#building support groups

In the last article I described how the brain is able to manifest multiple intelligent personas in real time, while you dream.  I suggested building these persona’s by interviewing the character.  There is another way.  There are various books, animations, TV shows, and movies that you read, watch, and listen to.  Each has a litany of characters to choose from, but at some point, you identify with different characters for different reasons.  People you would want to be, or people you would want to have help you on a quest.

In another blog that I maintain on Leadership, I look at the definition of Leadership, different people, situations and discussion topics raised around leadership. When you build this cadre of characters who are going to follow you, you are acting as the leader.  Maybe more than acting, you are the leader. 

But more than just being the leader to followers, your followers are amplifiers of your perspective on what life should be like.  Your hopes, your beliefs, your ways of doing things, your rituals, your routines, your emotions, ...  Followers hold you accountable for mistakes or missed opportunities, or failing to execute something.  They are not accolades to resound your point of view, but there to challenge you to be more than you are. Better than you are.  Work through your issues and help others.

Finding Supporting Characters

What books do you read?  

What TV shows do you watch?

Who do you follow in Facebook, Twitter, Social Media?

Which characters do you relate to?

Why do you hurt when they are emotionally hurt?

Why do you laugh when they make stupid mistakes?

Do you feel the way they feel when they feel an injustice has occurred?

Do they want the same type of world you do?

Once you find the characters that you would want to support you, write about them.  

Who are they?  

How much do you know about them?  

Can you build a profile of how they react to situations?  

When have they had good days vs bad days?  

How do they mesh up with your goals, beliefs, values, ...

Would they be willing to support you, why or why not?

If they are not willing to support you, why is that?

Is it worth fighting with a Supporting Character to get their Support?

I don’t have an answer for this.  But what I will tell you, is based on the movie, Jacob’s Ladder.  It had a profound affect on me, as it did relate to the way I viewed the world around me.  For those that haven’t seen or heard of Jacob’s Ladder, it is a story of a soldier during the Cambodian War, who was subjected to a drug called Ladder. It was designed to take the soldiers right down to their base instincts and fight with a ferocity never before seen.  And that they did. 100% kill.

However, Jacob, the primary character is flipping between two realities. We as the audience are not sure if the soldier is reality, or him loosing his son is reality.  But both play out.

At one point, he is seen by his Chiropractor who provides a pivotal piece in the movie. “What if the daemons are really angels, ripping away all the things we think are important to us. Leaving us open to accept the reality that is?”

If you have to fight with a Supporting Character to get their support, then are you really fighting with them, or are they telling you what you have to give up in order to get what you want?  

In other words, why is their support so important? What support are they going to provide you, that you would give anything to get it?  And if you would give anything, then what would you give up to get it?  And, if you gave it up, would you need their support anymore?

Instead of asking a supporting character to help you resolve a problem, ask them what they would do in a situation.  I once had an opportunity to ask a friend that is a millionaire a similar question.  “I know you probably won’t invest in me, but out of curiosity, what do you invest in and why?”  His answer to my question here is not important. What is, is that instead of trying to win support from a potential supporting character, understand what the character supports, when and why.

Finding the Essential Support Character

No one support character is going to be ideal for a particular problem, but they can be present to help you work through a problem with someone being the primary support character.  In a recent dream, I asked, “Who is going to help me solve this problem?” Yes, the question is open ended, on purpose.  Of all the people I know, my subconscious will sort through them and find the right situation to make me aware of who that is.  And, if possible how they will help.

As it turned out, I’m working on a programming project, and need help promoting my product.  The person that was chosen to help me, is a former employer of mine.  He sold an accounting / manufacturing mini computer system to manufactures of Tier 3 suppliers to GM, Ford and Chrysler. 

In the dream, while he was not present specifically, his support staff where.  So, whether it’s him, or the accumulated knowledge that the group has, I can’t be sure. But I do know, that this group as a whole worked to acquire clients, support their clients, and maintain a business.  I admired them for that.

Sometimes the essential supporting character is not a person at all, but instead an environment.

Is it a Supporting Character or a Supporting Environment?

Every hero fights an injustice. An injustice that has become ingrained / accepted into the fabric of society.  Thus a hero goes through several phases to resolve the injustice and triumph, also known as the hero’s journey.  

Though the hero’s journey is does not happen in one place. It happens through a series of places, or land scapes, or scene scapes.  Each environment, just like a video game, provides the hero with a series of tools in which to build their skills in.  For example, when you which to learn a martial art, you may enter a Dojo where a teacher shows you the technique.  The teacher is not part of the environment, it is the Dojo that is the environment. You can see, smell, hear, touch, taste, and interact with it, but it in itself does not interact with you in the same way.  A teacher does.

Thus your subconscious is able to generate both interactive personalities as well as environments in which you to interact with these personalities. So, what type of environment is it?

Was it bright a color?

Was is gray?

Was it dark and gloomy?

Was it pitch black?

What characteristics were there?

Furniture

Walls

Carpeting

Inside or Outside?

If you can’t find the words to describe the environment you were in, go to a library and research architecture style books. They have lots of pretty pictures, demonstrating different accouterments that can adorn any building or open area. This will also help you build a larger dreamscape pallet  for a safe space.

If you can draft or sketch, you can draw basic outlines of the environment to help you identify unique qualities of what is needed in the environment, as well as identify things that don’t seem to fit.

Interviewing the Support Character

As you fall off too sleep, as that a specific character appear in a safe environment for an interview.  Get to know them.

What is their philosophy of life?

Do they care about humanity?

How could they support you?

When do they appear in your dreams?

What can you learn from them?

How much time do they think you will need their support?

What types of situations would they like to explore with you to resolve?

If they were to write a story about an aspect of your life, which chapter would they work on?

3 Times

Before asking your support characters to help you with a main issue, have them work with you on 3 different minor issues first.  You are building a team, not trying to stop a tsunami from occurring, while the earth is crumbling underneath your feet, and you have to learn to fly, while saving everyone.  No, this is not team building, this is crisis therapy.

Team building is the art of building trust that your characters will be there for you when you need them.  And, that you have learned how to call upon them through out your dreaming experience.  Practice.

As a Jujitsu Instructor, it takes drilling 1000 times to master a specific technique. So then you should drill your technique. Patiently, repeatedly, and constantly, every night, until your subconscious knows what you are trying to do.  Unlike reality, the subconscious takes about 2 weeks to master a technique.

Start with the safe environment for you and your support character.  Once you can reach that environment, then begin inviting your support characters, one at a time, to your safe space.

Once in your safe space, ask each character to be interviewed.  If they don’t want to be interviewed, then just sit with them there.  Maybe the their lesson is helping you learn to be calm in a safe place, while they are just there.

Leadership Essentials

So, you’ve taken about 6 months to build your support network. You know who is going to help you. Who is going to be on the side lines. And who is pretty much not going to follow you.  There are others.

Leadership, is guiding intent with integrity towards a goal.  There are those that will follow and those that won’t (a range if you will).  There are those that don’t care either way.  And, then there are those that will observe and report on your progress, execution, style, or other characteristics of your leadership.

5 groups:

Leaders

Followers

Not Followers

Outsiders

Observers

You need them all. But you don’t have to worry about all of them.  Not Followers and Outsiders will tell you what you need to know, but it’s each will tell you based on your level of confidence.  Followers will build your confidence through accolades.  Non Followers will attack all aspects of your leadership.  Observers will be critical of different aspects of your leadership.  Outsiders won’t care, and at this point in Directed Dreaming are background characters needed to help move the lesson along.

It’s the Non Followers you have to be careful with.  Critical Observers will usually help you understand both what you did, and how you could have done it better.  Non Followers will only tell you what you did wrong, in order to destroy your confidence.  However, their attacks have a golden lining in them.  They told you what you did wrong.  So, what was the right way to do it?

The Non Followers will never tell you what the right way to do it was. That is the job of the Observers, Followers, and the Outsiders.  Sometimes an Outsider is actually doing what is supposed to be done, just outside of your awareness.  So, pay attention to as much detail as you can about your dreams.