime didn't help but yeah, this show was BIG for me realizing I was gay.
British poet Joelle Taylor, winner of this year's prestigious T.S. Eliot prize for a collection exploring lesbian identity, says it is time
But when asked about the representation of butch lesbians in the mainstream media, Taylor was scathing.
“What representation? I’m sorry, I don’t see any. It’s literally, absolutely nowhere,” she said.
[...]
“It’s a call really to all butch women, trans mascs, non-binary, gender non-conforming, funny-looking men, funny-looking women,” she said. “The butch identity, I feel, is resurfacing.”
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im just gonna start assuming people who use the lesbian flag upside down just hate gnc lesbians/butches bc thats the whole point of the orange being on top. in emilys first ever post w/ the lesbian flag they literally said “orange on top, just to shake things up and to subvert the idea that femininity should come first.” why would you flip the one which has meaning to being on top but not do the same for other flags that dont really need the same thing? me thinks there might be some ulterior motives
i think ive already sent u a message like this before but i just wanted to let u know again how thankful i am to have found u and ayo bc i had reservations for a long time abt like.... asserting my gender & preferred pronouns n u guys have given me like. a visible cue that it's ok if that makes sense?? i decided to try out he/him finally and everyone's been so nice ❤️
I am so happy for you!! I am honored to hear that I helped you feel safe enough to do so. Ayo is really great and definitely helped/helps me to feel safe and like I can try anything out in regards to gender/presentation. I showed him this (he's standing right next to me,lol) and he is honored as well. You're the sweetest and I'm glad to know you. If you ever need to talk, you know where to find me!
“A rather masculine lesbian friend of mine, who does not identify as butch but, as she puts it, always knew she was gay, teased me one day, “If you are so butch, where is your tool belt?” When I have practical problems in my Florida home, I call her. In fact, she built the desk on which I am writing. But her father was a mechanic while mine was a psychologist who never wore a tool belt or fixed anything. Postmodern butch is not necessarily about tool belts or who is more dominant in a relationship; it is not even about what you do in bed (or elsewhere). It is about a gender expression that combines some version of the masculinity that you saw around you as a child with same- sex desire.”
Esther Newton, My Butch Career
