hello I need to talk to someone who also knows about Murderbot about this or I will. explode. I was rereading part of the end of Book 1 and I was floored by the sheer amount of contact that PresAux was worldlessly assuming they could give Murderbot. Someone holds its hand in the shuttle while it's cycling between offline and barely aware. It wakes up in Port FreeCommerce and Ratthi takes it by the arm. Pin-Lee also takes its other arm not long after. Arada pats it on the shoulder. It pushes back against none of this, but knowing how it is (and how PresAux+Pin-Lee are) about contact, holy shit does this add even more to why it runs. Sure, yeah, they're just trying their best, but they never once ask if any of that is okay - and this is all just after Murderbot nearly gives its life to protect Mensah and admits in narration that it doesn't want to be moved from where it is because it hurts (obviously its talking about injury, but that feels fitting in a really depressing way). It's a far cry from post-book-4 PresAux's treatment of Murderbot's personal space, and by extension, its bodily autonomy
This poor anon has been in my inbox for a week and is right and they should say it!
Yes! It notes all these moments of casual contact, except they're not casual to it because it notes them. It specifically points them out in the text.
We as readers are aware of just how aware SecUnit is of people touching it! And it has lots and lots of feelings and thoughts about even accidental touches, its always cataloging them as good/bad/not/terrible/analysing the sensation of hair touching its neck during a rescue to a high degree. It is so very aware of when it is being touched and later establishes boundaries in contracts specifically to avoid being touched.
But they don't even think of it, it doesn't occur to them. They are well intention but they are still taking its autonomy away from it in constant small ways, and every single way matters!
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I wasn't gonna batman post since my blog is mostly asoiaf oc focused but like its also my blog and I hate separating my interests. SO ANYWAY
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRUCE WAYNE!!
you guys don't know but I'm the biggest lover of Batman but specifically the one from "the batman (2022)" that's #myman
my self ship with him goes back LONG (like 4 years almost). I have a munch of art of us and even a whole dedicated table of batman merch but that's neither here nor there.
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â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
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In exchange for this lovely piece of art for OC Kiss Week, I wrote @sirconnie a story featuring our Hawkes, Persephone and Filia, that ended up much longer than I initially planned lol
But it was fun and gave me a chance to explore what Filia would be doing if she wasnât âHawke.â
Persephone felt bad for the poor man: A Lord with no fortune or money to speak of still desperate to keep up with the âbestâ of them.
She watched as he made his way through the crowded ballroom, slithering almost, with all the peculiarities of a desperate, hungry, Â gluttonous snake.
He seemed...suspicious, or perhaps worried, and that, in turn, worried her; Every few moments he tugged at the jewel hanging loosely from his collar and touched the upper pocket of his breast, an outward sign of clear anxiety.
Plus he eyeing the despair ham: A sign of human desperation in and of itself.
Other nobles, those with reason to be happy, whirled around the room in a dizzying array; laughing, drinking, and sneaking down the hallways.
But most importantly, and perhaps most frustratingly, they indulged themselves with endless gossip.
âHave you seen?â They snickered. âHave you heard?â
Each privy to the scandals of the city yet still hungry for more.
She didnât like this, Persephone, these werenât the type of secrets traded betweens lovers or shared amongst a group of friends--these words were wielded like weapons, like knives passed between bodies in the darkness of the night.
And they werenât as above it all as theyâd like to think (had they not each, at some point or another, required her assistance for something potentially life ruining?) but for her Mother, who did enjoy these extravagant parties, sheâd smile, cringe (on the inside of course,) and bare it.
Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, there was something to take her attention from social niceties. Or rather someone.
Glancing over the throng of nobles surrounding her in a circle, Persephone found the Poor Nobleman again, skirting cautiously along the outer edges of the party as though he did not want to be seen.
[Keep Reading!]
It was difficult to move in these dresses her Mother seemed to conjure up from nothing, it was hard to fight in blue silk and lace, Â but perhaps a simple conversation would calm the man--stop him from doing anything...unsavory.
Suddenly he looked up at her, however, but quickly turned away with a huff and a surprised looking face.
Odd. He couldnât have possibly been looking at her, could he?
Curious, she followed his retracted gaze to a group laughing almost 10 steps away.
Most of the nobles were indistinguishable; like a bright, venomous, multi-headed beast that laughed and moved and seemed to breathe together.
Had it not been for the color of their clothing, Persephone could have sworn they were all the same.
One, however, stood differently: Â taller (though still not as tall as she,) darker, more familiar than the rest.
Well, almost familiar--she couldnât claim to know the woman well, if at all, outside of the occasional run-in at a party.
She knew her name, Filia--or thatâs what she told her when they met anyway, back when they first met eyeâs across the room and smiled.
It took several more meetings, however, and an attack by hired men for them to actually speak.
â...I've been searching for someone.â She admitted, someone who owed someone something (she was fuzzy on the details) but didnât want to pay. âA terribly Orlesian way to go about things I know, but this is the only place I knew heâd be. Nobles never like missing out on a good party.â She smiled, taking the situation in stride as though it was little more than an inconvenience to her day.
âThanks for the backup.â
âYouâre welcome.â It was nothing really. She saw the suspicious men in red follow her out to the balcony, each grinning and clutching knives--of course she had to help. Had she not, an unbearable guilt would have tugged away at her insides.
Nevertheless, Persephone wasnât sure Filia needed help after arriving at the scene of the would-be crime--a sword in hand, she struck the men down as if they were nothing.
But a bit of magic always helped, especially with the healing.
Their meetings were a little quieter after that, a little less exciting, though the premise was always the same:
She was looking for someone who owed her something, the nature of which she couldnât quite say.
And tonight was no exception.
The Poor Nobleman, she figured, owed Filia something. (Poor Persephone was starting to wonder what exactly the other woman did for a living. A bounty hunter? Hired muscle? A bondsman for the city?)
Regardless, Filia looked back at her as though she sensed her watching and then smiled, the golds of her eyes brightening with a sort of pleasant surprise before grinning, a saucy expression overtook her face and was punctuated by a wink that stirred butterflies that rose and fluttered somewhere beneath Persephone's cheeks.
But she returned the smile and the look in kind--this part wasnât new to their meetings either.
âHeâs been disowned by his family in Antiva and Orlais. There can be no other explanation.â
She lost track of the conversation, so the words of the Nobles stopped making sense. But it was nothing but more idle chatter--just the same as always.
As the night progressed, the crowd began dispersing to and from the food spread along the tables--though 'food' was a subjective label.
âAnd so we meet again.â Filia greeted, casually strolling to up Persephone's side and bending to adjust something in her boot. âYouâre looking extravagant this evening, I feel slightly underdressed--and this isnât me just fishing for compliments.â
âNo need,â She suppressed a breathy laugh of slight embarrassment, "You look very nice.â
âWell I am quite dashing,â she joked, but there were matters more important than that, it seemed. âIâve been looking for you--I should have figured youâd be taking a break from the festivities.â
âFestivitiesâ was one way to put it, âboring nightmareâ was another.
Persephone took a moment to regain herself by stepping from the crowd, worn and tired of their follies. It was a long, horrible, dull evening. Even the Poor Nobleman seemed to find his ease amongst 'friends.' (They didnât seem to do much talking or enjoy each others company.)
Sheâs yet to decide whether or not that was a good thing.
âYouâve been looking for me?â Part of her was glad of the reasonable company, the other was concerned. âIs there something I can help you with?â
âIn a sense.Youâve...got yourself an enemy.â
âAn enemy?â She thought back, eyebrows knitting themselves together in dismay. Like most people, Persephone had a few enemies (well, maybe more than most people.) She needed her dear acquaintance to be a little more specific. âWho?â
âWell I donât know his name,â Filia scoffed, waved her hand flippantly as though that information wasn't vital, âbut I hear someone lost all his money when a scandal involving slavery was exposed. Tragic isnât it?â
Makerâs Breath, Persephone sighed. The Poor Nobleman? She wished she could say she was surprised.
âIf heâs been dealing with Slavers he got what he deserves.â Her words were spoken with the stern dignity of a woman whose compassion did not run so deep as to forgive those who profit from slavery. How could she?
In fact, he deserved more than just the loss of his money.
âWell, he doesnât think so.â Filia leaned across the table to grab a tiny cake, âin fact he thinks the opposite is true and now...well, now heâs a dead man walking--wanted by just about everyone: The Coterie, The Red Irons...he owes a debt to just about everyone in Kirkwall so heâll be dead soon.â She shrugged and tasted the icing. âOr well...he should be. The problem now is that he has...a thing he can trade in exchange for at least one of his debts to be paid--And then he can hire some men to kill you. Blaze of glory and all that."
It always came back to unnecessary plots for revenge. Nobles were so dramatic.
âBut if we can get to him first...â
âWe can stop the trade before he hires the mercenaries.â Wait a moment. âWe? Youâre planning to help me?â
Filia nodded, unable to talk as she ate.
âYou helped me the day we met. And besides, Iâd like to get to him first.â
âDoes owe you something too?â Persephone frowned, a look of disappointment stretching across the dark features of her face. Despite her more shady tendencies, she didnât expect Filia to deal with such things.
âNot exactly. Itâs...more personal than that, and I canât get near him because of it--at least not alone.â She set down her plate. âHeâs under protection until the deal happens but, considering he wants you dead and I want him dead...I thought maybe we could help each other?" She spoke carefully, as though she didnât quite know how to ask.
She clearly doesnât ask for assistance very often, if at all.
And it wasnât a bad deal, Persephone admitted. Sheâs definitely worked on less before.
âWhenâs the deal happening? Do you know who heâll be meeting with?â Whatever her reasons, the Poor Noblemanâs deal needed to be stopped--for both her safety and those whoâd be harmed.
âI know itâll happen toward the end of the evening--you how dramatic these nobles can be and, well, she person heâs meeting doesnât seem to be here so we should wait. Two birds, one stone..."
The Poor Nobleman stood solemnly beneath the archway, looking as though these were to be his last moments alive.
The girls parted soon after their conversation, but their eyes met across the ballroom once they realized it was time.
They watched him pull something small and metal from his breast pocket and stare at it for a few long moments before turning into the hall heading to the parlor on the other side.
So they followed him--or rather they tried. The âprotectionâ Filia mentioned were the three men the Poor Nobleman was with before.
âShould we kill them?â Filia whispered, leaning up and to the right so her words could reach Persephone's ears.
âThe others come this way all the time, and theyâre just guards so they should let us through.â If they werenât recognized anyway.
âWell in that caseâŚâ Taking this as an invitation, Filia wrapped her arm around Persephoneâs, linking them together like a cozy couple with a wink. âWe should at least look convincing.â
She wouldnât disagree.
âWhatâre you two doing sneaking around here? Parties that way.â One spoke out rudely, stepping forward to block their way at the center of the long dimly lit hall.
âOh?â Filia looked toward Persephone with wide, exaggerated surprise âThank you for telling us--we didnât notice that at all!â
âWe need a few moments alone,â Persephone told them. âIt wonât take long.â
âSpeak for yourself.â Filia chuckled, but their act didnât seem to change their minds.
âNo one gets through.â Another man spoke with a thick Antivan accent. âFind somewhere else to fuck.â
âWell.â Filia released her grip. âI never!â
One of the men leaned toward the other, whispering something in his ear.
It seemed one of them was recognized.
Away from heavy crowds and prying eyes, however, the guards were done away with quickly--forced back against the walls with force magic and paralyzed.
Filia stole a sword off their bodies âjust in case.â
She also, apparently, had a knife in one of her boot and another in her sleeve.
âBut swords are better than knives any day.â
Even bad ones.
And today, Persephone thought, was a terrible day for her to have given into her motherâs whimsies. She smoothed her hand across the soft fabric of her outermost skirt. But if everything went well, and it never did, the fighting would be minimal--or they'd at least be quick about it.
Despite what she told herself, however, she found herself envying the tall boots and trousers Filia wore in preparation for the evening, knowing she'd have to fight.
âLetâs try to avoid bloodshed,â She warned Filia, who seemed to take the advice reluctantly. But these guards were just hired men and they didnât want to draw too much attention from the ongoing party.
That, and she couldnât get her dress dirty.
âIâll try.â
The hall was lined with suits of armor and cases filled with hunting trophies. They became larger, more impressive, and intimidating as they crept closer to the end of the hall.
It was quiet on the other side of the large wooden doors but they both knew there would be someone waiting.
"Ready?"
The door was locked, but Persephone forced it open with a push of her will.
And he was--The Poor Nobleman, standing in the center of the room surrounded by guards who immediately attacked.
But the women fought their way through.
Magic, taunts, and the cool strike of metal hitting metal flew like birds throughout the room--the unconscious (and hopefully not dead) bodies of henchmen lined the ground easily, falling till none but the Poor and âNobleâ one remained, hiding himself beneath a table and acting as though he couldnât be seen.
âHow valuable is this information that he needs so much protection?â Persephone wondered.
âThat depends on who youâre asking reallyâŚâ Filia squatted down beside the table and greeted the Poor Nobleman with a friendly, out of place, âhello.â
âRemember me?â
âPlease!â He spoke with an Orlesian accent, âDo not kill me!â
ââDonât kill me!â She mocked him, â You arenât in a place to be making such requests now are you?â Gone were all the charms and the good-natured humor in her voice--in its place was something that spoke of a darker intent.
âI am only trying to win back what was mine! What was taken from-!â
âThey sold slaves!â Persephone interrupted, just holding back the fire that threatened to come forth through her hands. âAnd you took that money--You donât deserve anything!â
âIâve lost everything!â
âYou havenât lost anything.â Filia threatened in a slow, deep voice. âBut you will.â She slid the knife from behind her boot and pressed it to his throat with practiced ease. âIâll even make it easy for you: Give back what you took and die painfully, or make me loot your corpse for it first.â
"Please!"
"I really did hope you wouldn't pick the looting option-"
âWait.â Persephone interrupted. âWe canât just kill him.â As much as it pained her to say. âWe should take him to the guard.â There was clearly some bad blood between them, but this matter could be reconciled without bloodshed--justice could be served without killing.
âYes!â He shouted, âYes. Please do not kill me--I can make a deal!â He fumbled around for a moment in the dark before reaching into his breast his pocket. With sweaty, shaking, hands he pushed a small metal pendant over with ease.
âThis is what you want? Take it! It is not worth my life.â
âItâs worth more than thatâ Filia took it from him--and paused a moment to make sure it was what she needed to retrieve. âDid you see what was inside?â
âI could never get it open! I swear!â
âThen you got lucky.â She stood, drawing back her knife but kicking him in the head for good measure.
âThatâs what he took from you? Your locket?â The Poor Nobleman was hysterical but Persephone lowered him down to sleep where heâd be till the City Guard arrived.
âItâs whatâs inside that matters.â She pulled a small key from the chain around her neck and used it to open the hatches with a sigh. âAnd itâs here....Lovely.â
âIs it something important?â Sheâs chased people down for many things in the past, but never a piece of decorative jewelry.
âTo someone. To me.â Filia slid it back into her pocket. âI suppose I owe you an explanation donât I?â
âThat would be nice.â
âI had to do something when I got to Kirkwall--so I started up with this guild. A few months ago they started meddling in this business with...well, I wanted out--but of course, they donât allow for that sort of thing. âIf youâre out, then youâre out.ââ She rolled her eyes. âNot only did I bring them profits, but none of them could actually manage to kill me.â
She pointed at the guards. âHowever, in the words of my soon-to-be-dead employer, âeveryone has a heart,â someone or something you can use to exploit them. And mine.â She tapped on her pocket, âCan be found with this. That poor man probably didnât even know what he had--he was probably just told to lift it off me.â
âDoes your old boss really want you back so badly?â
âShe isnât the âletting goâ type. But for now, s-my secret is safe.â
âWonât she send more men after you? Will you be alright?â
âSheâs certainly free to try.â Filia grinned, turning toward the window to look out at the moon. âAlas--Itâs getting late, and you should probably get back to the party before the City Guards come to ruin things.â
The Party, Persephone wanted to sigh. Filia was right. Her mother would be looking for her and sheâd hate the explain why she went missing.
âI left to stop a deal that would result in mercenaries coming to kill meâ was not a story she felt like spinning.
She could only be grateful she didnât ruin her dress.
âAre you coming back to the party?â The crept out the room, walking past the bodies of the first three guardsmen on the way.
Someone wouldn't be happy about this.
âI have a bed waiting for me at home--Iâd hate to keep him waiting.â
âLucky you.â
âLetâs hope...but, anywayâŚâ Filia stopped, pausing near the bright end of the hall. âThanks for the help--maybe we'll get the chance to work together again someday. Wouldnât that be exciting?â
âExcitingâ was one way to put it.
âI would like that.â Sheâd probably fit in well her other friends.
âI would too.â
Filia stepped forward, closing the gap of space between them.
âI really do mean that. I...I donât know what Iâd do if this got into the wrong hands.â
âI was happy to help you.â
She placed her hand against Persephoneâs arm and looked up at her--still not very use to doing that. Regardless she smiled, a cheeky little grin as she traced a circle on her skin with a finger.
âYou really are too kind. I canât believe the rumors were right about you.â
âThere are rumors?â She felt herself blushing. Filia chuckled.
âOf course--and now I see that theyâre true. Iâm glad.â
âAbout what?" She looked her in the eyes as they spoke, a smile of her own tugging at the corners of her cheeks.
âAbout you.â
They locked eyes, golds meeting in the darkness of the night, pressing closer by the moment before closing.
Filia stood on her toes to kiss her, Persephone leaned over.
It wasn't magic, but something of a similar effect that left their bodies tingling. They parted for a moment only to kiss again, their lips pressing together in soft, fluttering heat.
It felt like a long time coming.
âI hope that means we get to meet again.â Filia fell back to her heels.
âWell if you need anythingâŚâ
âIâll find you. And you can probably find me too--if you look.â Filia winked at her and stepped away as a moment of silence fell between them like drapes. Â
âI should get going. Iâll let the guards know what happened--wouldnât want you being blamed for the mess we left behind.â Filia turned around, heading back into the noise of the ongoing party. âTry not to get into trouble without me.â
âThat's the type of promise I doubt I could keep.â