#bugfics

"Lock and Key" (Frozen mAU (Domestic Assassin), Snow Sisters, fully outlined, 3 chapters posted) To get back at Elsa for missing a planned sisterly get-together, Anna hides all of the coffee in the house.  Chaos ensues, as Elsa tries everything up to and including foam dart guns to get the key to the coffee from Anna.

The Calm After the Storm, chapter 12 (Frozen canon!verse, Snow Sisters/Kristanna/Frohana/Frangled, partially complete) The final chapter, still incomplete.  In Jan '16, I got some helpful writing advice from @azaholmesly on the story, but I shamefully let it gather dust.  As soon as "Lock and Key" is done, I'd really like to finish this and get it off my list.

"To See Her Smile" (Frozen canon!verse, Kristanna, not outlined or started) Hurt/comfort fic.  Anna has a nightmare, and Kristoff reaches her before Elsa does.  (May work this idea around one or both of the Anna Weekend prompts.)

"Bus Stop" (Frozen mAU (Heiress), Kristanna, 1 chapter posted) Like the song by The Hollies, a romance that begins at a bus stop.  Semi-wealthy heiress Anna Aren runs out to the bus without her umbrella, and it starts raining.  A tall, blond stranger rescues her, and agrees to help her out for the day, leading to a budding relationship.  As with "A Warm Place", this will go little further than fluff and cuddles.

"Untitled" ('verse not decided, Frohana, not outlined or started) Anna is having a bad day, so a very busy Elsa assigns Kristoff to try and lift her spirits.  Don't have a clear plot for it just yet.  (Suggested by @karis-the-fangirl, who asked for Kristoff solving a problem.)

"If-Then-Elsa" (either DA!verse or Sitcom on the Wire, no ideas yet) (I'm tempted to go with DA!verse featuring "Ruth" here, because maybe she's also a bit of a hacker, like her namesake...? :P)

"Assassin's Treed" (Frozen mAU (Domestic Assassin), no ideas yet) (Because Elsa's always winding up sniping from trees, and when my phone suggested "Creed" after typing "assassin", this title idea popped in there.)

"Rock the Frozen Heart" (Frozen mAU, not outlined or started) Modern AU where Anna and Elsa (and possibly Kristoff) have their own rock group, based at least partially on real-life group Heart. (Headcanon explained in more detail here.)

"Untitled" (Frozen canon!verse, not outlined or started) Since opening her door for good, Elsa has had trouble finding her way around the castle, to the point of getting lost on the way to meetings.  (Headcanon from here and here.)

     Four words are all it takes to bring the two young boys to blows, albeit gentle ones (or so they claim), and Laertes is never allowed to hit Hamlet back for long. (It always depends, of course, on how fair Hamlet is feeling that day -- and the proximity of Laertes’ father or Hamlet’s mother. The only adult that lets them combat would be the king himself, who booms out a laugh and offers words of encouragement or shouts of advice.)

     Today, they’ve been lucky enough to begin fighting far enough away from any adults to be stopped. Such fights can be . . . rougher than most, and are hardly balanced enough to meet up to the rules of fencing. These rules include, but are not limited to: no giggling, no running, no shoving, and ABSOLUTELY NO hide and seek breaks. All such rules, as can be agreed upon by two out of two young boys, are absolute rubbish and should be ignored.

     Shoes clatter upon stone, smatterings of heaving breathing interposed with childish shouts of the lack of fairness strike the air. (Hamlet insists that he runs slightly slower than he can in times like this, to allow Laertes to catch him, but of course Laertes knows better.)

     Such chasing always ends in catching, as it always must, and the boys tussle -- time and time again, until one or both get bored and another activity is hunted for (or until one or both are claimed by their parents and dragged off for studies or lectures or -- at worst -- state dinners). This moment is fated to end, as all moments are, but the boys are determined to make it last as long as possible.

     And such avoidance of responsibility is something that must be agreed upon in a spilt second -- as long as the wrestling boys have notice from the echoes of Polonius’ droning voice, and the soft attempts at interjection from his heavily pregnant wife, down the hall. Two of Denmark’s illustrious youths move as one to duck behind a tapestry, shushing each other on one second and struggling not to laugh in the next. How Polonius doesn’t notice the giggling wall hanging with four legs will never be clear, but both boys are exceptionally grateful for their luck.

They say that "home is where the heart is".  In the Arendelle's case, it was more like "home is where the cat sits".  Theirs had to be the only house in the entire neighborhood—heck, the whole city—with a large cat sitting on the roof over the front porch, keeping watch.  As he stood regarding the animal, Kristoff Bjorgman wondered if Elsa trained it to do that, or if perhaps the cat was her familiar.  Maybe it could be called on by the Org for a dangerous mousing mission . . .

The white cat, which stood out clearly against the roof it was sitting on, did keep the neighbors and passersby wondering, and potential solicitors off balance, including Kristoff.  He thought it was strange, and wondered whether the cat would automatically attack someone in uniform—which, considering Elsa's chosen profession and need for secrecy, would make sense.  How did such a big cat got onto the roof to begin with? he wondered.  As he approached the house, the cat did not move from its perch, simply continuing to stare.  Must just be for the intimidation factor.

Glancing one last time at the feline sentinel, he walked up the porch steps and rang the bell.

"Who is it?" came Anna's voice from inside.

"It's Kristoff."

"Oh, Kristoff, hi!  Come on in, it's open."

"Really, Anna?  Isn't that kind of risky?"  He stepped inside, quickly shut the door behind him, then scanned the floor in front of him.  Sure enough, he found a cat there.

When he and Anna had started dating, she had gone over the rules of the house.  Rule Number One was "don't disturb Elsa when she's in her room", and Rule Number Two was "do not leave caffeinated beverages unattended".  But Rule Number Three was "always watch your step when entering a room".  The fluffy black and gray cat currently in his way, spread almost full-length across the entryway, promptly rolled onto its back, perhaps inviting him to rub its belly.

"You'd better not," Anna said.  "Lucifer has a bit of a temper."

Kristoff wisely decided to follow her advice, and followed her voice to the living room.  Anna was sitting in a recliner, reading a magazine (Nurse Fashion), with a small white cat perched on the back of the chair, seemingly reading over her shoulder.

"You can relax, you know," she said.  "If any suspicious people showed up at our house, Marshmallow would raise such a commotion out there, we would know well in advance."

"So I'm not suspicious, huh?" Kristoff said wryly, indicating his uniform.

"Nooo.  Anyone else wearing that uniform would probably show up in numbers, ready for a fight."

"Right."  He pointed at the cat on her chair.  "Is that cat, uh . . ."

"Reading? Ha!"  She set her magazine down on the coffee table, and turned to give the cat a scratch under the chin.  "I haven't met a cat who could read or spell, but Olaf here sure does try."  She gave him a quizzical look.  "So, what's up?  Working the beat get boring, or something?"

"I worry about you," he replied.  She gave a little smirk, and he felt himself blushing.  "With all the effort by the force to find and capture the dreaded Ice Queen, I want to make sure that you two are okay."

She laughed.  "Did you do air quotes just now?"

"Well, she isn't dreadful once you get to know her.  More like a crazy cat lady."

"Crazy, huh?"  She hopped out of her chair, somehow not disturbing Olaf from his perch.  "C'mere, let me show you something."

Kristoff followed her upstairs, wondering where she was taking him.  Anna knocked softly on one of the doors, and opened it.

Elsa was actually awake, for a change.  As often happened when she was at home (or so Anna claimed), Elsa had a handful of cats for company.  There was a small one perched on her head, and several others lounging around the room.  Yet another was currently engaged in a game with Elsa, where it would half hide under the covers; Elsa would pat its little paw, or boop its nose, and the cat would retreat into its little cocoon, before mewling and poking its head out again.

"Hi, Elsa!" Anna said cheerfully.

"Hey."

"Kristoff came by to check on us."

Elsa seemed to notice him for the first time, and flinched before regaining her composure.  "Oh, hi.  Marsh let you in?"

"Uh, yeah," Kristoff said.  "He sure looked at me funny, though."

"You know, that cat is smart enough, I think I could teach it to snipe—"

"ELSA!"

"What?"  Elsa gave Anna an innocent look.  "I wouldn't let him shoot the fine Officer Bjorgman, here—"

"Elsa, no."

Elsa harrumphed.  "Oh, fine.  At least Marsh can tell friend from foe."

"Elsa, the last time your friend Ruth came to cat-sit, she claimed that he growled at her."

"Well, Ruth is a bit of an odd case."

"I know, right?  She's at least as crazy as the cats."

"But she's a good shot.  Anyway, I think—"

"Well, ladies," Kristoff interrupted, "I think you're both doing well.  I'd best get back to my route."

Anna looked disappointed, but said, "Oh, okay.  See you later?"

"Sure."

Back downstairs, Kristoff headed for the front door, noting that Olaf was still on the chair back, but was now sprawled hanging over the back of it.  Stepping carefully over Lucifer (who gave him a dirty look), he went back outside, and turned to regard the currently silent roof guardian.

Nah, not strange at all, he thought.

"Why do you suppose he left so suddenly?" Elsa wondered.

"Probably weirded out by the crazy cat lady and her sniping cat talk."

"Oh, come on," Elsa whined.  "Marsh is big enough.  There are plenty of obnoxious birds around, and I have a rifle just the right size—"

"For the last time, no."

"You are no fun at all, you know that?"

Anna sighed.  "At least I make sense.  This house has room for only one dorky assassin."  She winced, and muttered, "Can't believe I just said that . . ."

"Meanie."

Kristoff Bjorgman knew that he would find himself in many dangerous or unusual situations working in the police force.  Putting on a show for the rest of his his squad that looked good enough, but still allowed the criminal to get away, was far from what he would have expected.

"Look, in that alley—the Ice Queen!" one of the other officers hissed over the radio.

He had obviously spotted what Kristoff now saw, lurking in the shadows—a small blonde haired figure in a dark jumpsuit, carrying a sniper rifle.  It was, indeed, the "domestic assassin" that had eluded the police time and time again.  She was also his girlfriend's sister, who he had sworn to protect, and that presented a problem.

"Hold your fire!" he snapped.  "We can't let her get away, but we're to take her alive."  He drew his own weapon.  "Understand?"

"Yes, sir!"

Outside of the shadowy Org, Elsa Arendelle's powers of ice and snow were known to only a few.  To the majority of the police force, they were just rumor, and what gave her the nickname of "Ice Queen".  What they said really made her dangerous, though, was that she was a very competent fighter, both with firearms and hand-to-hand combat.

Kristoff hoped like hell that Elsa really was as good a fighter as she claimed to be, or he would have a lot of explaining to do to Anna.  He approached the alley, and shouted, "Ice Queen, halt!"

Elsa looked up, seemingly startled, and started to back away.

"Don't move!  Surrender, in the name of the law, or we will have to use force!"  He looked her square in the eye, then, and gave her a wink that he hoped no one else saw.

She smirked.  Planting one foot firmly on the ground in front of her, she took a fighting stance and called, "Come and get me, then, if you dare!"

"Move in!" Kristoff shouted, and charged, quickly glancing to ensure his men did the same.

The first officer went down right away, slipping on the almost invisible ice that was now on the ground.  The next two officers were more wary, but still had great difficulty keeping their footing.  Kristoff very nearly fell himself, but he'd had the foresight long ago, shortly after meeting Elsa, to invest in the very best traction footwear.

He smiled grimly.  Even those who saw Elsa's magic in person didn't believe it—the icy trick she had pulled here, subtly stamping her foot, could be explained away by her somehow splashing water on the ground without them noticing.  Which then iced over.  On a warm evening, in July.  Right.

Sgt. Wesel, though—he believed the rumors.  Kristoff didn't dare tell him that it really was "sorcery" that she possessed, or he would risk revealing his association with Elsa, and put both of the Arendelle sisters in jeopardy.  To say nothing of losing his job and probably going to prison himself, for aiding and abetting, obstruction of justice . . .

He shook the unpleasant thoughts away.  Right now, he had to focus on getting to Elsa, and then somehow getting both of them out of this.  He stood his ground, waiting for his squad to pick themselves up. 

Elsa, meanwhile, had jumped onto a dumpster, and was watching the comedic display with thinly veiled amusement.  "Are you boys sure that you can catch me?" she said.

"We can try!" one of the officers shot back, hastily charging her again, and again faceplanting for his trouble.

"We have to stop her!" another shouted after watching his friend go down.  The second officer stood as best as he was able, took aim with his handgun, and fired.

He had aimed low—probably for the knees—but Kristoff hadn't given any order to open fire.  "Hold your . . . fire . . ."  He trailed off at the sight of Elsa completely unharmed, as if the bullet had never even reached her.

There were murmurs of "What the hell?" and "Did she dodge it?"  The officer responsible for firing the first shot looked baffled for a moment, then let out a wordless yell and proceeded to empty his clip in Elsa's direction.  Kristoff watched closely as some unseen . . . something slowed the bullets in midair, causing them to fall short of their intended target.

Now the murmurs changed to cries of "Retreat!" and "Run away!", the other officers turning and running away, apparently scared out of their minds.  Now Kristoff was left to face Elsa alone.

"The Weasel isn't going to like this . . ." Kristoff muttered, turning his radio off and walking towards the alley.  He felt an unnatural bite to the air as he neared her.

"He'll probably be madder at them for chickening out," she replied, swinging down off of the dumpster.

"Uh, Elsa?  How did you, uh . . ."

Elsa waved a hand dismissively, and he heard a quiet tinkling sound behind him, as a large number of icy somethings hit the pavement.  "Tiny bits of magic ice floating in the air.  Almost invisible to the naked eye, and too small to make much of a sound when hit.  Can't afford to let them see me conjuring up anything, so this is a bit more subtle."

"Is this what you do all the time?  For a living?"

"When I'm not sniping someone from a tree or a rooftop?"  She shrugged.  "Yeah, sometimes.  It's not always practical, though, and it's not always easy to conceal magical ice."  She looked at him then, still standing with his handgun at the ready.  "Shouldn't you put that away?"

"I have a secret to protect, too, you know," Kristoff answered, "and I have to make it look like I'm still trying to do my job.  In case any of them come back.  You know, with reinforcements."

"Sure."  She was silent for a moment, then said, "Well, I wouldn't want to disappoint them.  And I can't exactly have you following me."

"Wait, Elsa, what are you—aah!!"  Elsa thrust her hands forward, and suddenly Kristoff was surrounded up to his chest in solid ice.  "Elsa, wait, I'll freeze!"

"Oh, you'll be fine, Kristoff.  It'll melt fairly soon."

"How soon??"

"An hour or so."  She smirked at the horror on his face.  "'Ice knowing you, Officer!"  With that, she collected her rifle and gear, and ran.

It started with an encounter outside her study, a couple of days before Yule Day.

Elsa had decided to take a break from her never-ending paperwork, and go spend some time with her children.  But she hadn't taken two steps out the door before she realized that Alarik was standing there.  Before she could ask him why, he took her in his arms and kissed her.

"What was that for?" she asked, breathless. "A belated birthday gift?"

He smiled, and said, "Oh, just because you're beautiful, darling."

"Thank you, Alarik, that's very sweet of you," she replied, puzzled by his coyness.

She had a similar experience the following day, in the hallway outside the Council chamber.  She could feel every eye on them as he spun her around and dipped her.

"You know," she said, when she got her breath back, "this is unusual behavior for you."

"Do I need an excuse to kiss my wife?"

"When there are a half dozen or more councilmen watching?  Maybe."

"I'm sorry, darling," he said, letting her go.  "I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"Don't worry about it," she said quickly.  "Just . . . maybe with fewer people around?"

"As you wish," he said, bowing mock-politely.  Elsa covered a giggle with her hand.

Sometime later that day, she encountered Anna.  Her sister was all energy, as usual, running around the castle putting up Yule Day decorations.

"You look like you're having a good day," Anna commented.

Elsa knew her sister very well, and did not miss the slight smirk on her face.  "Did you have something to do with Alarik's, uh . . . sudden forwardness?"

"Who, me?"  Anna wore the most innocent face in all of Arendelle.  "I would never."

"All right, Anna," Elsa said, looking her squarely in the eye.  "But I am going to get to the bottom of this."  She grinned, and added, "Even if I have to subject someone to tickle torture."

Anna looked horrified.  "You wouldn't."

"Oh, but I would," she replied, and walked away, leaving her sister sweating.

She found Alarik in his laboratory, fussing over a pile of manuscripts.  As she expected, the moment he saw her enter, he leaped up and crashed into her, face first.

When they broke for air, she asked, "Has Anna talked to you recently?"

Alarik's face went blank.  "No more than usual.  Why?"

"Oh, no reason."  Obviously, Alarik knew something.

Alarik could sense that she didn't believe him, apparently, because he suddenly said, "Jenny wanted to do some decorating the other day.  She said she had some things to hang up, so I helped her reach."

"Well, I'm glad she's getting into the holiday spirit," Elsa replied, understanding beginning to dawn.  "And, um, where did she say she got these things?"

Alarik looked rather sheepish.  ". . . Anna."

"I see . . ."  Glancing above the door of the laboratory, she found the last piece of the puzzle.  There, hanging where anyone who knew it was there would see it, was a sprig of mistletoe.

Why, that sneaky little . . .!  Anna had obviously engineered this so that she could deny putting the mistletoe up—which was technically true—and so that Alarik would know exactly where they were.

With a wave of her hand, she made a little gust of icy wind deposit the plant in her palm.  "Let's go talk to Jenny," she said cheerfully.

Alarik paled.  "You're not going to punish her, surely?"

"No, no, of course not," Elsa assured him.  "I am going to teach her something, though."

On their way to the nursery, the pair found Anna, still in decorating overdrive.

"Anna," Elsa said, "when you're done with that, do you think you could join us in the nursery?"

She saw a flicker of unease cross Anna's face, but just as quickly it was gone.  "Yeah, sure."

When they arrived in the nursery, Anna's daughter Neta was there, keeping an eye on her young cousins, Jenny and Dag.  Dag was on the floor, playing with toys, and Jenny was absorbed in a book.

Elsa sighed; her children were almost the same ages that she and Anna had been on that night so long ago, when everything changed for them.

"Aunt Elsa," Neta greeted.  "Uncle Alarik.  What brings you both here?"

"I came to speak with Jenny," Elsa replied, "but you can stay, if you want."

"Mama, is something wrong?" Jenny asked, looking up from her reading.

"No, nothing's wrong."  Elsa knelt down in front of her daughter.  "I just wanted to ask you some things.  Were you helping Papa decorate a few days ago?"

"Yes."

"Is it true that Aunt Anna gave you some things to put up?"

"Yes."

"Did they look like this?"  She produced the sprig of mistletoe she'd taken down.

"Mistletoe, yes."

"And do you know what mistletoe is for?"

"It's . . . um . . . a decorative . . ." She trailed off, blushing.

"Go on, tell her, Jenny," Neta said, grinning.

"People . . . kiss under it." Jenny finished, staring down at her book.

"That's right," Elsa said.  "And because he helped you, your papa knows where each of them is."  She winked at Alarik, and he chuckled.

Jenny tucked back a loose lock of auburn hair, looking nervous.  "Am I in trouble?"

"Of course not, little one," Elsa said.  "You told me the truth, so I won't have to tickle you."  Jenny breathed a sigh of relief.  "However, I do need to teach you what happens when someone plays a prank on your mama."

She said it in a semi-severe tone, not stern enough to frighten Jenny, but enough for Anna to come bursting through the door.  "Elsa, wait—"

Without turning around, Elsa waved a hand at her sister, causing a miniature snowdrift to fall right on top of her.

"AAAH!" Anna shrieked.  "Cold, cold, cold!!"  Dag laughed, and Neta and Jenny were both fighting back giggles.

"That's for pranking the Queen of Arendelle," Elsa told her.  "And for fibbing, and listening at doors."

"I would have preferred the tickle torture," Anna said, brushing snow off of herself.

"That's for the children," she replied.  She put on an exaggerated grim tone of voice.  "For my sister, I show no mercy."

"Aw."  Anna looked at Jenny, then at Alarik, and said, "Which one of you spoiled the plan?"

"Don't blame them, Anna.  I figured it out on my own."  It was only partly true, but she didn't want her sister to be upset with Alarik.

Anna huffed, and sat in a chair, dejected.  "Did you at least enjoy it?"

Elsa looked at Alarik, smiled, and held the mistletoe up over her head.  Alarik grinned, took her free hand in his, and bent down to kiss her.

When Elsa opened her eyes, she looked at her family.  Jenny and Dag were both making  faces, Neta was smiling, and Anna looked insufferably pleased.

"What was that earlier, about people watching?" Alarik murmured.