#buglehoroscope

AUGUST 19 HOROSCOPE

ARIES: The thing about being hard-headed is that it takes a while to realize when you’ve cracked something. Now might be a good time for you to pause, to admit that even your formidable horns aren’t indestructible, and to bandage up so you can heal.

TAURUS: It’s been a trip to the fair for you lately, although most of that time felt like you were strapped into the Tilt-A-Whirl. If people offer you a steady hand to hang onto till you get your balance back, don’t be stubborn and don’t be fussy: the alternative is landing flat on your ass. 

GEMINI: Whenever things look up for you, you’re too busy looking into doing favours for all your friends to even notice it. Do you have to make things so hard, you damn dirty ape? Okay, I know you won’t listen, but still -- take a flipping Me Day already. Take two, one for each Twin.

CANCER: Pay attention. Things have been slipping your notice lately because you can’t focus in properly on what’s changed and needs you to attend to it, and these things are important. You’ll never catch the yellow monkey butler if you don’t. See, you probably didn’t even realize I stopped making sense, because you tuned out. Your loss, babe.

LEO: You, my feline friend, are the lobby of a hotel right now: there’s a revolving door between you and the rest of your world. People are coming in, some are leaving, a couple might be stuck in the door not knowing which way they’re going. Make the decision for them. You’ll have to be honest with yourself. You’re not always good at that, but be brave and be Nike: just do it.

VIRGO: It’s always nice to have things just the way you like them. But things can’t always be nice, can they? Especially when ‘nice’ is sometimes a stand-in for ‘the safe status quo because I’m reluctant to do anything else’. Get messy! Let yourself be a rumpled-up imperfect being, sweet Virgonians! 

LIBRA: You’ve been eating way too much pie. I mean we all love pie, who doesn’t love pie? But there’s too much of a good thing going on here, Libra. You need to get back to the other important things in life otherwise when you look up from the crust crumbs and blueberry smears, there’ll be nothing waiting.

SCORPIO: I’m gonna level with you, Scorpions: you’re pissing everybody off lately. It’s great that you have so much confidence, but true real confidence means that you show interest in other people as well as talking about your many, many accomplishments. 

SAGITTARIUS: The way you’ve been casting around for new interests, characteristics, and -- let’s face it -- a solid, defined personality, can feel a little sad sometimes. But don’t lose sight of your end goal! It’ll be worth it when you can have a conversation with friends without being defensive the entire time.

CAPRICORN: There’s being moody, and then there’s using that as an excuse to be short and snippy with everybody. Quit wallowing! Throw yourself into some new hobby (and remember, people are not hobbies and most of them don’t need your suggestions for ‘improvement’).

AQUARIUS: When things change for you, they change fast. Make sure, Water Babies, that the current doesn’t sweep you out to the open ocean and leave you floundering. Wear your pool floaties at all times and take some damn swimming lessons to be safe.

PISCES: My little Fishie friends, you have an unfortunate tendency to think that you’re helpless to get out of the shallow mud flats, when in fact a little effort will get you into clear, moving water where you can actually progress. There’s no need to stay stuck if you don’t want to.