#burramy

theyre so cute they make me sob 😢😢😢 also does anyone even remember this ship

AAAAA IM SO HAPPY RHX

SRSLY THANXK I HAVE SO MAY THOUGHST ON THEM HOLD ON

SO

Aaron and Jonathan never met in college, but rather when Aaron started studying theology under Joseph Bellamy's (Jonathan's father) in Connecticut. They possibly met during that time, but i might be misremembering.

Apparently there is a letter where Bellamy asks Burr to live together alone and unmarried, as they both resisted to such idea. "Where we are to convince mankind that the only happy life is that of a bachelor" (I stole this from a post i read a while ago. Quote is apparently from their letters so DONT trust me on this)

YOU CNANT HUST TELL YOUR FRIEND TO LIVE WITH YOU ALONE UNMARRIED ??? ANS SAY ITS??? PLATONIC???

but one of the most known letters is one that Bellamy sent burr when he had joined the army

"I was infinitely surprised to hear from you in the army. I can hardly tell you what sensations I did not feel at the time. Shall not attempt to describe them, though they deprived me of a night’s sleep” -Bellamy to Burr.

While I understand tha words were used differently THAT MF WAS THINKING OF BURR HES STRAGHT IP SWOONING OVER HIM-

MAY I ADD

"It rains, my boy, excessively. Does it not drop through your tent?" -Bellamy to Burr

(The same letter^)

also more letters:

"He is one of the cleverest fellows I have to deal with. Sensible, a person of real humor, and is an excellent judge of mankind, though he has not had the opportunity of seeing much of the world.” -Burr about Bellamy, to Matthias Odgen

" Curse on this vile distance between us. I am restless to tell you every thing;  but uncertainty whether you would ever hear it bids me be silent, till, in some future happy meeting, I may hold you to my bosom,and impart to you every emotion of my heart.” -Bellamy to Burr, 3 March 1776

Sadly, Bellamy passed away from smallpox at the age of 24. (Also he was engaged, so he probably changed his opinion) Burr was heartbroken at the notice, and wrote this to his sister:

"My faithful Correspondent, my best, my, (almost), only Friend, is, alas, no more — J. Bellamy’s Death gave me Feelings, which few Deaths can ever renew.” -Burr about Bellamy to his sister, 8 June 1777

faithful correspondent??? My (almost) only friend??? FEELINGS WHICH FEW DEATHS CAN EVER RENEW????

Late Night Dancing

„Jonathan, I’m not telling you to lie…I’m asking you to keep quiet about our past.”

Jonathan Bellamy, dressed in a sharply tailored suit, gorgeous as always, gives Aaron one of those smiles that are too smooth to be real.

“So you’re not ashamed to get publicly engaged to Alexander Hamilton of all people, but you’re embarrassed of our past? You’re ashamed of me being one of your ex-lovers while Alexander Hamilton is your fiancé?”

Aaron shakes his head. He knows what Bellamy means. Jonathan could have only made it clearer by opening his arms, as if trying to encompass the whole mansion they were sitting in. The whole empire that Jonathan Bellamy had built for himself ever since they had been at Princeton. No, Aaron was not embarrassed by the affair he’d had with Bellamy. There was no reason for that.

“That is not what I mean, John. It’s just that you’ve been very generous in your donations to my campaigns, ever since my second term as a senator. I wouldn’t want people to believe-“

“That you sucked my dick for that? That I donated millions to your campaigns because we were fucking?” He huffs a laugh. “You’re not that good in bed, Aaron.”

Aaron despises the wording, but in the end, yes. He gives a short nod.

“I don’t want anyone to assume our close personal relationship during our time at Princeton affected our professional relationship in the years that followed.”

Bellamy shrugs.

He swirls the whiskey in his glass, Aaron can hear the ice cubes clink. Bellamy never really cared for whiskey, he just drinks it because of the image it creates. Aaron knows these kind of things, because he knows Bellamy. In ways the people he works with on Wall Street never will. Unfortunately, that works the other way around as well. It’s part of the reason Aaron isn’t offended. A bigger part, though, is that he knows when Bellamy goes this low, he doesn’t really have any true argument going for him.

“But that’s not true. Because of Princeton I knew you. Knew your political goals, your stances, even those you never made public during your first years in the senate. Unlike everyone else who was lying – well, at that time you were already lying, too – I remembered those nights you told me what you really believed in. And it can never hurt to have a friend in the White House. Even better if it’s the President himself.”

Aaron keeps himself from grinding his teeth. Bellamy is making it sound like there had been undue influence, and there hadn’t. Didn’t the man see that he was only making it worse?

“Bell, I-”

“So you do remember that nickname.”

Aaron sighs. Once, it had been so easy between them. But that had been decades ago. A presidency ago. Two terms in the senate ago. And most importantly, an engagement ago.

“Of course I do, Bell.”

Bellamy shakes his head. Aaron can see the change in his eyes – this conversation has never been about their relationship, not really. Not for Bellamy.

“We used to lie in bed together and you kept telling me you couldn’t come out. Couldn’t even go to a gay party with me, or a protest, or a rally, anything, and you could have claimed you were just an ally. But you didn’t. You told me you couldn’t come out. You told me you didn’t see yourself reaching your goals with a man by your side.”

Aaron takes a deep breath.

“I was right about that. Which is why I came out now. After I had reached everything I ever wanted.”

“But you were seeing him for years. You two were a couple for almost twenty years.”

There’s an accusation in there, and anger, and betrayal.

“Bellamy, let’s be honest here. You would have never done that. You would have never played hide and seek for twenty years just to be with me. You wouldn’t have agreed to being smuggled into the White House. You wouldn’t have waited months to see me for a night. You wouldn’t have put up with the press speculating about your relationships while never being able to say anything that’s true.”

Bellamy downs his whiskey in one go.

“Probably not, you’re right about that. But you never even gave me the chance.”

Aaron closes his eyes for a moment.

“We broke up more than thirty years ago, Bell. You can’t possibly still hold that against me. We weren’t even happy anymore.”

Bellamy gets up, gets himself another drink. Aaron waits. He has the patience of a saint, according to Alex. He certainly has the patience of a politician, and in this case, that might be even better than a saint.

“All I’m asking is that you keep our sexual relationship under wraps, Bellamy. I cannot force you to do it. I have nothing to hold over your head. I’m simply asking because I don’t want us to be accused of things we didn’t do.”

Bellamy sits back down. The couches they sit on are plush, a small table between them. It reminds Aaron of the many uncomfortable negotiations he held in the Oval. He never expected himself and Bellamy to end like this.

“I would only compromise my own integrity by doing that, Aaron. I wouldn’t want to hurt myself or my company just to get back at you for dumping me thirty years ago.”

“Good, good. That’s all I wanted.”

Aaron smiles at Bellamy, relieved. He has enough to handle as it is, the whole coming out is more work than he ever anticipated it to be. But of course the public is interested. And he doesn’t owe them anything, but he made the decision to come out for a reason. He gets letters now, every day, from boys and girls, women and men all around the country thanking him for giving them the courage to come out. It’s almost like after he legalized gay marriage, only now he doesn’t have to pretend it’s not his community that’s affected.

“I will still provoke Hamilton whenever I see him. Or, the future Mr. Burr.”

“Actually, I will be taking his name.”

The left corner of Bellamy’s mouth twitches, his eyes are angry for a moment. But he lets it go.

“Another drink?”

Aaron shakes his hand, places his glass, still more than half full, back on the table.

“I’m sorry, but I have to leave. Be well, Jonathan.”

“Yes, you too, Aaron.”

Their goodbye is awkward, but it had been awkward between them ever since that fateful night when Aaron told Bellamy that there would be no coming out, no event Aaron would ever accompany Bellamy to. Sitting in his car, he wonders what his life would have been like had he had the courage to come out back then. He would have never become president. But Bellamy had made it. Maybe so would he?

Then again, without Alex…would he even have gotten through his presidency? Well, life is full of ifs and buts. Aaron knows he had been lucky. With his career, with his friends, with Alex.

Aaron Bellamy had been the fantasy of a twenty-year-old pre-law student, nothing but an illusion. An impossibility.

“You sure it’s okay that I called?”

Aaron rolls his eyes, having already heard the question three times in the past ten minutes. “Bell, I asked you to call.”

“I know.” Bellamy sounds like he’s smiling, as if that fact pleases him, as if he had asked again just to hear Aaron point it out. “I just don’t want to disrupt your studies.”

“You’re not,” Aaron assures him, shifting so that he has a better grip on the textbook currently balanced on his knee. “I’m glad you called,” Aaron says, meaning it.

“Good,” Bellamy murmurs, and Aaron listens to him breathe in and out, the sound soothing and giving the allusion that Bellamy is really there with him instead of at home with a vast space separating them. “I was glad you asked me to call.”

“Good,” Aaron echoes, and he can feel himself smiling into the phone, wonders if Bellamy can hear it in his voice.

“I can’t remember the last time we were apart for this long. I miss you.”

“It’s only been a month,” Aaron tells him, but Bellamy just hums sadly, and it makes Aaron think about what he’d said, and how true it is. They’ve been tied at the hip ever since elementary school, had only gotten closer through middle school and high school before they started dating in the second semester of their freshman year of college.

“A month is a long time,” Bellamy says, and then he sighs, the sound causing Aaron’s heart to clench. “Damn you and your desire to always be ahead of the game. I don’t understand your passion for education.”

“I’m only taking two summer classes,” Aaron tells him, feeling the need to point that out. It’s not that weird. He’d wanted to take a full course load of summer classes, but Bellamy had finally convinced him not to. “And hey, you have time off from your internship in a week, right? You can come visit.” He pauses there for a moment. “If you still want to.”

“Of course I want to,” Bellamy exclaims, his voice coming across the line much louder than before, and Aaron can picture him so easily; eyes wide at the insinuation that he wouldn’t want to come visit, mouth probably hanging open, too. “I would visit you now, if I could. Stay there with you the rest of the summer...”

Aaron has to bite his lip at the words, doesn’t trust himself to speak. He’ll say something he doesn’t want to, will admit to just how much he misses Bellamy, and he knows that if he tells Bellamy how lonely he is, Bellamy would drive down immediately, get to Aaron’s dorm in the morning without even worrying about losing out on his internship.

“I had a dream about you,” Bellamy says suddenly, his voice soft and full of something that makes Aaron’s stomach flutter. “Last night. I couldn’t sleep at all, cause I was just thinking about calling you today. But I drifted off at some point, started dreaming and...”

“And what?” Aaron asks, finally shutting his textbook and placing it beside him on the bed, and then he leans back until his shoulders are resting against the headboard.

“And I was with you, in your room. You didn’t see me, you were bent over your desk and working, muttering things under your breath and looking so stressed. Then you turned and saw me, and you smiled and stood, and then...”

“And then?” Aaron prompts, wanting - needing - to hear the rest.

“I miss you,” Bellamy breathes out. “God, I miss you so much, Aaron.”

Aaron swallows hard. “I miss you, too.” He shifts again, lies down on his side and holds the phone close, presses it to his ear. “Tell me what happened next.”

“I held you,” Bellamy says, a smile in his voice again. “You were so warm and soft. Then I kissed you. I kissed you over and over. You tasted good, but not as good as you do when I’m really kissing you and not just dreaming about it. And then...well, I’m sure you can fill in the gaps of what happened next.”

Aaron presses his face against his pillow, smiling into it as he tries to keep his breathing steady. After a few seconds of silence, he swallows slowly, his throat growing tight. “I wish you were here, Bell. I know this was all my idea, that it’s my fault we’re apart, but I - “

“Aaron.” Bellamy’s voice is gentle, already cutting through the spike of anxiety Aaron feels in his veins. “This isn’t...I’m not blaming you. I’m not mad at you.”

“I know,” Aaron says, and he does know, but that just makes him miss Bellamy even more. Bellamy always understands, always says the right thing to calm Aaron down. “I just...”

Bellamy chuckles when Aaron trails off. “I know,” he tells him quietly. “Just one more week, and I’ll be there.” 

Aaron shuts his eyes, focuses on Bellamy breathing again, pretends that he’s next to Aaron in the bed. But it’s not enough, the ache in Aaron’s chest just growing bigger. “Keep talking,” Aaron whispers into his phone, needing Bellamy to understand that he needs some way to close the distance between them.

Bellamy hums softly, and Aaron thinks he hears him getting up. “It’s raining here,” Bellamy says after a few seconds. “Listen.” There’s the sound of Bellamy pushing his window open, and then Aaron hears the rush of rain mixing with wind. “Is it raining there?” 

Aaron doesn’t know. He hasn’t been outside all day, hasn’t really been aware of anything until now.

He pushes himself up, walks over to the window and pulls open the blinds. Outside, rain is falling steadily, the street lamps making the wet pavement glow orange. 

“It is raining,” Aaron tells Bellamy, and he reaches out to open his window, too, and then he leans against the wall, watches the drops of rain break apart as they hit the ground.

Aaron doesn’t know how long they stay like that, listening to the rain fall from both ends, saying nothing. Eventually Bellamy breaks the silence, tells Aaron that he’s reaching a hand outside, that the rain is warm.

Aaron extends his own hand forward, palm facing up as he stretches his arm out. Drop after drop of rain hit his skin, the water warm as it drips and trickles over the edges of his hand.

“I love you,” he tells Bellamy, curling his hand into a fist, trying to catch some of the droplets of rain, wanting to feel them more firmly against his skin, wanting to capture the one thing connecting him to Bellamy in this moment.

“And I love you,” Bellamy answers, a new smile in his voice, and Aaron knows it’s the smile that is always on Bellamy’s face right after they kiss, the smile that makes Bellamy’s eyes light up, the smile that makes Aaron’s heart feel too big for his chest.

I will always love you, or anyway I will always have loved you now. (And you will always be someone who was beautiful, once.)

(send me a softer world prompts)

for @littledeconstruction (I answered the other one here).