@burnsun “I was asking why they’re not here, not whether you’re dating, but good to know.” azriel
“your wording implied something entirely different.” her words came out sharp, “i’m not his keeper, how would i know where he spends his free time?” she was irritated. beyond irritated. the way she stabbed her food with her fork was proof of that. after their first joining he had left her in that bed, no cuddling, no soft touches, nothing. it was his parting sentence that really had her irked. thanks for the ride, nes. it had her wondering if he had enjoyed it as much as she had. then there was this morning during training, the looks they had shared, the innuendos. now he wasn’t even here for dinner. it had nesta’s head spinning and she hated him for it. she couldn’t let him have this much control over her.
azriel isn’t an idiot. he had to know her and cassian had sex after the kelpie attack. it wasn’t just the fact that nesta and cassian’s scents were now intertwined, but their relationship was shifting. it was a shift nesta dutifully ignored and willed herself to push away. she wouldn’t allow it to happen, she can’t allow it to happen. whether it’s because azriel is the night court’s spymaster or he’s just as much a busybody as the rest of his friends, he had to have noticed that shift. for some reason he has a good read on nesta, when he looks at her it feels like he can see right through her, could see her bruised and battered heart. and she could do the same with him, can sense the hurt dwelling inside of him.
the only reason why she never lashed out at azriel for it is because he never delved deeper into it, he didn’t force her to open up and talk about it. he’d maybe ask a question or two, but never did he push her. it was much appreciated. the two of them seem to have a mutual understanding with one another, to know they both harbor a darkness inside of them, but to never push it. it’s why she doesn’t ask why he doesn’t go to feyre and rhysand’s house often, why he would rather stay here up in the house of wind with the chaos between her and cassian than stay with her sister and her mate. she does have an inkling though.
“you’re a shadowsinger, are you not? can’t your shadows tell you where he is?”