It happens the next day after After the Long Day (on the Barbersâ farm) and develops some themes of that. The priestâs words is something I heard somewhere.
OâMalley sat on the sill and looked out the window now and then. Ben wrote something in his notebook. Suddenly he got stopped by some sudden thought and glanced at OâMalley. He noticed it and turned his head to Ben.
âWanna ask sumthinâ?â
âYes, about yesterday. If you donât mind?â
âI wonder what Lustâs ultimate goal was. It wanted power to seize the Anchor, but what then? Did it explain that to you?â
âIt did. Said peopleâs feelingsâre chaos, a total mess. When it got thâ Anchor, theyâd have only Lust, nothinâ else. Dunno whatâs gonna happen tâ those like me. Mebbe, it coulda forced us to feel?..â
âHardly. It wasnât able to seduce or overpower you in Space-Between. I suppose itâd just control people like you, as it did with us in the Anchor. Or like Envy controlled Wolfe, even though there was no drop of envy in him. Other people would be used as food.â
OâMalley sneered, âI coulda been thâ Resistance leader.â
Ben looked down into his notebook not to let OâMalley read in his eyes âIt would kill you as soon as it got what it wanted, along with us.â
âDunno, mebbe, itâd not so bad fer others?â he said flippantly. âMost people enjoy thât thing, ey? Kinda like an everyday ice-cream festival.â
Past reason hunted and past reason hated...
âIâve seen people succumbed by Gluttony. Disgusting sight, but itâs not the matter. They didnât enjoy food, they just couldnât help eating. I suppose itâs the way Sins deal with us: they take our natural need, the gratification of which gives pleasure, and switch the focus onto the process till that becomes an unquenchable need. You just canât stop it, overcame by the passion... and the words pain and pleasure lose their meanings at that point.â
âLucky me not tâ see thât.â
âYou were where you should be,â said Ben. He recalled the Anchor, Lust and the woman whose true name they didnât know. Of course, he wasnât aware then that it was she who shot Henry Barber... and had made something to OâMalley in the past. He didnât want to ask what. But still...
It doesnât love you. It canât.
âItâs not the worst,â he went on. âThe worst thing is what Lust makes of love.â
âLove ainât snogginâ and smoochinâ,â he said defiantly.
âOf course not,â Ben agreed in surprise. âWho says otherwise? Love has a lot of kinds and forms.â
Caritas, amiticia, amor, ludus... Learned by heart Latin names ran through his mind.
He stood up and approached OâMalley. There were the girls making fun with puppies outside the window. Sidney Malik played with them though not as eagerly as he could two days ago. Florrie watched them and Wolfe talked with her about something.
âLove for the parents and children, brothers and sisters, friends and neighbours â all this is love. And everyone knows that. Only Lust would want to make us all forget that, to reduce all loves to eros and eros to...â Ben stopped to find the right word, âto mating. Actually, itâs exactly what it wanted.â
OâMalley clasped his knees and put his forehead against them.
âIt said âough it canât seduce me, I still cling tâ love. Said thâ word like itâs filthy.â
âThe devil can speak true, too,â Ben smiled with irony. âIt canât comprehend what love is but knows that it is its worst enemy. One of it and other sins.â
He recalled an exchange between some girl and priest he had heard during one family Christmas dinner.
âDo you really think that physical intimacy without love is sinful?â
âI think that everything without love is sinful.â
âMaybe love is the only barrier between us and them.â Ben seemed to think aloud. âOf course, Sins can taint and distort it with selfishness, envy, lust... But if you really love someone, not just use them as a source of pleasure or comfort or a device of your own ambitions... if you love them for their sake, then...â He didn't say what then. He thought about Wolfeâs hand on his shoulder, dispersing Wrathâs mist, Vee supporting him through Slothâs fog and OâMalley whose power released him from Lustâs capture.
âHow could we win the day, without love?â he asked himself quietly.