#safe spaces

I can have a Tumblr account where I see literally nothing but thirst traps of celebrities. I can have a Tumblr account where I only see positive content about a morally complex or morally unsound character. I can have a Tumblr account where I do not see even an iota of real life politics.

None of that is bad.

I am still aware that that character is morally complex. I do not need to be exposed to character analysis or opposition in order to be aware that character is still morally complex. I do not need to deliberately expose myself to negativity about that character in order to not magically become a raging axe-wielding murderer.

Echo chambers are not always bad. Stating that you absolutely must expand and expose your personal space to things you do not wish to see literally contradicts the entire point of online curation and curating your own space. It is literal contradictory hypocrisy.

"You're allowed to curate your own space as long as you actually don't curate it too well!"

Stede is allowed to fall apart. In any reciprocal relationship both need to support and care for the other, and Ed needs to do that for Stede as they begin their life at the inn. Let Ed be sad and angry sometimes. Let Stede be sad and angry sometimes too. They have a lot to be sad and angry about, and a half-century of pain is not something to get over in mere moments, even though both made great strides in the second season. The difference being they get to feel that pain now with the support of the person who loves them entirely. Who sees their worth and wants the other to heal and be whole.

The beauty of this story is not that Stede gets to be Ed’s emotional carer. It’s that they both get loving support from the other as they learn to care for their own emotions, and recognise and ask for what they need and deserve. They can only heal themselves, but can now do so within a co-created safe space. That’s how best it will happen.

Some thoughts here sparked by @roxyrondell

Red Horn Woman

What makes this genuinely concerning is how openly they show contempt for people who like a fictional figure. If someone cannot respect another person over something this harmless, it shows a mindset capable of far worse once the subject becomes real. That is why their behavior is not just annoying, it is dangerous. A group that attacks fans for harmless preferences is a group that normalizes aggression as entertainment. They praise each other for cruelty, they throw heavy accusations around with no sense of responsibility and they enjoy the feeling of control that comes from shaming someone publicly. This is not passion but a distorted performance that has nothing to do with a healthy community. It is a toxic pattern where emotional instability and childish thinking create real harm for fans who simply want peace, and pointing out this behavior is necessary because ignoring it only allows that hostility to spread and push more people away from a space that should have been welcoming.

And no, we are not attacking you, we are not bullying you, we do not even need to do anything. All we have to do is let you speak and you reveal your own behaviour.

Let these screenshots be the proof.

Family, friends, and allies, today we are reaching out with heavy but hopeful hearts.

Our community is facing a serious humanitarian crisis. Heavy rains have destroyed fragile shelters. Food supplies are depleted. Vulnerable members of our queer refugee community are struggling to survive.

We urgently need to raise $2,000 to provide emergency support in the following areas:

🌙 1. Muslim Queer Brothers and Sisters

Many are fasting and praying while enduring hunger and rejection. They deserve dignity, safety, and nourishment especially during sacred times.

🏳️‍🌈 2. Queer Refugees in East African Camps

Facing discrimination, limited access to food, and unsafe living conditions, many are surviving day by day without certainty of their next meal.

👩‍👧 3. Single Mothers

Strong, resilient women caring for children alone in extremely difficult conditions. They are doing everything they can but they cannot do it without support.

💊 4. Refugees Living with Chronic Diseases

Those battling HIV, diabetes, and other long-term illnesses urgently need proper nutrition to stay alive and maintain their treatment.

🏚️ Shelters Destroyed by Heavy Rains

Recent rains have torn down makeshift homes, leaving families exposed to cold nights and unsafe conditions. We must rebuild and provide emergency materials.

Last time we shared our cause, we did not receive any donations. That was heartbreaking but we have not lost hope. We believe compassion still exists. We believe someone reading this can make a difference.

No amount is too small.

Every dollar brings food to a plate.

Every share brings hope closer.

If you cannot donate, please share this message widely. Stand with us. Stand for dignity. Stand for life.

Check our link in the Bio

Together, we can raise $2,000 and save lives.

Please help. 💛

This is a personal story, so feel free to scroll on past (if you're only here for the Jikookery I can respect that).

I'm posting this because it's connected to what Jimin and Jungkook (specifically Jimin) may or may not be doing with this album and their travel series "Are you sure", and by that I mean coming out publicly as queer and as lovers. If it sounds vague, it is, because I don't know what they're doing yet. I don't know how far Jimin is taking this or what direction he'll go. But if he is going to make his private life public, then my post is relevant even though my experience is a microscopic spec 0f what he will encounter.

I live in a conservative little town on the edge of a big city, we're almost the last stop on the metro train line. This place has 10 000 residents and a reputation for being a little on the rough side. It's not a bad place and the people are not bad people but they won't step aside if you pick a fight, lets put it that way.

There's one high school in our little town, and I am the school librarian. I also run the school's pride club and when I started it 5 years ago (that's when I joined this school) it kicked up a bit of a stink. The community had mixed feelings. I wasn't out as trans at that point, only as queer. The school principal supported the club but wanted me to keep it quiet (I didn't). She wanted me to be appeasing (I wasn't). And when we had challenges from homophobic students, she wanted me to 'let her handle it' ( I didn't).

I responded to bigotry with patience and kindness, modelling the behaviour I expected and having many many conversations about prejudice, the patriarchy, learned behaviour, fear of the unknown, and minding your own damn business....

When I came out as trans to the school community - changing my name and pronouns - I faced some real push back from both staff and students. Students were less openly hostile but sometimes the subtle attempts at bullying are worse. My line manager was really difficult about it. I was a hot topic of conversation. It wasn't a good time. But I stuck with it, partly because I couldn't go back and partly because the Pride Club students were so empowered by what I was doing. They thought I was really brave. I couldn't let them down.

It was a tough time for me personally. Every day was a struggle as I navigated my wavering sense of identity and tried to be true to myself. Most of my family and friends were okay with it but some were not. Some flipped back and forth, some thought I had lost my mind. I had to let a few people go from my life, including one of my closest friends. I've lost a few more since then. I've cried more in the past few years than I have in my whole life and I am pretty tough, so you gotta know - it was a lot.

Fast forward to now. The pride club is well established, homophobia still exists but it's less overt and it's no longer ignored, and we have staff who are active allies. It's definitely a success. Our students to have a safe place where they can be themselves, and slow change is coming to the culture of the school.

It has come at a personal cost though. Not a HUGE personal cost but enough for it to matter. I am recognised and known around town because, well, most people in small communities know each other. But more so because of my role in the school, and because I am the only out and vocal queer person on school staff (yes, there are other LGBTQIA+ staff but they keep it quiet, and I don't really blame them).

At school i still have to correct people on my pronouns on a daily basis, and occasionally a student will throw a comment my way but it's not often these days. I have to come out to all the new staff pretty much as soon as I first meet them otherwise it's awkward. It's just an everyday thing. It's not a big deal but it's tiring, and it's something cis/straight people don't ever have to think about.

What is tough, though, is sniping from the community at large every now and again. I have been targeted on community socials and I've had had some pretty brusque service from local shop owners and service personnel in local businesses. Sometimes I see kids from school at the shops and they point me out to their parents. I pretend it's because they're happy to see me (what the fuck else am I going to do - hide in the apple crate?) They may say a friendly hello... or they may following me through the aisles of the supermarket trying to menace me - yes, that has happened - I just have to wait and see.

I do have allies in the community too - like the gorgeous pharmacist who always gets my name and pronouns right and compliments me (on whatever he can think of) every time I collect my meds. There's a stern woman in the hardware store who makes a point of loudly correcting herself when she uses the wrong pronouns (often). I appreciate this, I really do, but honestly it would be great if she could be a little quieter.

I am not a celebrity by any means, just a small town school librarian. But wherever I go in my small town - to the doctor, the supermarket, the park, or the gym - there's a chance I'll encounter someone who knows my face. Sometimes that makes me nervous.

The point of this long and boring post is to give people who may not know what it's like, a bit of insight into the experience of a regular, everyday person who lives in a conservative place and who is both recognisable and queer. It can be exhausting, and from time to time I struggle with mental health issues. So I have no doubt that for people who are really well known, it would be much, much worse. They would be the subject of public debate on news sites and TV. They'd be tossed into arguments by politicians on both sides of the divide. They'd encounter hostility in person too, and that's really frightening.

So please remember that if the celebs you admire choose NOT to come out, it's because they've weighed up their choices and that's the safest option for them. Support them where they're at, so they can live their best life under the circumstances.

If they do come out, they'll probably need even more support. Please love them, defend them, celebrate them, and validate them. They need you more than you know.

And above all else, be a good human.